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First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
I am the judge for the Precious Gifts Contest. I want to thank you for entering the contest and hope to see you in future rounds! I am sorry for the judging to take so long, sometimes real life takes over more than you expect.
I first want to say I hope that this person has been able to get the medical care that is needed for them. I have to say this was totally different from what I expected for the poem.
I like that you write about this person dealing with Aids, and can laugh about their life! That is the most important part of having an illness! I really glad that you have a positive outlook on this person life!
I hope that you have received honest reviews for this this entry since Aids is a hard subject to write about and review from others!
Keep On Writing, Creating, Reviewing, and Helping on WDC!
Punctuation/Spelling: Nothing I could see as I read.
Grammar: Review on content rather than grammar.
Plot: I love this becuase you have a great memories of your Grandpa Tom! These are the memories that everyone wishes that they have with their family! I love the introduction about your grandpa and how he has all these wonder qualities, then you come to the best one of all: the smart ass!
Setting: I think my favorite part is "Grandpa Tom skipping around in the parking lot as you guys are going to the mall!"
Characters: You, your siblings, and your cousins relationship with your wonderful grandpa is ths greatist!! Melissa sounds familiar and little Ethan too... ;-P
General Comments: These are the memories that everyone should have with their grandparents! I have some awesome memories with my grandpa when I was younger with my sister. Awesome imagery, love the emotions in the descriptions. You had some hilarious parts in this and then some sentimental parts too!
I wish you luck in this round and hope to see you in future rounds of the PRecious Gifts Contest!
Keep On Writing, Creating, Reviewing, and Helping on WDC!! You Rock!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
I have to say that this is a great way to figure out if this is a sail boat or a bird. Reading this really has great imagery that make you really think about whether this is the boat or the bird. I really love that you were able to really were able to make this one go from one to the other with just a few words in the second line. The talk about Blue was also a cool way to make it either be the sail or the blue bird.
You are really doing better with your haikus!!! I can't wait to read more of them as you have improved on these!!!! Keep On Creating, Reviewing, Writing, and Helping WDC!!!
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
First of all, I want to thank you for entering the "Precious Gifts Contest!" I hope to see you in future rounds of the contest!
I looked at this thinking it was going to be more like an addiction to drugs or alcohol as you get the sweats from those as you go clean and sober! I was truely surprized to see it was about "sweat pants!"
I can see why others thought this was hilarious! I am still laughing from reading this! The only comment i have about this is that you might want to add some imagery with some details about which ones are you favorite. Adding which color of sweats you are most addicted too.
Other than that this is a fun poem to read and you have a cool "Precious Gift!"
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I really love this story! I read this to my son who is still laughing about it. He said this is really cool. He asked what happened next though. I love the imagery in this story. Hope that you go on to make a new one to follow this to see if the pig and wolfe live happily ever after. How she felt when she found out that he ate her brothers...I could see this going into 2-3 more stories....
Keep On Writing, Creating, Reviewing and Helping WDC! You Rock!
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I have to say that this is an awesome poem you have wrote to SHERRI GIBSON! She is a great person to talk to when you have a problem! Your poem descriptions gave a picture with this was was clear on how much you adore sherri for being an awesome friend!! I love the imagery this brings and the warm feeling as you read through the poem!!
Keep On Writing, Creating, Reviewing and Helping on WDC!!! You Rock!
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First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
Hello there,
I first want to thank you for entering the
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. I am the judge this round for the contest. I hope that you do come back for future rounds of the conetst.
I think that this is an awesome "prayer" to have written for your "Precious Gift!" I am hoping that this was not written about someone personally you know. I love the imagery the imagery through out the whole poem. My favorite part was the description of the Angel and how she helped her friend through the whole time to save that person from attempting their life I supposed.
Feeling the feathers as our read how soft they are gave a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. I love the descripton of her face, and how delicate of her hand when you reach hers represents how awesome you friendship will always be! Knowing that she was going to be there to help you no matter what is awesome! Friendship's are the best to have when you have no one else to turn to. I hope that your "angel" will always be there for you no matter what!!!
Keep On Writing, Sharing, Creating, and Reviewing on WDC!!! Good luck in this round with the contest. Please come back and show your work in future rounds!
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Don't forget there is "Under 12 Months Group A" when you have graduated from "newbie" but less than a year old here on WDC!!!
This review is being done as part of "Invalid Item"
Punctuation/Spelling: Nothing noticeable in this poem.
Grammar: Review content over grammar...
Plot: I think that you have done a better job with this Haiku! I could picture it as I was reading this. I love the picture that this placed as I was reading the descriptions of your words.
Setting: The rose is beautiful in that crystal vase. You really have an improved on this wonderful poem! You definitely kept with the traditional nature theme with this as you described the rose.
Characters: n/a
General Comments: I am so happy that you have improved with this new haiku, please let me know when you have written more haikus! I hope that you are entering this into some of the contests that are on WDC!
Punctuation/Spelling: Nothing that I could see with this.
Grammar: Nothing tha I could see but I review on content over grammar.
Plot: Assuming that this is a haiku since you have not really recognize what the form is.
Setting: Well I am not sure what to say about the setting of this. I would like to point out that when you put your poem in the intro when you read about this is not really interesting when you go to read the poem.
Characters:n/a
General Comments:
Honestly in the intro it was alot better than in the body of the static item. I would think that if you would put it up like that you would have a better way of describing in this actually of this. What happened here is that you took the poem and put it in the body again.
I really think it looks good under the title with the commas and all. I also think this needs a little more emotion of showing the singing leaves besides with the "Zephyr"! I hope to read this again.
Haiku's are full of imagery and about the picture that it give you when you read this. I write haikus because I love to take a picture and see if I can have the reader see what I have wrote about. I have two in my port that are from Two different Georgia O'Keefe painting. If you look at all my reviews from them everyone has a different picture of what they have seen while reading them.
I hope that you do not think that I am just "picking" on you when I do these reviews with your haikus, I am not. I am just hoping this helps you with writing these more. I personally think you have alot of talent but you are trying to hard to do these. This takes away from the poem you are trying to have us read.
Traditional Haiku's are about nature, but you have to have it flow right when reading this to make them work. Keep on Writing! If you ever need help you can email me on these. Or just take a look in my port to see what I have in there. I am not saying that I am the best at these, but the ones I have done are some of the best ones I have in my port. I do not put them in my port until I think they are ok to be in there...
Here is review 12 of 20 from the Wild Card Review Contest that you have won! Black Willow has done a great job on this. The only real problems I see is that the Color of the font is a little hard to read against the "darkness" of the header! I think that you should have a "dearker" description about this image so when some one comes to look at this they will have some idea on what to expect.
I think if you really use some of the imagery and emotions that you put intoy your poetry all your folders, images, and the whole port will be awesome. I do remember that they wanted to see more "word painting" then just the images for the Theme Port contest!! I think you could place in the contest. I really wish you the best of luck! Keep On Writing!!!
This is review eight of 20 in the Wild Card Review Contest. I was again hoping that with all your images that you would have one of them on the folder or a wonderful "dark" folder header or a favorite image on here! I have to say that you and I do have one thing in common! Once I get my port settled, I think you will realize that I have a image, siggie, cnotes collection too! Mine of is mostly Butterflies! My kids each have a collection to that I get for them too!!
This folder I think just needs a little more TLC, An awesome header, and your wonderful emotional imagery and it will be perfect!!! I do wish you luck with your Themed Port Contest!!! Keep On Writing, Creating, designing, and helping WDC!!!
Staine this is review three of 20 for the wild card port raid! I think that you have a great start in the Themed Port contest! I think that this was a great way to show that you have a "lighter" side of your dark poetry. The description really lets you know that this is going to still be dark, but the "happier" side.
I wish you the best of luck this time around in the Theme Port. I think you have an awesome chance of winning!!! Keep On designing your Port!
Punctuation/Spelling: Just a few minor errors that maybe spell check did not catch.
Grammar: Not one to really say on grammar since I am not the best in that.
Plot: This had a surprise for the ending. I really did not expect what had happned...do not want to say becuase it will spoil the story! You do keep the reader attention through this...
Setting: Starting off from her house and then until before school when the gift was given...
Characters: Tom, Sarah, Mrs. Johnson, and Sarah's mom...two others but that will give away the ending...
General Comments: This story is awesome...I was really surprise about the ending that happens...I hope that you will be adding more to this cause I would like to see what happens with Tom and Sarah! Awesome imagery!!! You could picture perfectly...
There are some spots that I would really add more emotion too. Like the Kiss, ending-you can feel if you picture it, but just reading it, needs a little! Tom and Sarah watching Tom and Jerry cartoons, and he leaves...add little emotion to that part and it will get the reader really picturing this!
I Really think this is an awesome story! Hope to read more if you continue this into a book or collection of stories!!!! Keep On Writing!!!
Punctuation/Spelling: I think that there were some minor mistakes that spell check probably did not catch.
Grammar: Nothing that I could see that was popping out.
Plot: Taking a shy girl who mets a "biker" guy that is not your everyday "social class of the biker guys." Father and mum approving!
Setting: Church, Pub, Pete's Apartment, and Jenny's house
Characters: Caroline,Cassandra. Pete, Jim, Jenny, her father and her mother.
General Comments: I have to say that the story did start off a little slow then slowly became something that you would want to read more. I think taht you could have put a little emotion when Jenny and Pete go to her parents house and was worried that they would forbid her. Also a little more detail about Cassandra and the cult. How did it get started? Why were they there? How come Cassandra was the one who was involved!
THe imagery in this was good. I think if you show more emotion in the different spots. Also more detail into the whole deal with Cassandra, you will have awesome imagery then! Keep ON writing!!!
Plot: Real life Jail that you are writing about the gaurds and how the women are treated.
Setting: Inside the Jail, with the women being looked at by the gaurds as meat.
Characters: THe gaurds and two women Margaret and Big Christine.
General Comments: Dragon Blue you did a great job with imagery of the "hen House" as the guards keckled at them. I could picture this as I read the description was read. You could feel the emotions in this as you read through the poem. The prose was very helpful know what you were writing about and that it was based on a real place that you describing!!! Keep On writing!!! You Rock!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
General Comments: Rebecca this is a great article about being A full-time mother and a writer! I have to commend you to be able to do both. I knowt hat Iti s hard for me to do both and I put my writing to the side. I think taht you are awesome and I know that you are awesome at your writing!! I will definitely look at this again for tips! Cause I know if you can do it, so can. I hope that you place in the contest too!!!
Keep On Writing!!! Keep On Helping!! You Rock!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
General Comments: Dragon Blue you have done another awesome job with your work!! I think the imagery in this great! You have done a great job with the descriptions and this is really funny about the Character too!!!! Keep On Writing!!!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
I have to say that i am not sure what this really about as I had to read this 2 times. Is this about addiction to watching TV no matter what is on. Or was it something else! I hope that I can read this aGain later and review it again. It might be me that does not understand for sure what you are writing about...Keep On Writing...
Dragone Blue, I agree with your answers to these questions. I think that the government does not focous on religion enough no matter what demonitaion or non denomination you support! I think that politics are focus way to much on business and upper class! Poverty needs to be an issue that needs to be looked into! There are way to many that live in lower class or or below lower class that are struggling to stay above poverty levels! I hope that you keep helping with promoting Helping the Homeless and Poverty just as I am! Keep On Writing!!! You Rock!!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
Dragon this is a great way to get out the word of homeless with the petitions and the other ognaizations. If you call United way, they can really help out to let you know about the foodbanks, places that will help pay rent, and utilities. You can usually go to the Ywaca to get food in their food banks. I am going to take a look to see if there is anywhere there that can help out.
Yes paying that much in rent makes hard to live off nothing. I live off of $803 a month, but luckily I have help with foodstamps for the food for the kids, and I will be getting section 8 which helps with paying your rent. I had to wait 2.5 years to get my section 8 but it is so worth it. This way I can help get my kids their cloths with out having to go to a clothing bank. I am proud that I have gone there cause my kids have gotten nice things there when I could not afford it!
Never let Pride get in anyones way!!! I almost did that and was homeless 2 weeks, but If I had not taken the apartment I had I would have been living out of my storage units! My kids would have been at their dads...
Keep On Helping! Keep On Writing!! You Rock!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
General Comments: Bragone Blue you have done an awaesome job with this editorial! I can't believe that they arrested people for actually trying to feed the homeless. Do they not realize how much these families need the food!!! OMG, this is just horrible! I can't even really put how I feel on this because it is over 18+ and I do not want to offend anyone with the language I would use!!!
You and I have both been homeless at one time and know how hard it is to become self sufficient and be able to live in your own house and say that this is your home!!! I tell you if it was not for some of my friends and food banks I do not know what I would do! I always give any extra Foodstamps in food to the food banks or to friends I know that need it so I know they are eatting!!
Keep On Writing!!! Keep On Helping!!! You Rock!!!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
Plot: interesting way to add the audio to your lyrics.
Setting: not sure what the setting is supposed to be honestly.
Characters: soldiers-US and England-
General Comments: I am not sure how to take this cause you have added the audio to hear the lyrics, but reading the lyrics you do not get the same feeling as you are singing...I think that the emotion is not in the owrds as you had written in this as I taking this as a poem...YOu can see the imagery in this...you can hear it when you listen to the audio. I just think you need to add more to this as you read through this with out the audio...Keep On Writing!!
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
Awesome essay wrote about "Where I'm From,"! You did a great job with the imagery as you have described where you are from! The only thing I think that would help this, maybe would be a little more emotion shown through out this! OTher than that, this is awesome!
I really enjoyed reading this, and love that you have gone from homeless and projects to where you are now. If you look in my port, I have a few different pieces on being homelessness and poverty!
Characters: NOt really sure cause I could not get past the first few paragraphs.
General Comments:
I really feel like this could have had better opening! You need to get all that line spacing from your title and author to the actual story. The really is not much "catchy way" to get the readers attention! Keep On Writing...
Not a Newbie any more and not a yearold here at WDC, come to visit the "Under 12 Months Group A"
First of all, Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you have had it easy getting around the site. If you need any help there are many groups around here that help out newbies! I would reccomend "Noticing Newbies" where you can have you work reviewed! I also would recommend "I Remember When Group" and "Angel Army"! Noticing Newbies Newsletter is very helpful too!
Here is the fourth review of the four! I started to review another one then I saw this in your port. So I went to see this, first of all, I want to say Congrats on that special gift of an upgrade! Thats one of best gifts here on WDC to receive. I hate to tell you, but no one is going to tell you who gave it to you! That is why they are anomynous. hehe!! I can say that I did not, but would have nominated you if I would have known about it to get one!
I am glad that you are having a wonderful time here at WDC, and yes this site is very addictive! I have to come here and check on everything before I start my day!!! I am so glad that you are part of WDC and Angel Army! Here is a ((((hug)))) from one angel to another!!!! Keep On Writing!!!
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