After this, I feel like I gotta go to a tree and apologize. Good poem. Especially since it was in the point of view of the tree. even the tree can see how people just rush by and dont enjoy life anymore.
This one hit because I have been there. The words express what phase you are in the relationship. Sadly to say that, if there is no help, it is at the end. The man you miss no longer exist. at least not for you. you miss the old him and dont know the new guy. wish you the best. this kept my interest till the end.
I felt the pain! It hit hard cause I know how this feels. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just turn off those feelings?? Sadly we cannot. Good words, kept my interest. I hope things get better. keep on writing.
From I gather here is that you are trying to find something that these people say is so easy to do. Open up. But everyone is different. Find whatever you are trying to find, something that is in you. Not what others might think it is. if that makes sense? Because what you wrote is good. it kept my interest. and if a single tear rolled down your cheek then that means you care. you just need to find it. that will take time and practice. dont give up
So you get down to explain what Haiku is and what you learned from it and how you used it to help you write. Which I find rather interesting. I, myself, do not how to write poem. But this was interesting. I like how you broke it down on how you learned what it was, to how it is used. Then you used your own personal examples. Overal, educational. I do see this helping those that are in the progress of learning new ways of poetry.
This sounds like me right now. I try to rest but my brain just wont stop thinking. And I think cause I was always on survival mode. So when there is actaul need for rest, by brain does not know what that is. I hope you get the rest you need. This was writen with no issues, from what I can see.
This is a heartwarming story. You may reconsider rereading the story since ther are a few misspells and things that might not make sense. Even though I understood what you were trying to say. Here are some issues I found:
"One sunny afternoon, while Mme." whhat is Mme?
"The coin was truly a rare find, number , and she couldn't wait to add it to her prized collection." Doesnt really make sense to me.
and then after mrs... there is always a new sentence. I am not so sure if that is a mistake or if there is a reason behind it.
I think after these changes the story will run a lot smoother and make better sense.
overall the story was nice and heartwarming.
Very nice poem, something I am unable to do. Mine always come out as vinnettes... I think I spelled that wrong. Anyhow. I liked how it was written, smoothly. I could invision it.
I saw what you were going with it but I would advise to reread it. It is a little difficult to read since it is missing some periods. I believe once those are corrected, the poem should run smoother.
This poem dipicts a time when the writer was happy and innocent.She wishes to go back to the feeling because, somewhere down the line she lost that feeling. It was well writen and represents true pain of a lost emotion. Its there, she just needs to search for it. It's not easy but it is well worth to find it, in order to find peace within herself.
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