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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ls144780
Review Requests: ON
78 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
FORMERLY idoreviews I'm honest, but not rude at all. I'll explain why I give the number of stars I give and what you could do to improve that. I do fix grammar as well as look at style, emotional triggers, and characters, and other things like that. I'll get back to you with a full review in a couple of days or so after the request, depending on the length of the item. Just pay what you think is fair, please :)
I'm good at...
Pretty much anything, I'll read almost anything. I'm not going to correct much grammar unless specifically asked, but other than that I try to touch on most everything.
Favorite Genres
Fiction of any kind
Least Favorite Genres
fanfiction where I don't know the universe or subject matter, erotica, western.
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, pretty much anything.
Least Favorite Item Types
Full-length books, although I will review them.
I will not review...
I will not review Erotica or Sexual things. I'm fine with everything else, including rough dialogue, drug use, extreme violence, etc...
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Raised for Us  
Review by Writin' Wit...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review your work!

First impressions:I love this poem, Easter is one of my favorite holidays.
Overall impression:As a Christian, I feel the importance of this poem, and you do a good job.
Errors?:none that I see.
Characters:Jesus.
Plot: its a haiku, so no real plot.
Questions about the piece?:none


Great job, and keep writing!
This is my Sig for reviews
2
2
Review of NaNo Prep  
Review by Writin' Wit...
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review your work!

First impressions: I'm a sucker for a good backstory, I'll admit. This one is very well written and you have a good antagonist foundation for this character.
Overall impression: As I said before, good foundation, I hope you'll expand more on this character later.
Errors?: I don't see any technical errors, so we're all good here :)
Characters: We were introduced to 2 characters that stuck out at me, Drinly and Guy. Assuming Drinly is your protagonist (which is what I gathered from reading the short summary things at the beginning of the piece)
Plot: There's a definite plot here, Guy's father dies, he leaves, comes back for his mother's sake, leaves again, finds Drinly. It's easy to follow and runs smoothly
Questions about the piece?: No questions :) Great Work!


Great job, and keep writing!
3
3
Review of The Nut Tree  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review your work!

First impressions: I was a bit skeptical at first, but I grew to like it
Overall impression: I like it, I think it's clever and well written.
Errors?: None that I see
Characters: None
Plot: There's not so much a plot, since it's a poem, but you do a good job with the descriptions.Questions about the piece?: What prompted you to write this? Was there an inspiration?


Great job, and keep writing!
This is my Sig for reviews
4
4
Review of Visions of Love  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really like this poem, it works and has a good cadence. You make masterful work of the language you use, and it flows naturally. I think it'd work really well with music, whether or not that was your intent. Great job, I look forward to seeing more of your work!
5
5
Review of Sentience  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review your work!

First impressions: This is a funny little story to start with, it's a tad confusing. As you read, however, you start to get that that's the point, and things really start to clear up.
Overall impression: I like this. It's short, sweet, and speculative. It gives me "Toy Stories" vibes, almost, except its office supplies.
Errors?: None that I see :)
Characters: you have 4 characters, Stapler, Scissors, and Tape, as well as Dr. Thomas, and they're all distinctive and have clear personalities.
Plot: The plot is good, well written, and structured.
Questions about the piece?: what happens after he throws the trio in the trash? Are they ok? Does he start to realize something is off?


Great job, and keep writing!
This is my Sig for reviews
6
6
Review by Writin' Wit...
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is awesome! Love it!
7
7
Review of The Honor  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, great job!
8
8
Review of The Judge  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is intriguing, to say the least. It gives me a hybrid Divergent-Jason Bourne feel, which is to say I enjoyed it! It's very short if you were thinking about expanding I'd seriously recommend it since you have a good start :)

Great job and keep writing!
9
9
Review of Meeting Toby  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aww, such a cute and wonderful story! It sounds like something my own grandparents would tell us about over dinner or while playing a game. It made me smile :)

Great Job!
10
10
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this poem, it's light and fun, and the rhyming makes it feel almost childish (in mood, not in technical skill). I could see a librarian reading this to the children over storytime, or a grandparent telling this story to a toddler. As it were, it made me smile.

Great job!
11
11
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love this concept, and you've written it very well :)

For Denial, you showed the relationship between denial and doubt. Will they come back? Do they care?

For Anger, you showed the irrational anger and things that come out when you think you mean everything you say at the time.

For Bargaining, you showed the dependent feeling and the hopefulness that fades into hopelessness.

For Depression, you showed spiralling doubt and self-blame.

And finally, for Acceptance, you showed healing.

Great job!
12
12
Review of A Young Nation  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! I love the trinket! Now to answer your questions...

Did you have to go somewhere besides the Newsfeed to collect the Trinket? I came from the newsfeed and ended up here.

After you found the portal, were you able to get the Trinket? Yes!

What did you think of the item you found at the end of your journey?
I thought it was very good :)

Should these guys be locked up without computer privileges?
Yes, indefinitely *Laugh*
13
13
Review by Writin' Wit...
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm still working on mine, good job!
14
14
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love the selection!:)
15
15
Review of The Ooze  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with Murder Anonymous Membership  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi! I'm here to review!

For this being so short, it has a strangely complete feel. That's not easy to do, in my experience. You've created 2 distinct characters and another side character in the space of just under 250 words. It's very well written, I can picture the scene.

Great Job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of The Unicorn  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a great poem, hands down one of my favorites on the site thus far. It starts off with an air of mystery, and then it changes to humor as the reader starts to understand what is actually happening.

The concept of Mythical Creatures is something humanity has seen rise through culture for centuries, because of its allure. After all, who wouldn't want to see a unicorn at their front door?

Great Job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of New Home  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done :)

here for me
18
18
Review of Hope  
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
As a kid, I agree. I'm fortunate enough to have parents that say maybe when they mean maybe. Good poem and good idea!
19
19
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey, I'm here to review :)

I watched the video, and what you've done is basically translated it into a working story. You did a good job working your own elements into what was already established. Good job!

I don't see any apparent grammatical issues, and the prose seems to be pretty error-free, so I think that'll conclude it! :)

This is my Sig for reviews
20
20
Review of A Promise  
Review by Writin' Wit...
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Upfront, I like to inform my reviewees how I liked (or loved) their piece. This one hit somewhere near my heart. It's a great idea, good execution, and overall an excellent piece of prose. You have a way with language, it really weaved together in my head. Great job!

This is my Sig for reviews
21
21
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is odd, not going to lie. It's a funny concept, and I actually really enjoyed the story.

The Plot: The Plot is very straightforward. A woman wants to eat and eat and eat and eat... you get the point. You didn't tell too much or too little, so I think the plot was very nice.

The Characters: I think your characters were distinct and each served their own purpose. Good job.

What I Liked: I think you did a great job with the description.

What could be improved: Honestly, spelling, and that's about it!

Overall Impression: See the very first statement.

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This is my Sig for reviews
22
22
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good afternoon, and I hope I find you well. As you know, you requested that I review this short piece. Before I start, I’d like to ask a couple questions.

Is this part of a bigger project?
Why Pink Roads?
Have you played Fallout 4?

Now, the reason I ask the last question is that I see some parallels and was wondering if you possibly drew inspiration? Even if you did, it’s different enough that it’s not a problem, just something I noticed. But let’s move on to corrections:

This is a link to a google doc, with corrections and suggestions:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iFGzezffyePMbe...

My Feelings on the piece: It's a great concept. Your execution is good, and I love where you're headed. I'm giving you five stars because I truly love the idea. If you want to look at other pieces that follow a similar structure, I wrote one called "March 1st, 2056, just if you want to look through others.

Happy Writing!

** Image ID #2248823 Unavailable **
This is my Sig for reviews
23
23
Review by Writin' Wit...
Rated: E | (5.0)
This looks fun :)
24
24
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tolstoy took me forever to find, but I got it!

Thanks for the fun challenge!

** Image ID #2248823 Unavailable **
(It turned out really nicely)
25
25
Review by Writin' Wit...
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'll admit, I kind of stayed in the back of your portfolio, testing the waters and whatnot, and finally decided to give you the credit you deserve. I love your poetry, it's so descriptive. You could totally write a book, and if you do, let me know so I can buy it :)

All the best,
Loren
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