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33 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.5)
Such a poignant and beautiful poem. For me, I could almost see a person standing in front of a mirror telling themselves that before facing a difficult decision or test of nature of some kind. That's just me, I suppose.

There is imagery in here, though not overly flowery which serves the poem well in this case. Not every poem needs to have outlandish word choices or descriptions to catch attention. Here you do it with intent.

I enjoyed reading this one. It's definitely a poem I'll come back to more than once.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Joe's Dilemma  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoy a good limerick now and again. I quite enjoyed this one. Thank you for giving me a smile.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Plums  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (5.0)
A good flash fiction that small children can enjoy. Simple motivations, simple word choices, even simple scene descriptions to give you a vision of the action without over complicating things.

Given that it's also a flash fiction, simple scene descriptions work best, too. It does work as a small joke especially the "you're both plumb foolish" at the end. I struggle to see if anymore could have been done with this. I really enjoyed this story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Honey Bee  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like this poem.

It has a musical quality to it that I most enjoy. I can almost hear the guitar in the background of this one. It's simple, and in this format quite effective. If you do record this one day, I hope you'll link it here so we can hear it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Rememberance  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.0)
A touching and beautiful tribute for memorial day.

It doesn't break any new ground, but I don't think that's what you were going for.

It makes you pause and reflect, and that's this poems greatest strength. Very good work!
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Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the unique words chosen here. They paint a picture of a grand, yet strange design.

It leaves a person feeling uncomfortable, as if beauty has been kiltered, cracked.

The only criticism I can offer is this: I can tell you wrote this in Microsoft Word. Every letter that starts a new line is capitalized, whether it begins a new sentence or idea or not.

It's a great poem and makes one think - as all great poetry should.
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Review of Bird Plant  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (3.0)
A bit of a slice of life here. I know some would knock it for not having a real conflict or a tough dramatic change, but not all stories require that, especially if they can bring a smile to your face.

It's a good short bit over all. Though a stronger conflict and twist would make it more engaging, it makes me wonder if it would make it better or not?

I quite enjoyed this one. Hope you won the contest this was for.
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Review of Waiting for me  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.0)
A bit of darkness in this one. I did enjoy it, and though I hope this was an exercise and not a real event!

If this wasn't a real event, then that is a very good mark for you, written in a style and manner to make one think that you're speaking from the heart.

I'm not a huge fan of the last line, it makes me think that there is more to the poem that's left unsaid.

Good job over all, I like this one.
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Review by Louis Williams
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I like this one. It's a thinker. A mental chewer. Something for your mind to ponder over a bit after it's gone. A poem like this leaves a bit of an impact, and I like that it does. I especially like the line "makes a mind foolish and deaf". It certainly does, doesn't it? To the best of us if we're not careful.

There's a couple of grammatical things that pick at me a bit, like "all flesh go" instead of "all flesh goes". That's my mind wanting to associate "goes" with "all". They're not great enough though to pull me out of this one.

Very good job! Very good poem.
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Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.0)
Some good imagery in this one. I do feel that you are trying here to be fair to both sides of this argument. Of course, I could be wrong, and admit I might be, but that's the impression I get with this. Alas, I am not reviewing your point of view, merely the poetry you used to convey it so that's as much as I will say on that matter.

This is a good example of how you can use everyday words and paint stunning images with them. Not many words chosen are derived from images themselves, yet they do point a vivid picture: ruffled and riled, gallant, dissolution, tattered children. All of these and more are used to make a powerful picture.

There isn't much that I can comment here for improvement, and honestly think any advice I give would be to the detriment of this work. Good job on this one.
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Review of TOM CAT  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (3.5)
There is a good story in here. A very good one.

I love stories about brave animals saving people, so this one definitely hit a sweet spot for me. You had good action and a good resolution, however formatting could use a touch up.

Your story was broken into two large paragraphs. Problem was there was several paragraphs of information in each one. This made it a bit tough to get through. Our eyes naturally like white space balanced through out writing. It helps them rest a bit from one body of text to the next. It also helps prevent confusion for the reader, cause it groups the main ideas of paragraphs up with sentences to support it, rather than having several ideas shoved into one paragraph. Break up your two paragraphs into more, and this story will be easier for others to read.

You have the beginnings of a good story here. I hope you don't give up on it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful and poignant poem.

I love the imagery in this, it reminds me of my own childhood with fall and has transported me back to that place. This one seems to be more about the rhythm, than the actual rhyming schemes, casually discarding the rules a bit much like a child jumping into a leaf pile.

If I could give any sort of criticism, its that some of the imagery used is a bit well known at times. It's always nice to be surprised in a poem with a new and unique phrase or picture.

Good job, I quite enjoyed this one.
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Review of Hurricane  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.5)
A poem about going from fear to hope, of how out of destruction and death hope brings life. Short but inspiring, though it doesn't have a lot of words, it doesn't lack power or strength in its stanza.

I've enjoyed it, even all these years later after the destruction of the hurricane it inspires me. Good job on this.
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Review of Game Set Match  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Well written.

If it hadn't been marked "general fiction" I would have thought it was a real first hand account. The back and forth described in the match did have me on the proverbial edge of my seat. I'd have liked a bit more of a descriptive adjective here and there, particularly in the slower parts, personally. To me, that would help paint a more vivid picture. In the faster parts of course, I would have done as you did to maintain the sense of motion and speed.

But that's just me nitpicking. Very entertaining, and over all a good read, especially for sports fans.
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Review by Louis Williams
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
An exciting and stunning story, with classic horror elements. Those classic horror elements are in fact my favorite part of it. As I read through this, I couldn't help but see similarities in the style to Bram Stokers Dracula or Mary Shelly's Franksenstein in their design.

The only part that I really can complain about is the ending, with the guy going to America. It's the first time that America is really mentioned, and kind of caught me off guard. Perhaps, if it was mentioned what university he had come from to do his thesis on it wouldn't have caught me so off guard.

A great story with an exciting end. Great writing.
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Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (5.0)
This left me with a smile on my face.

Stories I review I do try to offer a piece of advice when I review them, but every now and again I simply can't come up with anything.

It's a great simple slice of life, with a good premise. I like the flow and how the joke twists so easily at the end. All in all, great job.
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Review of One Scary Night  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was definitely worth the read.

I got a great smile from it, and it gave me memories of my own trick or treating as a child. The rhyming didn't ever get too off kilter, and gave a good image of what you were trying to convey.

I also like the slight twist at the end. Though it wasn't surprising, I didn't expect it to come.

A good poem, and entertaining story.
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Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.0)
I laughed so hard, my back cracked!

This was a very good story. The only real complaint I have here is that there's no description of the house or the neighborhood. I know there's a deck cause you mentioned he put the dog on it. But other than that, I really have no clue what everything looks like.

Other than that, everything was great. The descriptions of the events had me groaning and laughing out loud, I think a couple times I shouted "oh no!" when hearing how the Roomba was smearing sick across the house or how the dryer caught on fire.

This was a great read. I enjoyed it a lot.
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Review by Louis Williams
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You forgot:

"don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya"
or
"Don't let the door hit ya where the dog should have bit ya."

But those may go over like a fart in church, these days.

I hope these won't bother you and are well received. Though if you called me out on this, I might be sweating like a whore in church just from the attention.

And I do apologize, a list like this begs someone to keep adding on.

I blame society, really.

This was an entertaining read. I learned a couple new phrases!
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Review of The phoenix  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love the musical quality of this poem.

You have wonderful imagery here, and the way you place the stanza's and lines, although was a bit confusing at first, quickly grew on me. I try to leave a bit of advice with each critique, though there really isn't anything I can give you on this. Umm....look both ways before crossing a street? (j/k)

In all seriousness, I couldn't possibly give you much advice here other than keep it up. This was enjoyable, and like every good poem should, left me a little emotionally different than when it found me.
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Review of Lab Boy  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.5)
Why do I get the impression that he's the last person alive on Earth?

A good story. I do enjoy the ambiguous ending. I kinda would've liked to see something from day a day or two later in this just to see if fear and paranoia sets in or if someone rescues him.

A big problem most people have with 1st person is they tend to write in their own voice. You obviously did not make that mistake here and maintained character.

This was an enjoyable read.
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Review of I Am Just...  
Review by Louis Williams
Rated: E | (4.0)
Just ambiguous enough to give you thoughts of what I the reader should do, what steps I the reader should take. I like that.

It's a very good poem. I really can't offer any constructive criticism to this, personally. Good job, and thanks for giving me something to think on this morning.
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