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This is excellent, and I really enjoyed reading. I think that this is more of prose, or a short story, rather than a poem. This piece makes me hungry...
In the last sentence, you should put either a comma or a colon after "saying". "Hoping" should not be capital.
Those were the only errors that I saw. You have written something really good here! WRITE ON!
You dressed your car up for christmas?! That's cute. I love the way you describe your car, almost like a story. I was surprised to see that there was no errors in your work. I respect a writer who takes the time to make sure that there are no errors. Good story, I love the humorous parts. WRITE ON!
My Comments:
Ah, what a happy tribute to a well-known building.
Favorite Part:
"Soon-to-be classic, downtown high-rise." This one line right here is the best describing phrase for this building that I have ever heard of. Wonderful job!
My Suggestions:
The flow is a bit choppy, you might break some of the lines in half to create smaller lines, as this creates a windy effect the way it is.
Overall Impression:
This is a wonderful poem and a wonderful tribute.
My Comments: Yes, this is true, a strike is a strike, no matter how you get it. Often, it is the best idea just to stick to the straight and narrow rather than taking the "curvy" path. This poem shows us just that.
Favorite Part:
My favorite part was the third stanza, very creative.
My Suggestions:
Keep Writing.
Overall Impression:
This is an excellent poem with more than just one meaning. It flows well and inspires me. WRITE ON!
My Comments:
The discription you gave of these are wonderful. I would love to see these water lillies.
Favorite Part:
"In each classic, shimmering hue.
The late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries
Were truly a blessed time for superbly genuine
And remarkably historic fine art…"
A wonderful discription!
My Suggestions:
KEEP WRITING!
Overall Impression:
This is a wonderful describing poem, that I believe many who stumble upon this will love to read.
My Comments:
This is a poem that any boy or man or even girl would love to read. As it reminds of the bonding, that you will someday be almost like the one whom is teaching you how to fish, and after fishing with you.
Favorite Part:
I enjoyed the 7th, 8th, and 9th lines the best. They had excellent meaning to them.
My Suggestions:
Keep Writing !
Overall Impression:
You have done an excellent job writing this poem. If you can make the reader feel, then your job is done.
My Comments:
A poem about a rose never fails. This one brought joy to my heart. This is a wonderful poem.
Favorite Part:
"Humanity’s honorable distinction,
To grow, care for, and prune
These symbols of youthful love,
Finding inner peace and rejuvenating harmony."
These lines stick in my mind even after reading. They are so powerful.
My Suggestions:
Keep writing!
Overall Impression:
This is one of those poems that are not so easy to forget about after you read them because their glorious power takes over you repeating those inspiring words over again in your mind. WRITE ON!
My Comments:
This is a pretty good poem, with a lot of meaning attached inbetween the lines.
Favorite Part:
I really enjoyed the fourth line the best, as it has the best flow.
My Suggestions:
The flow is a bit choppy in some parts, to fix this you might break these lines into stanzas, or might substitute some of the end words making them rhyme.
Overall Impression:
This is a nice poem about rainbows and storms. It reminds me of nature, and it brings me right to the out doors. Wonderful work creating this image.
This was an amusing read, weird... but amusing. I think that this story would have been better if it were longer. Perhaps make a novel out of it. Although, I would love to see an indigo person! Anyways, I didn't see any errors of any kind, and I have a great respect for those authors who take the time to make sure that their work doesn't have any errors.
A good word makes a good sentence when weaved together. A good sentence makes a good paragraph when repeated. A good paragraph makes a good chapter as this one clearly is. A good chapter makes a good book, which I assume that it is. I really enjoyed reading this. You have created an excellent chapter. I respect an author who takes the time to read through his/her work to make sure that there are no errors, which you have clearly done.
Nice rhyme scheme, your poem has a sing-song type of rhythem to it. I like this in poems, it makes it so much easier to read. The punctuation you used also helped the flow stay even. I think that the legnth of this poem was a slight disadvange. It is really long, as well as the lines. It feels to me as though the poem was basically thrown together, and perhaps by breaking it up a little, this could be helped.
All in all, this was a really good poem with a sad, but true meaning to it. WRITE ON!
Whaaatttt? An Alien Santa? Did I enturprit this right? An Alien Santa... who would've though! Hallarious! I love this one, an excellent christmas story... This left me thinking about presents... Now... where are they?
This one had me laughing, how cute! A nice children's Christmas story! Well written, and qutie educational. I think I should send my sister to Australia. Because she has red hair... When they call her blue... I can put it on YouTube and make a million! JK!
I love these, I've read and went through each episode. They are magnificent. You are a good writer with a wonderful imagination. Your characters are very strong. The plot is realistic and I saw no errors. I have a great deal of respect for those authors that take the time to go over their work and make sure that there are no errors.
Overall Impression
I seriously enjoyed this so much. This is something that is right up my alley. Dragons, and magic... I love this. Plot:
The plot is excellent. The discription at the beginning makes it seem almost as though this is never ending. Characters:
Your characters are really strong. My favorite character is the Blue Dragon. I love dragons. Setting:
You have a paricular strong point for creating a scene for the reader to see. Spelling/Grammar:
I saw none. Not a one. And boy do I feel useless!
Overall Impression
This is a good start, you have some nice features in part 1. Plot:
You have a good plot so far, I can't wait to see where it's going to go. Characters:
Your characters could be a bit stronger. Might I suggest making a character sheet for your characters. I have a character sheet for all of my characters even the ones that were only mentioned but never seen. I put everything from his/her height and weight, to what her hobbies are. Setting:
You have a good setting, although in my personal opinion I would suggest more describing words. Spelling/Grammar:
I came across no errors. I respect authors who take the time to go over their work to make sure that there are no errors. Bravo!
Overall Impression
This is a good story with a nice moral to it. Treasure the little things in life. Plot:
Excellent plot, keeps the readers intrested until the end. Characters:
Your characters are strong, even for a short story. Setting:
I love the amount of imagery that you used. It's blends perfectly with the dictation. Spelling/Grammar:
I did not come across any errors while reading this. I admire an author who takes the time to take out all of the errors in the piece and make sure that it is picture perfect.
Awww! I love this! It's so cool the way that you think of life as a present this way. And the best part, it's all true! I would have seen the future as an wrapped present, but you see it as an unwrapped present in a box. I love the way that you see this.
I found this very true. Sometimes the world is just sad. It's best not to judge others and be a hipocrit.
I noticed no errors in your work, which I found pretty surprising and excellent. I respect this in writers if they are able to go over their work to make sure that they don't have any errors.
Overall Impression
Wow, you are a good writer and I am beginning to really love your work. All of your work have realistic event that could possibly happen. And all of your work has just the right balance of Imagery. Plot:
You have an excellent plot, excellent meaning. Characters:
Your characters could be a bit stronger. You might want to work on them a bit more. Setting:
Excellent use of imagery, and excellent setting that you have created. Spelling/Grammar:
I saw no errors, you really must have taken the time to comb through your work. I am impressed.
Overall Impression
This was an excellent read, very dramatic and realistic. I wanted to read more... I would say that this piece is more than ready to be sent out to a publisher. I couldn't find anything wrong with it, and I looked hard. You shouldn't have any trouble finding somewhere to publish this. Plot:
The plot is absolutly perfect. Well rounded, advances at a quick pace while keeping the details flowing. Characters:
Your characters are super strong. They are wonderful. Your characters have advanced so well that I wouldn't call them characters anymore. Setting:
The amount of imagery that you used is perfect. Just enough for a short story, to be able to picture the characters surroundings. And just enough to keep the reader intrested. Spelling/Grammar:
You have no errors in your work.
Overall Impression
This one was rather good, and I was surprised when I read it. I think that you should make it into a bigger story. Plot:
The plot is excellent! Bravo! Characters:
Your characters are strong. Setting:
More imagery could be used, but it is not necessary. Spelling/Grammar:
I came across many Spelling/Grammar issues while reading. First of all, something that I noticed that you did many time throughout the piece was when a character was talking you put the punctuation outside of the quotation marks, and it is supposed to be on the inside. Near the bottom of your piece I noticed that you put an apostriphe in the word "yours". In this sentence: "Good, thanks", said Adam. "What about your's?"
In the very last sentence, But like I said...we were eleven. First of all, you need to move the "we" over a bit. And second, I'm not sure, but I believe that you need to put a comma after "but".
Okay, I'm done picking now!
Live long laugh hard!
KittyNadem
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That's cute. I love the way you describe your car, almost like a story. I was surprised to see that there was no errors in your work. I respect a writer who takes the time to make sure that there are no errors. Good story, I love the humorous parts. WRITE ON!
