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245 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Family House  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Very well written and it pulled me in and down a memory lane I appreciate being reminded of. It’s the type of nostalgia I particularly like.

I will point out a typo. The line is, “Living in a one room apartment in an drafty rental, I had no desire to hurry home.” I think it should be, “… in a drafty …”

A wonderful little story.
Thank you
Stay safe, healthy and enjoy life, it’s still a great place to hang out.
Paul
🌻🐸🙏🏼



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Third Grade  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
That is so absolutely true. When I was about 6 years old I heard my parents tell a joke using the word, “Dingy,” and spent the time between then and 19 years old, in the navy for 2 years until someone used the word and my mind did a flip/flop that stunned me realizing that Dingy wasn’t a dirty word. I’ve been laughing at myself over that for 60 years.
Paul
🌻✍🏻🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Sponges  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I can see nothing technical wrong, it is well written.

It does bring back many memories though of sitting with my mother in a Kresges drinking a milkshake or a root beer float. I didn’t think there were any Kresges left though. I’ve been Santa for several places, stores mostly but for a TV studio that did Santa videos for kids and parents. A few of the parents got in on the act too.

Thank you again, it brought a warm, fuzzy feeling to me remembering my mother.
Paul
🌻❤️✍🏻🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of The Shed  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)

Very interesting.

Actually I was a superior at several things, but have felt inferior about others. I was a power lifter and my personal best was over 800 pounds. I decided to train for the 1972 Olympics, but I wound up changing my mind after a couple years, the winning event was over 900 pounds and I would not have made that. I was never fearful of anyone, a few situations like when lightning struck an Aeroflot flight to Vienna one time. That got my attention.

Things came very easy to me, but now I wish it hadn’t, I never had to learn how to struggle with answers and that has hurt me over the years. I’ve never been arrogant, my mother taught me what humility is at a young age. I’ve always been concerned about others.

I have much more than 2 cents worth, but I don’t have the time remaining to list it all.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of The Shed  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)

I feel virtually the same, I expect others to act and react like me so I’ve been burnt a couple of times. I’m not bitter about it, just disappointed. I won’t change though, I like being the “Jimmy Stewart” type character I copied from my grandfather. He was one of the strongest, gentlest men I’ve known in my 80 years.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a lovely poem and I found nothing out of sorts in it to mention.

I love humming birds and have written about them, I try to plant humming bird attractant plants and keep at least one feeder going I can sit under and watch them. They get comfortable with me there and wind up perching on me. It’s a real treat to have your ear licked by a hummingbird.

Thank you for sharing your poem with us.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

It’s beautiful in the emotions those 4 lines of 17 words evoke in me. The absolute feeling of disgust for anyone of that ilk. Tolerance and understanding are big in my world.

Paul
Stay safe, healthy and enjoy life, it’s still a great place to hang out.
🌻🖋🙏🏼🐸


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Expressions  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

That is a cute little story. It points out a problem that few talk about.

I have contested for years that the English language is illogical and received nothing but arguments in response. My partner has an MFA, practiced criminal law for 30 years and is a published author so it’s quite a scene when I say that around her.

Thank you for more of the proof.

Paul
🌻❤️🙏🏼🐸


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Fading Away  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

This piece caught my attention because I’m 79 and feeling that fading away approach. I couldn't find any technical problems. I did find a great little story that effected me in a good way. The character sounds like me, I play the curmudgeon, but I like people and interacting with them. It was easy slipping into the character for the story, I like to live it with them, and the final line came as a hammer blow. My wife of 45 years died 7 years ago and she floods back into me as you described. It is a very humbling feeling to remember the 45 years we had together.

Thank you again for the memories reading your story brought back.
Stay safe, healthy and enjoy life, it’s still a great place to hang out.
Paul
🌻🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Soul Drinkers  
Review by Paul
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It’s a good little story and I enjoyed it.

I did find what appears to be a missing word in the sentence, “ He fumbled for the latch, knew it meant something, and then twisted it and unlocked door.” Maybe, “… unlocked the door.” would be more correct.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Stay safe and enjoy life, it’s still a great place to hang out.
Paul
🌺🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Dude!!!  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

I’ve been reading your short stories and this is the first one I thought I could make a contributory comment, you write very well and I failed English so I make few comments there.

I enjoyed this little story, even though it was very dark. I liked the setup of the “Good” brother and really liked the twist you gave the last line.

The thing that drives this comment is the line, “ I cocked the trigger. Mattie yelped finally recognizing what I held. She too seemed frozen.” You do not ‘cock the trigger’ you ‘cock the gun,’ if it’s a revolver you can “cock the hammer“ because it’s exposed and you can see it. You can’t on most automatics. Also, you’ve indicated both windows were closed, both shattered when he fired, so how did he hear a Yelp, then she’s ‘Frozen’ so he couldn’t have assumed the Yelp from her movements. It stopped me and made me think for a moment.

Thank you again. I am enjoying your work. I’m still an amateur and learn from reading others that are better at the craft than me.
Stay safe, healthy and enjoy life, it’s still a wonderful place to hang out.
Paul
🌺🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Daphne Doolittle  
Review by Paul
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your words with us.

I liked the story, tales of Karma working appeal to me.

I was confused by your opening where you talk about your dominate mother in law, then Daphne takes over and is the antagonist. The first two lines make me believe her father is still alive. It’s not his house any more, it’s hers. And if she “Rules” why does Daphne dominate?

I liked the twist of the punishment. It makes me believe in Karma when I read twists like that.

I have an avid dislike for people like Daphne. You brought out her character quite well, I had no trouble developing a dislike for her. I had no problem with Oriana’s character either. You handled the “Cinderella” aspects well.

Thank you again. Stay safe and enjoy life, it’s still a wonderful place to hang out.

Paul
💐🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of Humans  
Review by Paul
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your words with us.

I enjoy writing dialog and reading it, you can pass along a lot of information that way that would just be a data-dump in any other form. I think you write it well.

I enjoy tales about Changelings like Vampires and Werewolfs, especially ones that portray them as thinking entities rather than ravening beasts. A favorite that I can’t remember title or author of had the werewolf fighting against the Axis powers in Europe during WWII. He saved innocent people from them.

One thing that caught my mind were the sentences you begin with an ellipse. To my mind an ellipse indicates broken thought or interruption during dialog and using them at the beginning without any indication of previous dialog or thoughts is confusing to me, I had to reread the section several times to understand. You might consider changing that for clarity.

The only other thing I saw was what looks like a typo, an extra character. Remove the “… a …”from the sentence, “I didn't a actually call you a freak…”

Thank you again, I enjoyed the story.

Paul
💐🐸


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by Paul
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi,

All I can say is, “I love it!” I agree with everything you say and the truly sad thing is that your poem applies to 99% of the people in power who we should be able to rely on for protection, the politicians and the preachers. Both have a vested interest in keeping us ignorant. You can’t control an educated population and both areas require ignorance.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Paul
💐🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review by Paul
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Thank you, they are appreciated.
Paul
💐🐸🦡


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I really enjoyed your story.

Two suggestions that in my opinion would improve the tale. Start a new paragraph when you switch from her mothers voice to her thoughts, you’re introducing a change of view to another character. I’d also delete the line about the dream. We know she was dreaming and the impact of the tear sliding down her cheek says everything you want it too. The dream line draws impact from the tear. This is a very sad story.

Good work. Thank you again for sharing.
Stay safe and enjoy life
Paul
💐🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of The Big Catch  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I liked the story and the rendering of the vernacular dialect in dialog was much what I remember from living in rural Oklahoma in my teens 60 or so years ago. I try for that too with limited (in my opinion) success.

The only minor technical problem I saw was the reference to “Casting Off.” It means to untie from the shore so your vessel floats free and he was already navigating between piles of tires and rusty barges. Something you couldn’t do with a line still attached to shore. I was in the navy for 6 years.

I enjoyed The Lady Of The Lake and Fishing Jim’s finding out he got what he wished for only to find it wasn’t what he thought it was. My thinking is he’s going to spend a long time regretting that while trying to catch his next wish.

Thank you again for a cute story.
Stay safe, healthy and enjoy life.
Paul
🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
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Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think that VERY rotund cat had something to do with it. They were laughing so hard at it waddling along they forgot their differences.
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19
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
I picked Sunflower because of the way it turns to follow the life giving sun. I think we all need to understand that life is meant to be an ultimately enjoyable experience, not an ego satisfying and dominate experience.

I desire a world that understands being different doesn’t mean it’s automatically a bad thing, that accepts the differences, not fights them.
20
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Review of The Original Move  
Review by Paul
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

An interesting story about a game that I’ve never been good at. I can see ahead when I design computer logic, but not in chess. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the series Queens Gambit on Netflix.

I could not find anything I would consider pointing out, it is well structured and tells a neat story. Having read a bunch of history though, I don’t think it was an original move.

Very well told story, I enjoyed it. I’m reading several others too.

Stay safe and enjoy life.
Paul
😁🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of Deadname  
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I liked your words a great deal and could find nothing technically out of place.

You captured me with the third sentence about the chest binder because one grand daughter used one until he could have them removed. He’s now a very happy young man, 21, but I have trouble using non-gender references. I try but screw it up a lot and apologize, but he says he gets it and is glad I approve of his choice. I’ll never truly understand a families reluctance to accept it.

My oldest son, 64 now, and 3 of my 6 grand daughters, 44 to 21, are gender non-conforming. I’m a 78 year old man and I’ve never been anything but supportive of their choices. I had a problem with my sons friends, but I got over that early and apologized to him several times for being a jerk about it and he’s always said it didn’t bother him because he knew I loved him anyway.

Thank you for putting that in this wonderful little story
Stay safe and enjoy life, it’s still a great place to hang out.
Paul
🌹🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review by Paul
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I did not see any technical changes to mention.

I liked that tale a lot. I read a lot of stories about vampires, werewolves, witches, daemons, etc, but most follow the traditional characteristics and that gets tiresome. I’ve read a few about vampires that helped others because they had a conscience, but I can’t remember the titles or who wrote them. One with a wwerwolf during WW2 that helped, but I can’t remember it’s name either.

I liked the fact that Reginald was a reluctant vampire and tried to change. Gandolph was a neat character too, a real shyster it seems. Did he do this to others to become a landlord over many properties? Maybe sell each just for the money?

The end with Reginald having to live in an abandoned warehouse was a neat touch too.

Thank you again.
Stay safe and enjoy life, it’s still a great place to hang out.
Paul
🧛‍♂️🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

You caught my attention with your first line and it drug me into your story. I only have two small suggestions and that is the word “Scuffle” is a verb and what, I assume it’s a she, is looking down at are the “Scuff” marks left by the scuffle. Also the word “Plangent” made me pause for several seconds before the meaning popped in. You might change that for the flow. These are my suggestions only and it is your story.

What I saw in my mind was a woman that lost a father she loved very deeply. The way you have her describe the snow made me feel the chill she referred to real. I felt cold too. Then her reference to immersing herself in memories to force thoughts of him out brought memories of me doing similar things for months after my wife of 45 years died. I had no problem relating to that.

Thank you again for this. I enjoyed reading it several times.
Stay safe and enjoy life.
Paul
🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review by Paul
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I could find nothing technical to comment on.

It’s a cute story, I’ve had a couple cats like that. The most aggressive and territorial were Siamese. My current one, Lilly, a 15 year old Siamese female can still back off a boxer. It’s hilarious watching the dog rear it’s head back and do a skittering backwards dance.

I’m kind of partial to the Weavers version, but I like Burl Ives too.

Thank you again


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Night Thoughts  
Review by Paul
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Hi,

I really liked that short tale. I can find nothing I’d offer as advice or fault, and it read very smoothly.

The reason I wanted to comment is that it’s much like how I feel about my partner. My wife of 45 years snuggled against me like that and I always appreciated it. She snored like a HUGE diesel truck, but only turned over and started again if I tried rousing her. She also squirmed and twisted in her sleep and many times I woke with her feet in my face.

I have a new partner now, have for almost six years, but she doesn’t snore or squirm so my sleep is very peaceful. She also likes to snuggle and put her arm across me or hug me which I love. It’s a warm, fuzzy blanket of comfort I can snuggle into. I was 73 and she was 68 when we met and we both feel that what we have will last for as long as we survive. We both lost partners late in life and feel sorry for those that have no one to feel that comfort with.

Thank you for sharing that with me.

Stay safe and enjoy life.
Paul
🌹🐸🙏🏼


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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