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Review of Simply Rain  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good evening Maryann! I wanted to stop by and review a piece in appreciation for all you do on the site and for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  I really had a hard time choosing something because you have so much to see! A great port. I chose this piece because I simply love rain and all that it brings.

Very simply written as a free verse poetry form. Yet it holds a marvelous twitch to my senses. Fragrance, rumbles, swaying trees, to the down pore and rainbows.

In line rhymes
Assonance
Alliteration
Atmosphere
Imagery

and so many more conventions stored in this piece. You left me with no hesitation or wonder. I felt it, I loved it. The rain is such a beautiful thing in so many ways... wish it were raining right now and not snowing.. sigh

thanks for sharing
~LL~












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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Day to you sir! Yes you are in the lime light today! An awesome thing!*Delight* For everything you do we appreciate your hard work and dedication to all members on the site.
I had to read this story A Christmas To Remember because I think we all have one. Fiction or not there is always a heartfelt story during this time of year.

First Impression


As the reader I was able to place myself in Starbucks and relate to the dis shuffled Lisa. She is lost in great despair with emotions so high a simple glance in a reflection shows her destitute situation.

While she reflects on her life with her husband a stranger invites himself to sit with her. Lisa was compelled to allow this man to sit and for whatever reason she had it still went unexplained.

Christopher becomes a confidant of sorts. sometimes when we need to vent so badly a complete stranger can be our strongest vice.

A quote
"All God's Angels come to us disguised"

James Russell Lowell


This is how I portrayed Christopher in this story. He is a simple man with a character of strength. empathy and great compassion.

Favorite part


“Hush my child, don’t you cry.
I will care for you til tomorrow’s nigh.
Let your problems flow from you to me.
Relax and feel them go, feel them flee.
All will be well, everything’s alright.
I have them now, they are gone in the night.


Just beautiful. What a way to add that extra emotion of almost bringing me to tears. A great verse of poetry with just the right amount clarity and warmth. Well done!

Suggestions


I can't pick the story apart because I did feel the emotions and I believe that is just what you wanted to do. So great job there! The typos and grammar are here and there but I am not going to point them out. I think if you chose to re visit this story you would see them yourself.

My suggestion is simple! Keep writing because I know you enjoy emotional moments like little wisps of wind on paper. Just work with that and keep doing what you do because the site loves everything about you !!

Happy new year
~LL~


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Review of A Few Lines  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Tadpole1 ! hello! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have come to review this story "A Few Lines"

Aw I felt so bad for her. One wish that she longed for became an embarrassment making her shrink into a creature that goes away hiding with her tail between her legs. A lesson to be learned as to not fiddle around with a few words of magic. This being a fantasy story was filled with delicious imagery. I loved the use of personification and the literary works that brought this tale to life.

The prompt words were used very well and with interesting twists throughout. The resolve of the story turns to a memory of the very thing that she wished for. The very thing she didn't think of before hand. It was "a" kiss that she wanted and that is what she got. What we see is not always what it is. something for everyone to keep in mind even in the fables of make believe.

This story read well and held great structure. A wonderful pace kept me interested to the very end. It was descriptive while using dialogue that enlightened the story. Feelings get hurt in all worlds don't they and the narrator portrayed a wonderful set of emotions from all aspects as this little fairy danced with a dangerous wish.

Well done
thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~





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Review of Parallel Paths  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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Hi Schnujo is Late to Lannister ! hello! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and i am here to review this story "Parallel Paths"

Great title for this story! A great creative piece bringing Queen Anne of England to our generation for a divine intervention. Makes me wonder if we could all use one of those at times.

I enjoyed the exposition and the crisis between the main character and her father. With Courtney coming into the scene to try and make her sister let go of her anger and join the birthday party. This is a matter that the main character couldn't bring herself to do. Yet this woman from a another time pays her respects to the person she was set to help. Her plea of reconciliation between her father and God was held with strength and virtue.

Also the main character wants to ignore this whole facade but later realizes that Queen Anne could have really crossed her path and leaves her to rethink her decision with her father.

This story was written in first person and in present/past scheme. Which read well as the past introduces the conflict of the main character.

Sentence structure was well done and the dialogue kept the story moving with a great tone. The pace was nicely set without hesitation.

Thank you for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~



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Review of Ghost Hunting  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
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Hi Schnujo is Late to Lannister ! Hello! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have come by your port to review this story "Ghost Hunting" I believe a prompt for Got

I have always wondered while driving by any empty house what their story was. That house that stands depleted from time and echos a history is very intriguing to me. Ghosts for not, there is always something left behind. From small treasures to artifacts or notes and pictures, yet I could never bring myself to enter any. I think it is because I do believe in ghosts.

A great spin on a ghost story as you use today's technology of a phone app to try and get in touch with the past of the house. Creepy none the less.This story was told in first person and held well all the way through as told in present tense.

An easy read without hiccups or errors I found myself a bit eager to find out what happened in the end. However I feel as the end was cut short and left me wondering what really happened. The last paragraph was unclear to me. Did she get away? Is this when her coach approached her? when the word RUN comes up on the app what does she do? How does she react. I think I was missing the wow factor.

Maybe if you chose to revise this story in the future you could add some length to it and bring the resolve to something a bit more chilling. Only a suggestion.

thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~





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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating ! Hello, my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I am here to review this story "The Legend of Lost Lake" which I found in your port.

Quite the love story? I don't think I would have tossed him over board either. *Wink* He does seem charming enough but yet moved a bit quick. It seems as though Marc knew Kara's situation before she even told him. That in itself would make me a bit skeptical.

This lake however sounds gorgeous and I don't any single woman who wouldn't want a handsome man paying a little bit of attention to her. I enjoyed the visual this story provided as well great dialogue. While using actions to bring each character to life was nicely added and kept me engaged.

Sentence structure was well written as well. Grammatical sense was used quite nicely.

This not being a high action story but still held a conflict of choices for Kara which is just as intriguing. We don't always have to have that great amount of action in a story.

I wouldn't mind seeing that wonderful lake turn gold, but hesitant to look above and see that ufo. Another dimension would give a curiosity for the observer. Kara has no idea what she is in for but literally was swept off of her feet!

thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~



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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi ! Hello! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I am here to review this story "The Burning Claws of Death" which I found in your wonderful port!

Shana being the main character is a girl who seems to be aloof when told stories of the house. Not to go in til after dark left her to question the advice. She was too hot to wait outside and decided to go in out of the heat. Her conflict is well knows as she faces the shadows of death. During the night the claws find her throat leaving her to thrash and knock over the oil lamp. Now the home is on fire and Shana is in the grips of a demon.
The resolve not being a happy one when her father finds his house in ashes and his daughter missing.

This sounds like the ripple effect. From one disaster to another in a matter of moments. I couldn't imagine her fear as she faced her own death all due to a bit of time waiting.

The story read well but there are a couple of typos as in past tense.You used the word sit quite often. It should be "sat". Otherwise it was a clear read with using the conventions of writing. The exposition introducing the character and setting the scene was well done. The rising action was apparent, bringing up to the time of a crisis and plot.

thank you for sharing
kind regard,
~LL~




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Review of Kill Them All  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi Fhionnuisce ! Hello! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have wondered into your port to find this story "Kill Them All" Intriguing title!

This was suspenseful without a doubt. A lot of twists and turns that had me wondering and then laughing. This poor guy is so angry and desperate to kill them all and he ends up on his butt full of wasp bites. Didn't go as expected now did it.

I really was expecting something greater to go down and down the stair well either. *Rolling* I also figured that the "president" probably wouldn't have anything to do with a custodian. He has men for that.. men in black?*Cool*

I was happy at the end when he wasn't able to finish off the job. It made the story that much lighter. In the beginning this guy was a bit on the loopy side but that was about it when we read on.

The exposition was great and set the tone and scene leading to the main character. It was clear that the rising action leading to the plot was planning the kill of the president and anyone else in his way. The falling action creates a bit of laughter and comedy leading to the resolution of failure on the main character's end.

I found no errors and it read well with no hesitation. Clear paragraphs and great grammar usage. Johnson is a strong character that doesn't think too highly of himself. A low self esteem can lead to ill thoughts.

thanks for the read
kind regards,
~LL~



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Review of Almost  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hi Cheri Annemos }! A very *Balloonr* Happy Birthday/WDC Anniversary *Balloony* from House Martell at "Game of Thrones" !

Hello ~Lifelessons~ here to review this story "Almost" which I found in your excellent port. I do love a great love story. This particular one brought back memories for me. The days of heading to the bar to meet friends.

Great literary works brought this to a great visual for me. Details were not over the top as it describes a setting scene and the main character. A fun character at that. One that is single and hopes to one day meet someone. The single life is not easy and meeting someone in a bar can be a crazy scene. I wonder if Mindy went further with that kiss would she have considered "hooking up with Tony" you know it happens but it seems Mindy has more couth than that.

The scene of the two kissing melted my heart and Tony seems to be quite the guy. I felt for her when she realized that she didn't get his name but wouldn't he have made sure she had it? Makes me wonder what Tony's intentions were.

Set back into her place by her grandfather Mindy is told that men will always chase her but family is there forever. This is so true in most cases..

I liked the title but since you are okay with suggestions I thought of "A Fluttered Heart" or "Still Single"

great little story and thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~



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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi elizjohn ! Hello my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have wondered into your port to find this story "She Protests Too Much"

I really liked this story told in mostly dialogue on the phone. Two people that remain friends for so long and still question their love. For me any two people that meet as friends first is always followed by a remarkable love. There is a trust and a fondness that goes beyond attraction. Let's be truthful and say that many relationships are based on physical attraction first, but when you grew with that person and watch each other grow, you see them in a totally different light. Some grow together and some grow apart.

It seems to me that "she" really did always love "him" but their lives went separate ways at some point. The longing and wonder is still there for both. Who knows if it could have been rekindled. "She" is married and her life is so much different but her heart remains back when she was younger.

This was a clear read that held a great tone as the narrator kept me in tune with great emotions of want and what ifs'

I only noticed a couple of typos but nothing that the narrator wouldn't see on their own.
Well spaced with good sentence structure. A conversation that left me in a bit of an ah!


thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~




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Review of Time  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi Jellyfish-on holiday ! Hello ~Lifelessons~ here to review this poem "Time" something that creeps up on us and leaves little choice to freedom.

Time never seems to be on anyone's side for the most part. It is up to us to use it wisely. Embrace the the seconds as new moments that will become too soon, a memory.

For some time is long and I think of Nanny at 94yrs old, just waiting for this longest day of her life to be over. Tomorrow will be yet the next longest day of her life. Sad isn't it? Life is revolved around this faceless, empty handed farce that dictates our lives.

A well written piece with many conventions that show great emotion from the narrator. With simile, hyperbole, metaphor , alliteration, assonance. You have nicely wrapped up a great free verse style of poetry.

*Shield7* Favorite Lines *Shield7*


It creeps upon you,
a panther in the night
leaving you devoid of breath,
empty handed,
faceless.

I enjoyed this very much as it sets a tone of the narrator. The meter was great and while using proper grammar sense you have created a wonderful enjambment. Nicely done.

suggestion

The second line "Modifies itself"
I would suggest changing it to Modifying itself only to keep that wonderful meter going. It was a bit of a hiccup for me.

Other wise a very great read!!
thank you for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~




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Review of Ombrophobia  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Hi Jellyfish-on holiday ! hello ~Lifelessons~ here to review this story "Ombrophobia" which I found in your port!

Well I have to agree that too much rain brings me down but, there is always a but! Rain is my greatest excuse to bury myself in writing or a good book. It flourishes my garden and my skin looks great!

A great little write about how you feel about rain. While reading this I came across Beer gardens! Okay so I live in Canada right and we went to the states one year for the July 4th weekend.. the whole beer garden thing had me roaring! I couldn't believe this is what people do when drinking..
I do love clothes on the line and yet some places around here don't allow clothes lines?! yeah believe that will you.. they say it reduces selling factors of homes around. Yet we are supposed to be a green earth generation. Right!!

I have never been afraid to walk in the rain but rather embraced a few times to dance in it. A bit of a free spirit when the "spirit" strikes me.. oops wrong garden.. *Whistle*

A lovely easy reading piece that I enjoyed very much. Everything was in it's place as far as structure and grammar. It held a great pace for the reader with a few chuckles. Thank you for that !

thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~



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Review of With Breakfast  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi Tab ! Hello my name is and I have wondered through your port to review this poem "With Breakfast"

Well I think that life does give us time to move forward. After the storm so to speak in a metaphorical way. We have to time to ponder new dreams and new dangles of the carrot. Sometimes we don't even see time slipping away and I think the gift to hold on to values is a gift. Something I treasure and never hope to lose.

Conventions of poetry allow the poet to express their emotions in a sense that the reader can relate to. Yet some poems aren't so clear and that is the lovely part about being the reader. Able to dig deep for a meaning of their own.

You have use lovely conventions that allow this poem to show me the deepness of it.
The use of metaphor, assonance, alliteration, enjambment and punctuation. This poem held a wonderful tone that held no hesitation.


I saw nothing I would change as it was clear to me the meaning that the narrator intended.


*Shield7* Favorite Lines *Shield7*


a dreamer's last dream
or a nightmare's last rider


these two lines have really stood out to me. I think because of the conventions used and I love the idea of a rider taking over or steering the mind into nightmares.

great poem
thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~


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Review of Dream Traveling  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi turtlemoon-dohi ! it's me again! ~Lifelessons~ here to review this poem "The Strobe Painting"

I won't lie when I tell you that I have experienced dream travel and yes it was just as beautiful as this poem. I just don't know where to begin here. There are so many things that I love and so many conventions that are so strong.

Alliteration

sweetgrass shrouded secrets unravel.
sweetgrass should be spaced / sweet grass
but this is a wonderful line that is full of soft sounds and hyperbole usage. Very wonderful as the grasses reveal it's secrets from the blown winds. lovely!

Assonance

Forgotten lit candles still blinking

I love candles that burn into the night.. a little smokey with that little last bit of glow.

hyperbole

A moonlight's flight begins.


what a pleasant thought. If the moonlight takes flight where would it bring us.


*Shield7* Favorite Lines *Shield7*



And blue-silver moonbeams
into dream catchers, through screens
barely dressed in old curtain lace.
With a look of intrigue on her face,
the sleeper leaves her worries behind,
as it is time.


This creates such a beautiful image for me. I love the night and the magic of natures pallet and you as the poet have provided me with a peaceful tranquil moment. As dreams are created and have taken us with them to another grand place. Leaving worries behind if only for a moment. beautiful!

thank you for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~

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Review of The Dance  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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Hi willwilcox! Hello my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have wondered into your wonderful port to find this story "The Dance"

An enchanting story filled with great imagery. I love the idea of unicorns and they stay right there in my dreams. I wonder if such a place exists and i wonder if I would have the nerve to take that drink.

A great creative piece filled with literary works that allowed me to see things so real as a reader. A distant memory that comes back to life for this elderly woman as she re tells her invitation to run with unicorns. I liked the retelling of the story but I wonder how it would read if told in the present. Would it be more magical and detailed?

It was a clear read with no hesitations. The dialogue was great with no issues of grammar or punctuation. Although the story is a children's story it held a certain adult quality. I would sense this to be in an older bracket series.

I was missing a wonderment by the child. What was she thinking? She must have had questions of what the unicorns looked like. She must have been in awe, and wanting more. I imagine her in bed dreaming of the same place and wishing upon the unicorns. The little details are what left me in question.

thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~




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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi rjsimonson ! hello! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have wondered into your port today to find this story "The Skies Reflection"

What a wonderful story that holds a great piece of advice. So many readers could connect with this. I loved how you used personification in this tale to allow the reader to connect. It goes with anybody that we don't see our worth or importance to the world. Nothing goes unmeasured and when we stop looking at the surface we can truly see what matters.
Just lovely!

I really enjoyed the display of this advice. Clear sentence structure and we as great characters. A simple read that held a great pace. There were no hesitations and followed through very well. I found no errors as far as punctuation or grammar. I loved the idea of the sky becoming human for one day. What would we do without the sky? We would be nothing.

My passion in nature and the sky is my space to take me away to another place. A playground for my muse so to speak. Like all of us we are important and beyond the reflection we need to take notice of purpose.

The dialogue was simple but just enough to introduce the story and what it is based on.

thank you for sharing,
kind regards,
~LL~




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Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Shield3* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield4*


Hi turtlemoon-dohi ! Hello! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have wondered into your port to find this poem "A Message Sent out to Sea"

A wonderful poem written in free verse form. So many conventions wrap this little package up nicely. Love that is unconditional is the eternal and without judgement or expectations. There is no loss as you say. Acceptance is part of no conditions. Boundaries are waived between two people and sometimes it can cause broken hearts.

Conventions of poetry are tools that when known can help us create a beautiful poetic piece of writing. When carefully using literary works we can create something that the reader connects with and is left in awe!

I noticed so many conventions in this piece that left feeling this way.
*Shield7* Favorite Line *Shield7*


letting go, not a loss, no lamenting,

I love the use of alliteration in this line that creating a wonderful tone for me. Emotional and a statement at the same time.

Also a great way of expressing enjambment with the punctuation. From line to line without and end in each stanza creates a lovely flow. Assonance was used well throughout this piece.

another favorite line

awakened and encouraged by moonlight's
shimmering water-song

how pretty is that!

beautiful poem and quite quite true even in the world of Melodrama!

Thank you for the read,
kind regards,
~LL~









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Review of Whisper  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi JMRobison ! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have wondered into your port to find this intriguing story "Whisper"

Well well well, Whisper is quite the character isn't she? Very well done and with conviction I might add.

I felt Whisper's confidence from the cell right into the center of the pulpit. She knew what would happen that night and I didn't question her faith on that. It seems as though she wanted to have that last conversation with the magistrate. Why wouldn't she? She wanted to state her reasoning and toy with his mind.

I think you took this prompt to a great level of writing. It was dark but I was cheering for Whisper the whole time. A great sense of literary works brought this story to life for me.

The narrator uses first person and did a great job in keeping up with the past and present tense. A very clear read with great dialogue as well as imagery.

The exposition was wonderful with details just enough to introduce the character and her conflict. The rising action taking us to the pulpit where crisis begins. Falling action was awesome and well shown as Whisper reclaims her freedom. The resolution left the reader with a Yes! Good for her.

There were no issues with sentence structure, punctuation or grammar. A very well thought out story!
Thank you for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~



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Review of MATCHBOX UNDIES  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi SandraLynn Team Florent! ! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have found this story "Matchbox Undies" that was a chuckle in itself!*Rolling*

Well this story brought back so many memories of my own barbie collection. I adored her!! Super Star Barbie was my favorite. Her pink silk gown and a glittered star pendant. Yet back then i don't think we wanted to look like her as much as wanted to dress her up. Today's variation of barbie is to the extreme!!

So moving on with the missing match box panties!! HA *Ha* could this be a new singing group like "Match Box Twenty" Oh yes I can see it now!

This was a very cute story and one that a lot of girls could relate to. I enjoyed the walk down memory lane and the idea of panties for barbie! We used to make barbie clothes from socks and what ever else we could find.. even the panties or bikini bottoms. We would take baby tights and cut the toe off and make little slits for the legs!! Imagination rules but i am betting yours were maybe a slip stitch times two..lol

This was an easy read and I chuckled along the way. It was written with a quick pace which related to the excitement of the story. I didn't really find mistakes but I wasn't looking either. The story grabbed my attention as a light read.

thank you for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~




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170
170
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Hi Noyoki ! Hello! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I came across this story "A Summer To Remember"

I would say that is a summer to remember. This one goes down in the books. yes parents to preach for a reason but for some everything is beyond reason and left in doubt. Some have to go beyond the boundaries to "understand" what going too far means. For Jess, going too far could mean his life.

I can't believe that his friends left him!! This how kids get hurt and some don't survive! Crazy of him to push the limits.
I wonder if he made it out okay?

You used the words that were in bold very well. I had no issues with following the story. However the exposition could have been a bit more clear as to setting the scene. Sometime literary words are used to enhance a story but in this story it really didn't need to be. I wasn't sure exactly what was going on until the half way through the story. This doesn't mean it was bad but if you revise it and maybe have Jess concentrate from the beginning the reader would have a clear visual of the setting.
This being such a short story. Words should be chosen carefully to grab the reader's attention right away.

However i didn't see any errors as far as punctuation or grammar. I did pick up on the fear of Jess's situation without a doubt.

thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~





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171
171
Review of Secret Cave Swim  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
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Hi Schnujo is Late to Lannister ! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I wondered through your port today to find some amazing things. I chose to review this story "Secret Cave Swim"

A story that held along of visual for me. Some great literary works that allowed me to see just about everything from the cave, to colors, the water, the shadows, moon and stars.
"She" was very content in the water but also very aware of her surroundings. Carefully set in a tranquil state of mind I would say.

A few questions for the reader. Who exactly was "She"? Why was she there? What was the game? Who were her prey? Was she human? A mermaid? An animal? As the reader I enjoyed the story but it was really a setting of a scene without answers to these questions I felt lost. I sensed some conflict but little. The exposition was clear enough for me to follow the story knowingly and prepared for what was to come. Nothing happened really.

The resolve of this story however allowed me to believe that she once again made it through another swim without being found.

If you choose to revise this story and allow me to read it again I would love that. I think this story has potential of becoming a great story as the narrator paints a vivid picture of the cave and her surroundings. A few minor typos but nothing you wouldn't see if you choose to take a second look.

The module for short stories varies and some writers have their own way of waxing and weaning their words, but there are some rules to writing that just benefit all writing.

thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~



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172
172
Review of The Confession  
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating ! Hello My name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have been roaming through your port! I came across this story "The Confession"

I chose this story because it is dialogue. A strong convention in most stories. It should allow the reader to be absorbed with actions while speaking, character strength and a over all feel of a story.

Interesting dialogue! A conversation such as is gave me the willies. could you imagine someone confessing something as horrible as this. Great creativity in the piece as the narrator gets into the criminal's mind. Yet the criminal is so open because he knows he has to die for his sins and what else is there to lose. He wants his mother's graces when he crosses over. Now if his sister was taken this way, I have to wonder why this guy would chose to do something that was done to his own sister. It really makes one wonder what makes another human tick.

I had no issues with the dialogue as this is what the prompt was. I have written on dialogue piece myself and it seems easy but without action it isn't so easy. Giving details through conversation alone can be difficult.

I didn't feel the tension in this piece but I felt the overwhelming feeling of being disturbed. If this is what the narrator wanted to convey then it was done quite nicely.

Sentences were clear and without hesitation. I was able to stay engaged throughout. I saw very minor typos but nothing worth mentioning. Could be a great sequel to a longer story. This could make for a great exposition to something longer.

Thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~





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173
173
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Harry ! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have found this humorous poem in your amazing port of poetry!

This was quite funny and as I read it I thought about myself. I think I used to worry about those little things when I was younger wanting to play house? But these days there are too many other things to worry about than the woollies under the couch.

I don't lose too much sleep over such things anymore. I do love to clean but I think I do so when I worry about something. Nervous energy if anything. I do however ask the hubby to lift his feet or vacuum around his recliner while he watches golf. Yeesh!

A great example of rhyme scheme with great meter. This poem held a lovely sense of humor while keeping to the great conventions of poetry.

*Shield7* Favorite Lines *Shield7*



For example, while watching a TV
show, she’ll say seemingly out of the blue,
“I know hiding under the couch must be
dust harboring a microbial zoo.”


These lines gave me a visual of this couple sitting in the living room and the wife pops out with something leaving the husband to think, "Really, now? Why on earth would you think of that now?" LOl I really did get a chuckle as most women are this way. Men and woman do think differently on mostly everything. Men are in the present moment as women think about yesterday, tomorrow and right now!!
The use of Microbial zoo also gave me a chuckle.. great choice of words here.

Comical , and uplifting read.

thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~







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174
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Harry ! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I have wondered into your magical port of poetry and came across this poem "The Mockingbird Poems". I love nature and love poetry so I was quite intrigued to read on.

The mockingbird holds quite a podium in the world of poetry and creative writing. So in that alone I can see why he would be so important. You have written two poems that hold two sides of why the mockingbird sings at night. One well written and whimsical while the next brings us into the darker side of the poets thoughts. Both well done and logical. A creative writer can get into the deeper side of just about anything.

I see the wonderful books you have through your link so yes as I review this, I feel a bit nervous. Yet I think I have devoted enough time to poetry as it is my own passion that I can review this with some confidence.

There are so many conventions in these two poems and you used them all very well. With Assonance, alliteration, simile, hyperbole, the use of personification, proper punctuation, in-line rhyme , enjambment and so many others. Imagery was wonderful as it allowed me to see both sides of the mockingbird and what he has to offer.

I think I will stick to the lighter side!*Wink* although I love the great creative darkness that the poet has conveyed to me. Getting through the night of a quite eerie darkness and depending on the song of the mockingbird for hope of light. Very well done!



thank you for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~


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175
Review by ~Lifelessons~
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi QueenOwl ~ A New Day Dawns ! my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I am reviewing this story which I found in your port!

I loved this story! I do believe in being visited by spirit. It has happened to me three times. Very chilling but very real. The exposition of this story is wonderful as you show me the details of growing up with Nanay Tuwang. She sounds like a wonderful lady but one that "could" drive one crazy! I say that lightly because I have a nanny that can do the same to me.

I wonder if your cousin had any visits as well seeing as he was so close to her. But they say spirit doesn't come through to those that are too close or are grieving too hard. They aren't open enough to acceptance.

This story was written well with great sentence structure. A true story making it that much more intriguing. The sense of conflict was apparent and hey the resolve wasn't that great for the writer but an experience that will always be remembered.

I loved the part where your grandmother compares your cousin as big as a bottle of coke!! That was funny! I heard of a pound of butter but never a bottle of coke.

There was humor and sadness, annoyance and happiness. Great emotions make for a wonderful story. I felt your pain, wonder, anger, and disposition. When stories are real they are sometimes the hardest to write but you did a great job.

thanks for sharing
kind regards,
~LL~





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