Impressions:This was a really good Christmas story that had me smiling through my tears.
Favorites:
Andy pulled the cap on -- tears running down his cheeks. “Thanks, champ. It’s just what I always wanted.” That line left me thinking, "I do believe!"
Suggestions:There were no errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation. The author has been editing.
Summary:This story flowed well and moved along nicely. I had no trouble placing myslef into the sotry. The characters and settings were well defined. The conversation flowed well and was easy to believe. It certainly helped to move the story forward. I love a story with a good Christmas miracle.
Closing:Nicely done, W.D. Thanks for a good read. Lin
Impressions:I enjoyed reading this story. It was entirely different and flowed nicely.
Favorites:
She closed the door on a man’s hand just as he was about to grab her. The door shut tight and the man’s hand was cut off and lay on the floor of the room. The muscles in the hand were still reflexing and Abby shrieked as the hands still mindlessly grabbed for her. She kicked the moving hand against the wall and it became still. I could see this quite clearly.
Suggestions:I have a few. All numbers should be written out.
Now, Abby,
run correct spacing.
Here you will stay, as it what you wish.' as it is what you wish?
Summary:This story flowed well and moved along nicely. The settings are easy to imagine as are the characters. The dialogue is good and believable. You use it to move the story forward effectively. You caught my attention right from the first and never lost it. There is a great deal of activity going on and this helps set the pace.
Closing:I found the story very creative and original. Keep writing. Nicely done. Lin
Impressions:I had some fun going through this folder. Thanks so much for sharing these stories and your daughter's poem with us all. Your stories flow well and move along nicely. The setting are easy to imagine and the characters are easy to relate to. You have a good sense of humor and it shows in the writing. Nicely done. Keep writing. Lin
Hi Deelyte: This folder is a wonderful tribute to a very special brother. I am sure that Larry would be delighted to know that he continues to inspire you. Your happiness is clear in your faces and I think it is wonderful that you shared them with us all. Lin
Impressions:This was a good read with a happy ending which I enjoyed. A good case of misinterpretation of facts.
Favorites:
“Who was it darling?” Claire asked.
“Just a double glazing company. But the funny thing is they said they’ve been very busy and apologised for not returning my call before now. I know we’ve been thinking of replacing the windows but I don’t remember ringing anyone about it.”
“Well, you know what your memory’s like. You even left a ten pound note in your pocket when you put your jeans in the washing basket. It’s a good job you’ve got me to look after you in the future.” Claire bit her lip again, this time to repress the laughter bubbling inside her. This was a good ending on what hapeened with the phone call.
Suggestions:I saw no errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation.
Summary:The story flowed well and moved ruigth along. I can see why is was highlighted in the newsletter. The dilema was set up nicely and the resolution was good. It was easy to image this happening.
Closing:Thanks for a good read that left me smiling. Keep writing. Lin
Impressions:I enjoyed reading this poem. I have had thoughts like that myself, in the past. I think that many people could relate to your words.
Favorites:
You don’t know how I crave you.
Or how I go to bed at night, praying for your closeness.
You don’t know, and you probably never will.
Sometimes, secrets are better kept as secrets.
Sometimes, it’s better not to know...
But sometimes, I can’t help but wonder! We talk ourselves out of telling people our feelings or thoughts often. This is a perfect example of that. It made me feel sad.
Suggestions:There were no errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation.
Summary:I like the reptition of the line "But you don't know it." It makes you feel sad, regretful and almost mournful. Often we have a fantasy of things that will never be. This reinforced the fact that the person in question has no idea and at the same time confirms that they will not be made aware. I had no problem settling into the reading of this poem. It flows well. It offers a very final conclusion.
Closing:Thanks for sharing this with me, Gina. It has a great deal of emotion flowing through it. Nicely done. Lin
Impressions:This was another extremely powerful poem that told an awful story, and told it well.
Favorites:
I pity myself if there comes a day when a child’s death
Doesn’t hurt me
And deep in the core of me pain
I pity me if that day ever comes I pity us all if that is the way we are. No man is an island.
Suggestions:I was going to suggest that you use more puncuation. On reading the poem over several more times, I decided against that suggestion. This is a peom full of emotion not the least of which is rage. Less punctuation is better.
Summary:This oem flowed well. I saw that resting place and I raged along with you. I felt myself drawn to the child and the relationship with her. I wanted to smack the parents and the people questioning your presence.
Closing:You have a wonderful gift of getting to the heart of a matter and sharing your feelings. I am stunned by this piece. Thank you. I worked in the Family Planning for years. I saw a great deal. Some of it was very painful. You reminded me of that. I am grateful. Lin
Hi Critic: This was a really helpful newsletter. I was the one who asked about the use of first person POV. Thanks for including the information so quickly. I am going to print this whole newsletter out and save it for future reference. There were a lot of good excercises included and heaps of information is here to absorb. I like having a newsletter that incorporates so much. Thanks for all the hard work. It is really appreciated. Lin
Impressions:Welcome to Writing.com. I saw this featured in the "newbie newsletter." This was a scary read. The sea takes without remorse.
Favorites:
Cold icy water hit her as hard as bricks, the air forced from her lungs, her nostrils and mouth filled with sea water, choking her and strangling the breath from her.
Her heart pounded and her lungs screamed for more air, but her arms and legs felt like lead, sinking her, pulling her under into the dark merciless depths of the black ocean. You made this easy to imagine with well-chosen words.
Suggestions:I do have a few.
1. Spacing between paragraphs -double for the sake of the reader and for presentation. Even such a short story needs this care.
2. The addition of some commas would be helpful. I will include a link on that on the bottom.
SummaryThe story flows well and moves right along. The author is good at description and setting, helping the reader to gain an accurate image of what she is trying to convey. Pressure and tension are built nicely. Chills went up my spine. I love the sea but I am always aware of its power. The author has reinforced that.
Closing:Thanks for an enjoyable read. If there is anything I can help you with, please do not hesitate to ask. Keep creating. Lin
Links:
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Impressions:This was a timely poem considering I thought I was losing my mind that day. At the very least I was in withdrawal.
Favorites:
Technical difficulties, were my thoughts ~
The very first time, I saw this prompt.
SM: please get us going again ~
So this poem can finally end. Well said, well spoken!
Suggestions:I saw no tecnical difficulties with this poem. lol!
SummaryThis was an excellant reminder of the day, for me, "the lights went out in my studio. Well the lights were on but the website was off. The poem flowed well and moved along nicely. It was easy to settle in to the rhythm. The prompt was used well.
Closing:Thanks for a good laugh. Nicely done. A good example of the wonderful humor that flows all over this website. Lin
Links:
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Hi Eliot: Thanks so much for bringing this to my attention. It was lovely. So few words and so much emotion. I actualy sucked in my breath when I read it. I had an instant visual. Very nicely done. Have you done anymore like this one. If so, I would love to read them. Lin
Impressions:This was my first copy of your newsletter. You have been so busy this past month I do not know how you found the time, but I am glad that you did. This is one of the best newsletters I have read.
Favorites:
Every experience I have ever had, every plot, fiction or non-fiction, usually triggers a writing deluge. It is a little like being afflicted with a manic-depressive and obsessive-compulsive disorder at the same time. The high starts with an inkling of an idea that I have stumbled across in my mind that I think can be an interesting story line and I can present it in a unique way.
And then it happens, somewhere in the course of putting my musings in some semblance of order, either in my mind or on paper – self-doubt and loathing slithers in. There is no specific time frame when this phenomenon will occur. Exactly!
Suggestions:Can you write about ways around the use of the word "I" at some future point? Big problem for me that I am trying to overcome.
SummaryThsi newsletter was about a topic that I could relate to. It offers an excellant suggestion for overcoming problems.
The solution to my problem was as simple as reading my calendar.
Once I realized that it often takes as long as three months from acceptance to publication, and then added writing, editing, and query time I discovered that literally meant I needed to write about a topic six months before the subject was even on any potential readers radar. Excellant! I write stories that get published in a weekly newspaper. I often go through what you have discussed and it puts a real crimp in my flow. I can adapt this idea for my purposes.
The links were all very good items, as well.
Closing:I look forward to the next newsletter. I am so pleased I got to know you throught the OWD and found this in your port. Thanks for the help you have offered. Lin
Impressions:These just get better and better. Not only is this a great character but the font is lovely as well. Again, the use of more pastel, softer colors sets this off nicely. I love the impression of sation for the dress against the rougher net she is sprawling on. "Invalid Item" Is credited again. The sig was donated by silversara. Nicely done. Lin
Impressions:I lvoed this sig. The colors are so evocative of a fairy realm. The character is beautiful and contemplative. The small touches of Turner's Gold just make it. The persepective is excellant. I know it is for a horror folder but it is evil behind a beautiful mask. Very nicely done. Lin
Impressions:This is a wonderful sig credited by you to {ritem:Bids For Sigs}. The use of soft, pastel colors is very effective. The sig gives the feeling of motion, a breeze in the air while the character is blowing magic out of her hands. Very nicely done. I think it is aptly named with the author's tag -Enchantress. Lin
Impressions:The results of this poll surprized me a bit. I thought most people would have a differnt answer. i do not want to say anything that gives the poll results away. Very interesting. Lin
Impressions:I got a laugh out of this poll. The hair styles examples that you gave gave me instant visuals. The results were about what I thought they woud be. Nicely done. Now what on earth are you going to do with the information? Lin
Impressions:This is a collection of ten c-notes. All original photography revolving around nature. The images are sharp, crisp, and colorful showing nature to her best advantage. I also liked the artist's elegant font choice. There should be something here to suit most occasions. Nicely done. Lin
Impressions:Frist of all, welcome to Writing.com. I hope you will enjoy being a member of our community.
Favorites:
As I crossed the threshold,
I tried to recapture the rhythm of my steps
but now, the sound was only a voiceless music
I had entered a different world! This is so true, isn't it? You took us from the light, color-filled sensory area into the fabricated world that is generaly cold and impersonal. It has to affect us.
Suggestions:I am not an expert in poetry so I can only comment on what I do know. I felt alive and happy while reading your poem. Your entry in to the building deflated my mood. Well done. You do a good job of involving our senses while we read. The good word choices also give us easy to imagine setting. The poem flowed well and mvoed along nicely.
Summary:You may not have English as a first language but you have done a good job of communicating. I applaud your efforts and results.
Closing:This was a good first posting in your port. I hope to see more in there soon. May I also suggest that you fill in your bio block so that we may get to know you. If there is anything that you need help with, please do not hesitate to call on me. Lin
Impressions:You are being Pumpkin Ported. A bit of Octber fun for the Simply Everything Reviewing group. This was a fun, scary story for children and adults alike.
Suggestions:
1.They always had chickens, horses, hogs and some cows in a large corral out... comma after hogs?
2.I got passed the Model T car by the barn okay, then there it was! Past?
Favorite Part: One of these days it is going to grow a body and come for me. I know it! I totally believe you!
Summary:I loved this short story anout an incident that would live on in anyone's mind. There was a witch that lived three houses up from me. My parents said that she wasn't but in nine years I never walked by her house alone. To this day I get a chill up my spine if I drive down that street.The story flowed well and moved along nicely. The author has passed on the child's view in such a way that an adult can read this and nod their head "yes".
Closing:Nicely done. Thanks for an enjoyable read. Lin
Impressions:This is a review from the Pumpkin Porting Division of Simply Everything. I really liked this image you won from Charmin's auction. Good use of color and images. I like the "hear no evil/see no evil/speak no evil" aspect. I liked the combination of the red/black background which reminds me a sponging technique I use in painting. Very nice. Lin Suggestions:
Impressions:I could not help myself, you are being Pumpkin Ported again. When I saw this title I just could not resist.
Suggestions:Not a one. I saw no errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation.
Summary:This is a humorous look at why many people dread the holidays when they include relatives. I think we may be related, actually. The story flowed well and moved right along. The humor flows as well. The author has a great ability to laugh at himself and see the silly side of life. A favorite part: There was also the problem of asking the blessing or saying grace. It is hard enough to get two Baptists to agree on something. It is impossible to get a mixture of Baptists, Episcopalians, Catholics, Methodists, Unitarians, Masons, Rotarians, and five Vegans to agree on what to talk to God about. When asked to say grace, the safe way is to stand up, clear your throat and say “Grace” and sit down. That is all. Just say the one word, Grace, then shut up.
Closing:Thanks for another few moments of viewing the lighter side of life. Keep writing. Lin
Impressions:I am part of the Simply Everything reviewing group and we are currently Pumpkin Porting. This was a very powerful poem about how we perceive ourselves and how we want to perceive ourselves.
Suggestions:I have none as there were no obvious errors in spelling, grammar, or punctuation. I am not an expert on the technicals aspects of poetry but this poem seemed fine to me.
Summary:The poem flowed well and moved along nicely. It was easy to settle into the reading of the piece. The author taps into emotions that many people experience.
because the mirror
cannot tell you who you are
or who you'll be
or why you cry
or why you smile.
Because who you are
cannot be measured
and cannot be weighed
by reflections
but only by the visions
you have, of yourself. Loved these lines.
Closing:I really enjoyed reading this poem. Thanks. Keep writing. Lin
Impressions:You are being pumpkin ported by the Simply Everything group. This was a very believable scenario of a man traveling far from home and thinking about his wife and family.
Suggestions:There were no errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation. I think that I would like to have seen the character fleshed out a bit more. Tell us some more about him. There are also some extra spaces that need deleting, probably created when pasting from word into the body of the static item.
Summary:The story flowed well and moved along. I liked the premise for the story. Fleshing things out more would make this a more satisfying read. I am sure that many men expereince this. Keep writing. Lin
Impressions:I enjoyed this short story in the horror genre.
Favorites:
“Hell, the word without a meaning for normal people, a word with no comprehension, a word which is compared with horrific feelings. They can only try and imagine what hell is, but in your case.” Loved this line.
Suggestions:Missed punctuation after dialogue/thoughts needs to be correct. You might want to go back over each line to fix that.
2.I never ever in my life felt this sick of disgust. with disgust?
3. Sometimes a shorter sentence has more impact. You might consider shortening soem of the longer descriptive sentences. ie: Several of ‘do-it-yourself’ tools are all over the cellar floor covered in blood, also some kitchen knives and scissors, I don’t even want to imagine what happened here in this cellar. Several do-it-yourself tools are all over the cellar floor covered in blood. There are also some kitchen knives and scissors. I don't even want to try to imagine what happened here in this cellar. I dropped the word "of" in the first sentence. Added the word "There" in second sentence, and the word "try" in third.
Summary:This is a very interesting story and I liked the plot. I had a clear imagine on most of the setting and characters. The main characters thoughts and the dialogue between him and the vampire/devil weere believable. It also helped to move the story forward. My main suggestion is that you go back on punctuation as stated above. Also, to think about shortening sentences for impact.
Closing:Very creative. Keep writing. Lin
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