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63 Public Reviews Given
122 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Enjoy the Ride!  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A good poem.

Using the Ferris wheel as a metaphor for love itself, that's a take I hadn't considered before. It's a unique view that will leave me looking at a Ferris wheel completely different from now on.

The poem stays just long enough to relay the imagery and make its impact, and leaves at the most impactful moment. A very good job on this one.
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Review of Chest Cat  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
The limerick painted a cute scene here.

A man who's feeling ill and has hives all over has a cat who wants him to feel better, and tries to do so by climbing on his chest. Very relatable. Especially since it appears that man may or may not be allergic to the cat.

This one made me smile and fit the limerick style well. And it's memorable, which is most important for a limerick, at least in my opinion.

Good job.
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Review of Autocorrect  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Some deep philosophical questions asked in this one. Some not so great answers alluded to as well. But still we keep plugging away. Beats the alternative, right?

This one was done very well. The dialogue was the main driver and surprisingly, the character arc that I was expecting came from the AI, and not Nathan. It appears that Nathan had merely come to the realization of why he drinks, whereas the AI had come to a much deeper realization, and a much deeper, darker solution.

A story that gripped me much harder than I originally thought it would. Very good work.
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Review of The Broken Cup  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very entertaining short.

Stories with a bit of the natural world in them seems to always feel more fleshed out. The fact that this story was based on an actual event seems to confirm that suspicion with me. (Or is it a conspiracy?)

Millie's reaction to the cup firing at her is priceless and frankly, probably something I would have done as well. The addition of the ghost at the end also made me smile. I could imagine one of my late relatives doing something like that.

A very relatable story with a very relatable situation! I enjoyed this one a lot.

Thanks,

Louis
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Review of Snowday  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very well done.

This poem reminded me of snowball fights as a kid in New England. Well, as everyone's walking target in New England.

The visuals pulled you right into the environment. The writing was clear and concise. The font color made my eyes hurt on occasion.

Over all, quite enjoyable.
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Review of Crash  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Powerful and poignant. A story that is too true at times for a lot of people.

The protagonist is believable, and the creeping realization does grip you as he goes through the morning. You're waiting for the realization.

Good job on this.
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Review of Shift  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Powerful bit of story telling in a short amount of words. You're able to convey with this a story between the lines. Implied actions and devastation without having to spell it out. I quite enjoyed this one.
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Review of Ambush Bug  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A good poem with some good imagery. It got a little confusing in the middle for a moment, but I kind of like them that way, allows the reader to apply their own interpretation.

There is a good flow and bounce with the language here as well. Overall, a good job thanks for sharing this poem here.
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Review of Fairy Tale  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You aren't playing fair with this one!

Ho boy, that hurts the second time around. A very good story and a good ending for a little girl.
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Review of The note  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lol, now I have a sudden urge to visit my mother!

A good story. Like the letter nature, the emotional impact. You begin to question whether its a son or daughter. Whether this person was their spouse or parent.

That's a sign of a well written story. When we come away intrigued, desiring more. To spend more time with these characters.
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Review of Beacon  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Very good!

Your style is much improved in this. You build tension with creature in your words. I enjoyed this story a lot.
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Review of War of the donkey  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Some powerful imagery. A good use of the setting, but you didn't overload it with description. Good flash fiction.
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Review of A quiet evening  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Great pacing. Action ramped up here like watching a good horror movie. I got the impression that this is a dinner they've sat through countless times before.

Not a great fan of ambiguous endings but you make it work here.

The language in the beginning of some of the descriptions are slightly clunky at times but it still works. That's the only real advice I can give you here with this one.

Good job. This is a good story.
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Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is some great fun. And just what it's like to own a dog.

It feels both as if it's based in real life and written in such a manner that anyone with a dog can relate.

Very good work.
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Review of Stranger  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Interesting start here. Have good scene descriptions and the villain is unique. Can't wait to see what happens next, you have me intrigued.

Be careful on some scene descriptions they are venturing a little close to 1st Person.

All in all a good start! Can't wait to see what's gonna happen next.
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Review of The Devil is You  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Some good advice here. The old adage of "Inside you is two wolves".

It's hard to develop good habits to replace the bad ones, to develop good things to break the bad, but worth it in the end.

Trouble is, most of the time people rarely acknowledge how difficult changing and breaking habits can be. It all seems easy for most self help things to say.

You do acknowledge a bit of this here. Which I like. We are who we choose to be, after all.
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Review of Clair De Lune  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very beautiful and poignant slice of life piece about loss. Normally, I'd take a minute here to offer some advice in how to improve. However, any real advice I can give would simply be nitpicking.

The home was described well, leaving the atmosphere feel empty, as if it was missing something. The characters felt real, not like characters in a tale. This is done with idiosyncrasies and habits that reveal their nature, but also adds to the melancholy of the piece.

It's a very good story, one I rather enjoyed.
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Review of A Distant Cafe  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
When work reaches a certain age I try not to review things, but I couldn't help myself here.

Within this poem is a full day of fun and enjoyment. Not only can I see you and Emily there, I can feel myself along with you, almost feel the heat upon me, taste the cold root beer. Quite an accomplishment, especially for such a short poem. Great work!
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Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a good poem.

You pulled at the emotions that we all feel - those post holiday blues.

I like the rhyme and rhythm used in the poem as well.

Great job with this poem.
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Review of E- letter  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This has some good pacing. Some odd changes in rhythm here and there, which I like. It forces you to pay attention rather than getting lulled into a comfort that would let the poem fall into background noise.

The only nitpick I have is a repeated word. Granted, it is a nitpick, which is why I held it to last.

Great poem. Great poignant point.
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Review of Plums  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A good flash fiction that small children can enjoy. Simple motivations, simple word choices, even simple scene descriptions to give you a vision of the action without over complicating things.

Given that it's also a flash fiction, simple scene descriptions work best, too. It does work as a small joke especially the "you're both plumb foolish" at the end. I struggle to see if anymore could have been done with this. I really enjoyed this story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Honey Bee  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like this poem.

It has a musical quality to it that I most enjoy. I can almost hear the guitar in the background of this one. It's simple, and in this format quite effective. If you do record this one day, I hope you'll link it here so we can hear it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Rememberance  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A touching and beautiful tribute for memorial day.

It doesn't break any new ground, but I don't think that's what you were going for.

It makes you pause and reflect, and that's this poems greatest strength. Very good work!
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Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the unique words chosen here. They paint a picture of a grand, yet strange design.

It leaves a person feeling uncomfortable, as if beauty has been kiltered, cracked.

The only criticism I can offer is this: I can tell you wrote this in Microsoft Word. Every letter that starts a new line is capitalized, whether it begins a new sentence or idea or not.

It's a great poem and makes one think - as all great poetry should.
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Review of Bird Plant  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Williams Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
A bit of a slice of life here. I know some would knock it for not having a real conflict or a tough dramatic change, but not all stories require that, especially if they can bring a smile to your face.

It's a good short bit over all. Though a stronger conflict and twist would make it more engaging, it makes me wonder if it would make it better or not?

I quite enjoyed this one. Hope you won the contest this was for.
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