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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ltotl
Review Requests: ON
10 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Josh T. Alto
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Zheila! You recently reviewed one of my stories and I thought why not check your portfolio as a reward *Smile*. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*ThumbsUp* Overall Impression:
Although it is not a usual story, there are no dialogues no real characters it immediately catches your attention and you simply have to read it through, and it a very good read as you really easily believe that they are facts that are presented here.


*ThumbsUp* Plot:
A review of some documents dealing with the crash landing of an UFO in Roswell.


*ThumbsUp* Style and Voice:
The story presents all details with references to sources that makes you believe they are facts.


*ThumbsUp* Scene/Setting:
The story deals with the artifacts found after an UFO crash landing in the desert of Roswell and how they helped earthly scientist to improve technology.
With references to 'real' sources the story makes you really believe that they are facts presented from the foundings after the UFO landing.


*ThumbsUp* Characters:
Referred as real persons that make the story more realistic.


*ThumbsUp* Grammar and Mechanics:
No grammatic errors spotted.


*ThumbsUp* Suggestions:
I might say that with the usage of some extra lines the story would be more easily readable.

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review by Josh T. Alto
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello! You once reviewed one of my stories and I randomly chose a story from your portfolio to read. I really enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*ThumbsUp* Overall Impression:
A sad story about the opportunities we miss sometime in our lives and only years later found out that in reality it was a blessing in disguise. I liked how you built the whole storyline starting as an idyllic scenery to something totally different

*ThumbsUp* Plot:
Miranda, a small town in Texas.

*ThumbsUp* Style and Voice:
Very distanced only telling us facts of the life of the 'perfect' couple

*ThumbsUp* Scene/Setting:
After introducing the narrator and the ex cheer leader it starts immediately with the bloody scene after Jenny took revenge for the years of abuse. I found it a very strong idea that makes the story a real winner.

*ThumbsUp* Characters:
Although with very few words but you succeded in creating real, all over authentic characters

*ThumbsUp* Dialog:
Not too much but enough to keep the necessary tension.

*ThumbsUp* Grammar and Mechanics:
No typos spotted.

*ThumbsUp* Suggestions:
Write on!

Thank you for sharing your story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Spare Parts  
Review by Josh T. Alto
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Indelibleink! I found your story in the Twisted Tale Contest entries. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*ThumbsUp* Overall Impression:
Well written with many dialogues that make the story line vivid and professional.

*ThumbsUp* Plot:
A small town in Pennsylvania. A family mother with an incurable kidney disease is waiting for a donor to save her life.

*ThumbsUp* Style and Voice:
The style modern and rather fast, catching hold of the readers attention and never letting it again.

*ThumbsUp* Scene/Setting:
We get to know the family, Peter and Janie and their neighbors and friends Ryan and Lydia as they are leaving after a nice evening with their friends. We also learn that Janie is waiting for a kidney donor and she is losing hope with each day.

*ThumbsUp* Characters:
The story is built on one person, Peter, and he is the only one with an elaborated character. He loves his wife and we get to know quite early that he is eager to do anything to save her life.


*ThumbsUp* Dialog:
Lots of enjoyable and realistic dialogues that help a lot to make it a really good read.


*ThumbsUp* Grammar and Mechanics:
Good grammar, one might be error spotted but cannot find anymore.


*ThumbsUp* Suggestions:
You have a very good narrating style, keep on writing! I purposely did not want to reveal much details of the story so that it'll be exciting enough for other readers as well.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Josh


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Always Autumn  
Review by Josh T. Alto
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Iva,
this is a beautiful sad song, I really loved it. I wrote 'song' on purpose, even if it is a free verse it has a sweet melancholy that carries you away and I could almost hear it sung by someone accompanied by a sole guitar. On the one hand you are sad because you lost someone you loved but on the other hand you have your imagination and all the little things that carry you back to him. I liked how autumn encloses your 25 lines of feelings in a poem that touches the reader and make him think of all the people he lost on the way... people he loved.
Very nice peace of poem, thank you for sharing!
Keep on writing!
Take care
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