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101
101
Review of The Tech Guy  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi BScholl !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

There has to be that one guy right? This story was quite comical as the peers surrounded this machine and describing the sounds it was making. How foolish must they sound? Great way to bring in conflict into the story. Onomatopoeia is shown in a great way causing a bit of humor.

The narrator's point of view of the situation brings to light that maybe he just has that touch. Some people look at technical devices and freeze and don't know one button from another. I think I am one of those people. My son and husband both are inclined to figure things out and not afraid to open up the computer to peak.

A suggestion that maybe you would want to space out sentences especially during dialogue. It causes a bit of a hesitation trying to read when words are bunched up. Otherwise it was a smooth read. Punctuation was good as well as grammar. Setting the scene was done well as i could see this office full of people trying to figure out the issue. The narrator seems confident that they will turn to him to fix things. Really he didn't have to do a thing. Maybe a bit of common sense! No! That would be too easy. LOL

Thanks for sharing and it was enjoyable!


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102
102
Review of Trace Jenaris  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Mona !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

First off I want to welcome you to the site! I see you haven't been here long. Fantasy stories can be anything you want it to be and yet I find it not so easy to write. I do love reading them though.

The writer paints a wonderful picture of the forest and the surroundings as she sits to read a scroll. Her thoughts wonder as to what really happened with her father in the pit. An exploration party was being held with people of special skills to accompany those who wander in.

The rising action happens when she is intruded by heavy footsteps of a gang of hobgoblins. Nasty creatures that were painted well giving me a visual of these bad boys. They want children to enslave for their means. They have no idea that Trace Jenaris was a half-elf druid with powers of her own. She uses these to her own device killing these evil monsters. Without looking back she runs. Taking a form of a wolf, only one of her special powers.

Filled with action, conflict and resolution!! I really enjoyed this character. My only suggestion to this story is to stay on topic with your character. I hesitated with the paragraph of the sales person. Not sure what the purpose of that was.

A few little errors that you will see if you choose to revise this story. Other wise a great read!! Fool of wonderful bones for great structure.


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103
103
Review of The Old Mirror  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Kristoffer Kerk !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Isn't it funny how time takes control without us even paying attention until it seems too late. Although this was a short story it held so many wonderful conventions. Literary works came into play here with great description of this mirror and the memories it holds. Anne was brought back in time holding this gem and reflects her past and the now. Filled with metaphors, hyperbole, visual antics, the writer had me feeling as though I were in that attic with Anne.

A clear read and very in the moment. This almost makes me wonder if this should be considered to be a vignette. It is a moment capturing an impression of a character that sets the mood and conflict of life. Time stands still in the piece. well done!

A very clear read with a lovely flow. My attention was held all the way through as the writer portrays a moment in an aging woman. I found no grammatical errors and sentence structure was smooth. A story is just a story if the reader does not feel or sense what the writer is trying to convey. For me this story was more than that. It was deep in a thought that brought me there.

Very lovely and I do wish you to consider making this a vignette. It holds poetic value as well.
Thanks for sharing


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104
104
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Judy !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

What a wonderful well thought out story. As I was reading this I said to myself, "This writer knows her stuff." The facts that intertwine with the story makes it that much more interesting. I have to say it held my attention well. As simple as the family is there is so much history and I can see how you will be able to extend this story. Watching the family grow through all struggles of the time. Excitement as your characters come to life.

I found zero errors in all aspects. A very easy read with wonderful foot notes in the end. This giving the reader a new knowledge and I learned something new!! A bit of history goes a long way when writing in this genre. Would take much resourcing and must be a passion so good for you !

Imagery is important when telling any story but a story built on history it becomes even more important. Setting the scene and behaviors of others. The steamboats and the river. Ladies being ladies and gents being gents. Thank you for that!!

I wish you all the luck with this story line and would love to read more when you chose to share it with us. Quite interesting indeed!
Thanks for sharing!
kind regards,
~LL~


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105
105
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi E.J Wilkinson !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Quite a story that holds too much truth to our society. I feel as though we are going backwards in time instead of forward. This a strong story told in third person and held strength all the way through. Imagery was quite strong that allowed me to sit under that tree with the main character. Her emotions take over and I think if she didn't allow herself to be taken back to that day, she might have changed her mind.

Deserving? Not sure about that. A hate crime yes but not on her side of the fence. Her heart was broken beyond repair it seemed. Clouded with images of her family and the loss of everything she loved. This man committed the ultimate hate crime without a doubt. I would have rather seen him rot in jail and have to live with everyone he taunted. He didn't suffer. He was given a free pass without having to answer for his hateful sins.

A clear read and as the plot was rising I felt my own heart racing. I didn't want her to do it. The falling action as this man met his fate was a steady wrench. The resolution being just what the main character wanted. The sad thing is, I don't think it would change how her heart felt. I think she added to her own anguish. Two wrongs don't make a right they say. I have to agree. A good read!!
Thanks for sharing


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106
106
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi BEAR !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

I love prose! This was so wonderful and I really really enjoyed the literary works here. I could tell it was written with great passion and a part of wonders of the past. You are right that we do take things for granted today in our new world. The simplicity of nature and the power it holds is something dear to me.

As the saying goes A Crow is a sight that brings feelings of death and I don't know of any other myths so I have been enlightened. Quite the message he has bestowed you with and one that you probably took to heart.

There were no mistakes as far as grammar or punctuation. You gave a beautiful visual of a great wonderful part of nature.

And I felt his gaze, his message.
My heart beat as distant drums.
Within my veins, coursed blood,
of lineage of a warrior.

I really enjoyed this verse as it speaks volumes of who you are as a writer. Similes, hyperbole, and so many more conventions filled throughout the prose. This verse holds a lot of strength to it and passion. Recognition of what has been forgotten. Quite lovely. Nicely written.

Thank you for sharing.

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107
107
Review of Gramma's House  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi August Leaf !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

I love poetry! The way it's written in so many ways. Some write for pleasure and free style and some write only in formed. I see here you have written what seems to be traditional. Although some lines are quite not bang on with meter it still holds a wonderful tone. I feel the delight with memories you have shared in this beautiful big house.

My son will always have dear memories in my mother's house as well. I used to play with friends at their grandmother's house and oh my the treasures in her basement were fun filled days.

Enjoying personification while you brought this house to life for me made it that much more delightful. a house is more than a warm hug.. it protects us, holds memories. I drive by any old house and I want to know the history of it. Amazing every time!!

The rhyme was great in this piece that gave me a smile. Punctuation was used well to help stress the excitement. Nicely done! Similes and hyperboles are my favorite conventions of poetry and sometimes we don't even realize we are using this wonderful structures of literary works. Once you know what they are you can use them to the fullest. Once again thank you for sharing. I enjoyed this very much!


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108
108
Review of The Walk  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Lizzy !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

This was nice little read down memory lane for the main character. Whoever he was, he wasn't alone in that transition from one land to another holding hopes and dreams. I think we all have that same path as to what we dream for and what could have been. In the very end we lived our lives as they were meant to be. With doubts, fears and weariness we live on hope.

As this story evolves there is a resolution that maybe his life wasn't what he expected but he was blessed and fortunate for all he had. A loving family and memories of what he left behind in the very beginning.

I found a wonderful visual in this story as you paint a picture for me. The trees, beauty and hustle of people. His memories of the past to the future. I found no mistakes in spelling and the story flowed well for me, holding my attention very well. I wonder if this story could be longer because it has great bones of a longer tale.

Victory is a strong character and I can't help but wonder if his life changes and how? Does his dreams take off or does he settle for what is now. History repeats itself but as writers we can change it to anything we want. What would Victor want?

thanks again for sharing


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109
109
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi glowz !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

There is a wonderful part of life when mother's and daughters talk. I learned my mom's whole life and then some just by spending some quality time. You treasure these things.

It seems you have much more to say about your mom and her history. As I read this I felt as though you copied it from your journal. In saying that I was hoping for more. Your mom isn't just a character she was a person you knew well. Her habits, her thoughts, her actions, are all things that I think you should write about. Weaving in these happenings along with her personality.

In telling a story it can be just that. You told me things your mother said, but I wonder if you can show me? Bring me to those moments. It takes practice and the use of literary works to bring something alive.

There is no mistaking that you love your mom and want to keep her legacy alive. So maybe a challenge for you? Remember your mom and your favorite things about her. When you were talking to her, were you sitting at a table? Was she fussing with something? Did she hesitate in stories? Did you ask her questions? With some detail this story could be a treasure.

A little help with sentence structure would help the reader to engage much more than the pauses causing hesitation. I wasn't clear as the story went from present to past. A few things to fix if you chose to revise this story. I hope you do and I would love to read it.

thanks for sharing


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110
110
Review of I Remember Daddy  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

The worst is the end where a will is involved. People will go to court for a hundred dollars I swear. These two sisters are busy fighting over what they remember but after everything is said, I have to wonder if they are fighting over the memories. One thinks she is in the right because of what she remembers and the other believes what she was told. Always two sides to a story. One can tear a family apart.

These kinds of stories boil my blood because we will be going through the same thing one day. Where do the rights lye and how does it get resolved? There is a lot of truth to this story and one that many could probably relate to.

A good read with great dialogue. A couple of minor spelling mistakes but nothing you won't catch yourself. Punctuation was used properly as well as grammar. I tend to read a story without involving too much with grammar unless it really pops out at me. I love the structure of a story told and if it holds my interest. The rest can be resolved with some attention in editing.

This story has the potential to become a longer story giving these two characters a path of regaining a family connection. something to think about?
Thanks for sharing

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111
111
Review of Lonely To Wonder  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi He’s Brian K Compton !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

I love poetry and the way it can express ones emotions. The poet brings the reader to a level that we can either interpret as the writer has written or our own personal thoughts. By using conventions of poetry, ones writing can shine.

I read this as a traditional poem with rhyme scheme. Although the meter in most lines are 7 syllables. I hesitated on the line that held 11. This is your poem and a beauty for sure so do not feel you have to change a thing.

I did see many other conventions like hyperbole "blooming inside your mouth" Loved this!

My favorite verse would be the first. It speaks volumes of the emotions felt. The wanting of love and the nervousness. "Willful Lips bleeding truth" amazing line here.

This piece reminds me of my first love and how nervous I was and the heartache of the parting. I think many people could relate to this poem. Quite a visual piece as I can imagine to people about to meet at the mouth and yearn for something extraordinary. Quite heated and a personal thought of one person without the other being aware. A mere whisper of want and fear at the same time.

Punctuation is also important while writing poetry. Just as important if writing a story. I see you have used this well creating pause in some instances and enjambment in others.

Thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~


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112
112
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Tara !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

I have to say right off the bat that Lady Hortensia is a prude. A little demoralizing and so rude. Dorothea holds her own though and is tuned into what the mother is all about. Being a mechanic sets her up nicely as she will be staying with the family and room and board is covered. I wonder what else will be uncovered during her stay.

The exposition is clear enough to understand the reasons why Dorothea is there. A few things missing for me. What did the place look like and did Dorothea come to be sitting in front of this woman. Was it a choice, a must, a favor. Where did she come from.

There were a few visuals for me that helped my muse see what you wanted to portray but I found the words a bit squished and had to re read. Spacing is important and sentence structure as well. As a whole this is your first chapter and a fine introduction. You want to grab your reader though and I wasn't grabbed at the end. A writer wants the reader begging for more with a hook. Maybe revise this a little and play around with giving it that extra. Writing is a tool and we all have to learn how to use it. We tend to get carried away with wanting it out there. These are only suggestions because I see great bones of a greater story here.
Thanks for sharing















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113
113
Review of Deacon Ryce  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi SisterCrow !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Loved this introduction to what could be an awesome read!! You sure set the scene in this exposition and gave me a clear picture of the main character. This was the perfect way to introduce Ryce. Brilliant imagery here because the literary works brought me to a dark place. Even after a war such as this the law is in order.. or is it? Already into this short piece there is conflict for Ryce as he barely escapes what could have been his death.

I wonder how dangerous this guy will be throughout the story. The writer certainly put some clear thought into this creating what could be an exciting climbing plot.

I enjoyed the easy read that held my attention and I do want to read more about this guy! He is intriguing because I don't yet see him as dangerous so I want to know more about him. Great - this is what the reader wants and better for the writer!! I loved the names of places you have chosen as well. The towers of Elam and the Terminus Bridge! Great imagination there. Everything is so believable so far!!

Sentence structure was great with zero mistakes. Clear reading without hesitation. The writer certainly sees what she is writing. She has a vision and was able to share it with me.
thank again















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114
114
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A great read my friend! I love how you incorporated the new beginning with the end of time. To be able to time travel and fix mistakes would be an awesome thing. Reality sets in and we just can't do that no matter what kind of inventions there are. The world is a mess there is no doubt about that and you have written a journey to what might become. I loved that.
Rhyming and meter was great! Of course I know this poet and his talents.
So many lines that I loved I can't really choose just one. Yet this verse catches my attention.

We swelter in the meager shade,
the perspiration flows.
We contemplate mistakes we've made
as disappointment grows.

I think I was grabbed by the intensity of this verse. The mistakes and disappointments. This relating to the travel itself or of the persons themselves. The thought of history being in question is a scary thing. How did we get to this point? I love to read into the poets writings and go a little deeper into my own thoughts. I believe that poetry can do that for others. A wonderful way to connect.

Great conventions were used to bring this piece to life for me. A visual that added senses of fear and doubt. Quite the journey!
thanks again.


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115
115
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi baylor.bambi !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Quite a lovely peace here and welcome back to the site! Now as the reader I would like to tell how I read this piece. A girl swallowed by a broken heart and can't admit to herself that life goes on. She doesn't want to let go of the pain which means she is letting go of a lost love. Swallowed by the sea is a wonderful use of poetic conventions. Literary works allowed me to fell the anguish of not wanting to breath again.

In a short poetic prose you painted a wonderful picture for me. Very visual in ways that let me see this piece as I did. Clearly written without hesitation and I didn't notice any large mistakes. If there are any I was too absorbed in the words alone and didn't notice.

I don't have any favorite lines here because they are all great and roll into one another. Okay, I like "she waits in vain for life to come back to her lungs." There are so many choices of words that could change this whole piece. Investigate words and thesaurus. My saving grace when writing prose. You don't want to repeat yourself through it and one can do so easily. In line rhymes work awesome for me as well when writing prose.
Great read,
thanks again



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116
116
Review of Nothing  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Angus !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Nothing is a sad thought. Not anything-nothing at all? No prospect of progress or no value in a single thing? Deafening silence is deafening and could be depressing. In the still of the night without a single light not even within? I would never want to be in that place. A great way to savor everything we have even as little as it might seem.

I love the hyperbole usage in this piece and it screams terror to me. Metaphors are another great convention to get a thought across to the reader. This is almost frightening. The night hold's it's breath... Love this!! It's clear to me that this was thought out well and you know how you wanted the reader to feel. Literary works were used very well. I felt the terror, the very thought of it. I love silence but not the deafening kind.

Well written without hesitation. It held a great flow that held my attention. I liked the use of punctuation as it allowed that sudden stop. An urgency to a sense. Strong words and to the point. I had to think in the end when you write "it's coming". The end of time is what I imagined. Lights out, it's over. I will say this, if it happens, I don't want to survive it.
nice read! thanks for sharing



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117
117
Review of The Godmother  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Author Ed Anderson !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

I love this character and she is quite a character! So an interview is a great way to tell a story and Jordan seems to have a lot to say. Her husband Mario was quite the guy, sleeping around and with one of his wife's rivals. Dirty pool! Yet she played him right back in many ways now didn't she? Who says blondes are dumb? LOL!

Conspiracy on all levels as she sets up her husband for the murder of his lover and she takes her rivals son as a lover!!! Good grief who thinks of this stuff? You did of course! Great work here.

Clear sentence structure and without hesitation. Grammar was great and I saw zero errors. I enjoyed the dialogue between the interviewer and Jordan as she tells secrets that nobody knew about. Her claim to fame was more than the movies. nicely done!
thanks again





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118
118
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi audreef !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

My mother warned me about a lot of things and as young teens we seem to think they know nothing. Sad that things like this happen but they do. You wrote of a young girl Leslie who didn't want to listen. A bit of a rebellion who sees the world as a free place to do what she pleases.

A simple decision turned dark very quickly and for Leslie it meant a life. Her life. For a short piece like this you seemed to have captured many conventions of a story. The exposition bringing the reader to a scene introducing the main character in a crisis. A crisis that does not get resolved but gets worse. Leslie takes off with a strange guy and what happens after that allows the reader to use their own imagination.
I took as death for her.

It was a clear read with no hesitation. I found no errors as far as grammar or sentence structure. It held suspense, mystery, drama with a sad resolve. I think this story could relate to many readers, mothers, and teens. I hated that age when life was awkward and today the terror is times ten. Peer pressures are everywhere and it's so easy for a young person to make a wrong choice.
thanks again



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119
119
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi debblyliz !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Well I have to say I could never preform in front of others and maybe that is why I prefer to write. Hidden behind the scenes so to say! Anxiety is a tricky thing and it can grab you and any given time but what I time for this character. I felt so badly for him and I wanted to tell him to take a deep breath but my own throat was closing. So great job there because your literary works played out well.

It really did feel like a long ten minutes. I anticipated him on stage and giving a great performance but the twist at the end kind of shocked me. I also found it intriguing because you have left it open to carry it on with a second part? Maybe a novella? Great bones for a longer sculpted story.

It was an easy read and only a few small errors that if you revisit this piece you see them right away. The fact that you used first person was well done. It flowed all the way through nicely. I have to say though that with this character I would of liked to know him more. Yes it was ten minutes of his life but important because you can build from this point. First person is hard to do when writing a longer piece. Nicely done. thanks again.



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120
120
Review of Miguel's Duty  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Christopher Roy Denton !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Excellent read! Filled with action, emotion, desperation and a near miss. Loved the humor or not humor about the president and his hamster hair. one has to laugh even on a serious note. This was very clearly written in third person and past to present tense that was smoothly read. I found no errors in punctuation or grammar but the story did hold my attention, therefore I wasn't paying too much attention to the little details.

A great exposition as the writer sets the scene and introduces the main character Miguel. An agent to defend the President at all costs even if it means his life. I like the idea that this man struggles with his duties and his distaste for the President. I believe that a man like Miguel would honor his position is spite of the person running the country. He has his daughter to think about and her future. A man like that wouldn't cross the line unless it meant his daughter's life. Oh! another story line?

The rising plot leaves Miguel to think he may die and makes peace with himself even with a little prayer and hope. Then things change again when he realizes on his dying breath that he still has a chance to recover what he started out to do. The resolution was great because Miguel didn't end up being a hero, just doing his job. His ego lies with his daughter and how proud he will make her. Great tale. Really enjoyed the literary works that allowed me to visualize this story.


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121
121
Review of First Memory  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Hi Author Ed Anderson !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

No worries about Blindspot, I don't know that show. I don't however want to wake up anywhere not knowing who I am. Although wiping out my memory wouldn't be a bad idea!*Rolling* Erica has to find herself and where she is from. The exposition brings the reader to the setting of the scene and introduces the main character, "Erica".

Rising plot she discovers that she was married and thought to be dead. Her husband is shocked to find her at his door and with another name. He fills her in while their lives are at stake. Yet not enough when her husband was shot. Falling action brings the reader to where Erica is taken once again and locked up out of reach but not out of ear shot. She listens to her captures and realizes who she really is and what she has to hide.

Resolution brings us to where she is dropped off and with yet another identity along with information about her past. Her first memory.

Nicely told story here. I wasn't sure if you had to keep a certain line count because I think there should be a few more details. This being action I found there was more dialogue than the action itself. Of course the bombing and diving out of the way... great action there.

The end was a mystery. Who gave her that information as to where her evidence was? Was he not on the other side? How did her memory regain itself once she opened the locker?

great read, thanks again



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122
122
Review of Castle Memories  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Angel }!
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

This is a totally different take on a castle. To have lived in one and to only die at such a young age. You tell this story from the dead's point of view as though she had laid there watching new life in her castle. Very different insight to life after death I suppose. I didn't expect her to be found and hold such a story.

Castles are magical and to me anything can happen. This poor princess locked up beneath the crust of her own home. She must of screamed for some time...would love to read what she thought as she entered the end of her life. I think it would be more mournful and poetic.

This was an easy read and told in a past tense. I find an issue as Alison introduces herself. She says, My name is Alison. Now knowing she is in the past I was wondering if maybe she should have announced herself as I had a name.. food for thought? Going into present at the end when she is found maybe the person who finds her knows of her disappearance from the castle long ago. Hmm I wonder if this could be another story line? There are great bones here for a wonderful story that takes place in this castle. I do hope you can turn this into a longer story line.

Otherwise a nice read with no great mistakes or errors.



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123
123
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Lisa Grove46311 !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

When I first looked at this piece I thought well a free verse maybe but I realized that it is more of a prose. A beautiful one at that. Great in line rhyming with conventions of poetry written in a story form. If you want it in a free verse form then I would re write it and use line to line without paragraphs. You can still use the punctuation as it is important in poetry in any form.

When writing we want our thoughts out there right away and we tend to get excited about what the reader will think. Feed back is most important as we are in a journey of writing. I hope you see this as suggestions as this is your piece so don't change a thing if you don't want to.

Prose is wonderful because there is no set rhyme or reason to it. It is a thought in a moment of time that allows you to turn it into something beautiful. Capturing a moment and using literary works can turn that moment into a visual masterpiece.

I thought of this saying when I read this, "We are free to make our choices, but never free of the consequence." Something my mother said and it always stuck with me.

A wonderful piece and do hope you take the time to re name it as a prose or work at a verse form poem. thank you for sharing



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124
124
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen !
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Wow! So much emotion in this story. I couldn't imagine being in her situation at all. The ups and downs of her life alone only leading her to become a responsible young mother. Her heart filled with hurt, betrayal and mistrust while she struggles in school and still she grows fond of a child that isn't hers. Well done at pulling at my heart strings!

The writer uses a child to tell her story and through it all I felt her heart growing with a fondness as though she were the child's mother right from the start.

I felt the anger when she found the note attached to the baby's clothing. I could only imagine being in that situation because it isn't a stranger's baby but her sister's baby. That holds a certain something even if you don't want to be apart of it. I would have probably done the same thing.

Clearly written without hesitation I was able to follow the story through. Great sentence structure with literary works to allow the reader to feel the emotions.

I found no spelling errors or grammar mistakes. The spacing was clear and though it went from past to present tense it was done so in a way that made sense. A wonderful read and I thank you for sharing.



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125
125
Review of The Hunt  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Lily Rowe }!
Welcome to the die hard GoT where reviewing becomes a game "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A story filled with animation. I was thrilled while reading that there was so much visual to the story. It had me hooked from the beginning. The exposition introduces solid characters and a setting that left no doubt. Hunting alone is dangerous but add a body to the mix.. you have a mystery! Nice!

I always love a twist in the end and you did have one as they seeked out the killer by knowledge of the water. That was nicely done! A true sleuth you are. I would have rather the ending to be a bit more racy. The brother giving a harder time or a bit of a chase maybe. It seemed to have ended too short. Just an opinion of a writer.

I would also recommend that you revise this story some what and use some spacing. It was a bit confusing to read as every sentence was bunched up. Using dialogue is a wonderful convention in telling a story, but also important to space so the reader is clear as to who is talking.

The other thing I would suggest is a bit of a heightened plot. Again I see this story with a bit more action to it. Other wise it has the great bones of a wonderful mystery. Imagery was great as they come across this deer and then the body. A bit creepy but that is what a murder mystery is all about. Nice read!



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