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Okay, the one thing that stands out in my mind - the first paragraph , you are narrating it and then the last paragraph, she is talking. It is best to keep all of the story with one POV. Instead of she, I think you should use I - I saw the angels They told me a name and it was mine, Liv. see, you should use her point of view from the first person in the entire story. What's the old saying, show, don't tell. Using I, she will be showing.
The sentence below; should be rewritten. Something like: Men with War cries follower me for days. I can't stop, I can't let them catch me. Do you see what I mean.
War cries followed her for hours, men for days. She couldn't stop. She wouldn't let them catch her.
The hand felt like a distant pulse as my ankle retched pain. Your ankle cannot vomit. How about throbbed or screamed with pain.
They forcefully twisted. This should be "It"/he or rewrite that sentence. Its right hand grabbed just above my ankle and then its left hand took my foot and forcefully twisted it.
It is important to put space between your writing. It will make it easier for the reader. You have a good start on a story.
These are only my thoughts. If you wish not to use them, that's your choice. Please read it out loud and you can catch some errors that way. Keep on writing!
Great Story! I wasn't sure I wanted to read about Zombies, but I am glad I read yours. for once there weren't five or more coming out of the wood works after him, with Aunt Matilda in the front. And, when he fell, he wasn't surrounded by five or more of them. He had a job to do and he was going to do it. I like the way you added that Aunt Matilda was a hoarder. That would make the house smell really bad. I have watched a few episodes of the TV series and stopped watching it because I just don't understand the people that do this. They say it is mental, but I can't imagine having your children lived in that situation. I watched one where they found a dead person. Not the owner who was really bad, but they decided a homeless person came in and it was impossible to know anyone was there.
You setting, description and plot were very good. Your characters were believable, well all except the zombie.
I could smell the vomit when he vomited and slid in it. Ewww! Horrible. and with all the stuff packed into the house I could see it and smell it. Of course, the zombie had to smell because she really was dead. Your descriptions, characterization and the rest flowed so very well throughout the story. I liked the ending so much better than the movie endings or the series endings. She was dead. She didn't try to attack, she ran instead. And the part about feeling her soul, made this even better.
Thanks for sharing your story and you keep on writing as you are very talent!
I am puzzled by this writing. Is this someone who is writing and loving the words they are putting on paper? Or has this person quit writing and enjoying their freedom away from the pen and paper? And finally getting something to eat as they have not eaten the whole time they were writing? Next you have this person seeing themselves and they are not shocked by what they see and seems to know that this is what they look like when they have been writing non-stop. the paper white skin and the blue eye shadow or pencil painted under their eyes. doesn't really look that good. And these headaches. Are they a part of their writing too? They become so tense they get these painful headaches? And where are all these beautiful colors come from? Could it really be just the sunset? This person seems to be reaching out for new words. They want a lot of new words so they can write some more and finish what they are writing about. It seems then they sit down, grab a pencil or pen and paper and begin to write as much as they can to finish their story. It's very sad though when you think of the way this is written with people forgetting the story after reading it. If it really is a god story, that won't happen. the story will continue to grow and satisfy many others. I guess I can say the Title fits the story. As for your plot and characters, I just don't know. either way, it did seem to flow till the end, but what was I reading?
I read this once before, but I think nothing stuck. I apologize for the wrong rating I had on The House On BayView Road. I will try to remember to notice exactly what I am writing and put the correct one.
Amen! This is a very good article. I never thought of the pack mentality, but you are so right. These days,everyone is guilty until proven otherwise.This is something that happen many times in the past. The news media has become the pack leader as far as I am concerned. They report news which has not been researched to make sure it is correct and they even make up their own stories to make themselves look important. Celebrities are the chosen. Not every day, common ordinary people. What they say is the God's truth. No pun intended. It only takes one person to voice an injustice and the pack begins to gather. One after another following what one person says and not even wondering where they got their information. Just followers. One evil leader is all it takes.
What has happened to us? Once we were really good people, who lived by the bible and Gods word. Now anyone can be the one, and others fall all over themselves to be their assistant.
I enjoyed your quotes from the bible. More people should read it. I have to say, I am one who does not read every day, but I have studied some of the bible. Most of it in fact. Go ahead and kick me so I will get back to it.
Great article, great writing. Thank you for sharing these words. Keep writing these articles. Heck, just keep on writing!
I think this is a cute little story and I can see it in a picture book. I do think you need a little more elaboration on the story, but you have a great start. Little boys are always thinking about what they want to be. Now days, it's a soldier or policeman riding on a horse, or maybe a Mountie, depending on where he lived. Some do still think about dragons. They might have even thought about being pilots or magicians. It seems as those are long past. I guess that is why I like your story so much. The grownups think of real things, but the little boy comes up with a play thing. Way to cute. Now if they had said how about being an explorer like Indiana Jones and exploring the world or like a sponge bob where you could live down in the ocean and see all the pretty fish, he might have accepted that. Now days children are exposed to way to many things and the Santa's, the tooth fairy, ghosts on Halloween just isn't anymore.
I love where you end your story with mommies and daddies always understand. Great ending!
Keep on writing the little children's, picture book stories and you will get better and better,you'll see.
I don't know if I would consider this an article, but a story. I agree this is a wonderful and insightful one. Why? Because, like you, God does see and know all. This is the way it has always been and will always be. I am not sure this is a true story, but if it is, I too know the loss of a child and it leaves a great hole in your heart. Yes, time helps, but even now I still cry and I hope to see her again one day. I love the way your transition this story from, being the woman as being young and having young children, then going into her later years, keeping her bible with her and reading it daily. Next she hers another son, who must be quite a bit of age, has cancer. How very hard this is. I have an Aunt who had seven children. Her first two born sons were killed in a scuba-diving accident off a California coast. They were like 18 months apart. They were professionals and had taken a group down, when a husband and wife got into trouble. They made the others go up and they went down to help. They went to far and what they think happened is that they became disoriented. The oldest came up and lived long enough for her to see him before he passed. The other one was found a few days later and it wasn't pretty. That was the beginning. Next, as her daughters became older, one had cancer and died. Then another. Now one more has cancer. She was a big help to me when I lost the one. She said the first two she walked around in bubble for a year or more, then as each one died, she became immune to it. I don't really think that happened, but, if it helps her then so be it. She is a very religious person and believes she will see them all when she dies. Just like your story. The lady finally was able to be reunited with the ones she had lost. Again, I truly believe this. it is Gods will we do, not our will. He is our father and he gave his son to us to save us from our sins.
Beautiful story you have here. I did notice a few things you could change, one being below as an example.
I was a happy mother and I had three sons and we loved each other, than the worst thing could happen. THAN should be THEN.Sometimes it helps to read the story aloud. this will help you find the things you need to change.
Gosh, don't you wish this really happens. What a wonderful story you have written. For her to leave the checkbook under his car to find, so he would find her. Happy Accident, maybe. She set it up, but she did it because of this group of Transcendent Awareness. I am understanding more as I write this review. With the people in question, Valerie and his wife, they set things in motion for the dead people to find another soul mate, or at least someone to share their life with. Pretty amazing. I tis ashamed he did not take her things out to put up. Then he would have found her journal that would have explained to him what all of this was about. A data base for people dying. Interesting. Are you like Orson Wells, what he came up with has come to pass. Maybe this is what is going to happen in our future. NO, I am teasing you, but, who knows? You tend to write a pretty convincing story... your title is perfect for this story. the setting, the plot all flowed together well. Your characters are very believable. I have read 6 of your stories, one I believe only one, being a poem. Every one of them are so good. As I said, you are a very talent writer and I, for one am so glad you are a part of WDC. This way I can stop over once in awhile and read something else. Keep on writing! I say another 5 stars here!
It's funny you starting out with, "I saw him today." Why, because it happens to a lot of people who had lost a love one. So far I haven't with my mom and dad, but I think I saw my sister one day. the lady looked just like her. funny, I've been going over times we spent together. We didn't always have fun, but as we grew older and became closer, we did. I remember when she and her husband bought a house on Crystal beach right next to the lady we grew up with. She was a great neighbor. At the time there was only a very large room, one small bathroom and one light bulb hanging down with a light bulb in it. Now, my sister and I would drive down together and my mother would meet us there and we would spend the weekend together. ONe day, I got tired of it being so darn dark in the big room. No one could really read very well in the dark. Oh, she had brought a couple of lamps, but it was still hard. The chairs to sit in for reading were in the dark. I asked her if she had a light bulb and she said yes. So I preceded to pull a table up so I could stand on it to change a light bulb. It was really high up on the ceiling. Once I was standing on the table my mother commenced to keep saying for me to get down right now! I kept telling her I was just fine and she kept saying "you're going to fall." Now, I knew I wasn't but she continued her rave. Now, my mom is/was a good woman and meant well, but my sister and I made a joke out of it. We would say, "How many Mahan's would it take to screw in a light bulb? Mom did not like the joke, but my sister and I couldn't help but laugh.
How in the world did I get off on this? Okay, seeing my sister. I have seen other people who have passed away and thought gosh there so and so. No they look just like them.
Your title is wonderful and fits your story well. The plot, characters and setting are perfect. Your description is wonderful. Sorry I took off on a tangent, but that is what your story evoked from me. It is an excellent story and very well written.. Thanks for sharing with all the folks at WDC.
"Gods Telephone" is a wonderful and very touching story. I couldn't figure out why yo named it that until I got to it. I absolutely loved your son! Yes, I know he gave you a lot of grief, but look at the stories you have to tell. Of course there is always a mothers wanting him not to do these things, but again, knowing he was a bright young man, how could you yell at him. I had to laugh about the turtle. Most kids would be yelling for their mom. He seemed so laid back about it and since he wasn't tense, the turtle let go of him.
When the police came I was scared of what had happened and so it went, something bad did. I can't even imagine a woman who has lost her husband, now faces losing her son, her only son. No siblings to be there and help her. I couldn't help but cry. I really did lose my daughter so this really touched me down deep in my soul. I was so glad your son didn't die and he still was a kid who did things other kids just don't do. It is weird he was bitten by a Copperhead just last year. Thank goodness for the venom the hospitals get to stop what is happening to their body. Again, I cried when he called from Heaven and said he and his dad were together and they loved her and wanted her to go on.
Your hook, the plot and setting flowed beautifully. Coming from you telling the story was very good. Your characters and description were written very well. This is a really great story and I thank you for sharing!
WOW! This is a scary story. In the beginning I thought it was just a young man setting out to prve himself and the fact Friday 13th wasn't a scary day. I should have guessed when he knew exactly where he was going and taking the thirteenth of everything. Some people just tempt fate all th time. Like walking under a ladder, or crossing before a black cat. Now thta one I don't believe because so any people have black cats, or, are they their familiars? I onced stayed ina house that had thirteen diffent types ad colors of carpet in it. nd believe it or not, it was haunted. Of course when the lady knew his name and said he had signed the guest book, I too remembered that he had not signed any book as he had just come into the house. I then thought hmmmm. Oh well. When he reched upstairs and couldn't find the thirteenth room he should have quit right then, I would have. But no, he was determined to find it and woe is he, but he did. NOw, not in my imagination would I have ever thought of this part of your plot. He was part of this whole thing. He had been around for two hundred years and had been able to get out evry now and then. He caused the fire that killed his friends and himself. Now that was scary.
Your title matched the story. You hooked me from the very beginning when you started with the Friday the thirteenth.
I thought your setting and the pont of view from him was great. Your story flowed well and your character was well written, including your descriptions.
Keep up your writing! You are a very talented writer!
This is a very sad story. A young girl loses her father and then finds that she to wants to die. How very sad for her. Who is Lee? Her brother or her moms close male friend? I didn't quite figure that out. I am assuming he is the close Male friend because he made the statement he wanted to be in her life (her moms life) more. I felt her pain as she slept in his office and even though she became cold, she didn't choose to go anywhere else. Listening to her story of eating out almost all the time and how the food really didn't seem good to her, made me realzie more and more how much she was depressed. Why doesn't her mother recognize this and try to help her I don't know. I think going to the resteraunts you like is really sad. I think if it were me and I had a young girl, I would make sure to go other places because going to the ones you always liked or went to just made his death worse. I am only guessing that he must hav ekilled himself. At least he tried and ended up in the hospital. Of course he could have just been very ill, but you don't say either way. Again, your title mimicks the story and it is well written. the setting, the scenry, all of it flowed very well. Keepup the great work!
So beautiful. I wrote a story about an ornament my daughter brought me. If you are like me, you have ornaments that mean so much to you. OH, Ihad to buy a few, not so pretty ornaments just to fill n the bald spots, but the rest all have some emaning to me. You talked about the Silver Bell and a Wonderful Life. I use to play Silver Bells on the piano during holidays and I remember Bing Crosby singing it. I really love that song.Its a Wonderful Life we watched every year as long as I can remember. Mom, dad, my sister and me. It wasn't until the 10,000th time I finally quit watching because I knew it word for word. A great show it was and still is. And Frosty, who could forget Frosty the snowman. As yo grow up you teach it to your little ones and in return, they teach it to theirs. this is another one I loved to play on the piano. Wasn'it it Milton Burl that sang that one?
I would cry too if I had an angel, sounding like mom ad dads' voice, reciting the story of Christmas. I do have a type of start ornament they use to put on their tree. It is gold (abit worn though) and to me it is still beautiful.
I loved your poem, as you cn see it brought so many memories to my mind and I thank you for that. Keep writing as you work is great.
For a flash fiction, it is a really good story. Of course this was written a long time ago, but it is still beautiful today. I guess we all have some type of romance which sticks in our mind and we wish we had done something different than what we did.
I had a young man I was really in love with. We met in Kindergarten. NOw don't laugh. The teachers had to sit us at different tables because they thought we shouldn't be together so much. Now that I am older, I think to myself, aww, come on guys, we were only five years old. We went to school from Kindergarten to Middle school, which at that time ended at the ninth grade. I wil never forget while in school and it was Christmas time,hs mom drove him to my house so her could give me a Christmas gift. I didn't get him one beacause I never thought him would think to do it. It wasa the largest Tedd Bear made of turquoise. It was bigger than me. I was speechless. I think we kissed, maybe once. I truly believe if I had continued to High School with him, we would have married. HOwever, my mother decided to send me to another school was was a bit more upper crust. I was crushed as i didn't make but maybe a couple of friends and I didn't get to see Michael anymore. He did marry and had a little boy. I found out from, my sister-in-lae he died in Vietnam. I couldn't help but cry like a baby.
But now, I have the sweetest ost wonderful husband and we have been married 52 years. thhings do turn out don't they.
Obvisously your story touched me. Your title was wonderful and your character and description worked well together. I am going to look this painting up becasuse I am curious (Ithink I know which one it is) and I love painting. I have been doing it for almost 60 years.
Your story flowed and was beautiful. I look foward to reading more of you work.
WOW! I can't even imagine riding a Buffalo. They are so magnificent and so very powerful. I too am a wuss when it comes to animals so I can identify with you and your loss. It is wonderful and amazing you were able to raise him and he loved you so. Wild animals aren't that easy to deal with, but you go head-long into it without a doubt.
You title, setting, flow and your point fo view worked very well with this story. Your plot wrote itself. There weren't many characters in it, if any other than you and the Bison. Your description of everything that took place was great. I think it was sad you couldn't get him to like other people. why do these people rip the calves away from their mother? I understand if the mother dies, say in giving birth, but I really don't understand the latter of the two.
I opened my arms, and Billy galloped, and stopped in front of me, snuggling and licking me with his rough tongue. He made sweet little noises as he rubbed all over my body. Most of the tourists acted terrified. Finally, I started walking back to Billy's small paddock with him beside me. He easily climbed into the pen. I had a talk with Billy, telling him even if he didn't see me all the time, I was with him forever. I told Fowler later that we needed another log on the top. He didn't say anything and I had an idea of what was going on.
This is my very favorite part. With Billy running to you. What a rush that must have been! No one but you. WOW!
I don't think you ever get over losing an animal. Yes, as time goes by they do become a memory, but it sure takes awhile doesn't it?
I only saw two errors. These are below. the truth be known, I wasn't really looking for any grammatical errors, but these stood out.
them all. up.
long time. I fact
I am getting ready to read the story about gators. I do not like these creatures at all. I am anxious to find out what you have to say on the subject. Keep writing these wonderful stories about your wards. I love reading them.
Just wonderful! NOt only did the Title fit, but the entire story gave a beautiful message to all. You hooked me right away when you talked of the Ute boys giving him a hard time. Not unnlike today where any childd that is different is made fun of.
This wonderful young man, who was frightened to go on his quest for his special vision. Yet he makes up his mind he wants to know what it to be for him. it was sad reading how disgusted his fater was with him, but his mother made up for it. NOt having to be able to hunty and take care of her was av ery big burden to his soul. He wanted to, but couldn't.
You setting was great with the Medicine Man and your description of where he went to fid this vision. Your characters were so believable that it was very easy for me to see them as I read. HIs point fo view was interesting especially when he was there listening and waiting for his vision. I love the fact you put the Eagle there to give him the clues. Great writing. The flowed so very well and once again it gave a very good message to all. Don't think of yourself any less because you have a disability.
DArn, you left me hanging. Your title is perfect for this strange tale of yours. Robin went on a journey she probably would never forget, but I want to know what happened? She seem to be a very nice young lady and all and driving the elderly woman to her new home. And I certainly thought your character of her was quite good. I for one have been to many of these places, and I think there really is a Pikes Peak Motel. Somewhere in my mind of younger days I think my parents and I stayed there. YOur scenery was right on the mark as I recall it. PIkes Peak took my breath away and I was young but I remember they had oxygen up there for people that had a hard time with the altitude. Now I can't even go to Colorado Springs, which I dearly love, because I can't breathe. Your description of
the village reminds me of many of the little villages that you can visit in Colorado. I remember going to Silver Dollar City when it was a real historical place. I fell in love with it. When my husband I went back, it had many bars along the streets. It took away the beauty of the town and the history behind it.
Are you going to to do a follow up to this story, because if you do I would love to read it. Good writing, great stories, you are great. Keep up the good work.
This is beautiful. Memories of childhood, playing in the snow, visiting the old homestead, slipping on the ice and my favorite, making snow angels in the snow. We didn't have much snow when I was growing up, but as an adult I had a chance to be in it up close when my husband went skiing. I was suppose to ski, I finally did for two years, but gave it up. There isn't any sports in my bones. Just painting and writing. Softy is what I think I would be called. Your title was great and your plot or story was wonderful with the flow. Your character, well this person gave his all to this poem. Be it he or she. telling a story of when they remembered being small and flying down the hill on a flexible flyer. what fun that must have been and you wrote it so well, I saw this child sitting down on it and racing down the hill. I love the way you took the the cardinal and used his red coast to bring the memory to mind. Great work. Below is my favorite part. I can't tell you how many times I felt myself sitting in the snow and ice. I know what it feels like and I can't help but laugh.
Smiling at myself, sitting in the snow, I feel the ice
of age crack and my mittened hands form a snowball. I eye the branch
but begin to build a snowman. I haven’t forgotten at all. Rising, I play
with the day, feeling joy as brisk air renews. No matter, now, my coat
isn’t nearly warm enough, I am warmed by the past remembered. I breathe
in and the canvas that is I, again, is white.
You are a great poem writer and I truly enjoy reading them. Keep up the great work.
Lady Scorpio House Hightower
** Image ID #20369493 Unavailable **
Aww, I love this poem. From the first word to the very last, it is something we, as readers, who have lost their mom can completely understand. My mom has been gone quite a while now. And even though when I was young we didn't get along at all. Then as an adult she manage to hurt me several times. But reading your poem and looking back, I really do miss her. She did a lot for me and at the time I really didn't understand all that she had sacrificed. It took her being gone to get it. I love those old pictures. I look at them and she sh and my dad together. They loved each other so much. When he died, I felt it was my responsibility to take care of her, which I did my best. I finally took the reins and moved her close to me. When she was ill, I took care of her. All of this because she did the same for me.
I love the fact your mom had taken your brother from school just as it happened to you. I actually know a young an who stood up to his teacher to tell her she was wrong. He too had a mother that stood beside him. Wonderful. When my mom died I was lost for awhile and then came peace. Your poem is beautiful. Keep up the beautiful work.
This is such a beautiful tribute to those that have passed. I read many of the stories or poems and have been so impressed with each one of them. Each and everyone was so very special indeed. The way you have put the site up and picked out special poems or stories makes it even better. To be honest this is the first time I have been here and I am so glad I stopped by. Thank you KiyaSama you have done well for all of these people. You have shown respect to each and everyone ad I know their families are very happy that you did this.
OH, what a very sad story you have weaved here. You never gave the/man a name. I guess that is the way he felt. I wasn't sure about the title, but I read your thoughts before reading the story. As I read, then I understood the minor key. You hooked me right away with the beginning of the story and the little 12 year old boy running freely along the cliff. Your scenery was well done. I was so happy for this youngster and that he finally had freedom to go by himself along the shore. I was happier when he found the cove. Those are truly wonderful places. They can be dangerous if the tide comes in, but the boy seem to know this.
I love the way you had him go to the cove every year and to the disappointment of his parents, not take his siblings. I completely understood wanting to keep his space. His thoughts were sad. Everyone seem to think he was a loser. When you don't have encouragement, this is exactly what happens. Oh, I did feel for him.
Your description of him as a boy, teen and man were very good and I could actually see this person. and I really felt for him. I was leary of the mermaid when he went back after so many years, but after reading the ending I wish he had of gone.
Great story - Great writing! Keep on writing, you are very good!
I have been enjoying your blog or as you say past memories. They show the everyday life of you and things that were out of your control and in your control.
The seat belt/airbags. Thank God you were not killed! I do not believe it was a roll of the dice. I believe there was some intervention and the fact we now have such things like seat belts and airbags. They can be a life saver. Unfortunately it didn't help my aunt when a car hit her head-on. Her glasses and face imprint was left on the bag. So see, no dice.
You're having trouble with your computer is everyone's nightmare. We really love them when they work well, but hate them when they don't. It is a bane to me when mine acts up. As for the book and the take on wars, I completely agree with this gentlemen. NOthing can ever replace those sons, daughters, father, wives, spouses that are lost forever. In some wars I do understand the necessity of picking up arms and fighting for our Democracy, the rest, I'm not sure.
School Days - you got that right. I hated school. Oh in elementary it was sorta fun because we weren't expected to do that much but learn some ABC's, math and such. Now days, I watch my grandson and he has more homework than I ever had in HIgh School. Plus they are pretty near calculus now. He will be in the seventh grade next year. My husband I had to get a tutor for him because we could not help him with his math.
School just wasn't for me. I applaud the ones that love it! Good for them.
On your hording, I really don't have much to say. I have found myself doing the same. Why do we keep all the cards our families send us? It take up so much room and when we die our children are going to throw it away anyway.
Now, why don't you remember your birth? I remember that dark tunnel, having lots of pain, then swoosh! There I was. You don't remember that? Just teasing. I do remember many things though when I was in my crib and really still just a baby.
I glad you had the females in your life. I think a boy needs that. Yes, he needs his father, but without female influence I don't think the boys grow into loving men. anyway, I look forward to when you can come back and write some more things. It gives me and idea, maybe I should be doing the same.
Aww, you left me hanging! Good job! Great story from beginning to end, even with the hanger. The forest of the dead is a good title for this story and from what I can tell, part of a larger story/book. Going into the forest was quite a challenge for these men and you showed that well. The part with Ivy coming back as one of the dead gave me chills. The fact they were having a hard time disposing of her was scary indeed. I loved your description of the different fires and would love to hear more about the rest. I am sure you will address that later on. Your setting was so very imaginative and very good for this type of story. Of course what else would you put if not about the Dead Forest. Talking about the different eyes of the different gentlemen was fascinating. Where do you get such wonderful imagination? I would love to have silver eyes. I have a friend and her eyes are the color of a Lion. They are Golden as in amber, only light. When she gets mad they do turn a dark amber. They are beautiful.
I hated to see these men cut down, but the fact that someone found them and I don't know who, gives me hope the will survive.
I found one mistake, but wasn't really looking for them as I was too engrossed in your story. I left it below.
Thanks, for sharing! Great work, keep it up!
grab firmly onto his should, should be shoulder.
Lady Scorpio House highTower
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I onced stayed ina house that had thirteen diffent types ad colors of carpet in it. nd believe it or not, it was haunted. Of course when the lady knew his name and said he had signed the guest book, I too remembered that he had not signed any book as he had just come into the house. I then thought hmmmm. Oh well. When he reched upstairs and couldn't find the thirteenth room he should have quit right then, I would have. But no, he was determined to find it and woe is he, but he did. NOw, not in my imagination would I have ever thought of this part of your plot. He was part of this whole thing. He had been around for two hundred years and had been able to get out evry now and then. He caused the fire that killed his friends and himself. Now that was scary.
The forest of the dead is a good title for this story and from what I can tell, part of a larger story/book. Going into the forest was quite a challenge for these men and you showed that well. The part with Ivy coming back as one of the dead gave me chills. The fact they were having a hard time disposing of her was scary indeed. I loved your description of the different fires and would love to hear more about the rest. I am sure you will address that later on. Your setting was so very imaginative and very good for this type of story. Of course what else would you put if not about the Dead Forest. Talking about the different eyes of the different gentlemen was fascinating. Where do you get such wonderful imagination? I would love to have silver eyes. I have a friend and her eyes are the color of a Lion. They are Golden as in amber, only light. When she gets mad they do turn a dark amber. They are beautiful.