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55 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love this. It's like looking inside the mind of a thirty something woman having teenage giggly feelings. Evidently this woman has had past relationships that didn't go so well and has learned and gained wisdom with time and age. LOL... feels like me.
I like the way you have described the feelings and thoughts. I could feel her excitement and at the same time, caution.
Very nicely done...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Kalany
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very well said. I have been a member since 2008 and just upgraded to the premium membership. I LOVE this site and used information from this site as I taught middle school special education students (I was teaching language arts at the time), and that was when I was on a FREE membership. I am now writing a children's book that I hope to publish one day so I up'd my membership for extra "bells and whistles." Don't let the unappreciative souls out there get you down. This is an AWESOME site whether you are a casual "Free" member or a more committed "Paid" member. Write On!!!
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Review of Our Escape  
Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very sweet poem. The rhythm and rhyme make it very pleasant to read. Mechanics aside, the story itself is like a "comfort food" in a poem. It gave me "warm fuzzy" feelings as I read it. I had that when I lived in Texas by myself. I loved my little home. Now I dream about those feelings again as I am a caretaker in my mother's home. The hectic races has moved into the walls where I abide. In it's own way, however, it is still my cozy little home. Very nicely written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (4.0)
My First Thoughts: I love reading about animals and their life and activities so I was interested from the start. I was not disappointed...

My favorite Part: My favorite part were actually seen through-out the story. I enjoyed the description of the different animals you encountered and the setting in which you observed them. You painted a picture in the reader's mind of what you were seeing and feeling.

Final Thoughts or Suggestions:
Very nicely done. These memories will now be around for you to share with family and friends for generations. Keep on writing about your experiences. You will be glad you did!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Complicated  
Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is absolutely awesome! I laughed so hard and then read it to my 81 year old mother and she laughed so hard she nearly wet herself. Very well done. I can almost see everything happening in slow motion like a "Matrix" move. You did an awesome job of the description and showing the wife, trying not to laugh and the husband feeling embarrassed. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Goodbye  
Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a very nice poem on moving on. I like the rhythm and rhyme. The one suggestion I might make is in the 4th line. The rhythm is a little forced. If you change it from ... your abilities have a wide range; to ...your abilities are wide ranged, or ...your abilities, wide ranged...
I think the word "change" in the previous line should be "changed" and a simple typo in the last line... "you"
I really love the poem and the sentiment it brings. The changes are simply my point of view and just a suggestion. Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Kalany
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Interesting story but a little hard to follow at times. I understand by about half way through the story what is probably going on, which is good, but the banter between the "patients" was just a little hard to follow at times. Did this story have a 300 word limit? If so, that would make sense. If not, a little more detail near the beginning might help a bit.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Rush  
Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like this story but I had a little difficulty keeping the "he" straight. When "he" referred to the "lovers" and when "he" was referring to the husband. After reading it a couple of times it made sense. Maybe that was the intent. It was a nicely done story, especially for a "quicky"... lol


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Your arms  
Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love this poem!!! I have felt that way myself with a very good friend. It describes very well how many women, or men for that matter, feel in the arms of a very close friend or partner/lover. You have captured the feeling very well. I also like the repetition of the phrase "When I am in your arms". Very nicely written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Unfinished  
Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very interesting story starter. You have done a good job of setting up the beginning of a story and the anticipation and suspense your have built in the narrator lead to many, many different directions this story could go. I really like that. The mysterious man could be a blind date, a biological family member newly found, an underworld character she is meeting for something sinister and she is having second thoughts about going through with it... The possibilities are endless. Nicely done.
One thing I did notice, in the third and last paragraphs you used the word "sat" when it should have been "sitting".
Overall, very interesting piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Lion's Roar  
Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (4.0)
You posted this as non-fiction. Was this a personal experience or one that had been told to you? It was nicely written. The was you described the man's fear was good. I could feel the suspense building through the story. Your closing paragraph was good to as it ties up the entire story with how the incident impacted the main character's life afterwards. Good job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you! I had been having a very hard time setting up my signature. Several people had given me instructions but they weren't coming out right. I am techie so this was driving me crazy. Your step by step directions worked perfectly! I hope it looks good in emails and posts to.

Thanks again for the help!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Kalany
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I am so very sorry that you had to go through all that from such an early age. I was a teacher for 20 years and a Foster parent for 5 of those years. I understand your pain as I counseled and helped several teenage boys deal with the hurts of the Foster care system. Several, as adults, still call me mom. I am sure writing this was therapeutic for you but also painful as you remember the things you went through. I would recommend that you go back to this piece and expand on each event as you are able. Read it out loud to yourself reading each sentence one at a time. I do this with my own writing and find many sentences that didn't come out quite the way I wanted them to. This is the kind of story that can be very helpful to others that are going through similar circumstances. Details on what you were thinking and how you came to the decisions you did may help other Foster kids get through life without making the mistakes you might have made.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Kalany
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Its a very interesting story. I know we are just getting to really meet the characters and as I continued to read I began to get a feeling of their personalities. That is very good. What I am wondering, though, is where the plot is going. Is there a problem or goal that these characters are trying to accomplish and who are the protagonists and antagonists? I do see that Joan is getting into a very precarious situation with her boy toys with them all so closely linked through work. That may become an interesting plot twist.
The grammar and syntax is very good and it is a good beginning.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Big Sister  
Review by Kalany
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I liked this story very much. It caught my attention from the beginning and held it all the way to the end. I also liked the way you added the last couple of sentences to wrap it up and leave the reader thinking and wondering. It let the reader's imagination run wild. Very nice job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Kalany
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is a very good story, I really liked the double twist at the end. I was sort of expecting the first one but not the last one... lol. The only recommendation I have is that you go back and re-read it for grammar errors. When I write a long piece like this one I tend to get tired near the end and rush the ending. I also have a tendency to make many more grammar errors closer to the end. I think I am just excited for the ending and get a little careless. Then when I am done I just brush my hands together and it's done. Of course, that is just me but... Just look it over again carefully, especially near the end.
Again, very good story!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Meeting at dawn  
Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a nicely written piece. I think I might have wanted a little more details when you looked for and found the manuscript. The narrator scanning it and wondering what it was. That would make the "light bulb" go off when Gone With the Wind was on that night. Besides that, I really liked the way this short story flowed. Good job!!!
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Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is very helpful. I do have a question. Can any image I have like pictures saved on my computer, be turned into a signature? If so, how?
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Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (2.5)
Cute... You need to read each of your couplets out loud to make sure the rhymes are true and the cadence is solid. There should be the same number of syllables in both lines of a couplet. A few of the rhymes are a bit of a stretch though. Check on those to see if they are truly necessary for the poem. If they are, tweak the rhyme. It has lots of potential...

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item.
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Review of Gutter Rainbow  
Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (2.5)
This could be a good story but it does need work. Though there is a place for setting the scene with description so the reader can see what you see, you need to be careful you don't get carried away. You have many sentences that are far too long and border on run-ons. If it was my story, I would cut many of the sentences way down in length, Choose only the descriptions that are essential to the plot so the reader doesn't get bored and put it down.
This paragraph, "She opened the door and ushered him inside. The house remained, some new furniture in the foyer, a lamp here a shelf there, and her paintings had doubled in number, but the record player still laid in the living room, the jukebox aged, covered in a layer of dust. The book shelves filled with upturned and dog-eared literary volumes. Steinbeck lay open next to a volume of plays by Samuel Beckett, the room smelled stale of memories, and the dying lilies rested in a vase of browning water upon the end table." is truely a bit awkward. Though I know what you were trying to say, it didn't come out as you meant it to be.
As I said in the beginning, this is a good story with a good plot (and one I can relate to a little too well). Work on it a bit... It has potential.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item.
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Review of Career Day  
Review by Kalany
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Ok, that was really cute. I think I would have liked to see a few more questions and answers from the kids. You could have gone a little further with the humor there. In life, kids will ask just about anything without shame. There is a lot more humor there just waiting to be had. Gramps could also mess with the boyfriend a little before he leaves.
Overall it was good though. Keep on writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item.
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Review by Kalany
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a GREAT beginning. It really kept me captivated all the way through and that is a really good sign. It has very minor grammar errors, but it is a work in progress, so that is to be expected. (Mine has several grammar and spelling errors that I have to go back and fix) You have incredible talent for someone so young. You definitely have a future in writing and I can see you going very far! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! I can't wait to see what happens next...
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Review by Kalany
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved your story. Your life seems to have been very much like my own. I had the "untouchable" ornaments on the top of my tree growing up as well. Mine were handmade by an older half-brother and they were made of real egg shells that had been hollowed out and decorated... They are now on my tree. Thank you for sharing your wonderful memories.
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Review of The Refuge  
Review by Kalany
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
WOW! that is all I can say is WOW! I was totally drawn in by your story. Is it based on a real life incident or totally fiction? I love lighthouses and that is what originally drew mw to your story. It is really great.
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Review by Kalany
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
This was "interesting" to say the least. For me, it jumped around to much. It was hard to follow. Once I seemed to know where your "train of thought" was going, it jumped the track. You could use the ideas in this story and transistion the "flash backs" and random thoughts better to keep you r readers from getting lost.
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