Hi “Pure Sci-Fi”
I read your “The Big Mistake” as a part of my random review exercise .
Here are my observations about it as a reader at large.
A few places that I found selling/grammar errors , as I could make out, are as under:
At line “Looking at what the man is point at the owner said, "That's a picture."” The word point seems a spelling error? I think it should read “pointing”.
At lines “"Remember the doughnut comment? I really just game in to meet you." The word game should read as “came”.
I liked the way you start off without wasting words on, the subtle way you introduced the stranger “alien”. Reader is made watch with curiosity trying to find what the stranger is up to, till the end only to find ,the surprise realization, he’s making you fall into his trap, making her believe him and take him to her residence. It’s well built up surprise!
And I liked the ingenuity you spun a story from out of nothing! ........... kranand
I came across your article “Why I like Writing” as part of my random review exercise. Here are my impressions as reader at large.
It is a first hand account of your personal experience written step by step how you have reached the status of a good writer published books .Your words “A writer does not have to be an expert. I feel the basic set of skills of a writer is a passion for reading, basic literary skills, and a desire to learn how to become a better writer. That said, I feel that that can lead to anyone being able to write a blog, an article, or a simple piece to catch the eye of a reader, digital networker or even possibly an employer. With experience, especially in research of your area of interest you develop the expertise required to become notable. Furthermore, that expertise can lend itself to building value as a writer by becoming educated” exciting and encouraging all writers and specifically those who just enter the game after a lot of toiling in their profession, not finding time to put their thoughts and experinces in life!
Being a newbie myself I think I have to draw good inspiration from you.
Ultimately your words “if you like writing as much as I do, I encourage you to explore this perhaps untapped talent and unleash your inner genius. You may find that you had everything you need to become a great writer, and possibly become part of the expert community, pave your own path, or change the scope of the internet and writing community itself.” Is a great solace for those who become desparate and dejected in the initial stages facing then pangs of a newbie in the art and science of writing!
I couldn’t but quote your lines as they are so beautifully crafted I wouldn’t like change them!............kranand
Hi “Happy to write”
I read your “They came from outer space continued” as a part of random review.Here are my impressions about.
It’all about “ Explore Joe” exploring the ship presumably of aliens . Joe was concerned and compelled to carry out exploration “for the sake of all man kind” even if he had to face dangers from shark monsters in the ship.
Exploration is vividly described , finding some sort of huge collection of books, being studied by a family of aliens. He is confronted with the question , what is the purpose of them studying the books, was it to help or destroy mankind? Is it to take control of humans supposed to be lesser equipped with skills and knowledge?
I liked the picturesque description, tense searching Joe does, suspecting danger at every step, and the guess he does about the son’s and daughters rooms from the rags he finds on way………..The action packed description took me beginning to end with curiosity what next pans out!
Though I didn’t find any errors in grammar or punctuation that appeared glaringly, I was in doubt is it a Pin or Pen he threw in your description at the lines “He stepped back several feet and then threw a pin he had in his pocket, the blue light enlarged and flashed like a bolt of lighting destroying the pen in no time flat”.
I enjoyed reading the portion that you have posted here of a bigger story.
………kranand
Hi, Sonic fan001
I read your “Kamen RiderTime” as a part of random review . Here are some of my observations and impressions as a reader at large:
Though I have’nt checked for spelling/grammar a few places I noticed errors. For example:
In the lines:
John grabbed on to the colt while May grabbed on the filly and the two of them and the mother dived into the library hiding under a window while the forces of shocker casing them passed by.,
“Casing” should read as Chasing Spelling erroer.
In the lines:
it’s simple you give use the devices and we leave you alone if you try to escape you will be killed instantly,’
The word use appears redundant should be deleted.
It’s all about the anti-unicorn group “shockers” taking control of UK’s Government 20 years in the future, creating concentration camps for unicorns “turning some of them into monsters,” and fight against them.
It’s a picturesque narration, action packed, the interaction between two groups , one with time train with powers of Kamen Rider Time ,with survivors John and May, the other ,the Shockers with their own Kamen Rider Gao, piloted by Jake and leader Jayden Xaviox.
The tense action packed opening of the story is remarkable, I eagerly read all through to curiously follow different characters introduced one by one on the way as it progresses, it’s a complex plot mind boggling actions spanning across times 20 years future to the present. A great effort and imagination ……….kranand
Hi Le Grand,
I read your comedy “ An Unusual Ability” as a part of random review. Here is my impression on it as a reader at large.
It’s nice comedy written simple words and amusing the reader looking for more and more of it still to enjoy the fun! How I wish I too had a small bit of it!
The title is very apt , description is fluent, more than anything it’s good fun spun out of nothing ! I liked it much………..kranand
Hi Zaq,
I read your “Puppet Boy” as a random review exercise. Here are my impressions/observations as a reader at large.
It’s about the puppet boy’s plight , he had to obey the order of his masters , indifferent to his feelings.
The personification of a puppet, imagining it to speak and think about itself and the indifference by his masters are brought out quite well, I liked the way its written.
I normally don’t point out faulty grammar or spellings , but I found errors highlighted red and the nature of error is written in brakets, for your information as shown below:
………. Not many understood the puppet man, he was one of few existing for the shier( error in Spelling :should read sheer) reason of pleasing others, doing as they say, and moving at their will.
Hi Harley
I read your “Just Practice” as a part of my random review exercise . Here are my impressions as a reader at large.
It’s about Alisia after a long separation running towards her , getting stuck in a hole ,extricated by her companion , Julianne. Overcome with emotions of separation they hug and express the intensity of separation. The title is derived from the fact that Julianne wonders how come her companion could run with such heels( reader couldn’t make out what was the real problem, is it about unwieldy heels?).
I didn’t check for spelling/grammar or punctuations, though I couldn’t find any faults in the course of reading. There seems to be an error in the sentence "How you get around in those heels ill never know." Error suspected is marked in red bold letters. ……..kranand
Hi indiisnabila
I read your “Overcoming Stress When #stayathome” as a part of random review. Here is my responses as a reader at large.
It’s a good effort to suggest how one can overcome stress arising out of boredom staying at home ,curbing many of outdoor activities, forcing us to follow strict regimes like wearing masks , keeping distance .
It’s written at an appropriate time when everyone is vexed and interested how best to adapt to it. A good effort adding your suggestions people could appropriately choose relevant to their circustances.
A well formatted writing, good attempt to reason out point by point. I appreciate the concern , and liked the style……….kranand
Hi Dr M C Gupta ,
I read your satire “Lord make me a buffoon” in my normal routine reads of interesting writings. Here are my impressions.
It’s the strong deep rooted feeling of dislike on some of the evil perpetrations of bulleys around us in the society you have expressed as a satire. The well written poem rhythmically expresses your feelings, I liked a lot………kranand
Hi Dragonbane,
I read your “Skyboltar and Jess chapters 1-2” as a part of random review under “Read and Review”. Here are my first impressions as a reader at large.
It is a strange story, Jessy talking to dragon? I couldn’t believe myself I am reading for real a beautiful fantasy, like a movie passing across my minds’ eye. It was a feast to my immaginations, I read it all the way till the end of chapter 2, still hungry to read further. It’s fantastic, my words are too short and shallow to express.
It’s all about Jessy making friends with a strange monster Skyboltar, able to converse humans, sing and make friends with.
Description is picturesque, filled with trembling fear at first changing into a warm friendship,I liked it most in my recent reads , it’s a strange plot I have not read before…….kranand
Hi “Dragonbane”
I stumbled upon your “StelSong” Sci-Fi in the normal course of my reading fiction of sorts. As I browsed through the big list I caught up interested to read yours because I too am writing a book “Aliens of Milear”.
Here are my impression reading as reader at large.
It’s a cute setting you have chosen , number of characters limited to few, seamless transition from episode 1 to 2 , a good layout flexible enough to insert changes easily without affecting major portion of the collection. I appreciated your ingenuity to create one such.
The description is quite picturesque, filled with live action depicting panic, emergency, a notable point of good writing.
The extraordinary qualities of adapting to new circumstances makes humanoids stand out from humans. What happened to gills she used while swimming ashore? It looks it’s a standard fitting to a humanoid. :)
The characters Stelsong and Pelaris, the headteacher Mrs Santurs, are filled with full of human emotions, they kept me anxious to find what next, right from beginning to end , I couldn’t but read fully a second time , it’s nice to read further episodes as you put them for public read……..kranand
Hi Xtreno070,
I read your jottings of mixed feelings of rage, revolt and war situation created by the 1917 october revolt in Russia. You aptly described and termed it as a nonsense sort of musings,you wanted to write down just at the instant they were felt, lest your memory would fail to recollect later. It reflected a confused state of mind, just engaged in capturing in words the feelings you underwent. Its rightly titled "The begining" indicating the writer's begining I guess!......kranand
Hi “elmoustafi”
I read your draft educational “Before you criticize” as a part of my read and review random review. Please find my response as a reader at large.
You have rightly listed the negative fallout of criticism, then on you have ventured into advising the reader what to do before criticizing, and how such action brings in necessary positivity. A well thought out matter, you have fluently deployed your observation “One of human's terrific craving is the need to be appreciated"
But I feel it’s not entirely so. Many a writer in this forum, I find invite balanced criticism to help assess their writing where it stands. To that extent your conclusion needs to be moderated, though it is practically true in most of our encounters.
I relished the fluent way it is written, it opened up a volley of thoughts in my mind no words can express. A thought provoking bit of writing I liked it for its style and vigour…….kranand
Hi “Elaine C. Miles”
I read your editorial “Life After Death” as a part of my “read and review” random review exercise. Please find here my response as a reader at large.
It’s a picturesque account of the accident as seen and narrated by Stan to you. It’s about the heart rending scene of a father “2-Tall” seeing the horror of his affectionate daughter lying dead.
It’s more than just a report, you have picturized the impact of it on your husband’s life, changing for ever. You have brought out in your lines a noble faith in God: “There was a gentleness and patience in his voice, evidence of God's work through this tragedy. He stood in disbelief and with a new respect for human life, as well as, his family” True it’s your noble vision of Almighty you have skillfully brought out
I liked the master stroke of your pen, it’s great to read!......kranand
Hi Ken
Please find here with my rating 5 stars to your "Prologue"
What I liked most reading it is the attitude saying Quote "Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Please, as long as you're here, leave a comment. Criticisms, thoughts, reactions, yes – even words of encouragement or praise – are all equally welcome *Smile*
Ken"
Unquote
May it be the guiding light for one and all,I cherish it.
.......kranand
Hi Ken
Nice to read through "Prologue" and look for the further developments of it.I came across this in the normal strides of my reading without any specifics but enjoy reading for readings sake.
Yes you rightly quoted and said "Harlan Ellison, an early twentieth century science fiction writer once said "The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity." I stand here and proclaim him the world's greatest prophet! he thought." I agree after my "reading for reading's sake"!
Quite good writing it has added few more lessons in my exploration of writing in its length and breadth. I relished the style you adapted here.........kranand
As a part of random review I read your poem. Please find here my observations as one of the readers at large, if it could help you some way in your endeavor as a writer.
It’s about a traveler who drifts not knowing “where he’s Going or why” but aware “only that he’s going—no Matter the cost of his life of travels”.He is an ardent traveler, ready to take adventures in the normal strides of life beautifully worded “His golden ears piqued forward
With adventure flowing in his veins”
I like the picturesque description of the blaze trail, the penchant he has for adventure expressed forcefully, and mainly about the way he enjoyed nature.
A poem I relished reading……..kranand
Hi “Happy toWrite”
I read your “Knock-off marshmallow treats anyone!” as a part of read and review, random review exercise. Pl find my observations as one of the readers at large if I could be of help to you.
It’s all about knockoff marshmallow, how much it’s liked by all, and the way you made something new using other ingredients, you decided to make today. You have described the process well. So much so good, but to call it a story many factors like , characters, scene, plot and elements of conflict, suspense are to be present. I feel you haven’t included the plot. Elements conflict and/or suspense do not find place any way. The writing at best be classified as an essy. Even there you need to keep an objective what you want to put forth and conclude whether it’s achieved or not.
Therefore I would suggest you give reconsideration what you want to write: An essay? Or a story? Or what else?.
However your description of the process you used something new is well written, I try imagine the yummy stuff, how I got the blipsmacking one myself!
I suggest you update yourself, there are excellent articles written on this website teaching all types of writers from scratch to expert professional standards.………kranand
Hi Jatog Green,
I read through your Sci Fi as a part of my random review. Here are my observation as a reader at large if it could help in any way.
It’s about Beta and omega not getting deep sleep, called as “suspended animation” due to a malfunction in their travel mechanism on their interstellar travel to earth. The suggestion of Beta to play chess game played on earth could fill their time was reluctantly entertained for examination by Omega. But for the preamble I wouldn’t make out any plot in it to attract my interest. This is purely my observation only to be of feed back,no offense meant.
You may or may not agree, I suggest you have a relook into it to include a plot, some sort of surprise and conflict to overcome………..kranand
Hi Fyn,
I read your short story “Empty Nest Solution” as a part of random review, as a reader at large, if it could help you in any way.
It’s about the emptiness that greeted you on your return home after bidding farewell to your darling daughter who got inducted into Navy.
It’s a fluent writing, filled with emotions all the way beginning to end. It’s quite a touching scene rendered with master strokes of your pen, it was a feast to my reading penchant.
I liked the beautiful doll in the picture, a tinge of extempore flow of thought, I love to adapt if I could!
The sentiment stirring writing in this story kept me reading and enjoying quite some time.
A nice reading! ………..kranand
Hi “The Budding Author”
I read your “Technology Career-Why for women” and delighted the vehement justification why women should be encouraged to participate in it equal to or more than their counterpart, men. I read it as a part of Random review and please find my responses to it,as a reader at large, if it some way help you write more and more stirring articles like this!
It was a feast to my thoughts, the fluent style you wrote it, and kept balanced not to lean on any one side, but still put forth your proposition effectively impress well minded readers.
I for one don’t like to go into the grammars or punctuations which could be available for asking automatically if you use available readymade softwares. But frankly I didn’t find any glaring mistakes on my way of reading with focus on content more than anything else.
I agree with your viewpoint gender shouldn’t deter pursuing technology career. It may be true there are instances women do equally or better than men, but the later, that feminine gender is better, may not find good reception in this male dominated universe. It’s open to debate!
The crux of the issue is that women are entering much later than men and it takes them hard for them to match the race, I wish they are provided with a congenial atmosphere to catch up and compete as equals. Keep it up,its well written………kranand
Hi Natty,
I read your “Love Like a Rose as a part of Random review please find my observations and my responses as one of the readers at large as a feedback if it could be of some help.
Its about each moment of time we spent in love likened to a petal of a rose. It’s natural petals boom ,wither and fall. Instead of weeping about its fall, one should cherish its moments of its bloom ,”the moments they are still so soft and vibrant like skin of youth”. You cherish it bloom, close to your hearts keep it above your mortal life. Further you explain significance of love to you is like the water to the rose keeping it live.
I like the beautiful comparison of each moment of love to each petal of rose. …….kranand
Hi
I am reading your "Theory of Water" with a starting question "Why do you have rain"; a pretty imaginative and creative master piece written in simple understandable words, picturesque setting ,it's great ; I liked from beginning to end with curiosity what you are telling, choosing unrelated items till you disclose the purpose "The planet is not so bad. My class about rain has quite a few students. Today’s lesson is all about water existing in gaseous, liquid, and solid states."
It's my impression about it as one of the readers at large hoping to feed back it's lovely writing!
I read the poem as a random read and review exercise. As a reader I give below my appreciation as one of the readers at large.
This poem is about the obvious result of our efforts which are guided by the divine signs nature provides,and is whispered by the winds about the confidence they exude.It gives confidence to live life in all beautiful ways though some times one comes across feeling of an air raid (odds and difficulties ) which are temporary and peace has to return after the raid , it is obvious!
It is a great and obvious rule of nature and flows in the whispers of wind.
I liked the use of metaphors whispers of wind and air raid,and it is described in a well crafted as a poem .......kranand
Hi "Happy to write"
This poem is about the compulsion to honor a contract to serve door to door job under the adversities of humiliating customers,risk of contracting the disease
the frustration it leads one to.
The repeated set of words are meant to stress the feelings of frustration.
I liked the way you have described step by step the adversities the job poses.It indicates the writers personal experience put in words!
You pray Lord Jesus to spare you from firing from job and to save you from contracting disease by making situation a short one.
The last line makes me understand you wish never again to pray Lord for such favours.
I feel the last line be deleted as it misleads the reader if you too agree.
It is a well crafted poem in simple words and we'll connected thought flow keeping the reader to enjoy it till the end.Well done , keep writing and derive happiness of good writing!…....kranand
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