I liked this poem. It ran smoothly and it kept my interest till the end. I feel the same, that we are all books in a shelve, just waiting to be picked up and read. To feel understood for the paths that we chose and the mistakes that were made. To feel the happiness within our grasp before it ended so abruptly. Keep on writing.
The beginning of somehting vengeful. The main character just needs to know what exactly she must do to get to her goal. I am assuming that is what the voice is trying to tell her. And it has caught her attention. That does bring interest to the reader.
There are few things that I did see in error, or at least it seems as if there is errors:
Possible 1st error: "I'll answer them--one on condition,"
Is it meant to say "I'll answer them on one condition," ??
Possible 2nd error:
"And when they do, may their descent be swift and painful"
Not sure if this makes sense or if this is my preference. But if their death is swift, there would be no pain? Being killed would be quick and possibly, abrupt. The mind would not be able to function the injury until after, and even then, it would be too late. I would think that you meant " may their descent be slow and painful." Something amoung those lines. This could just be me.
I can sense the anger and pain in this poem. The hurt that comes with the down fall. I've been there and I know that in time things will get better. The words kept me interstested till the end. I do hope you find true happiness. It is out there. For now worry of yourself and heal. keep on writing.
This is sad. I've beem in a similar situation. It hurts and it hurts even more when they are gone. You wish you could have seen the future, so that you could change things. But i guess that is the point in life. to change your ways. if that makes sense. I liked your poem. It ran smoothly and it kept my interest. Keep on writing.
Interesting story. It kept my interest. The only thing is that it ended with really no ending. Is this just the beginning of a story or is this it. Good start. Keep on writing.
This story is really cute. I love cats. It was well writen and it held my attention till the end. However, it was a quick read. it just introduced me to the main character and the cat and how they met. I understand that the cat saved the main character but then it was over. I guess I wanted more. see where it goes. but other then that good job and keep on writing.
This is an interesting poem. I'm not sure if i got it all the way. but the little i did understand, the emoitons are on stage, almost as if they are fighting to be the center of attention. i appreciate the idea. keep on writing.
What a dark and twisted thought. Thinking that the child has a wild imagination, when it was a always a warning. A warning that should have never been ignored.
what i got from this poem is that they are learning how to cook. and even it was bland, at least it was not gross. and there is still potential. you can always add but never take away. you gotta keep on practicing in order to get better. never give up.
well writen story, gets to the point and then leaving it with an onimus ending. Which it makes me believe that, even though he survived, he will always be watched. and that is a scary thought to consider. unless i take it to another approach that his fears are making him create scenarios that will eventually cause him to snap. good job. keep on writing.
what an interesting poem... it reminds me of what i go through everyday. That we chose to be alone and yet wonder if we will ever be alone. Not wanting to believe that it is our decisions that put us in solitude. This is good. keep on writing.
It is very hard to lose someone that you hold so close to your heart. this poem spoke loudly, the pain and sorrow. We will never forget but in time it will get easier to move forward. keep on writing.
interesting poem. just needs some polishing up with the grammer. but other then that, i liked it. reminds me of my early days of life. when i felt like an alien in a body i did not know anything about. growing up faster then what i was. it hits home.
I am not so sure how i really feel about this. the Dr. irked me. if that is what you were going for then you got it. trying to blame the victim is as bad as the person that violated them. I see where it was leading to but felt as though it was just abrutly finished. i understand that this is a contest, but it ended rather bleak.
I liked the story. HOw it flowed, and that made it interesting. here is the thing, i felt as though it finished abrutly, with out any ending. other then that, pretty good.
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