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Excellent, shows how crazy love can be. I might point out: I wait tell she's ready. Shouldn't this be: I wait till she's ready?
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
Excellent work Razor, this is excellent! I absolutly love how you captured every aspect of love combining it with Severus Snape and his... uh... Relationship with Lilly Potter. Even funny at the start. Well done!
Though I might point out that it would be more personal if you used Severus insted of Snape. I think it'd add a nice touch to it.
Anway, great job!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
This is a really good idea, and it's really good. Although, I would like to point out, that though my Birthday has passed. My name isn't on the list. February 14th....
It's nice how all of the C-notes and stuff are on the same page. It makes everything so much easier!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
And well done!
KittyNadem
I think that "She" Is supposed to be "She's" And I think that you meant "Driving" Instead of "Driven" I could be wrong though. Only the author knows his/her true meaning! I really think though... That this is one of your best works yet!
Keep writing! Keep Dreaming!
KittyNadem
Hello Chuck, glad to see that you are adding more to your port! Just came to check it out! This one is really good. Short and sweet!
I do belive in the fifth line you meant: "This will never make me eat" You wrote, "This will necer make me eat. Easy typo to make, I do it all the time! And I believe that "Cry's" Shouldn't have an appostriphe. It's should be, "Crys" The same thing with "Die's" It should be "Dies" The appostriphe shows possesion. Like Chuck's Father. While if you were writing: Chucks jumping. You wouldn't use an appostriphe.
Inless you are using words like Couldn't Wouldn't Shouldn't Can't Won't Don't, Etc. Etc. Etc. You get the point... Sorry I don't want to sound like an English teacher or something! It wasn't too long ago that I made these mistakes too!
I swear the english language is so hard... I should really start writing in Spanish or something...
Anyway! I don't see any more errors... Keep writing and I'll keep reading more of your enjoyable work!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
This is a nice little short read! I only saw a few errors in the story.
Firstly "Haven" Should be "Heaven"
And whenever you use the word "God" The G Should always be capital since it is the name of the dude!
Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem
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I really think though... That this is one of your best works yet!
It wasn't too long ago that I made these mistakes too!