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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/loti
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155 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Trapped  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love these short but descriptive pieces taking on another viewpoint. Well done.
One small correction. I just had to do it!!!
"One "OF" them was a screamer when she saw me,..."


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Silent Child  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow! This sure depicts despair throughout the whole piece. You did a good job of rhythm and rhyme. And I loved the repetition at the end. It really shows her distress and fear.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
You did well in this poem. Rhythm and rhyme just beautiful. I saw nothing to suggest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of The First Step  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This was short but packed! My imagination went wild! Well done.
Loti


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I was thrilled to read this ghost story. It was fascinating and kept me on the edge of my seat.
There were three minor errors I noticed out of a nearly perfect story! The editor comes out of me here!!
1. "I hope we'll see her ghost on our, how about you?”
Should say "our tour"
2. "who will be giving us the tour." should say "who would be giving them the tour."
3. “I asked her how she felt living there, or if she seen or heard anything strange?” should have the the word "had" before "seen".
Otherwise a well written story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Disaster 7  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (4.5)
Intelligent story plot. And surprise ending. But of course!! Love these shorts that tell a lot in little words!
Only correction I would suggest is so minor. Just in that last sentence a wrong word.
"Which proved yet again that were really wasn't any intelligent life on the planet Clyde."
"were" should be "there"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Dogs and Cats  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
A delightful piece with a great message. I too have a little dog and two cats and know the time it takes to negotiate a peace agreement. But it does come in time.
Love that cat motto. Made me chuckle. So true.
Well written piece as well. Write on!!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of LARA  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a wonderful piece and well worded. I believe it was written from the heart and not yet edited. Some editing to correct the punctuation and wording etc will greatly enhance the piece when you get a moment. However, it has a great message to all and captured my interest through out.
Loti


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Stepping Down  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just love poetry with a deeper meaning within its lines. You have spoken and described the chaos of the soul eloquently. Free verse is so -- well--- free! I love it.
10
10
Review of I can fly.  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
This will be a delightful story for beginner readers. Have you published yet?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of The Color of Love  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very interesting view point. I love it. You did well in assuming it. Thank you for the great read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Whoa!! This story has potential to turn into a larger story. I was totally intrigued and pulled along in the story. Then left wondering with lots of questions! I do hope you expand this one.
I feel it is written well, so offer no changes really. Perhaps a missing comma or two - minor things.
13
13
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Wow!! This story really had me captivated! You did a good job at suspense and developing your characters. Also was really interesting to see all the possible devices. I loved how you made this older middle-aged man come alive even though he seemed so retiring at first.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Sky Flowers  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Oh what a delightful poem. I got the imagery right away and delighted in it. Well done.
Loti
15
15
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very well written, I must say. You did an excellent job.
Loti


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Lions and zebras  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was such a turn about. Great change of viewpoint and I loved it. Only thing is what happened to the lady with the floppy hat since the reporter said no one else was there?
Loti
17
17
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very cool piece. I can almost see and hear it as a modern song sung by maybe Pink or someone else like that. Well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of The Corsican  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great writing. I offer no changes because I didn't see any to be made. The ending was a great twist I did not expect. Thanks for the great read.
Loti


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
Totally riveting, indeed! Your descriptions were vivid and the story flowed smoothly to the surprise ending. Thank you for the thrilling ride.
Loti


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow! This has got some action. Good prologue also. The story has a lot of potential.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of God's Telephone  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is such a powerful piece. I was totally enthralled by it. The pace was just right and so suspenseful. Once I started I couldn't put it down. You did a great job of the characters too. I could just see the mischevious boy and the distraught mother. Her anguish at the end was real too. This would make a great piece for a religious newspaper or magazine.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Five Bucks  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an awesome play on words. Your rhyme and rhythym is perfect.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Kiss the Wind  
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
How perfect is that! You painted such a beautiful picture with words and captured the moment entirely. Thank you for the read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (5.0)
Delightful piece. You blended the two incidents so well together. I loved it. I don't see much to change here. You wrote well.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review by Write-fully Loti
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very enticing story and encourages more reading. I especially enjoyed the beginning paragraph. It pulled me right into the story. There isn't much I would change here. You did well. But you might want to go through and check for minor spelling errors such as in the first paragraph where it said: "...as the star shone..." where it should be "stars."


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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