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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luciuss
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27 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Basic Decencies  
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (3.5)
Very true.
I always try leave the door open for the person behind me. But come to think of it, if someone in front of me leaves the door open. I generally forget to check behind me. Will look out for that one.

I know what you mean by Snarky, another word to describe such a cowardly act is spineless.

That's why things go missing. Never replacing what they are using, to the way they found it. Might as well put it in their pocket and be gone with it. (Obviously not your sibling).

I am the one always lagging behind. Not out of slowness, but so as to see what's happening in front.

If I was to yell in my house. No one would listen as I now live alone.

When I did live with others, no one ever listened, so know I write.

Nice rant.

2
2
Review by Luciuss
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Very entertaining.
I really like your style, you are able to write in a variety of genres, each with its own style.
Being a person who watches a lot of movies (used to), I get the feel and understand the characters.
I can`t give a set time but the period is very familiar.
The use of dialogue is very fitting, the way the main character talks is straight from down south?
Nice format. Only an idiot would question the grammar.
100 points for you.

Luciuss
3
3
Review of Still  
Review by Luciuss
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Keep working on it.
By which I mean continue the story.
Your account mong-kok, I could relive it as if I had been there.
Your use of epiphany, and the dream at the end, gives the reader an understanding of the past.
Your style seems witty and very descriptive.
Nothing wrong with format/structure.
Only saw 2 spelling mistakes(if your interested, but you did say not finished yet)
The joke Mr Ryan tells about driving in China- Mrs Patterson had riotus laugh- doesn't quite fit.
The paragraph that starts with `Jason gave an honest smile` it later says no truer e`er been spoke.
A brilliant piece, hope to read more. 100 points for you.

Luciuss
4
4
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (4.0)
Funny as hell.
There should be more.
Who would know upgrading your phone could be so intricate.
Lovely dialogue, the ex is on form. Sounds like the London hottie is as well.
Nothing wrong with grammar or format.
There is a lovely flow and ebb to story.
Any downsides, could be turned into a short story? if you have enough to entertain the reader with, seems like you do.

Luciuss
5
5
Review of The Trick To Love  
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (3.5)
Considering I am heartbroken, this piece runs parallel with how I feel.
Nothing wrong with grammar or format.
Lovely swinging cadence. Great tempo.
It is an adventure, it can leave you sweet and gooey or a bitter after taste that won`t dissipate no matter the weather.

I suppose its true, better to have loved and lost(not in my case) than to never have loved at all.

Luciuss
6
6
Review by Luciuss
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I love anything that contains dialogue, you can really get a feel of what the writer is trying to convey.
The premise is not something anyone can create.
As usual grammar and layout, is second to none.
Nice ending. Can imagine there is a lot of scope for the executive.
Could there be more?
Luciuss
7
7
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (3.5)
I liked this piece.
Was a bit of as shock after first paragraph.
Found nothing wrong with Grammar, format/layout or structure.
If there was a fault,(I don't really mean fault) more description of settings.
But your description of feelings and experience more than makes up for it.

Luciuss
8
8
Review of The Dream Fox  
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (3.5)
A lovely Fable.
The three points of story telling are evident:
Narration, taking the story from A-B and finally on to Z.
Description, allowing the reader to visualize the setting.
Dialogue, so the reader can relate and understand the characters.
After the introduction of the little girl, we hear no more till the last two paragraphs.
Feels like she could be more involved in the story, children love reading about other children.
From the last two paragraphs, the relationship between fox and girl is very apparent and could definitely be built on.
Loved the ogre(who doesn't), and the dialogue was spot on.
Doesn't seem to need dumbing down.
The story is very good as it is, it could be lengthened, but be careful not to loose essence of your story telling. That's what made it the story it is.
Format and structure was not fault able.
Hope this helps.

Luciuss
9
9
Review by Luciuss
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
A terrible chapter in history. Its always the infamous days that are stuck in our minds, like those soles trapped for hours in both towers or the hapless passengers on doomed flights.
I found your recollection informative and nostalgic.
You certainly have a style which gives the reader perspective on what you write.
Your first 2 paragraphs, although you recall the death of your grandparents, you were able to cast a little sunshine by recalling the many 1st`s we all go through.
Paragraphs 4 and 5 could be broken up a bit, makes it easier to read punctuations on certain sentences.
I`m still a novice(third day on site), I hope my comments helped.
Thanks for the 1st memories:)

Luciuss
10
10
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (3.0)
Ironic that a cat has been trying to gain entrance to a home I have just moved into for over a week.
I thought I was the only one with feline problems.
But mine is real.
well planned and executed. I found your poem very evoking.
Nothing wrong with the grammar, as far as I can read.(have read a couple of times now).
I am starting to understand poetry a little, since joining this site yesterday.
I would have to say it`s the 2nd best poem I have read -and I have read a few-
Each paragraph has its own story to tell. Although got a bit lost with first 2 lines of paragraph 3.

Luciuss
11
11
Review of Seventy-One  
Review by Luciuss
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Another great read.
Format and layout leaves nothing to chance.
Can see the characters relationship and journey.
Serial offenders or just dependent on narcotics.
Excellent explanation of journey, and a real sense of the time.
Dialogue between characters could have been taken from a script:)
Would have loved to had read more, which is the first point of a good read.
Keep the reader thinking `what happens next`. I will be.

Luciuss
12
12
Review of Bedpost.  
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (3.5)
charming and delightful.
Didn't think first 2 lines where relevant.
if you split each verse or two at a time into own paragraphs, format would be more digestible.
Punctuation of important verse`s or ending of some verses(with punctuation) would be beneficial to reader and of course your self. Taking words to new heights and creating more of an impact on readers.
you've really touched on the true meaning of adore and loss. On their relationship, and his loss.
you could if you wanted to extend this as I was left wanting to read more.

Luciuss
13
13
Review of Skills  
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (4.0)
short and sweet.
Format was excellent,
They are definitely not useful skills, the words you use or the actions you display.
Poetry is harder to conjure than a story, I prefer to read poetry that is easy to understand-as is yours-
I cant comment on grammar etc. as I am still a novice and found nothing wrong with words you used.
You seem to have a flair for poetry with a tone angled at heartache. I will be reading more of your work to see if your journey has a happy ending.

Luciuss
14
14
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (3.5)
I hope you shared this piece with the depressed boy. I`m sure if you did he will no longer be so sad.
Sometimes people just need to be awoken from their slumber, a limerick, a tale, a gesture.
Something that will make you sit up and pay attention.
Your piece would make anyone happy, which is what happiness is about.
We can only be worthy of happiness by making others happy. But in the case of the 1st boy, we do as I said before, sometimes need help.
By making him happy, you in turn would become happiness.
I thought your piece was thought provoking, maybe the paragraphs could have been broken up more, but that would only benefit those who struggle to read small print.
Look forward to reading more from you.
15
15
Review of A Necessary Harm  
Review by Luciuss
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Riveting. Felt like I was reading an extract from a novel by Stephen King or Clive Barker.
The format was easy going and understandable.
Could be serial killers or characters with the need to feed.
Either way the extract is well thought out and there is a definite style to your writing.
I try not to comment on the grammar side as this is my first day on this site, seemed well planned and executed.
Look forward to reading more from your archives of `endless thoughts`.

Luciuss
16
16
Review by Luciuss
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
BRILLIANT. going through heartache myself. So can easily relate to this poem. There was me thinking i`m the only one.
Short, direct and to the point.
Hopefully you wont be fully killed, so as you may keep on writing.

Luciuss
17
17
Review by Luciuss
Rated: E | (4.0)
RE; I found your essay easy to read and understand. Made me want to finish reading, at the end I was half expecting another chapter.
I suppose I could relate to some aspects, (my father is still alive to this day). But he was never around, my parents divorced when I was 10 and I never recovered till I left home aged 20.
As this is my first time ever using this site, I do not find myself a worthy critique to judge your essay. I'm a novice so you may find errors etc. in my grammar and what I write about your essay may not seem relevant.
None the less, if your essay was part of a novel or short story I would be compelled to read on as I found nothing wrong with your layout/presentation or story telling prowess.
I hope you enjoyed reading my review, as I enjoyed reading your essay. It contained numerous key points, was informative and never strayed from your goal.
I also wish you could recall more because as I mentioned before it is well worth a read, being from memory (actual event), made it more easy to read and understand.
Luciuss
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