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This one sure is sad. To feel what another feels. Especially one so young. Thank you for sharing this poem with me. It's awesome when you can make someone feel with your words. I am particularly fond of this poem because it has so much feeling in it. I couldn't find anything wrong with it! Write on!
I really love this poem. It has such a nice hidden meaning in it. This was really fun to read, and then I discovered the hidden message!
"It happens. His mouth is writing checks, his body can't cash. If you're going to talk the talk, you better walk the walk. Hell freezes over my dead body. Put your money where your mouth is."
VERY CLEVER I must say! When I first started reading this I thought that it was just another poem... As with the two of your poems that I have read I have realized that there is some kind of hidden quailty to each of them. Each of them has a uniqueness to them. No matter what it might be, there is always something special about them!
This is really wonderful and a joy to read! You are a great poet! The title of this poem is why caught my eye. It was the discription that reeled me in. I did notice that you placed many colons after many different sentences and I'm not sure that it can be changed (for it might change the meaning), but if it is possible you might consider it. As it puts a stopper in the smooth flow of your poem. I had to stop and read the sentences again because I was unsure if it was a typo or if it even belonged there.
Anyway, I'm done picking on that small fact! This was a really nice poem and I enjoyed reading it! WRITE ON!
This is a wonderful poem how it was told in a story type manner. Excellent job! I'll have to reccommend this one to quite a few different people at hand!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
>Check this out<
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With all of the imagery you used here I got the image stuck in my mind perfectly. This is excellent! You are a wonderful talented writer and I love your work!
This was long, however, still pleasurable to read. I ran across some errors while I was reading, so you might want to go through this again. I also wanted to point out the writing rule: If it's a number between one and nine then you must write it out completely. However, if it is 10 and above then you just use the actual numbers. Unless, of course, it is time... then you would write it with actual numbers no matter what the number it is.
This is pretty good, and I can see it on the shelves of as store one day! Just keep revising! You can never do enough of that!
This is a pretty good story with a good plot. I'd love to see where this story is going to. Excellent job with the dictation it seems realistic. Although, the charaters are not so strong. You could use some more describing words to help stregenthen them.
Maybe create a character sheet with every detail about them. I have a character sheet for every character that I have ever used, even the ones that are just mentioned and never even seen.
The format that you used made it hard to read. Yes, it is proper for an actual book, but when it is on the internet you must make double space the paragraphs to make it easier to read. You might even get more people to read it this way.
Overall this is an excellent book with some fine-tuning could be awesome and maybe even published! I applaude your work for it kept me intrested.
This is beautiful and excellently written. I love this poem, it has so much meaning to it. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it! It is perfect in every way! You are a talented author!
You do have a natural talent (apparently) for writing short stories that catch the eye and keep the reader in suspense for the short time that the story allows. Great Job! No suggestions! Only to keep writing!
BRAVO! Excellent short story! I love this, it is so intresting, I wish it were a book! Keeping the reader's intrest is a big deal, and to keep my intrest is really hard to do, and you managed to do just this! RIGHT ON! I will be checking out some more of your work soon!
Awwww!!!!! This poem is very lonely, and you give away this feeling easily. Unlike most poems, the lines flow very smoothly and absolutly none of the words seem forced. And surprisingly enough, it's not windy either! BRAVO BABALU! I love your writing! WRITE ON!
This is a really sad poem that I'm sure people will love all the more for it. It is an excellent thing when you can make people "feel" No matter what the emotion, sadness is always the strongest.
I really enjoyed reading the third stanza. It was the most pleasureable to read.
Keep Writing!
This is sad. Nicely written, and ideas easily thought out and placed on paper, like I've never seen before. This is an amazing piece with, again, few errors. I don't know what else to say. This is wonderful, you are a wonderful writer with a small punctuation difficulty, that needs some work. I really enjoy reading all of your work. Excellent job! WRITE ON!
Wow! Tihs is so cool! Who wulod hvae knwon taht you culod msis selpl all of thsee wrods and sitll be albe to udnersantd the maennig! It was fnnuy wehn I sattred raednig tihs I was giong to pinot out all of the selplnig eorrs! Tehn I raelsied waht tihs was all aobut!
Lvie Lnog Luagh Hrad!
KittyNadem
>Check this out!<
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This is a great poem with excellent use of repeated words! I love the meaning of this poem, as it is true. And this I believe is true for many people. I hope that many people come and check out this poem, and enjoy it, and enjoy the meaning.
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
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This is an excellent poem, which I'm sure many people feel like they want to be loved no matter how many times they are hurt or in pain. Great use of imagery! The words you chose to use, brought more emotion to the poem! Great Job!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
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This one is sad, but not necessarly true... An opinion or one who is sad because they became an adult. This is a pretty good poem, showing one side of a reflection in the mirror. The flow was choppy, and there could have been more to the meaning. However, I still enjoyed reading this poem as I think many others will!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
This poem I find very true, and well written. Unlike the other poems this one has an excellent flow, and excellent words chosen to do their part in this poem! WRITEON!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
This is very sentimential, very good and well written. I love the third stanza the best; It's really good and has a nice flow. Again with this one the flow is a bit choppy in some places, but that's fine, this is still a really good poem, I think it did quite a bit of justice for your nephew and his new love!
Yes, this story is on the truer side. Good work with this one. I liked it, it was enjoyable to read it. I only spotted a few errors, you should go back through this and make sure that all of the errors are fixed. Maybe run a spell check just to be sure!
I was surprised by the quality of this piece. It's excellent! Great work! Although, you might want to go over this again with a fine toothed comb to clear out all of the errors! Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
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