Thank you for sharing your story. Even with the dark theme I enjoyed reading it. Your descriptive language is good, I could pull it around me a feel the story. The use of Munch’s Scream as an image for her face was perfect, I could see and feel it. Also describing her fear as “...rancid, dull paint...” generated an image that engaged my mind.
You tend to use extra words like “Cold” in the first sentence. You say the snow was cold then said “...in the frigid night.” Frigid makes me feel frozen, cold means I need a sweater. Also, shouldn’t it be “Internal” heat, not “Infernal?” It’s her body heat melting the snow.
“She cried in despair.” is a weak sentence. Something like, “The silent sobs bobbing her hunched back with her face contorted into an Edvard Munch Scream showed her total despair.” a Suggestion only in my words, rewrite it in yours if you keep it.
You tell me she’s staring at the fence twice.
Her face could be crusted with or shrouded with a crust of frost, but pickled took me out of the story.
A few others too, but your last sentence feels weak to me. First, you change case from past to present, “She should have been more, but she wasn't.” should is past and wasn’t is present. She CAN’T be “Wasn’t “ though, she’s dead. Maybe, “She could have been more, but she hadn’t been.”
You did have me woven into her plight, the finding her body statement evoked sadness in me. I also felt tremendous sadness for her because of her total immersion of herself in him. She suffered all of his Blame and punishment for him. Women are stronger than men. The only power a man has over a woman is physical strength.
Overall, quite good. Keep up the good work.
Thank you again for sharing your story with us. Stay safe and enjoy life, it’s a wonderful place to hang out.