Spelling/Grammar: I found a few spelling/grammar errors for you to consider:
1. In this section - if you wouldn’t mind your highness could you - you may want to put a comma after "mind" and a comma after "highness".
2. In this section - fond farewell with so why not help out - you may want to put a comma after "with" or split into two sentences.
3. In this section - you’re an Amarian you guys like - you may want to put a comma after "Amarian".
4. In this section - an AR3 unit pretty new model - you may want to put a comma after "unit".
5. In this section - the yell what the freak when she saw him - you may want to change "the" to "to", place a comma after "yell", italicize "what the freak", and put a comma after "freak" or split into two sentences.
6. In this section - Captain Bandi, all her insults and anger - you may want to change your comma to a period.
7. In this section - Bandi you son of a how dare you let me think you were dead all this time when I get my hands on - you may want to place a comma after "Bandi", "..." and a comma after "a", and a comma after "time".
8. In this section - but no she was safely flying away - you may want to put a comma after "no".
9. In this section - Bandi would not look at her he just kept looking - you may want to place a comma after "her".
10. In this section - would be after Bandi Mr. straight and narrow - you may want to place a comma after "Bandi" and "narrow".
11. In this section - Bull Bandi what would Gala - you may want to put a period after "Bandi" or an exclamation point.
12. In this section - Menari he was the one - you may want to place a comma after "Menari".
13. In this section - send someone for you too so I tried to stay - you may want to put a comma after "too" or split into two sentences.
14. In this section - He brushed he purple hair - you may want to change "he" to "her".
15. In this section - Menari I have missed you - you may want to put a comma after "Menari".
16. In this section - do it all together we’re going to the planet - you may want to place a period after "together".
17. In this section - all she could think was you idiot - you may want to place a comma after "was" and italicize her thoughts.
Readability: I apologize, I usually do not review works that have so many errors because it is difficult for me to read it. I spend so much time trying to decipher the story, instead of enjoying the reading, that I usually don't even bother to finish it much less review it. But, I found your plot to be intriguing and the bulk of your writing shows promise.
If you plan to continue with this story I would enjoy reviewing more as long as you pay more attention to your punctuation!
Spelling/Grammar: I found only a few spelling/grammar errors for you to consider:
1. In this section - Rodgers and his team was already out - you may want to change "was" to "were".
2. In this section - flowing in like swarm of moths - you may want to insert "a" after "like".
3. In this section - I've always felt the murder was - I think you meant "that" instead of "the".
4. In this section - did anyone you knew have a motive - I'm not sure what you need here to make it right, maybe "know of" instead of "knew".
5. In this section - office number and cel number - you may want to fix the spelling of "cell".
6. In this section - Jacobs had to swerved to avoid a dog - you may want to eliminate the "d" on "swerve".
Readability: A very interesting and creepy tale! Loved the plot, looks like it may not be over either...
Spelling/Grammar: I found no spelling/grammar errors to report and no additions or deletions to ponder! Awesome!
Readability: A well-written and intriguing story. The build up was awesome and I liked how you gave subtle clues about Billy without giving up the ending!
Spelling/Grammar: I found only a couple of spelling/grammar errors for you to consider:
1. In this section - in the debt of night - you may want to change "debt" to "dead".
2. In this section - Fight-or-Flight mode - you may want to uncapitalize "fight or flight".
3. In this section - and returned his chase - maybe "and returned to the chase"?
Readability: A well-thought out and intriguing read!
Spelling/Grammar:I found no spelling/grammar errors to report and no additions or deletions to ponder! Awesome! (I didn't feel it would be right to check for errors on this story)
Readability: A well-written and entertaining read! Your Dad must have been an awesome story teller!
Spelling/Grammar: I found only a couple of spelling/grammar errors for you to consider:
1. In this section - waited for the ring the bell and pretend he brought - you may want to insert "of" after "ring" and "would" after "and".
2. In this section - Taking her pizza to her little kitchen table, opened the lid. - you may want to eliminate the comma and insert "she".
3. In this section - looked for the woman she has seen - you may want to change "has" to "had".
Readability: An entertaining tale of misunderstanding! Poor Karen!
Spelling/Grammar: I found only a couple of spelling/grammar errors for you to consider: (I wasn't sure if you wanted to edit this piece, but, just in case...)
1. In this section - been someone had a grudge - you may want to add "who" after "someone".
2. In this section - anyone who had even met her would - you may want to change "even" to "ever".
.Readability: A well-written (everything was going smooth until you got too emotional at the end) and lovely read! Love your grandma already!
Overall Impression: Sounds like Gilligan's Island is having a very bad nightmare!
Spelling/Grammar: I found no spelling/grammar errors to report and no additions or deletions to ponder! Awesome!
Readability: A well-written and compelling read! Well, if you are keeping instep with nightmarish offshoot then there has to be more short stories to come...right?...hopefully...
Overall Impression: A very interesting intro to an intro, though I am not sure why an intro would need an intro, did the information not fit in the original intro, no room for rearranging, or maybe it was just fun to give the intro an intro!?!
Spelling/Grammar: I found no spelling/grammar errors to report and no additions or deletions to ponder! Awesome!
Readability: A well-written and interesting read! An intriguing story line thus far!
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