As always another beautiful poem from you. I am particularly captivated by the concept of this piece though. The idea that a single second a heartbeat can last an eternity is just so incredible to me. I am floored by the profundity of this idea.
What an incredible testament to undying love. Bravo.
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This is by far not my favorite of your poems. It is a rather depressing outlook of online life. I try to not be so cynical. I know many people do use the internet to hide from real life and live vicariously through others but that is certainly not every case.
There are some people that the internet is a window to the world they would not otherwise have. What about the people who are unable to join the world because of physical limitations. The ones who are not hiding but are actually virtual prisoners.
I realize this is your poem and not mine, so I am out of line. I apologize. This is still a very well written and powerfully moving poem, just darker than I would like. But who am I to judge. :)
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Well, I know next to nothing about poetry so I have no idea what Septolet is but I do know when a poem speaks to me. And this one does.
This poem resonates with me because it expresses some of my favorite life themes. Mainly that life is short and you have to stop to appreciate the day or it will pass you by. You can't go back. It's like that old saying, remember the past, plan for the future, but live in the present.
I am amazed that you can convey that much meaning with so few words. You really are a talented poet. Well done.
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I'm starting to sound like a broken record but I can't help it. This is another truly beautiful poem. I love the similar but contrasting statements that really drive home the sentiment of inconsolable grief. It is a very colorful and effective technique.
This is just another great poem that I like very much. You are a genuine bard. Bravo!
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This is a beautiful poem. I think it is a wonderful tribute to your wife and the love you share. I can only imagine how honored she must feel.
I would be remiss not to speak to the profound sentiment and context. I love the analogy, what color is love? That question says it all really. And much more eloquently than "love is blind." It puts the case before the court and anyone unable to understand should remain silent.
You have a beautiful grasp of romantic language. Bravo.
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Wow, I am utterly blown away but this magnificent poem. I love everything about it. The story, the language and the rhyme. The rhyme alone is truly remarkable.
I am amazed at the depth and richness of the story you tell. I feel as though I just read an entire book or watched a movie not read a short poem. The atmosphere and amount of story you tell in these few verses is incredible. This poem is truly epic in my opinion.
I can't believe this was the second place winner. I would really like to read first place. Anyway, I love the poem. You have a great gift for storytelling. Well done.
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Oh, I love this poem. It speaks of many of my favorite things knights, witches, quests, and death. Your incredible gift for language paints such marvelous pictures in the mind.
I can see the witch casting her spell of luring, watching it travel through woods like smoke from a fire. I can see the knight following the lure like a hungry man follows the scent of food. I witness their meeting in the forest and feel the ominous air.
This is just an awesome poem. I enjoyed it very much. Well done!
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This is truly a poignant six word story. It is in the same league as Hemingway's Baby Shoes. I like it very much. I am amazed that you can tell a story of Alzheimer's with so few words but you do so quite thoroughly. It is a sad and hopeless tale. One all to well known. How did you do in the contest?
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This poem certainly came as a surprise. Where is the eloquent language and the Gothic style? Where are the haunting metaphors and the tortured souls?
I'm sorry, I don't mean to mock you. I like this style of poem very well. This piece asks some very profound questions that really make the reader think.
Personally, I think the answer to your questions is... We do appreciate life. We realize it is a miracle not to be taken lightly. That is why we exist in spite of all the ways we have of destroying ourselves.
It is very true that the day we stop valuing life will be a terrifying day indeed. Great poem.
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This is an awesome poem and speaks to a phenomena that has long since fascinated me. I am constantly amazed at how wrong our preconceived notions can be. I will speak with someone online and think they are one thing and soon learn they are the complete opposite of what I thought. It teaches a valuable lesson. Great pome, great message. Well done.
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I have to say I am a fan but this piece is a bit too obscure for my tastes. I gather from the last stanza that the choice being made has to do with God vs Satan but nothing really in the first two stanzas help with that conclusion. Perhaps I am just dense, that is a distinct possibility but this poem while beautiful as always is just too covert for my understanding. Sorry.
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What a marvelous story. It is a timeless theme of pride going before the fall, though I have never heard it presented in this format. This is excellent and I enjoyed this tale very much.
You do an amazing job with rhythm and rhyme the pacing and flow of this poem is excellent. The language is beautiful but concise and easy to follow. This is an amazing example of great storytelling. I applaud you. Bravo!
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This goes beyond beautiful and straight into mesmerizing. I love everything about this piece. It is haunting it is eloquent it speaks of loss and lives not appreciated until they are gone. It is mournful and true. Life is short and we are all returning to the dust from which came. We are all dancing to decay. What a brilliant and profound statement. This is my favorite poem of your so far. It really is lovely in its gloom. Bravo!
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I like this poem very much. The sentiment and message are sincere and clear. It is one I understand and can agree with, much of today's modern horror is nothing more than regurgitated swill with a modern day "cool" spin or even worse some teenage nocturnal fantasy that can't even be called horror in the blood crazed eyes of the true fans.
This poem very cleverly and eloquently challenges today's writers to come up with tales that rival the timeless classic. Where is our modern day Poe? Who will take Lovecraft's place? Is there no one willing to rise to the challenge?
Excellent poem. Bravo!
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Wow, well this poem is just frightening. The torture and pain are so thick you can cut them with a knife. I can hear the screams of the dying. This poem calls up imagines of Countess Bathory and her castle of death. It evokes fear and loathing while luring the masses ever onward. This poem tells a truly horrifying tale. Well done.
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This is another poem of yours that I like very much but that has an almost cryptic feel. The thing I love most about your poems is your remarkable ability to create a beguiling atmosphere. Everything you write just exudes dark Gothic beauty. It really is more a feeling that a statement. It speaks of darkness, loss and things in between. The effect is quite stunning. Bravo.
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This like all your poems is very powerful and moving. I love this story this poem tells. A lost soul redeemed and soaring from the confines of hell to worship God in the glory of heaven. The language and clarity with which you tell the story is exceptional. Well done.
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I love the icy hatefulness of this poem. Winter is not coming in like a lamb it is coming in crushing everything in its path and poor Autumn is the one to suffer. There is so much visually and emotionally going on in this poem it overloads the senses. I like it very much. Well done.
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I have to say I like this poem very much. The dark and ominous style of it reminds me of Poe. Although, I must admit it is a bit cryptic in places I am not sure of every detail going on. It is still hauntingly beautiful and melancholy. The Gothic presence is palatable. Well done.
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What a beautiful poem about a lovely child and an awesome time of year. I can see this little girl enjoying herself in the summer sun. I have to say the rhyming scheme and flow of this poem is exceptional. This really is an awesome poem. It's bright and happy just like the summer sun and the child it is about. Well done.
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My gosh, what a haunting tale. This is a fine example of exceptional storytelling. Your rhyme scheme and pacing are phenomenal. The story itself is deep and tragic. The teenager is typical and endearing. The whole poem is just a shining sample of a great great story.
There is one phrase that I think sums up the whole message of this profound poem. Here:
She carries her problems with her
although she hasn’t left a thing.
This to me just drives home the point that you can't run away from your problems no matter how hard you try or how far you go. You take them with you everywhere. That is just brilliant. Bravo.
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This is a very powerful poem. The way you describe the plight of the homeless is authentic and genuine. The reader can tell you have an intimate knowledge of the hardships they face. I read somewhere that over 90% of homeless suffer from alcoholism or severe mental disorders, so this poem represents those groups too.
It seems to me if as a society we focused more on helping the mentality ill and dependent we would eliminate so many other social problems in the process. This poem brings these issues out in the open is an incredibly articulate and skillful way. It truly speaks for the people. Well done.
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This is a great example of supreme storytelling. I like this tale very much. You do such a phenomenal job of setting the atmosphere with this piece I actually feel like I have been to the dark heart of Africa. It was quite thrilling.
I am completely captivated with the Edgar Rice Burroughs type Tarzan feel this piece exudes. It is so classic and well written it really is enchanting. I haven't read anything like it since I was young and it brought back nostalgic memories of summers spent sharing imaginative and frightening adventures in the unexplored reaches of the world.
This story caught my attention with the amazingly vivid descriptions and once captured there was no escaping this lost world. I particularly loved the detailed depiction of the platform. That couple with the rhythmic beating of the drums gave the whole atmosphere a King Kong vibe. At that point I really had no idea what was going to come forth from the jungle. It was a brilliant and suspenseful moment. One of many throughout the story.
I know because of the contest rules you are restricted on word count but once the contest is over and said restrictions no longer apply, I would love to see you devote some more time to character development on this piece. I think you have wonderful characters. James is very colorful with his accent and Fiona and the professor both seem likable. But the reader really knows very little of the narrator and I personally would like to get to know these people better. I want to develop relationships with them so that I care about them when they meet their demise.
Overall, I think this is an awesome story. I enjoyed it very much. It is incredibly well written with an atmosphere so rich and thick you can cut it with a machete. I am so glad you entered it in the Daily Slice contest. Good luck and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
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Great poem, that addresses a phenomena that has always confounded me as well. Why ask if you don't want to know. It's amazing how quickly the other party has to leave if you proceed to tell the truth.
You do an excellent job of expressing this exact same sentiment so precisely but eloquently. The rhythm and rhyme of this piece is very well done and it flows beautifully. I enjoyed it very much. Bravo.
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My god, talk about conflicting emotions. I am so confused about how I feel about this piece of writing I'm beside myself. Good job. You do such an excellent job of putting us inside the mind of this bomber it is absolutely chilling. I still have goosebumps.
I have never even attempted to understand the reasoning behind such fanatical actions but you explain the reasoning so well that I actually can understand how a poor soul can be duped into committing atrocity. This is just an exceptional piece of writing.
I can only imagine how difficult this story must have been for you to write. I wrote a story about a school shooting from the mind of the perpetrator but it is nowhere near the caliber of piece that this is. I am blown away. Bravo.
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