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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lejendpoet
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97 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Humble Pi  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent! What a fun ode to my favorite irrational number!
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (5.0)
That was fun! And I learned stuff about birthday cakes I never knew.
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (4.5)
The word search was refreshingly fun. Some of the words gave my eyes and brain a bit of exercise. Thanks!
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Just amazing. Your words stole my breath until the very end. I found nothing amiss with the words you weaved, entrancing me throughout. Well done indeed. Happy writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I loved it! Full of wit and humor, rhyme seemed perfect and meter was pretty much on as well. Well done! what a fun little poem!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Firstly, Happy WDC Anniversary this month! Now, on to the review, thank you for writing this! It hit so close to home. I also suffer with chronic pain, as well as a number of autoimmune diseases. It was like I was almost reading a page out of the book on my life. Very well written, you pulled me in and kept me there to the end. Stay strong and I hope you do find better days. Keep writing, you are quite an able writer!

LeJenD'
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Review of FRIENDS  
Review by Just LeJenD'
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings! I am reviewing your short story as part of a review prompt for the Week 4 August MHWA Challenge. Please be advised that the comments I write in this review are solely my opinion.

Theme/Subject Matter: Friendship, Friends

Originality/Creativity:
To write this in article form was an interesting choice which worked well for the piece and subject matter.

Emotion/Impact:
I was left with the feeling that you know exactly what friends and friendship are all about. I also was left with the feeling that you know, probably from experience, about those "friends" who use and abuse a friendship until the trust between friends has been lost.

My Favorite Part:
"A true friend and pal is the one who appreciates your efforts and helps you to become best version of yourself, and accepts you with all your faults." - You hit the nail right on the head with this line and I agree wholeheartedly. I also like the sentence, "Friends who care about you are the most precious gift which God has bestowed upon us.", but know that while they are precious, our most precious gift (in my opinion) is the gift of our own lives, followed closely by the lives of our loved ones and friends.

My Suggestions:
- Check your punctuation and word spacing. The way it is written, seems that everything is a mashed together.
- You also might try indenting the first line of your paragraph.
- Another little hint: Don’t use can not when you mean cannot. The only time you’re likely to see can not written as separate words is when the word “can” happens to precede some other phrase that happens to start with “not” (eg. We can not only break even, but also turn a profit.) - Because of these little technical difficulties, I am giving you 4 stars.

Summary:
I like and appreciate the idea concerning friends which you are trying to convey here. I agree that true friends accept you for who you are, flaws and all. Just a little work on the punctuation, etc. and this piece would be worth 5 full stars.

Need support?? Join the "Mental Health Writers Alliance" group: "Survey to Join MHWA"

LeJenD'Poet - Unapologetically ME.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Just LeJenD'
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! As part of the MHWA Week 2 Challenge, I have chosen to review this item from your port.

Theme/Subject Matter: Miscommunication/lack of communication

Originality/Creativity: This was a fun unique way to approach our given creative writing prompt. I like the idea of writing it as a fake news report.

Emotion/Impact: This hits home for me, as I have been this person from time to time. While putting it in the form of a fake news report lessens the pain, what it does is looks at reclusive behavior from the outside and touches on how it can affect others around.

My Favorite Part: Clara's parents still attempt to reach her every day. To me this shows that even when you have tried to block everyone from your life, those who truly care will still be there and still be trying to show you they love you and make sure you are okay.

My Suggestions: I don't really have any suggestions. I like your piece as-is.

Summary: Thank you for writing this piece in such a way as to look at this from an outsider's view. It helps put into perspective a little more what is happening when we ostracize ourselves from the world due to our mental problems.

Keep Writing! - Jenn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very nice piece. My favorite parts: "l walk among screaming mass and cringe.
For all the guitar squeals in music’s name" and "I hear that some folks like these modern boys
But all I hear is loud obnoxious noise."- my husband and I converse about this new "music" often. At least we live in an age where we CAN binge on the classics instead of suffering through the new stuff. You have an amazing voice through your poetry. The world needs more writers like you. Thanks for the read!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Where did she go?  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a trip down memory lane for me. My great-grandfather could easily have been the subject of your poem. As a child, I watched him and my great grandmother wither away, he more slowly than she due to the Alzheimer's. After she passed, it was like he gave up. The only memories he had left were of fishing, so that's what he did in his mind until he too passed. Thank you for the feels.
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is beautiful and shows a parent's unyielding love for their children. Perhaps that wayward soul will find her way back home. Much love. - Jenn
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Review of Invincible  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great poem. Flow and tempo worked well with your rhyme scheme as well. Reading this, I could remember back to my youth - of ignorance and invincibility. If only we could be invincible forever... But, resignedly we have to admit that death will come knocking at our door. Thank you! Keep writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I have to say, I was left with the desire to read more - and hopefully, I will get to. I enjoy Yugi-oh and it was fun to read a story based on the game and shows. I like how your main character Joan was written to be a strong independent woman; how you left adult Mokuba to be the sweet innocent. I also appreciated that your character set was so open-minded and showed a variety of relationship preferences. There are not too many stories out there which show how some people can make a polyamorous lifestyle work; and you delved into a bit of why some of your characters choose this type of relationship (ie, Seto and Joan).
There was a line when Seto first entered ( Chapter2, line 2)which kept nagging at my brain, "He turned to his suited bodyguard with dark glasses and a thin mustache." The way it is written seems a bit confusing, Seto could be the one with dark glasses and a thin mustache. Maybe break it into two sentences - something like "His bodyguard, Roland, was standing next to him in a suit, dark glasses, and a thin mustache. Seto turned to him." There are also some other areas which could be expanded upon but work well enough as they are.
All in all, this was a fun, enjoyable fan fiction read. Thank you for the opportunity to review it for you. I'd love to read more if you decide to write more chapters. Great job! Keep writing!
- LeJenD


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of 68 Minutes  
Review by Just LeJenD'
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Awarenessg**Awarenessg* May is Mental Health Awareness Month *Awarenessg**Awarenessg*
Do you have any mental health items in your port? Fill this out for a review:
 
SURVEY
Mental Health Review Form  (E)
National Mental Health Awareness Month hosted by MHWA. Would YOU like a review?
#2188408 by Charlie ~ Updated Blog


*Heartg* Theme/Subject Matter:Abuse, possibly neglect

*Heartt* Originality/Creativity: This is written from the viewpoint of a bystander who is afraid of taking a stand against their peers and the abuse he/she sees going on. I like how you wrote in a way that shows how the bystander is affected by the experience and inwardly tries to deal with the issue of speaking up while outwardly following the crowd.

*Heartg* Emotion/Impact: Emotional impact was spot-on for me. I was that bystander in junior high school. Your words show how the bystander understands that their words won't be listened to when trying to help. It also hints that they know their own actions could, and probably should, be different.

*Heartt* My Favorite Part:

"I know that his small bruises
will all heal with time
but the wounds that I have witnessed
will last OUR whole lifetime."
This definitely sums up the feeling of the poem. It also shows how we can learn and grow from our own mistakes or missed chances to do something good for someone.

*Heartg* My Suggestions: The third stanza seemed to snag the flow of the poem in my opinion. The second line of that stanza just seemed to be missing the tempo of the rest of the poem.

*Heartt* Summary: Empathy is possible, as you show in this poem. The poem also shows how that empathy can affect how someone questions even their own thoughts and actions. Great read! Keep on writing!

Need support?? Join the "Mental Health Writers Alliance group: "Survey to Join MHWA

MHWA Group Sig 1


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Wall  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh wow sweetheart! Your words spoke to this damaged soul. Keep writing from your heart. There are many out there who need to know they aren't the only ones - and your words do that.
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Review of Sakura Waltz  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice flow and beautiful imagery.
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Review of Dear Me in 2007  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Merry meet!
This is review #1 for the PWC port raid contest and boy did I pick a great one to start with! I applaud you in taking the time to write a letter to yourself concerning your goals for the year and what you plan to do to meet those goals. I have been inspired by you to do likewise, so I can see just how far I do come when the wheel of the year finally comes round full circle. Great job and good luck in attaining your goals!
Jenn aka LeJenD'Poet
** Image ID #1194105 Unavailable **
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Review of If I were a...  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (5.0)
Congratulations! You have won 3 reviews in Equilibrium's Review/Raffle Auction (review 2 of 3)

Poem being reviewed: If I Were a...

Rhyme & Flow: Great Job. This flows easily from one line to the next. Rhymes go well and take the reader on to the next line without any hesitation.

Detail: Awesome. Each couplet is full of detail. I could picture each one easily and fully with your chosen words.

Overall: Great job. I loved it all. Keep up the good work and Keep on Writing.
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Review of Fairies  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (4.5)
Poem being reviewed: Fairies

Overall impression of poem: This is a great collection of Haiku poems put together to paint one beautiful picture. Well done.

Form & Technique: You stayed true to the haiku form in each stanza. Syllables correct and meter right on.

My favorites: "Flying through the air
Wings shimmering beautifully
In the dark black night" - because this one is full of detail and paints a picture all on its own

Great Job! -Jen
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such a nice poem. It just goes to show you that even when you don't think anything is getting through to your children and that there must have been something you could have done differently to keep them on the right paths, they actually were listening and do value your worth. This poem is a comfort to moms everywhere.
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is great. I have felt like that on many occassions. You put those feelings into eloquent words - full of honesty and insight
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem made me cry tears of happiness and sadness at the same time. I do not know what I would do if either of my children were to become ill, let alone pass away. This poem/lyric helps a parent see that they should be thankful for their children, even when the child is misbehaving or making messes. Many times, we take our lives for granted and our loved ones' lives for granted as well thinking they will always be there and nothing will ever happen. This helps us to see that unexpected things can and do happen. Thank you for the reminder that each life is precious.
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Review of I Wish  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well done yet again! One glitch in this one maybe two but one I know of for sure.
"your" should be "You're" as you were saying you are instead of using the possessive form of you. in the second stanza, last line.

the one that could possibly need correcting: third stanza, last line "loves" should probably have an apostrophe too as it is the possessive form of love in your useage there.

other than those, it is beautiful and I hope that whomever you wrote this poem for enjoyed it as much as I did.
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Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (4.5)
You sent chills through me with this one. I loved it. It could be a song, you know. Did you write it to be a song? I had the curse of knowing a man like that in my youth. My head is still not right from that one.
The title and pretty much the poem in its entirety is so hauntingly beautiful. You are a great poet. There was only one spot that could use a checking in to though: "ones" should be one's as it is a contraction meaning one is right? This would be a 5 in my opinion with that correction made. (it is so close now as to almost be a fiver anyway)
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Review of Visiting Hours  
Review by Just LeJenD'
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good try so far. There is one line which could use a little help, though.
"I am concentrated only who I am here to see"
maybe say something like.."I am concentrating only on who I am here to see" or "I concentrate only on who I am here to see" since the rest of your poem is in the present tense, this line needs to be as well. Hope this helps you have a perfect poem!
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