Enjoyed reading your piece. I found it evoked some natalgic feelings. I think you need to try to bring ech stansa closer to the same line length. It will read and flow better if you do. Also, the first stansa is well done. I would try to master the other as that one was done.
Interesting piece. Evoked alot of energy. Funny because I live in the Boise that is in Idaho so it held some interest for me. By the pictures it could be Boise. Not the orthodox poem but it does hold some tender phrases. It could be balanced alittle better.
What a character this Gramps is. I love it! What a fun story. Full of humor and touching characterization. this piece evoked a feeling of fun and life as it should be. I have no criticism. Great proofreading done before hand, good characterization, well written, conversation flows well. Good work!
This was a very good blog/essay. I evokes alot of emotions such as sorrow and a desire to put my two cents in. Very insightful piece. Nothing as truthful as this can be badly written. I enjoyed reading it from the writer's stanpoint, but, also because of the human truth about strength and the inner workings that make us the same.
This is a very enjoyable piece. I found the humor very entertaining. I can see why you recieved the Rising Star Award. Nice! My imagination really did come alive. So true. So insiteful. I usually add that a good proof read is always a good idea but I can't really say that with this. Very good job!
This poem was very dark. Alot of descriptive wordsmade it very interesting. I feel extremely sad and feel sorry for the person. It flows nicely as well.
Proofreading would be a good idea. This was very enjoyable to read. I think Brianna has a good start on a writing career. She needs to get used to the critique and alot of rewriting. She is communicating with the public who doesn't know what she has in mind so it is important to write clearly and with good spelling.
This needs a good proofreading. This reads very natural and smooth. Add some description. Your conversation is good. A thesaurus can be fun. I enjoyed reading this.
I feel like this is more of a journal than a screenplay. Need to proofread this piece. This does have alot of merit. I think you should start it closer to home and get the family history down earlier. Maybe just in passing as main character leaves or.......?
I enjoyed reading this. Makes so much sense and made me feel some sarrow and some joy all at once. This essay was well written and reads well. I really enjoyed reading it. I think writing is good therapy. I wouldn't change a thing!Keep up the good work.
Whoa! Boy, if you had been born afew hundred years earlier you could of gotten hung or burned at the steak for that one. Ha.Ha. It was very well written, had several good points and I enjoyed reading it. Thank goodness we live in America! Oh, and you need to proofread.
This is very good work. Your description is excellent, your conversation is nicely discriptive of the action, and your characters remain strong and true. I read another author's work the other day and it was a good story but the conversation couldn't hold a candle to yours. You really have a gift. And, you are working on a MBA in? Keep up the good work.
This was a cute poem and, yes, it did make me smile. I felt the rhythm could be better and more insinc. It has alot of good points but I think if you proofread it and get that rhythm in pay alittle more it will really read well. It certainly is a feel good poem and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work.
That was cute. Well written and funny. Do you think it was because of clostrophobia? It did make me laugh and wonder if I would want a cock for a pet. I don't think I would change a word. I didn't see any proofreading needs either. I enjoyed reading your piece very much.
Ah, Gypsydoodles, you do good work. What a pleasant and well written bit of prose; and a cute story. Very good proofreading before placing it up for review. It is very important how our writing is presented. Very nice discription. Smooth conversation and evolution of the story. I really enjoyed reading this.
This is a very good first chapter. I think you can do some word cutting and proffreading.You might stretch out your action alittle. In the paragrph before the last you reused 'hatred and anger'. I feel that is a good place for a thesaurus. For the most part this reads well.
THis was quite well written. The conversations were smooth and read well. You do need to proofread this. Your beginning is real good also which I sometimes see as a problem for me. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/km2007/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.26 seconds at 7:02pm on Apr 24, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
