Structure

I really loved this poem because it sends a vibe of deceit through a beauty of it's own. Well done!

Very beautiful and simple. Not over done and quite catchy to the reader. I love nature and there aren't enough poems for me about it. My favorite part of this had to be



Thank you so much for sharing! Keep Writing!
~LL~

I really don't have anything to suggest here. You wrote a poem that is quite real. I believe your wrote it from the heart and how our world has become a cycle of despair.





Thank You for sharing! I enjoyed reading it very much! Keep Writing!

The Title


Grandma's Lamp caught my attention because when it comes to grandmas, well it could be anything.

My First Impression

Very well done with the beginning. Right into it! Of course the mystery of this lamp had me. This story reminded me of a friend I had and she would come to visit her grand mother. We played there a lot and there were so many things I questioned. Looking back it is funny but back then, it creeped me out. I couldn't go into her basement at all. The house was so old. Dark curtains, old old furniture. You get it! So it kind of thrilled me to read this piece.

The Muses That Inspired Me

I enjoyed the twist in the end and it left me to wonder and that is what the other wanted. Great job there! Sometimes a story left to the readers mind are the best kind. Without saying it, you said it. Excellent. Reading this was easy as the format was smooth. Grammar and punctuation were great, or nothing stood out at me. I see why you won! What goes through a kids mind right?


Over All Thoughts

The Title


I loved the title but the intro really grabbed me to read further. Art is life until He is revealed.

My First Impression

So many emotions in this poem. I felt gravitated, inspired, let down, hopeful, dismayed. The use of word choices and conventions really pulled this together for me. I believe it was done with grace and well thought out.

The Muses That Inspired Me

So many muses inspired me here. The voice that was given was excellent. Metaphors, Alliteration, Assonance, simile, punctuation, imagery... all tools that inspire a poet to paint a vivid picture for the reader. It certainly did that for me.


Over All Thoughts

The Title

When I read the title I wasn't quite sure what to expect. The short intro though touched me.

My First Impression

Well to be honest I wanted to be right there. Very prose poetic. That's just my feeling. The writer captures a moment with great descriptive word phrases that enhance poetic conventions.

The Muses That Inspired Me

My favorite sentence here,
And the morning dewdrops desire the rose.


This sentence alone holds so much value. It holds Assonance, metaphor, consonance, caesura, deep image,

As through most of this piece it carries Enjambent, hyperbole, simile

Conventions I Would Suggest


This was a beautiful piece of poetry. The only suggestion I have would be the punctuation. If I could show you

You wrote
I swam sometimes in daybreak, below the white moon -
This phantom heart ever in embrace;
And the morning dewdrops desire the rose.
Dawn seems to breathe out honesty,
I will love the paralyzed devotion and withdrawal.


I only suggest as this is your work

I swam sometimes in daybreak-
below the white moon;
this phantom heart ever in embrace.
And the morning dewdrops desire the rose;
dawn seems to breath out honesty-
I will love the paralyzed devotion 'n withdrawal.

Over All Thoughts

The Title


Ok first of all this resonates with me so much. As I watch my son struggle with loneliness. I had to read and it hooked me.

My First Impression

I loved the visual of this as the writer walks through a crowd. I know exactly how one feels. This is how my son relates to me how he feels. The noises are louder, people are judging, The sweat starts to form. It is a horrible feeling to watch someone struggle this way. It's not the weird guy, it's society that makes them the weird guy. The title speaks volumes without a doubt. I felt the tension through out this entire piece.



The Muses That Inspired Me

So poetry comes from the heart for most, and for others it comes from paying attention to everything around us. Some are gifted in a sense that they can feel other's anguish. I liked the use of free verse in this piece. It flowed well with other uses of conventions that pulled it together. I found the use of Assonance, I would consider this to be Concrete poetry, Consonance, enjambment, nicely done.

Conventions I Would Suggest


As we know free verse does not need a meter count or stanzas, but it should still cover other conventions such as what I wrote and punctuation is quite important. I believe instead of each line holding a comma there should be some pauses. The Caesura is often used as a pause, a breath for the reader. It creates a whole other way of expression. If I could show you what I mean, you can judge for yourself.

You Wrote

Live target in the crowd,
shrinking from the light,
eyes fixed on the ground,
the better not to catch
the hunter’s narrowed gaze,

I Suggest

Live target in the crowd;
shrinking form the light,
eyes fixed on the ground,
the better not to catch-
the hunter's narrowed gaze.

I used an end stop here as otherwise you lose your breath reading. This doesn't make it a stanza, you just carry on as you would through the rest.

Over All Thoughts

The Title


Quite creative names for this couple. I loved the small intro and because it was love, I had to read.

My First Impression

I had a little chuckle about these two. I sense the time period would be some time ago. Then again I could be wrong but that is the vibe I had gotten while reading

The Muses That Inspired Me

The rhyme scheme was well done and well thought out. It held many conventions that really brought the whole poem to life for me. I really enjoyed that they didn't get married but loved each other for who there were. I could tell you enjoyed writing this one very much. There were conventions such as Assonance, common measure, consonance, enjambment,
and many more that made this a delightful read.


Over All Thoughts

The Title


The Title was a gripper for me to read on. It felt like quite an adventure.

My First Impression

I was quite taken by this story. Very well introduction to a main character and her background. You used dialogue very well through out and it held my attention. I felt as though I wanted to read more even at the end of this chapter. Susan has these rings and tickets to seek out the sender of the letter. You left many questions for me which I loved and the strategy you used to mold the past into the present and a questioning future.
I believe Susan to be a very delicate person but with a strong head. She will be a character to reckon with. I just feel that through the read.




Over All Thoughts

There are only a couple of typos and if you re read it carefully you will see them yourself. All in all this quite a story you have started. I can't wait to read more. I believe the time period to be very interesting. All characters so far hold a great role in the future chapters. The rings hold value to the maybe the rising plot.

Thanks for sharing!! Keep Writing! You are on to something!

The Title

I love the title as it really captures the reality of the writer's maundering!

My First Impression

As I read this poem it screams the enormity of every living creature. I believe as humans we haven't been paying attention to such things. Our world seems to be most important. However it is not! The wonders of the world are made of the enormity of all living creatures and their own performance. I wish humans worked as well as the ones such as the coyote chasing the rabbit. They don't question why they do it, is there something better; no they do what they do and keep their world important. Maybe we could learn a little by those that carry on without questioning everything around them. I love the idea of this poem.

The Muses That Inspired Me

I enjoyed the personification used in this poem. This being a free verse poem with out meter or syllable count has value of it's own. A great message.

Conventions I Would Suggest


A couple of things I would suggest but are only suggestions as this is your poem and yours alone.

Every life is
Enormous to itself
No matter how small,

suggestion


Keep in mind that even in free verse we should hold values to some conventions. Punctuation is quite important in free verse in my opinion.

you wrote


I suggest



I suggest changing some wording here as I stumbled in the read. These are just a couple of suggestions to enhance a wonderful voice to the reader.

Over All Thoughts

The Title


This title really drew me into read. Broken Benches is quite a great descriptive piece!

My First Impression

As I read this I really thought of my own home town which I still live but the destruction and lost feeling of "home" has left my very soul. I am not sure if it is caused by neglect of the government or the free for all of the community. There is less and less of pride of where we live. It's very sad indeed.

The Muses That Inspired Me

The writer uses seven line stanzas without a formed syllable line count, yet it flowed very well. The rhyme scheme flowed easily with great word choices to enhance this image. I could smell the ground and see the fall leaves with closed up shops. It took me too memory lane which I enjoyed very much.

Conventions such as in line rhyme, couplet rhymes through stanzas of seven. I enjoyed the tone that set a mood for the reader. Figurative speech was well placed as well. Alliteration, Assonance, concrete poetry creating a visual image of a topic. Well Done


Over All Thoughts

The Title

I love the title and it was a must read.

My First Impression

Although this was a short piece it really captured the history of the poet, his emotions and what he left behind. He really did leave a legacy didn't he and in the English language it has carried on. Inspiring as the the writer describes the solitude in jail and used he poetry to escape. I loved this line very much.

For even in his darkest hour, Publius Ovidius Naso remained true to his calling, and continued to weave the tapestry of his words, one thread at a time.


It is hard to imagine in his situation how he could stay true to his words and keep it going all that time.



Over All Thoughts

The Title


Humans and Romance!! whoa what a topic! After reading this piece I remember my first and what I thought it was, was certainly not.


My First Impression

I enjoyed the innocence of this piece. The writer brings me back to a long time ago that brought back memories but most of all, how one grows. What we think is love at such a young age is an impression that can leave us broken or see ourselves for who we are.

The Muses That Inspired Me

Wouldn't it be lovely that love what just out there for us all? When the writer speaks of The Catholic Faith and that women came from a rib of a man. That to me is a controversy. Were we put on earth to love alone. I don't think so. To reproduce yes, but love was not always there when two people became husband and wife. That is history of course and maybe not in some faiths.

Yes I believe humans crave another for security and love and romance. I do believe that love starts as an attraction and still that doesn't mean there is love.

If you can't love yourself first, you can't give love fully to another. There is a trickle effect to love and how you perceive it.

I wouldn't base love on movies but I agree that young people are left with a false impression of what true love is. There are so many kinds of love and some is toxic and some is true.


Over All Thoughts

The Title


Well the title was intriguing for sure and it drew me in to further read on.

My First Impression

Wasn't sure where this was going but you made it work. Coffee became a bit of the main character! A little personification there, sorry I had to. It seems that Gerald and Sandy had their own agenda, leaving out of the loop. Caught without being being in the loo. Double jeopardy one would say. I wouldn't forget that coffee either!!



I don't ever believe that I have written flash fiction! This is kind of cool. You set the scene very well, with an imagery I was able to connect to. The character was strong, starting off with conflict right away. You built this to the plot and ended it with resolve. Well done! I don't think I could do it, so there is that!

Was easy to read, with no errors that I could see. Sentence structure was good as I read through I didn't notice anything that really stuck out.

Good read! Thanks for sharing
Keep writing!

The Title


Love the title and after reading this poem I loved even more. The intro really intrigued me to read on.

My First Impression

What a beautiful painted piece you have here. Very inspiring as the writer uses soft sounds through out to convey the beauty of her detachment of reality.

This would have to be my favorite stanza of all.

Her heavy heart beats to the rhythm
of the Healie Bird's warble,
whose sensuous song draws her closer
with its soothing sound.
She fears neither ghosts, nor the living,
in this place of safety
created by the image displayed
behind her half-closed eyes.

The painted image of this woman who takes herself away from such horrible circumstance engaging in another world of fantasy. Her half-closed eyes really allowed me to feel the emotion here. Wonderful!


The Muses That Inspired Me

So many conventions in this beauty, I don't know where to begin so I will name a few that stand out to me.

Hyperbole

As their delicate branches,
caress the earth in a kiss,

Alliteration
Her heavy heart beats to the rhythm


Imagery

Well the whole thing paints a picture with finesse.

There is personification and Ambiguity, Anaphora, Assonance and so much more that brought me to this beautiful place!


Over All Thoughts

The Title


I was intrigued by the title and after reading the intro I was even more intrigued. As we all have our thoughts and references to God.

My First Impression

This was indeed a dark to light poem. Written in free verse and words that were intertwined like a vine bringing hope from the writer. Maybe a bit of confusion as to where they stand.

The Muses That Inspired Me

There are so many conventions in poetry that allow us as writers to paint a picture for the reader and hold interest. Writing from the heart is the best way to write and I find when I do the words are there for me.

Assonance is used frequently through out this piece allowing a beautiful flow.

Consonance is also seen through out and allows for a beat in even in free verse with out a syllable count or rhyme it flows.

In line rhyme is a nice way for a poem to give that nice up beat when reading.

I’m as confusing as the grape vine to many
Great use of Metaphor here. I think I would switch it to I am instead of I'm. It seems to lose a bit of power there. This whole verse was intriguing as to it's meaning.

I wonder what the writer means when saying "Like my former bullies, as a kudzu vine. I have to ponder on that one. Quite deep.

My favorite stanza would have to be the last!

Can I see clearly now that the rain is gone?
But there’s still mud upon the Earth.
But there’s a sunshine flare.
There’s lots to know and lots I won’t know,
But it’s all okay.


There will always be mud on the Earth and at the end of the day the sun will always shine. As humans we grasp to hope and it's an ever day practice. So true in saying we will never know all of it or how it works. Faith is something we choose to see even when it can't be seen right before our eyes.


Over All Thoughts

The Title


Self Worth is so important and yet most of us have to learn the hard way just how important it is.

My First Impression

This felt like a personal portray of a lesson learnt. It was clearly written with great emotion. I read it twice because it held a lot of meaning from the soul.

The Muses That Inspired Me

Self-exploring the goal, no chasing the caught.


This really inspired me because it is such an Oxymoron and it is very interesting to me. I want to say I know what it means from the writers point of view but I can't. I conveyed as The writer won't be caught up with pointless toxic people in their life any longer and only explore the goals of being independent and free from entrapment.

The last verse of realization of self worth and what it means is a beautiful thing. Hold your values high and expect nothing less from others. The soul is a gift and a our very own sanctuary.


Over All Thoughts

The Title


The Man With No Face became an inner consoling character.

My First Impression

I enjoyed the reality of this story as the writer displays a great visual for the reader. Through dialogue and actions that expressed a great amount of distress and emotion. I wonder if this man with no face could be a person from her past.

The structure was well done with great spacing. It flowed to the end and left me feeling quite sad for the main character, as she is left in the dark alone.




Over All Thoughts

The Read

The Title


I was very intrigued by the title and being Chapter One I can read as you right.

My First Impression

I don't usually read fantasy but this was really good. Great introduction to a story I believe will have many conflicts. This first chapter introduces main characters very well, giving a back story and it's first conflict. A great imagery here as well that allowed me to be on that balcony. I love the idea of the two sister moons.



The Mother was introduced in a beautiful manner. This is a wonderful start to what I believe will be a great story.

Very easy to follow with great spacing and dialogue was not overdone. I believe this was thought out very well as it shows. I didn't see any errors as far as punctuation or grammar. It's written in first person which is hard enough to carry through but done well. It is written is present tense which is also not an easy task.



Quite impressive! Well Done!!
Keep Writing!

The Read

Structure

First Impression

Conventions That Inspired Me

Conventions