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849 Public Reviews Given
1,002 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I usually love reviewing. I will try to be honest about any plothole or the language issues I find.
I'm good at...
Poetry and all kind of fiction.
Favorite Genres
Romance, Erotica, Emotional.
Least Favorite Genres
Nil
Favorite Item Types
Poems, Short Stories and Novels.
Least Favorite Item Types
Non-fiction.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of The Answers  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Hey, Rhyanna . I am here with the second review of ally raid. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

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Imagery Created

You husband must have been a lucky person to get such an encouragement. The poem is quite encouraging as it lays down all the fears of your husband(I assume!) and advises him to believe. The romantic in me would like to believe that he did draw his strength through these lines.

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Language, grammar and form

The poem is perfect in the sense of grammar and form but there is one line which jarred my flow. Do not fear that there is certainty of the future. Shouldn't it be certainty in future, or something like that the future is certain. Otherwise it is a well-edited and well-written poem.


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Punctuation

Perfect! *Thumbsup*

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

My favorite line in the poem is the description of shadows: for they are not mere silhouettes. I think I just love the word silhouette and here, it creates a beautiful picture.

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Other thoughts and suggestions

This poem was written fifteen years back. Just amazing! How do you find it now? Have you ever gone back at your poems and felt why did you write this or that you used to be an excellent poet. I have the tendency to do so and hence I always wonder if other people do the same thing.



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


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52
52
Review of ...and Fred.  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, Ken. I'm here with the review of this cute children's poem. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

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Imagery Created

I enjoyed how you wrote this poem from the POV of a five year old child and how she associated everything with her teddy bear. You captured her day perfectly well with the poem.

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Language, grammar and form

The words of the poems are written very beautifully. The rhyme of the poem gives it a sing-song quality. I just have two problems in the poem:

1) and then he sits me in my chair.-- This line sounds a bit off to me. I don't know the reason but it just doesn't create the picture right.

2) The poem has just too many "and" in it, which seem a bit odd while reading.

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

I love the first stanza the most which really sets the tone of the poem.

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Other thoughts and suggestions

It's a nicely written poem which made me smile and made me picture a five year old kid trailing with her teddy in her hand. Thank you for allowing me to review it.

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53
53
Review of Cloud Stories  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey, Ken. I'm here with the review of this poem as a part of your package win. Please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.

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Imagery Created

A very visual depiction of all the clouds in the sky. Who doesn't love to see and watch them. Your lines is an expression of the imagination of a child (and your own!), of how one can view clouds in any shape they want. I was delighted by the reference of the books and characters from the stories which made the clouds a depiction of the viewers' mind.


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Language, grammar and form

The poem uses quite many visuals to express what is going on in the viewers' mind. The rhymes you used are perfect except probably at one place. "Hogwarts" and "sports" feel more oblique to me, but then this doesn't break the flow of the poem.

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Punctuation

Perfect as usual!

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

I loved, loved the opening two stanzas. They set the mood for the perfect poem.

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Other thoughts and suggestions

The poem makes me nostalgic as these days I don't get to see the sky. I'm forever enclosed in four walls of office or home or some other place. It feels that the liberty of watching clouds has been stripped away. But thank you for bringing those memories back.

Keep Writing! *Thumbsup*

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **


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54
54
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, 💙 Carly . Thank you for your entry in "Fluttering Hearts" . I am reviewing this piece as the judge of the contest. Please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.


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Imagery Created

The poem beautifully captures the first experience of love-making. It shows the eagerness of those touches as well as urgency of the situation well.

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Language, grammar and form

I am not aware about the form you used, although I could find the rhythm and the rhyme in the poem. All of the rhymes flowed perfectly in the poem. I didn't find the use of "upon" in second sentence right; "in" will be a better option. But English is my second language. Hence my way of speaking/writing can be different.

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Punctuation

Perfect! *Thumbsup*

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

My favorite section was the secondlast stanza which shows that enthusiasm of the initial touches very well. There were two things which I didn't enjoy. First was the last stanza. Talking about "fall on innocence" and "love" in the same breath didn't feel right to me. I know it's called the loss of innocence, but technically I've always been against this phrase. One doesn't become innocent because of one's virginity. But that's a personal quibble of mine.

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Other thoughts and suggestions

Thank you for sharing with me this first blush of love. *Smile*

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **


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55
55
Review of Promises  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, 🌕 HuntersMoon . Thank you for your entry to "Fluttering Hearts"  }. I am one of the judges of the contest. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

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Imagery Created

I see that sestina didn't drain you enough, so you practiced mini sestina! The poem talks about finding that true love which will hold true. Kissing the frogs till you find the prince was the kind of vibe which I got from the poem. Although I must say that the short sequence of sentences confused me a bit. The second stanza made me think twice if I was interpreting the poem right or not, and I'm still not sure.


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Language, grammar and form

Your mini sestina flows well. I especially loved the way you phrased the last two lines as they left me with lingering taste of the poem. *Smile*

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Punctuation

Perfect! *Thumbsup*

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

Last two lines were my favorites here. The second stanza was the least favorite.


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Other thoughts and suggestions

This poem didn't feel to me as sharp as your other poems, but that's because I have written amazing poems from you. Your fault that you have set our expectations so high!

Thanks a lot for participating and sharing this with me. Do participate again.

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **


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56
56
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey Oldwarrior . I'm sorry it had been so long since I dropped by. I was facing a reviewing block for a long time. Anyway, now I'm here with a review on behalf of "P.E.N.C.I.L." . Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

*Clapper* Plot *Clapper*

The chapter has two parts. One part shows Hamish and Dorbec getting ready for the ants. They arrange for military to fight the ants and arranging the food supply in the island so that there is no shortage in case the ants attack. The second part shows the ant settling in to make her nest in the island.

*Person* Character *Person*

Dorbec and Hamish are shown in the story. They are perfect military people who respond to the problem by planning for the worst case scenario instead of panicking.

*Bookstack* Description *Bookstack*

The description you have shown is sufficient enough for the chapter.

*Magnify* Language and Grammar *Magnify*


This chapter is quite well-edited. I only found two minor error as far as grammar is concerned. They are highlighted below:

1) “About the only froggie I speak is, âne gentil, Ending Quotation marks missed. Hamish smiled back.

2) “Tellie reports that your location is being overran overrun by these creatures?”

*Gold* Favorites and Not-so-favorites *Gold*

I like the previous chapters enjoyed the ant's POV the most in this chapter. What I didn't like was the stoic reaction of the military people. I understand the need for not panicking, but these characters don't respond in any manner to the announcement. I wished you would have shown some kind of physical actions showing their underlying fear. A military person is also afraid, even though they have to show their strength and planning to others. I wish there would be few sentences showing that fear also.

*Thought2* Other thoughts and Suggestions *Thought2*

I again apologize for the delay in my reviews. I see that you've changed the title of the book. It looks more interesting now.

** Image ID #1923282 Unavailable **



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57
57
Review of Sidney The Slug  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey, ⭐️Jellyfish⭐️ . Thank you for your entry to "WDC's Fancy Dress Contest"  }. I am reviewing this piece as the judge of the contest. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.


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Imagery Created

*Laugh* I didn't imagine anyone writing about slugs when I made the room, so this was a pleasant surprise-- one that made me smile. Your poem captures the pains of slug(and gardeners) quite well. It's well-suited to children and especially the rhyme is pretty.


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Language, grammar and form

Your rhymes are perfect. They are simple and lyrical to give rhythm to the poem. There are no grammatical mistakes I could find. Only thing I stumbled upon was "eating the tea".

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Punctuation

Perfect! *Thumbsup*

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

The last two lines. I wanted to clap after them. Or probably give a huge sigh of indignation. *Laugh*

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Other thoughts and suggestions

Thank you for making me smile and giving me this poem. It's always good to read one of your creations.

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **


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58
58
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, Lynda Miller . Thank you for your entry to "WDC's Fancy Dress Contest"  }. I am reviewing this piece as the judge of the contest. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.


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Imagery Created

I must first wave my hand to Poppy. She sounds like an industrious butterfly. *Smile*

I liked the way you introduced us to Poppy and all the things that are butterflies. The tone of the piece was lighthearted enough and I could actually see someone acting and speaking this on stage. So, well done!

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Language, grammar and form

The piece is mostly well-done but there were two small mistakes I found:

They don't know they will become a beautiful butterfly like me.- Since we are talking in plurals here, the butterfly should also be plural.
Hey big boy, I'm poppy.- Poppy is the name here. So, the "P" should be capitalized.

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

My favorite part was how you showed the pollination as a job, food and as hobby.

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Other thoughts and suggestions

An apt piece for the room. Thanks a lot for sharing it.

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **


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59
59
Review of Never Tell a Lie  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, Angels in my Ear . Thanks for your entry in "Words with Wings" . I know this review and the results are shamefully delayed, and I apologize for it, but a trip and some personal issues kept me offline many times.

Initial Thoughts
I liked the story. It shows the way a child thinks and try to wiggle out of the situation. You initial stanzas create the perfectly contrasting picture with the ending. The innocence of the little kid is so beautifully shown that the exposure of the lie comes as a shock.

Suggestions
Grammatically, I don't have any suggestion for the story. It's perfectly written and has a sound line. But, despite of everything being fine, I didn't enjoy the beginning as much. It felt a bit dragging. I don't know how to make it right, but that's what I felt when I read the start.

Ending Suggestions
Accepting mistakes is not an easy thing, and your story nicely captures that zeal to defend ourselves and our choices. Many a times even I have done something similar.

Thank you for sharing this story.

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **


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60
60
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey, Lynda Miller . I found this item in auto-rewards list, and the title caught my eye. So, here I am with a review. Please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.

Message Conveyed
The articles talk about lighthouses and how they came into picture. What I found more interesting is the early life of keeper of these light house. I sometime wish to live in a lighthouse- surrounded by waves from all side. This sounds like such an isolated job that it is almost meditative. Though article does tell me that their life was hard, I still have that illusion of a peaceful job. *Blush*

Suggestions
Grammatically the article is very well done. There are some slight issue of formatting, but that's mainly because of WritingML.

Parting Thoughts
I remember reading about ancient, modern and medieval seven wonders, but that was so long ago that I had almost forgotten it. Thanks a lot for refreshing my memory and sharing this article.

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **



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61
61
Review of Greed  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey John Nation . I found this story in Auto-Reward item list and thought will drop by with a review. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

*Clapper* Plot *Clapper*

A very rich old man discovers that he's dying and his family waits for the will to be read. The story is interesting specially the end. Throughout the beginning speech, I was wondering what is that old man going to do, and you did show it very well.

*Person* Character *Person*

Two sons, the wife and the dying man are shown. All are shown as greedy people including your main protagonist as well.

*City* Setting *City*

Modern day and the current period.

*Bookstack* Description *Bookstack*

Although the story shows many things, I felt it lacking in the dying man's description. Throughout his impassioned speech where in he counts the faults of everyone, there is nothing which shows that he's suffering or dying-- no coughs, no wheezing breath, no slurred words. In fact we never got to know how he died or how he lived. Although everything is not important, small details add to the beauty of the story by making them more real and that is what I wished the story to have more.

*Magnify* Language and Grammar *Magnify*

The story is quite well-edited. I just have three minor suggestions:

*Penr* between you and your brother and your Mom. - I feel the first "and" can be omitted here. The sentence will sound more smoother.

a dozen countries from going bankrupt with all she spends. She has dozens of furs - The repetition of "dozens" stand out here.

and under the different names you tried to hide them under- Similarly, two "under"s sound a bit confusing. But it can be a different style of speaking and reading as well because I'm an ESL speaker.

*Gold* Favorites and Not-so-favorites *Gold*

I loved the idea of the rocket which was fabulous. I didn't like the part where the faults are pointed out. It felt too dry and artificial, especially for a dying man.

*Thought2* Other thoughts and Suggestions *Thought2*

It's a very interesting story, the kind which I enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to review it.

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **


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62
62
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey, Ben Garrick .

I saw this poem in auto-rewards item and thought to drop by with the review.

Initial Impression
The message conveyed by the poem is of the love growing bitter with time. The lines that you have used shows that message clearly.

Language, structure and rhythm
This is where the poem starts losing out its charm for me. I am not brief poems (I absolutely adore Haiku!), but howsoever brief the poem should have the capability of transporting me somewhere-- either in rhythm or language. But this poem does neither for me. It felt like the lines written together which do make meaning, but doesn't feel like a poem. Besides the usage of word "Love" used thrice in such few lines felt disruptive.

Favorites and Non- Favorites
I enjoyed the first line the most. The repeated "o" gives the much needed gentility to that line.

Final Thoughts
This poem could have been much better, but then, poetry is quite subjective topic. What works for others might not work for me or vice-versa. Thanks a lot for allowing me to read and review it.

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **


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63
63
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey Kate - Writing & Reading We at WPR are celebrating the items created in 2007. This story's title caught my eyes and here I am with a review. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

*Clapper* Plot *Clapper*

The story is about a little girl whose birthday party is forgone because of some wedding party. Aptly titled as the autobiography, this little diary entry gives us the glimpse of her bittersweet life completely.

*Person* Character *Person*

Kate as a little girl is a beautiful character. She is an optimist and easily let the happy things of her life take over the bad things happening around her.

*City* Setting *City*

The setting is not clearly shown here, but as a diary entry, it's okay to not show that in detail.

*Bookstack* Description *Bookstack*

Perfect! The beginning part about curling the hair to hide the bruise, the little detail about how her brother got a party and she didn't and her dreams of going far away planet-- each added a stroke to the character of Kate you were painting.

*Magnify* Language and Grammar *Magnify*

I didn't find any error in the story.

*Gold* Favorites and Not-so-favorites *Gold*

I loved the beginning paragraph which showed the problems she was facing at her home and the end which shows what she does dream and want to dream. They make a nice contrast.

*Thought2* Other thoughts and Suggestions *Thought2*

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing it.
A shared group image


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64
64
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hey, Maryann. Happy Seven years for WDC Power Reviewers. I thought I should start from here with the raid review.

What WDC Power Reviewer Means to me
I'll start by telling you about what the group means to me. This was my first group in WDC. When I actually started being active on WDC, I figured out that since I am focusing on reviewing, why not earn some GPs through it. I won't say my reviews were excellent, but I did my best at that time. I was not even sure whether you'll select me or not. So I sat biting my nails and waiting for the response to my request. I was almost dancing when I received the response.

As I reviewed and the captains credited my reviews, I was gently taught and corrected. Joy and Jim were most helpful and so was Ember and Jo. When the Nano time rolled on, I could only talk to these two because they were the only known people to me in the Nano groups.

So, the group gave me my first acceptance, my first friends, and my initial reviews too.

Highlights of the group

*Star* Easy acceptance.
*Star* Raid activities. I absolutely love raids, the energy needed for the reviews, the love that is spread and the themes that you come up with.
*Star* Captains' way of steering the reviews towards the right direction.
*Star* Friendships, of course.
*Star* Member List options for getting the review.
*Star* Recognization and reward for even the smallest review.
*Star* Easy camaraderie between the captains, Sr. Captains and Founders.

What I do not Like
*Exclaimr* Absence of a survey form for joining. I know you people reply promptly, but filling the survey form is like a formal application thing. Besides it is less awkward than sending the mail to strangers.

What I wish for
*Thought* Group only contests- I know they had been there once because I see them in the list, but I wish there could be more of those contests.

Final Words
I might be a captain and a yellow author now, but I'll never forget that this was the place where I started from.

Thank you for giving me my first home!

time warp
65
65
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey, Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk . I found this item in "I Write in June-July-August " . Please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.


Initial Impressions
I always feel jealous of the people with traditions. I am not sure that I would have followed any tradition; it's just that we don't have any tradition to follow including names. The piece clearly explains the tradition and the reason why you think the tradition should not be followed in your case. I whole heartedly agree with you. If your wife wants to give some part of her heritage in the child's name, then you definitely should take the deviation from the tradition.

Suggestions
The piece flows well and is quite well edited. I didn't find any mistakes.

Final Impressions
I am not sure about American society, but Indian society tends to get rigid about many rituals and traditions. But my mom always told us that the traditions are made for the people; people are not made for traditions. Your wife is a lucky to have a guy like you. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing this with us.

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **


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66
66
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey Christine .This review is part of the gift basket that Rhonda bought for you from "Invalid Item"  with the message 'Christine, just a little something to say Thank-you so much for all you have done for me. You have been a wonderful mentor, and an even better friend. You are the most compassionate, kind, caring and thoughtful person I have the honour of knowing. Thank-you for being my dear, sweet, beautiful friend and most of all for being you! ((HUGS)) & *Heart* xo with Love, Rhonda.Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

*Clapper* Plot *Clapper*

I remember this prompt. I had tried to write something, and what had come out of it was gibberish. *Blush*

You masterfully created the story using Ovid's poem as a reason. The plot flowed beautifully and it showed the past, present and future all in just 3k words. The only complaint I have was that the romance of the story was not palpable from Theresa's side. A decade with him, and not even once she dared to see him as a man for her. Apart from this, there was nothing else which bothered me in the story.

*Person* Character *Person*

Both Theresa and Julius are nicely portrayed. I like the idea of girl taking the garb of men to go and study in Oxford. It showed the intelligence and cleverness of Theresa. Julius is shown as dissolute, yet observant and a patient man-- like many other Earls storied in that time, although I must say that the ten years of patience is quite A LOT. Even after a decade he decided to marry her because she was going to leave. That was something which didn't appeal to me.

*Bookstack* Description *Bookstack*

As usual the descriptions are well-woven in the story. There was only one place where I stumbled. The story mentions It was 1773. The way this is mentioned sounded a bit weird. It is written in Theresa's POV, but only a person from future can think about why it was difficult for Theresa to show her femininity in that year. A person born and brought up in 1773 itself wouldn't have any idea what could be different in future years.

*Magnify* Language and Grammar *Magnify*

The chapter is well-edited except for the end periods. Few of my suggestions are marked in the dropnote below. But there are many other places where the end period of the sentence is missed, especially just before the start of a new paragraph or at the end of the quotes. These are not marked in below, but I'm sure you'll able to find them easily in the next read.

Detailed Edit Points ▼

*Gold* Favorites and Not-so-favorites *Gold*

I loved the idea of Oxford going female. Also historical romance is my favorite, this story was fun to read. I didn't like the absence of awareness about the Hero in Theresa's part.

*Thought2* Other thoughts and Suggestions *Thought2*

I love the way you write stories. Have you noticed almost all your stories have the reference of "surrender"? I am starting to think that it is your favorite word. You definitely need to write a story which is not about surrender. *Laugh*

Thank you for sharing this story.

Keep Writing!

** Image ID #1920904 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
67
67
In affiliation with P.E.N.C.I.L.  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Piece Reviewed - "Them-2 - Chapter 17" 
Hey Oldwarrior . I am here with the next review on behalf of "P.E.N.C.I.L." . Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

*Clapper* Plot *Clapper*

The story continues to show impact of ants on another set of characters. This time ants have been seen in Capitol city. The chapter shows Joey's struggle to come to term with the reality and bring his charges to the secure place.

*Person* Character *Person*

Joey is the main character here, and like all the official, he is shown as a respectable person who values his duty and life of his charges.

*Bookstack* Description *Bookstack*

Nicely done. I enjoyed the way you showed the reaction to the news and the age of Senator's daughter.

*Magnify* Language and Grammar *Magnify*

The chapter is very nicely-edited. A few minor things I noted are marked below:

*Penr* “You’re sure this ain’t the Science Fiction channel?” Questioned another officer.- Q should not be capitalized as it is the speech tag after the quotes.

There’s also hundreds of paratroopers trapped in the mall there from the 101st Airborne Division.” - The word should be "there're" instead of "there's".

*Penr* “We have to drop by the high school and pick up our daughters.” - Since only the mother is present shouldn't it be my daughters?

*Penr* “Have terrorist’s attacked?” - The right word will be "terrorists".


*Gold* Favorites and Not-so-favorites *Gold*

My favorite as I mentioned above was the reaction to the news. The mention of Hollywood and Science fiction made the scene completely believable for me.

*Thought2* Other thoughts and Suggestions *Thought2*

I am wondering now how will you merge all these characters? There is still that pastor from the previous chapter who is yet to appear. What will happen to these families? Is there any place left where they'll be safe.

** Image ID #1920904 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
68
68
In affiliation with P.E.N.C.I.L.  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Piece Reviewed - "Them-2 - Chapter 16" 
Hey Oldwarrior . I am here with the review on behalf of "P.E.N.C.I.L." . I apologize for the long delay in the novel review, but I was otherwise held up. *Blush* I will try to finish the novel by the end of the month. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

*Clapper* Plot *Clapper*

The chapter becomes extremely interesting as the terror of ants increase. The number of ants has increased by thousandfolds, and the military is trying to contain them. I enjoyed the chapter, but only one thing confused me. Tappy said that the ants might be even in Europe, which was a bit incredible to me as the secondary cave system should extend there. How will they cross the oceans? Apart from that story flew well.

*Person* Character *Person*

This chapter belong to the Agents and Tappy. As Agent took charge of the situations, and Tappy ran the simulation, their sense of responsibility is shown more.

*Bookstack* Description *Bookstack*

The description in the chapter are sufficient enough for the chapter.

*Magnify* Language and Grammar *Magnify*

The chapter is quite well-edited. I just found few minor errors which I have highlighted below:

*Penr* “That was two old friends on an island off the coast of France.”- It should be "were" instead of "was".

We have been told that a woman and her child was rescued - It should be were rescued.


“Acknowledged,’ There should be double quotes here instead of single quotes.

even several early school busses- The right spelling is buses

*Gold* Favorites and Not-so-favorites *Gold*

I loved the scene when the mall is barricaded by Bradleys. It was exciting to read about.

*Thought2* Other thoughts and Suggestions *Thought2*

I wonder how will they kill the ants now when they are directly attacking the scientist and agents. Will the heroes die or not? I will move on to the next chapter with these thoughts.

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Review of Dreams Realized  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, 💙 Carly . I am here on behalf of Hightower to review this item of yours. Please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.

*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
First Impression

*Smile* What a cute love story! I loved every moment in the story. Helena has just returned to her hometown and meets old crush of hers. The story shows kindling of the romance between them. I enjoyed the way you handled this long stories. Every scene was broken up properly. There was only one point which confused me:

Helena says: "Ryan's back." which was something I didn't get. It is possible that it was because of ESL effect, but that sentence confused me.


*Snow1**Tear* *Snow1*
Language, grammar and form

There is one thing you need to check in the story. First of , you have used period before speech tags. Example:
1) “I have an interview.” She blurted, feeling instantly embarrassed A comma shall be there in place of a period.
2) "Mrs. Hamilton." She said in way of greeting. this also should be a comma after Mrs. Hamilton.
There are many such examples there. Please crosscheck. Refer to link   for more details.

I also have two minor observations:

1) hard ship as she had anticipated Hardship is a single word.

2) Ryan took his chance This is not a mistake as such, but you changed the POV from Helena to Ryan here. So it is something you need to crosscheck.

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

I loved the whole story and HEA feel it gave me.

*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
Other thoughts and suggestions

I must tell you that the names of Ryan and Raelynn sounded too similar to me. Again it can be ESL impact, but it's better to tell than not tell, right.

Thank you for sharing this interesting tale with me. Keep Writing!

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey, Whiskerfacebythefireplace . Thank you for your entry in "Words with Wings" . I am here with the review of your poem as the judge of the contest. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

Initial Impression
*Laugh* *Laugh* *Laugh*
How nicely you summed up all the noises we hear and yet we are so used to them that we don't consider them noise. I loved the reason you explained for starting the brass band.

Suggestions
No suggestions.

Final Thoughts
You write quite good children's poem. Your humor is spot on, and the poem have that ease and music to appease a child's mind. *Delight*

Thank you for sharing this poem.

Keep Writing! *Thumbsup*

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Review of Helen and Kalena  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey, Elena . Thank you for your entry to "Words with Wings" . I apologize for the delay in judging this round of the contest. *Blush* Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

Initial Thoughts
The story talks about the sibling jealousy when one of them is suffering from Leukemia. The story showed well how a child feels when all the attention is diverted away from them. I felt the pain and difficulty of Kalena's, especially when she started finding herself the reason for Helen's illness. I almost felt like hugging the character after reading it.

Suggestions
*Penr* One thing I didn't enjoy in the story was the use of "had" in many places. It gives a kind of narrative taste to the story despite the fact that it is not a narrative story. I would suggest you to cut down those "had"s to give the story a better look.

*Penr* 3 days: Three should be written in words.

*Penr* The word "pretty" is repeated very close-by in one paragraph. It distracts from the story.

Final Thoughts
As you have dedicated this story to someone, I am assuming the parts of this story are true. If so, I hope the person you lost is at peace now. Thank you for sharing it. Keep Writing!


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Review of Revelations  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey, LJB . Thank you for your entry to "Words with Wings" . I apologize for the delay in judging the round. My real life has been a mess for past few days. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

Initial Impressions
This story is about a mother who is not able to accept the true nature of her children. Her son takes charge and reminds her that the illusions she has built around her children are not true.

Although the story carries quite a heartfelt message, I was a bit confused. Nothing much is explained about Danny and Marcy. They just make appearance in the dialogue as if the readers already know them. And they vanish that easily too. I would have liked to know about both of them a little bit in detail. This would have made a connection for me towards the mother's guilt.

Suggestions

*Pencil* "Marcia Right turned her red The quotes are not needed here.

*Pencil* but it true and you knew about him - The word "is" is missed here.

Final Thoughts

The story represent the state of many parents who close their eyes to their children's unique qualities, hoping that they will grow out of it. But then what these kids need is the acceptance and support. the message does come out well, but the story could do better with a little more descriptions about the characters to invest readers more in the story.

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **



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Review of Finally  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey, A*Monaing*Faith . I found your item in "I Write Romantic in Winter" . Please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner:

Plot
A very interesting take on the prompt. Two people who don't know if they are physically compatible or not decide to check it via kiss. The only problem with this kind of story is that you've to take a paragraph to explain the background. This eats up the lot of the words. I would have liked it better if that para was merged in the conversation in such a manner that it seems natural, not like something is told.

Characters
Mavrik seem like a player who likes to play with people, while Anna seemed like a ugly duckling turned into swan. I haven't read the previous installments, but this episode made me feel so.

Grammar
Look out for those apostrophes. I am guessing that you uploaded this as a word file. So, please read through it again and check those issues out.

Favorites
I loved aggressiveness of Anna and the way she took the lead to explore the physical compatibility through the kiss.

Other thoughts and Suggestions
This could have been better if the kiss could be focused on more, but otherwise it's an interesting take on the prompt.

Thanks for sharing it.

Keep Writing! *Thumbsup*

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Review of Angel with a Cart  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, Yellow Rose . Thank you for your entry to "Words with Wings" . I am one of the judges of the contest. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
Imagery Created

The poem talks about a fifteen year old girl who left her house after a fight with her parents, but then once alone, she felt afraid and quite alone. She was helped by a stray woman with the shopping cart who lent her the advice and the money.

I've never seen a story told in only 12 lines, but I must say that I could guess the past and the future quite well with the poem. This is a knack very few poems have-- to tell what is behind and ahead the lines.


*Snow1**Tear* *Snow1*
Language, grammar and form

The poem follows a-a rhyming scheme except in the first stanza. You missed the rhyme there or was it intended like this? Anyhow, it didn't distract much while reading. There are few minor mistakes that need to corrected in the poem:
*Penr* The phrase friends house needs an apostrophe in friends(friend's house).
*Penr* I am not sure about this suggestion, but I think who she might meet should actually be whom she might meet. I will try and ask around to confirm this to you because I can't find a single rule substantiating it, except that gut feeling which might be wrong too. *Rolleyes*
*Penr* Nowhere is written as a single word and not as no where.

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Punctuation

No punctuation used!

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Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

I loved the second stanza the most because it helped me visualize what she was feeling. I wished that more of her fear was shown instead of being told, but then it's the poet's prerogative.

*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
Other thoughts and suggestions

I enjoyed reading the poem. It has the rhymes and story both. The only suggestion I'd like to insert here is to add more of show of emotions. Otherwise, it's an inspiring and beautiful poem.

Thanks for sharing it. Keep Writing! *Thumbsup*

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Review of Ski Time  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, JustAdam40 . Thank you for your entry to "Words with Wings" . I am one of the judges of the contest. Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
Imagery Created

The poem portrays a father's joy as his son takes his first ride on the ski. It captures the excitement of the child and the proud of the parent quite well in so few lines. There was only one place where I got sidetracked:
My son, looks at me,
and says, "this is my dad."
The sentence is not wrong, but somehow it gave me an illusion that the son was calling instructor the dad. I had to read it twice to understand, "Oh, it's what father's telling us." Maybe it's just me, but even after reading twice the sentence felt a bit confusing to me.


*Snow1**Tear* *Snow1*
Language, grammar and form

The poem follows a-b-c-b rhyme scheme. The words you have chosen for rhymes flow quite well, except for one place. "Dad" and "Hand" don't really rhyme. Other than that, the word choice and grammar you've followed is quite well-done.

*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
Punctuation

Perfect! *Thumbsup*

*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

I adored the first stanza of the poem. I could only sigh as I saw the day through your eyes. I also enjoyed the rhyme of "pack in" and "jacket" which made me smile.

As you must have already inferred, I didn't like the "instructor" stanza.

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Other thoughts and suggestions

I have never skied myself, but I could feel the happiness and contentment the poem radiated.

Thank you for sharing it.

Keep Writing! *Thumbsup*

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