I was thrilled to read this ghost story. It was fascinating and kept me on the edge of my seat.
There were three minor errors I noticed out of a nearly perfect story! The editor comes out of me here!!
1. "I hope we'll see her ghost on our, how about you?”
Should say "our tour"
2. "who will be giving us the tour." should say "who would be giving them the tour."
3. “I asked her how she felt living there, or if she seen or heard anything strange?” should have the the word "had" before "seen".
Otherwise a well written story.
Intelligent story plot. And surprise ending. But of course!! Love these shorts that tell a lot in little words!
Only correction I would suggest is so minor. Just in that last sentence a wrong word.
"Which proved yet again that were really wasn't any intelligent life on the planet Clyde."
"were" should be "there"
A delightful piece with a great message. I too have a little dog and two cats and know the time it takes to negotiate a peace agreement. But it does come in time.
Love that cat motto. Made me chuckle. So true.
Well written piece as well. Write on!!!
This is a wonderful piece and well worded. I believe it was written from the heart and not yet edited. Some editing to correct the punctuation and wording etc will greatly enhance the piece when you get a moment. However, it has a great message to all and captured my interest through out.
Whoa!! This story has potential to turn into a larger story. I was totally intrigued and pulled along in the story. Then left wondering with lots of questions! I do hope you expand this one.
I feel it is written well, so offer no changes really. Perhaps a missing comma or two - minor things.
Wow!! This story really had me captivated! You did a good job at suspense and developing your characters. Also was really interesting to see all the possible devices. I loved how you made this older middle-aged man come alive even though he seemed so retiring at first.
This is such a powerful piece. I was totally enthralled by it. The pace was just right and so suspenseful. Once I started I couldn't put it down. You did a great job of the characters too. I could just see the mischevious boy and the distraught mother. Her anguish at the end was real too. This would make a great piece for a religious newspaper or magazine.
This is a very enticing story and encourages more reading. I especially enjoyed the beginning paragraph. It pulled me right into the story. There isn't much I would change here. You did well. But you might want to go through and check for minor spelling errors such as in the first paragraph where it said: "...as the star shone..." where it should be "stars."