|My official review of your piece, take it as you will.
First impression: It's an interesting concept for sure, so a full star.
Second impression: There are definitely some inconsistencies and grammatical errors, but I'll address that later. One thing I do want to address, though, is the fact that almost every dialogue ends with something other than "said". this isn't a huge deal, and I'm sure you've had English teachers tell you "Said is Dead" or "Don't use said, it's boring", but it is the status quo, so don't be afraid to just say said.
Characters: I like your characters, they all have a clear sense of purpose and are interesting in their own ways. I'd like to see how Michael and Andy's relationship evolves over time, seeing as they are introduced together and seem to be the main characters at this time.
Emotional Triggers: There's not many, but that's fine for a first chapter. I'd be a little concerned if you were trying to invoke too many emotions in the first couple of chapters, so it's pretty perfect.
Grammar and Conventions: This part was a little rough, but the best part about technical things is they can be fixed easily. You have a talent, which isn't so easy to fix Grammar is no big deal.
This will look like a lot, but I'm going to copy/paste your story and point things out. Please don't hate me for this...
December 7th, 1997, Rural Wisconsin. It was the early morning, around 3 AM, and nothing was out of the usual. A few State Police patrolling around the town. The Diner, called Minnie's was open with a few customers., and everyone else was at home. But today waswould be truly changing for the town. A large silver object seemed to be headed straight for the Earth below, but... it wasn't burning up in the Atmosphere like most meteoroids, no no (note: consider removing these, they seem to be for emphasis, but end up being slightly confusing this was most defiantlydefinitely not something made from simple space rock, no no (same as the other set) it had to be a UFO. But was it even full of Aliens? Was it even meant for Earth? As the UFO was now being followed by a burning streak of fire coming from it, it crashed into a snow-covered plain, far from the highway. Surrounding the UFO were a few treeslocated on this plain. The nearest civilization would be a good 5, 6 miles you need something like away, down the road, something to let the reader know what it was 5, 6 miles awayfrom. But if the aliens didn't take interest in the humans, the humans tookwould take interest in the aliens.
-------- (note: consider moving this to the center for neatness. You can do this using the editing buttons across the top, the 8th down the line. It's called "Align Middle" I'll do this with the rest of them so you can see what it looks like)
"We have incoming!" The man shouted from his desk. Along the walls were large 90's-esque monitors, tracking this UFO.
"Another UFO? Show me it, show me!" The officer shouted. In a Joint Operation between the US Air Force, Federal Bureau of Investigation, and Central Intelligence Agency, they had begun tracking UFO's (plural, not possessive) after there was a significant uptick in UFO sightings. This was no different, while the government had tracked the UFO's down, they hadn't found evidence of alien life on the ships. To them, the ships must've been abandoned before hitting the surface.
"Keep tracking it!" The officer shouted. "Wherever it lands, I want a lockdown of the state highways and roads for 5 Miles!" The officer soon left the tracking room, and headed for the garage, where he would be driven to the crash site.
"This may be one of the biggest breakthrough's we've had since this project started..." The Sergeant stated(consider said). The Lieutenant just gave him a look, stern perhaps.
"How far away is the crash site?" The Lieutenant asked the Sergeant. (I feel the Seargent is the implied recipient, but if you feel otherwise leave it)
"About... 20 miles from here, and we have the Wisconsin State Patrol lockdown the area 5 miles around it?"
"Make it 7, I don't want extra leaks."
"Yes, sir." The Sergeant submitted this one is the most distracting, perhaps change it? as the Lieutenant stepped into the Black Ford.
Two State Troopers walked into the arcade, met by the attendant. Their names were Andy Robertson, and Michael Durban. They were some of the more younger members of the local State Patrol Department, but still did their job accordingly. They both spent some of their off times at the local Arcade, called 'Starcade' in the small town of Frigate, Wisconsin. (note: very clever, I see what you did there. Puns are usually well received)
"How are your you troopers doing?" (unless this was intentional for the purpose of grammatically incorrect dialogue, in that case, don't change it) The Attendant asked.
"Fine, Fine." Andy responded as he walked over to one of the gaming cabinets. He began playing his game, it was Street Fighter II, one of the best games ever made up to that point, and Andy was very good at it. Michael mainly practiced his driving skills with Daytona: USA. Sure, these were State Troopers in their mid 20's, but they at least wanted to feel young, and stay that way. As they were playing the door slwung open, as if someone was walking in, but nobody was.
"That's weird..." Andy noticed(Noticed implies he saw something but didn't comment I suggest said).
"Does the door swing open like that during strong winds?" It was rather windy outside, not usual for winter in rural Wisconsin.
"I don't think so..." The Attendant answered.
"Well... Must just be the wind." Andy replied as he walked over to the Air Hockey Table. He figured that practicing Air Hockey would be helpful, since every month the local department would hold an Air Hockey Tournament at the 'Starcade,' and Andy surely wanted to win this time. He began by grabbing the striker and puck, lining up the shot, and hitting the puck directly into the goal. It made a "Clang!" noise every time it hit the goal. As he went to reach for another puck, the puck he just hit magically began to float up in the air.
"What in the..." Andy was speechless.
"What?" Michael questioned.
"L-Look!" Andy said as the puck was magically placed down on the table.
"Holy..." Was Michael's only reply.
"It's floating!" The striker was then placed on the table, and magically hit the puck into the opposite goal.
"Is it a ghost?" The Attendant asked.
"I don't know..." Michael answered. "I'd expect a ghost to be more intelligent than this, it seems unfamiliar with Air Hockey..." Andy then took the puck and striker and slowly hit the puck towards the other, empty end of the Air Hockey Table. The striker then hit it back to Andy.
"I-I can't believe this..." Were the words last uttered by Andy.
Overall, I like it a lot. Please don't take the grammar suggestions the wrong way, as I said before, technical things are easily fixed and not a huge deal. Keep writing, you have great potential. I'll review the other too if you'd like, just email.