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1
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Review of Fallen  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings Violet Moon My name is ~Lifelessons~ and I found this story on the read and review page. I imagine this is a story that is to be continued? Going by the small intro I didn't come across a cat or the escape? You may want to put that somewhere in the intro?

*Books6* The Read *Books6*


Right from the beginning my heart went out to Sorra and her situation along with the others. So much of this going on today and it's heart breaking. Very descriptive and held a great imagery for the reader. Details in this sort of tale would be quite necessary and you did a great job. The man with the control is quite the character and you didn't have a name for him but you didn't need to. He was the care taker of this kennel and not a nice guy!!

I didn't see any major mistakes so I won't mention any. As you revise your story you will see these yourself. Animals have hearts and they are not stupid but to be treated like you are meaningless, beaten and starved they will lose their spirits.

The dream that Sorra has gives her a vision of a strong spirit and keeps her own spirit in tact. Once after another living in those conditions makes me shiver. You kept it real enough and gave personifaction to each animal. The ending had me wanting someone to find them and take them away somewhere safe.

I do hope the story continues and I can have the chance to see where you are going with it. Thank you for sharing. I did enjoy the read.

Kindly
~LL~



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Review of Mary Ann  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Greetings to you very thankful my name is ~Lifelessons~ I found this story on the read and review page. The intro caught my attention to read but the story itself held me there. The unexpected was shocking.



*BookOpen* The Read *BookOpen*



I enjoyed the beginning which started with dialogue. Dialogue is a wonderful way to introduce characters and start off a story line with visual. I could imagine this little Diner with a purpose to carry Susan into her new fate.


It's very bad luck to be out in the middle of no where so close to giving birth! I couldn't imagine her fear and distress. Everyone around her seems so care free and knew right away what to do. I have to wonder if they have done this before. Seems like a twilight zone story. Intriguing none the less.


The dialogue was spaced out great along with all sentences. A clear read and with the punctuation used properly I was able to follow the story without hesitation.


The characters were strong yet I think I would have portrayed the fear of Susan with more intensity. She had to be so scared!! I didn't feel that like I would have hoped.


The end was great and yet again it leaves a wide open area to continue the story. Does Susan stay? Could she have escaped? Does Marianne keep her child? I have many questions as to what could have happened.


Once again a great little piece. I enjoyed it a lot and I hope you come back to it one day to explore the many possibilities for Susan and Mary Ann.


A pleasure!

~LL~



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3
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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings to you Cubby It's me ~Lifelessons~ ! I am so glad to come upon your story through the read and review page!


*CoffeeV* The Read *CoffeeV*



I believe this was written for a contest so maybe a word count was enforced. I enjoyed the idea that this was in first person and held well all the way through the story. The home of this little girl called "Remember" fitting title for the content. I remember as well playing with barbies and we used socks to make all kinds of clothes. Wealthy we were not but we didn't notice. Everyone had the same back then. Just as you write in this piece. So much has changed and it's quite sad really.


This story strikes a chord with me as I remember all too well how growing up was not the same as current days. People seem to need so much more to happy and I think this was the point of this story. Even though it was short it wrapped up a few story conventions that pulled together nicely.

I felt sad for the narrator in the end. Losing her parents and not able to deal with it properly. Times were different then but I am thinking a sense so much better for the soul.


clear sentence structure helped move this story along. I would of wished to read more with more visual. You did a fine job but maybe this could be a longer story now that it isn't in a contest? It has great potential of a lovely short story.


Thank you for sharing

Keep Writing!

~LL~
*Bird*

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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings to you Fyndorian my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have found this on the read and review page. I loved the description being short and informative. It grabbed my attention. Maybe because I am my own best friend.



*DragonflyV* First Impression *DragonflyV*



I love the clear well spaced writing of this story. The clear imagery had me sitting right up there in that tree. Victoria is a strong character even through the imagination she made a great best friend. I felt sorry for Emily as she was so down on herself. A bit of an introvert. Nothing wrong with that because I find myself more and more this way the older I get. Sometimes we need that "other" to keep us above water. No pun as they were up river! Okay not funny.


The idea that Emily became a writer doesn't surprise me because most writers do better on their own. I enjoyed the little disagreement between the "two". Maybe that is what we do ourselves and don't even recognize it. We all have that other side that is more confident and reasurring. I think I do anyway. So I related to this story on many levels. It was well told and expressive with value.


I really don't have any suggestions for this great piece. You wrote it well with great conversation and brought your characters to life. Even the grandmother knew better than to question the reality of Victoria.


Thank you so much for sharing, I really did enjoy the read. Hence the ribbon award! Congratulations.


Keep writing

~LL~ *Bird*

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5
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Review of Elisa  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Greetings to you Opal Forest my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I found this short piece on the read and review page.


*BookStack3* First Impression *BookStack3*


I was drawn to the darkness of this short story. I enjoyed the imagery because it placed me right where the writer wanted me to be. In darkness, in fear, in the middle of the night. Dream can take us some where great or some where very dark. As far as I can tell this is still a dream.

The girl in the dream sounds like the walking dead kind!! Great detail in this character as well. I would have ran myself.


*BookOpen* Suggestions *BookOpen*



So when we are writing we really want that thought out there before we lose it. I totally understand this because I do it all the time. If we look over our work we begin to see it morph and find little things that bring to a better read. These are a couple of things that I thought you might want to change.

letters 3:00

you may want to change this to numbers

Up ahead I could see a starting of a forest.



I would change this line to something such as


Up ahead I could see what seemed to be the opening to a forest.


or.. Up ahead I could vaguely make out an outline to a forest.


You may want to space between lines. Having everything so crowded makes it hard on the eyes of the reader.


Take a look again at your present and past tense. I noticed a few "is" and "had" "were'


"All I could see" should be All I was able to see" or "all I had seen" keeping in past tense.


These are only suggestions and do not feel you have to make changes. Writing is a freedom and a passion and as you write more you will learn more. So Keeps Writing.


~LL~ *Bird*

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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Greetings to you Paul D Yes it is me ~Lifelessons~ !! I am back! I came across this story on the read and review and thought hey! Someone familiar to me. Had to take a read. I only read the first chapter so I wouldn't get too ahead of myself with reviewing again.

First Impression



Well you set a great scene for the reader. I found myself in the middle of a hay day at a stampede. The crowds howling and the bull center stage making a play on the clown. Something I will never do by the way! *BootR*

A great introduction to a couple of main characters. Stuart and Bill being brothers and from a bit of a dark back ground. A big age difference which has me suspicious of where the story line is heading.

Bill is in jail due to his drinking and fighting at a local bar. Seems Stuart has been rounded him up more than once.

The other main character so far is noted as "I". This confused me a little bit because the writer is going from third to first person rather quickly. I found myself re reading to figure out that "I' was a female and it became clear as I read on that she is the girl duely noted at the stampede.

Suggestions



Without reading further I would suggest that the female be introduced in another fashion. Bring her to life with more detail. She will have a major role I am assuming and I want to be wowed by her. I am wondering if she also couldn't be in third person reflecting on her personality and looks rather than jumping right into her thoughts. This is only a suggestion and not my story. I will continue to read and see how this turns out.



I like where the story is going and I love the strength of the characters as far as the Stuart, Bill and Maxwell. Quite the trio!!


Thanks for sharing and see you soon

Keep Writing *Bird*


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Review of Time  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings to you Morshdi1 my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I found this piece of poetry on the read and review page. Welcome to the site!! Don't you just love the magic of words? I love what they can portray for the reader and the writer.

*Bird* First Impression *Bird*




Right away I felt the heaviness of the heart as two people are not together. Time is never on our side is it? What once was could pass in our dreams and give us a quick glimpse of those we love and miss. So very nicely written as I felt the pain.


I love this line

Time is a cruel mistress


This grabbed my attention right away as I knew there were wonderful conventions in this poem allowing me to feel as the reader what the writer was portraying. Memories that wash over us as time wipes them out. The cruelty of something we have no control over.


This being a free verse poem allows the writer to think outside the box a little and use imagery through words of convention. A nice flow from line to line without hesitation. I did however notice that you used a few commas but not other punctuation. I think and this is only my opinion that maybe use it through out, creating pauses and refrain from losing your breath.


great read!!

keep writing

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8
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Review of Calendar Girl  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Lou-Here By His Grace my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I found this wonderful piece in the read and review page. I love poetry because it allows the writer to feel but it also allows the reader to portray the words how they would see fit. It is either plainly written or written with passion.


*Bird* First Impression *Bird*



The memories of this piece brings a smile to my face. The Cola girls were like movie stars on bill boards, magazines, beauties on calendars. Those were wonderful times but I wouldn't know I wasn't there. Women held much class back in the day which is something today's society could use.


The flow of the poem was nicely written and left no stagnant pauses or hiccups. The use of poetic conventions were clearly used in just about every line. Puncutation was well placed creating the flow with nice pauses through out.


I really don't have any great suggestions as this is your work and I really did enjoy it. I can picture that cold bottle of cold sweat making me thirsty!! The beauty of the gals with that favorite drink on a hot day would make any one go buy that thirst quencher!! Colorful with wonderful memories.


I enjoyed the read very much

thanks for sharing!!

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9
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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello falak My name is ~Lifelessons~ and I found this little read on the read and review page. I love writing but I also love what other write. Sometimes it awakens my own muse.

First Impression


I totally understand what you are saying here. Life is so fast and we don't have a lot of time to just stop. Stop and listen or to smell the roses. The importance of this is way more valuable then we tend to think it is. One day the ones we love are here and one day they might not be. Family or friends or that one guy you see every day and never spoke to.


Suggestions



It might be that this is all you wanted to say but I think you can add to this with potential of making it a longer piece. I would liked to have felt more emotion here and with changes in punctuation an easier read. The point you are trying to get across is important. Maybe revise a little and make your reader leave feeling like they want to make that change. Ponder it a longer while.

What I liked was that you used "Today as a Gift" and you are so right. It is that for sure. This is a point of interest or a deep emotion of how you feel. Make it real, make it stand out. It doesn't matter what we write we write from the heart. I know this as I read it but was a bit confused in the beginning. Not because I didn't understand what you were trying to say but with different choices of word choices it would be an easier read.

Never stop writing!! Loved the read
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10
10
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Happy Anniversary 🌙 HuntersMoon !!

I have no trouble finding something in your port that draws me in. Knowing this was written for humor I have to say I slightly giggled! It's so close to the truth!

Well written while leaving the reader to think about where we are in life and will we have enough to retire and not starve. Who will be looking after our seniors and one day that will be myself. Yeesh!


I love the use of conventions in this piece because each is used so fitting to the tale. Great punctuation use as well that made this flow so easily. Please be patient as this is my first review in a very long time. I am putting myself in sticthes.
My favorite in this poem would have to be the fourth verse. Probably because it is hard making it through while working let alone having to survive on what ever we are left with in the end. Seriously you took a topic of worry and still had me laughing. Why? That's just what you do my friend. Again it was a pleasure to read you work once more.

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Review of The Woman in Navy  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi 50K or bust !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos
*Sun* Happy Anniversary!! *Sun*


I love this story! I love that history in those times of despair. It's humbling to me that people lived with so little and yet today we need so much. So I tend to read these impoverished times. This woman had a dream to escape her fate and took a chance. Writing those letters under an alias gave her hope. I don't think she intentionally wanted to hurt this man and probably fell in love with him along the way.

He was so angry and with rights to be so angry. Yet in those times having someone held a big price. People were realists and had to survive even if it meant living with someone you may not love. You did what you had to do.

I was glad that the resolution was a happy one because I believe they both fell in love without knowing it.

Clear sentences, great punctuation. I enjoyed the dialogue and small gestures that brought these two characters to life for me. I liked them both as they are both strong and knowingly went forward with a knew knowing. Wonderful conventions of a short story and it really was enjoyable.

thanks for sharing
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12
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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Naveed !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

*Sun* Happy birthday to You!! *Sun*

I love poetry!! The way it allows a poet to portray a visual. Using conventions to lure the reader into the web of words. I would say this is a traditional form of poetry all though some lines miss the syllable count to stay consistent it still holds the rhyme scheme and verses.

Quite the darker side of things isn't it. The life of a mobster is nothing one can do without a strong stomach and cold heart. I think I will stay on this side of things.

Each verse brings me to a new visual of actions taken place. I enjoyed very much the tone set by using "c" , "k" sounds. You can feel the harshness in the characters voice. Many instances of alliteration, simile, Assonance, characterization, conflict, and hyperbole. All of these things are seen quite nicely that ground this poem for the reader.
Punctuation is used nicely as it held no hesitation for me. A great flow of words that paint a picture of darker walks of life.

My favorite verse would be the fourth because it really holds that dark tone in such a poetic way. Literary works come into play and really stood out to me. Carefully chosen and strikes me to read it again. very well done!

All in all in this is a wonderful poem that grabbed my attention. Well done!



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Review of Rhythm  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Marco G. !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

I imagine this friend of yours is the dancer? I love prose and have written a few myself. To be able to take a moment in time and write it with poetic conventions just thrills me. I find it easier to write about a moment than a full story. not sure why that is. If this piece were written as a poem how would you write it? Even as a prose there are so many conventions in this piece. Hyperbole, simile, soft tones, visual, imagery, character, narrator, rhyme, simile, alliteration and so many more.

A wonderful prose filled with a minute by minute play of a dancer who makes her way into the streets for competition. She knows her talent and is sure to wow her audience.

The beautiful thing about prose is that there is no rising action or plot thickening. It is about this one character. From what she looks like, how she feels, who she is dressed, her surroundings and dancing.

I was able to envision her there putting on a dazzling show with her toned body and wicked moves. The crowd is heard and probably cameras going off. Tourists gathering and left is ah. A talent that one just can't dismiss.

great prose
thanks for sharing


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Review of On the Runway  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi 🏳‍🌈 Me ~ Duf ♏ !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

I love fashion! I love clothes! My mother makes the most interesting clothes. She should have been a designer without a doubt. She just altered a long jean skirt for me and added leather trim. gorgeous!

This story is filled with many things. A passion, the drive, the patience and the know how. Fashion is about design and everything from shoes to hair and makeup. I find many transgenders make awesome models! The main character of this story follows her heart and not the voices of others that wanted her to do other things.

She finds her inner power and takes it to the run way. Things could go very wrong but she was quick on her heels to get it back on track. It wasn't a drama packed or action packed story but it held a convention on it's own.

Good dialogue with great sentence structure that allowed the story to flow at a good pace. Two more characters bring this story to it's end. Three girls who rocked the house and the run way make it to the cover of Elle! If that isn't a great dream! The lights flashing, the glowing stars and moon make it so magical. I could envision this show so easily with the cameras, the people, the fussing and time related pressures.

good read
thanks for sharing


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15
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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Charlieee 🌈 !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

You did it again! I found myself buried in this story because of it's realistic tones. Some couples do get into that rut and stay because they just don't know how to be alone. The characters here were realistic and very strong. The visual was awesome that left me intrigued to move forward. I didn't see this twist coming either. I thought in the end they would move on but not in this sense of the word.

A very clear exposition bringing me right into the story with two strong characters. I really felt badly for Nick. I don't think his intentions were to kill her but he blacked out it seems. The repetition of Jessica screaming, slamming the door, leaving him in silence just ate him. There is leaving and there is leaving.

Jessica seems to be the typed to egg on someone who she knows could react. Maybe Nick did this to her before? Something for the reader to consider.

Clear sentence structure as well as awesome literary works that kept this story realistic and the reader wanting more. You have a way with words my friend. Story telling isn't a math equation it's a gift, an art. There is no formula and I prefer to read stories like this that don't portray to the way people think they should be written. The ups and downs of a great story keeps me interested. Well done!

Thank you for allowing me to wonder in your port! I must do it again soon!

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Review of Four Two Six  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Charlieee 🌈 !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

What an excellent story here! Her own father! This story was filled with so much emotion and it left me feeling so sorry for this girl. A girl of many out there who are in the hands of that person in their own home.

Annie's father holds her responsible for her mother's death and she wants to get help but too afraid to reach out. Devastating story. I love your work because it seems to fit into real life situations. That is what I like to write as well. A play on words that brought it to life for me as I wanted her to spill the beans. Of course the father is there probing the police to stop questioning her. I would hope they would follow up on that counselling session, but in reality that wouldn't happen either.

This girl needs validation that what she did wasn't her fault. The end left me wanting to reach out to her as she tries to remember those few numbers. The resolution was not resolved but left the reader feeling hopeful and concerned. Just as the writer would want. Well done!!

Sentences were clear as the dialogue takes off leaving me wanting to read on and on. Very well though out and carefully put together. I see zero issues in this piece other than I wanted more.

Great Read!
thanks for sharing




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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Charlieee 🌈 !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

Yet another wonderful write!! As you wrote this is from experience. I couldn't imagine the turmoil. Addiction is just as you say "succubus". Great word choice here! I felt the pain,the struggle and succumbing to the darkness, the addiction. So much hurt and sorrow felt as well.

Great character building in this poem that holds literary works bringing this piece to so much more. Also just as in a story there is a climax here from which the character fights the urge. I would also say I feel there is an antagonist convention in this as well. One force against the other.

Wonderful hyperbole, metaphor, simile, personification written in a Tercet form. The title is very suiting for this piece as it stands for such a struggle for the character. A subject that many can relate to. I watched it myself and it isn't easy for either side.

There was a great meter sense as well which helped keep the poem contained and not over done. Pyrrhic was used also that helped set the tone of the poem.

I found zero mistakes and really enjoyed the read. You have a gift of grabbing the reader I see. Enjoying the reads in your port.

thanks for sharing



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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Charlieee 🌈 !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

You certainly have a gift my friend! *Cool* This is something that seemed so real to me. The world around Jason was just squeezing him to death. Even after ten years sobriety can be taken away instantly given the wrong situation. I felt so badly for him because of all he had went through and tried so hard to keep it real. Can someone's ego do that to them. All for the attention of a woman? I guess it can. Demons are demons and they have the last say sometimes.

I thought it was wrong of Michelle to set him up to fail as he did but it was his choice in the end. The whole scene at the pub was so realistic, I wanted a drink. lol
okay been a long day! HA!

Everything about this story was bang on. It was alive for me like watching it. You just know how to write. No doubt about that. A very smooth read and one I really enjoyed. I saw zero errors and no hesitation. Literary works were in place making this a very interesting story that held my attention.

Very strong characters involved with such conflict!! The resolution was sad but here we go again with realism. You kept it real. Loved it!! thanks for sharing with me!


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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Charlieee 🌈 !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

Free verse style poetry gives the poet freedom to speak in a way that formed poetry can enslave us. If done correctly it can hold the same conventions and convey a great story with conviction.

It is a sad thing that people who don't seem to fit in with society become their own creatures. Normalcy is not the same. Filled with anger and running from past crimes, always lurking to see what is behind them. Yet they can't seem to stop or get in so deep there is no way out.

Conventions of many stand out here for me. I enjoyed the enjambment as it flowed without hesitation. Using the grammatically correct use of punctuation enjambment become a great convention.

Alliteration was found throughout along with assonance ,
hyperbole, metaphor. Amidst the Norm is a great title as it sets the ground for this poem. Linked by association to the message in written.

It has that tone with using "c" "v" that I could feel the wrench in the poet's voice. The disturbance of life under the sewers. The life that other's choose to ignore. Great read for me and something that is so true. Violence is in all walks of life.
thanks for sharing




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Review by ~Lifelessons~
Rated: E | (5.0)
perfect place to be!!
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Review of Blank Pages  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi ~♥~Krysha~♥~ !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

Oh yest the writers block!! Went through months of it last year. To sit and stare at a page and try and nothing happens. It is so painful as a writer! You however wrote something that many relate to on this site. A remarkable vision that took through moments of blank pages turning into something new! Wonderful! With so many great conventions this turned into a gem!

Even though this is about a conflict to a writer it held a soft tone as you use "s" "i" "m"...
Hyperbole is used quite nicely as your knuckles grayed, and Playful words but only jest! Brilliant! The teasing of the muse.

Great form throughout this piece and without hesitation. Rhyme scheme was great. I would only suggest paying attention to the meter count as I found a couple of lines a bit longer than the rest. Nothing more than a couple of word choices to bring that back to a lower syllable count.

Writing is a gift and we all have it or we wouldn't be here. Looking into your port I saw so many wonderful writes I want to read.


My favorite lines would be:

No longer were my thoughts locked in their cage,
My pen flowed brilliant colors of the dawn.

I choose these because it paints a picture of the breakthrough of the block. I have visions of you sitting there in these early moments of the day and allowed your muse to write what it sees. It's beautiful!

Well done!
thanks for sharing!



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Review of Modern Times  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Prosperous Snow Thankful !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

This is a free verse poem that allows the poet to convey an opinion on humanity and what it carries forth as we evolve in many aspects. We would like to think that we are on the right path, but I don't think we are. There aren't enough of us that grow to make a difference as a whole.

We are a species without a doubt. We started with nothing but had everything we needed to survive and prosper. Then Modern Times takes all of it away replacing it anxiety, troubled souls, not enough, doubt. How did we get here? What did we miss? Was there a boat? LOL.. sorry this was a bit of humor on a very important opinion.

I enjoyed everything about this piece, as it covers so many kinds of people and our growth on this earth.

A easy read with no hesitation. Spacing was great with some enjambment by using grammatically correct usage. There are conventions in place that set the voice of the narrator. Some rhyme scheme that is quite fitting. The message is great with history in place and written for individuals as everyone grows differently.

I am glad to have come across this poem with a great opinion of evolution. Thanks for sharing!



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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Robin Millstone #TheRhymeMaven !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

Very insightful poem!! Full of so many messages that are so important for man kind. Some are raised this way and know no different or don't know how to change. Some are just ignorant to what is supposed to be. Humans, we are all the same. To think any differently is just blind for sure.

A great traditional form of poetry that has so many wonderful conventions. Punctuation is brilliant as it helps to convey the strong emotions placed in this piece.
Enjambment, in line rhyme, assonance, alliteration, hyperbole, meter, strong narration!! So many others that wrap this up nicely!

My favorite verse is the third because it is about the future and what our children learn from us. Poisonous words can create such hatred. Our world is messed up in so many ways but as parents and neighbors we can make a difference in what our children learn. One house is different from the next when it comes to beliefs but this isn't a secret. It's real, it's out there and more than ever in the last few years.

I commend your opinion, your voice and strength. I feel the passion in this poem and your hunger to have others read. Poetry is a voice and we as poets are able to write for others to read and in hopes of making a difference.

well done!
keep writing!



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Review of Friendship is  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Dragon !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

Friendship is so very important. There are times you need them and there are times you don't. I have a group of friends that I don't get to see often enough, but if I ever needed them they are they like a group of sisters.
For life time, a seasons or a reason, friends come and go and the ones that stay are family. I love meeting people and sometimes I get a feeling about them. Either to stay away or "I really connect with them."

This being a free verse poetry it still holds many conventions. Assonance, Alliteration, enjambment and a narrator conveying an opinion. Well done there! I wonder though if you used some different punctuation that allows one line to run into the other. I found I was at a dead stop with each line making it hard for a good flow.

I saw no errors as far as punctuation or grammar. It was clearly written and poetry is in the hands of the poet. As a reader this is only a suggestion. I love the idea of friends and how they come into our lives in any given moment. A pleasant read that brought a smile to my face. Friends are so very very important.

Thanks so much for sharing!
Keep writing.




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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Gabriella !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos

I really enjoyed reading this because every Christmas I ask for a book on writing. So now I have to pick on of these. I really like the idea of "Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg. Although they are all wonderful and would love to get my hands on them all. I have to choose this one because of the whole zen thing and free-spirited aspect.

A very informative read you have here. Helpful to many writers I would imagine. Life gets in the way and it does form a procrastination for me. So maybe this will do me good. I have several books of writing and poetry and I do use them always.

This was a clear read with no restrictions. I loved the quotes from the books as they give you a little peak of what you will find. The bold bullets are wonderful as they highlight each book.

Samples really pulled me in to wanting each book. lol thanks for that.
The writing life can twist and turn and flow and sometimes it settles in a place I have to find it again. Yet when there are so many things available such as this it makes me want to run out, pick one up and get back to it.

thanks again for sharing. A great read indeed!


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