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2,292 Public Reviews Given
2,292 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
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#2259390 by LightinMind
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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Review of Morning Glory  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Val . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Morning Glory "  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Despite bee stings, being the target of children's games and being beaten up by the guards you will overcome. The signs are there, in the trees, the clouds and the birds. The gods of the universe shall bow before you when you find your own true smile and you assert, by the power of your will, the superiority of your soul.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

This was a curious and provocative poem with some interesting imagery.

Are superheroes born in Auschwitz? Is the will to power able to demand and compel the obedience of gods? Can I escape pain and humiliation only by becoming the one to whom all others bow?

This was a curious mix of images. What have prison guards to do with children, playing with toy guns, for instance? You assert the transformation of a mouse into a man which coheres with the power/growth theme and then in the next line have the same man turn into a bat in a fit of doubt.

The biggest issue that I would have with this poem is the rather blasphemous desire that God should bow to you in the last two stanzas. Surely you should learn to spell and speak proper English before you start telling God what to do. It is unnecessary to become greater than God to secure protection from those who harm you. You only need to find His protection.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

This reads like English is not your first language, hence the awkward phraseology and word choices.

I would recommend Grammarly or quillbot.com as a way of dealing with the innumerable grammatical issues here. Things like where you use capitals, spelling, etc.

munkind - mankind


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


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127
127
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Johnny O . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Poppies and Sunflowers"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Keep peace a chance by forgiving rather than fighting. Money is not a reason to die. Intransigent perspectives that cannot see the other side are a major cause. Blood-soaked battlefields are the symptom, not the cause...


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

There is a time for war and a time for peace... Mainly wars are wasteful and stupid but sometimes we fight for a good cause. Measured over the centuries I would suggest the immense cost of WW2 for example was worth it for overthrowing Nazism. Had the war not been fought the British Empire might still exist but so also the German Reich and Japanese Imperial Empire that were truly brutal by comparison.

The war in Ukraine has been an immense waste of resources and lives and especially costly for Russia and of course Ukraine. In the long run, it looks like permanently reducing Russia to the status of a second-rate power and realigning Europe with North America and away from the totalitarian powers it had been flirting with for the trade benefits in Russia and China. Europe had been inadvertently strengthening both dictatorships by its actions and it is only now because of this war that that is starting to change.

Maybe war solves nothing but it changes everything and as someone who believes in the sovereignty and goodness of God I cannot help but see His hand in that guiding history forward.

You are right the war of words precedes the war of weapons. Complex justifications and verbal maneuvers are required to persuade people as to the value of sacrificing their children to some dubious goal of conquest or expansion or the removal of some long-term threat and the securing of the borders. This was the case in Ukraine though the government here in Germany managed to ignore all of that until two days before the conflict started.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

The lines are a little long for a poem and maybe you need to read them out loud to hear how they roll off the tongue as some of them sound a little awkward. Also, it seems you could not decide on whether you wanted the poem to rhyme or not.


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


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128
128
Review of The Mick  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, 🌕 HuntersMoon . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "The Mick"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

One of many Irishman who left the Emerald Isle and ended up in the USA 'the Mick' knows how to drink and tell stories. But then a gunslinger comes to town and 'the Mick' becomes a character in his own plot...


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I have never called an Irishman a Mick. Maybe a Paddy. People used to tell Irish jokes in my youth which usually implied they were stupid, losers, and prone to drink and fight too much. This has all changed since the good Friday agreement and since Ireland became richer per capita than England.

Living in the UK I grew up in the era of the IRA when they were blowing up Englishmen, women, and children in British supermarkets and my school would have periodic bomb alerts due to them. I was not that enthusiastic at that time about the Irish diaspora in the USA who were major funders of terrorism in my country.

But here we have an unlikely hero who might have been drunk at the time of his act of heroism but since everyone else ran for it no one will begrudge him his Irish courage. He shoots the bad guy dead and is toasted with pints of Guinness or shots of Irish whiskey ever since with shamrocks springing supernaturally from his grave.

I think you have to sing this song with an Irish accent as then the rhymes work best


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major was found.


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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129
129
Review of What We Fight For  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello, xxx. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I saw "What We Fight For"  on the list of Chapter One Contest entries for last month. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Set in Chornobaivka in Kherson Province in what could have been the last few months Oleksander is a Ukrainian soldier alone in a unique standoff with a Russian soldier. Maybe it is easier to kill when the enemy is far away but here the battle is close and personal...

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Any commentary on the current war bringing home the sacrifices, stakes and also the horrible waste of the conflict is worthwhile in my view but this was an exceptional piece of work.

Your context descriptions were powerful and really dragged the reader into the conflict

Your protagonist is Oleksander fresh out of school but now with a year of war having burned away all youthful naivety. He cusses like a trooper and like many Ukrainians do all too freely. He loves his country, will fight for it to the death, and hates Russians in the abstract for their invasion and what they have done to Ukraine. Yet here he fights a war with an enemy during a dialog between the two of them, here war becomes personal as they converse in a shared language and in a shared predicament. There is bravado and rehearsed defiance in the exchange common to military men, neither showing weakness. It is only after the man is dead and Oleksander gets to live again that he starts to think about the man. About how similar he looks, about his wound that meant he was going to die anyway and probably already knew that.

You never named the Russian only the girl Katya in the picture that he carried. Then the Russian tells the Ukrainian he only has one bullet left and that his family already knows that he is not returning. That is odd honesty on a battlefield and given their previous exchange of warlike words. He does not cuss, but he is firm and deadly in speech and there is a tone of resignation as well as solid defiance in the man's voice. The picture humanizes him and makes his sacrifice all the more tragic. That was a powerful and moving moment. By the end of the chapter, we seem to have moved on from the theme of the photo and to the new army business but that moment might be more powerful than anything that could follow it.

Maybe a great many Russian soldiers know deep down the war is not legitimate but at the end of the day they fight for their country and their loved ones anyway. That defiance and deep determination have been underestimated time and time again by too many nations. Their sacrifices may not be recorded by history as heroic ones and yet they are as can be plainly seen by the numbers who are dying in their nation's cause. All nations have fought wars they regret and wars they are proud of, the soldiers fight regardless. Despite the propaganda, the regular Russian army has not been broken in this conflict, just slaughtered in horrific numbers. It is stories like this that bring out the real cost, the daughters that will never know fathers and the wives and mothers that have lost loved ones.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

There are a few, You might want to try out https://quillbot.com/grammar-check which is an excellent way to identify errors with commas, inappropriate question marks, passive voice and other issues with your text. But never do a fix-all - the language AI is not that smart and does not actually understand what you were trying to say.

Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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130
130
Review of Two Souls  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Amethyst Angel (House Mormont) . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Two Souls"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Conversational poetry between two characters despised by society but who find completion and goodness in each other. The man Dan cannot understand why Miriam sticks by him even when he only seems to take from her but is grateful for this. The woman Miriam finds that by giving to Dan she is able to overcome her own demons, love, and not be the monster so many others label her as.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I loved the concept here and there was a feel of two different personalities. The man takes the woman gives. It had a sort of Bonnie and Clyde vibe to it. Evil to everyone else but star-struck lovers with each other. But so also there was an honesty and openness about faults and the humility and authenticity here was quite refreshing. The poems add credence to the notion that romantic love is about finding the person that completes us and draws out the best in us. It is not about two perfect people but two people who fit together. In this case Dan expresses gratitude and wonder and needs her and Miriam learns to love and give and escape her own troubles by doing so. For the one, he finds the strength to live and endure and for the other a means by which her soul can bloom.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

This was free verse and as you said conversational so not requiring rhyme or rhythm. It worked for me.


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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131
131
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, DMB Secundus . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Falling In Lust with You"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The poet wants the woman with green eyes and will endure much to be with her.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

This poem reminded me of two contrasting conversations.

The first I witnessed at a university once. A man was trying to chat up this woman and his routine involved adopting just about every feminist slogan there was. He looked needy and desperate and his words affirming women and their struggles against the evils of "patriarchy" and centuries of male oppression and subjugation seemed a little hollow. I felt ashamed to have witnessed this conversation.

The second was a guy with a really bad reputation but with all the confidence of a stud walking up to a woman and simply asking her for a dance. She turned into this gushing giggling fan girl in moments. In that case, I thought the woman was stupid.

Lust is glorified in our generation but it can look either pathetic or dangerous to someone not caught up in the moment.

In this poem, you express the intensity of the longing and the emotion very well

*Quill*Mechanical issues

You kept the rhyme but sometimes the meaning was a little obscure


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


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132
132
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, GentleThief5 . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Episode 3: At the zoo"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Blake thinks it is a good idea to fight a lion at the Zoo...


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Even a relatively tame lion in a zoo is heavier, faster, more agile and far stronger than a man. Maybe Samson could wrestle lions but Blake was kidding himself. A full-grown male lion can top out 660 pounds and is at a minimum 4-5 times stronger than a man. With the sharp claws, teeth, extra agility and speed almost no man stands a chance in a straight fight with a lion. Blake adds the extra factor of being dressed in steak.

This was funny but I doubt he would have survived the experience.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

No capitalization of sentences and you say i not I.


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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133
133
Review of Shackled  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello, 🌕 HuntersMoon . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Shackled"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A demon-possessed murderer makes his sacrifice to hate. Repeat, retreat... each time the same.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Very grim and indeed chilling reading of Jack the Ripper who used to stalk and kill his 11 female victims around Whitechapel. He would cut their throats and perform various abdominal mutilations which led people to suspect he might have been a doctor.

Given the gruesome nature of the murders, I suppose it is possible he was possessed.

You use very vivid language that illustrates the theme very well: cold wind, dancing shadows. The rhyme contributes to the mesmerizing flow of the words.

At the end of the day, this is a description of evil without a glimpse of light or hope in it.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major was found.


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing  (E)
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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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134
134
Review of Teachers  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Oletha . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Teachers"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Teachers can fail to help and bring out the true potential of someone and the student may end up blaming them for their failures in life.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

This poem conveys feelings of disappointment, resentment and of the impact of neglect from someone who expected better support. There is an element of self-hatred in this poem and a feeling of insignificance and lost opportunity. No examples are given of what was meant by this. You blame the Teacher.

As someone who was trained as a teacher and taught briefly in school and regularly in churches, I have a lot of respect for the challenges they face. Faced with numerous classes of students it is often hard to find a way to reach the potential in every person. What works with most students may not work with this student. In German schools, they encourage students to actively participate in classes by making it a part of their grades. This also means that the Teacher gets to hear how the student thinks through issues and what works and does not work with each individual. But this is an incredibly demanding task. The student does need to participate in the process and laziness is a major factor in poor grades. That said it is clear that some teachers are far worse than others and their styles are too standardized to reach students with special needs. Some people are simply not suited for an academic world but thrive in the workplace where the system of rewards and punishments is different.

This poem sounds like someone has passively received the labels that have been assigned to them without fighting them.

People have written me off many times and I delight in proving them wrong. I am an immigrant here in Germany and have experienced firsthand the ways in which the natives apply inflexible standards and assessment criteria without any humor or humanity that have nothing to do with the job. The answer is quite simply to recognize the dignity that God has given you as someone made in His image, to not accept the curses that are piled on you but rather to fight them and prove the B§$%&ds wrong. And always remember it is not over until the fat lady sings.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Concise sentences but lacking examples or context.


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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135
135
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, cailynn . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Immune Checkpoint forImmunotherapy"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Immune checkpoints moderate the body's immune response to malignant cells like cancer. Blocking this inhibition by CTLA-4 and PD-1 for example has had encouraging results and allowed the immune system to attack cancer cells. Research into these is progressing rapidly though mainly remains a promising approach rather than an actual treatment plan at present.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

The cure for cancer is of course the holy grail of medical research. It is strange how some people's bodies develop a certain foolishness toward immanent threats to their well-being and do not act to eliminate cancer cells. But how this overall wisdom of our bodies is regulated in a coherent and holistic fashion is still being researched and is a complex project. For example, CD28 activates immune cells while the author mentions CTLA-4 and PD-1 which inhibits them. How these two interact has not been fully explored.

Our bodies can cope with all sorts of threats yet sometimes do not operate according to design. That is a puzzling mystery that medical science is only just beginning to uncover.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Given the presence of mistranslated special characters, this looks like a cut-and-paste job.

It might have been better to reference the original work:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29211042/


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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136
136
Review of Lifestyle  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, Karen . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Lifestyle"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Women are more at risk of pancreatic cancer than men and their lifestyles may be a factor in that. The major risk factors are being overweight, diabetic or smoking.
His tips include don't smoke, losing weight, stopping eating sugar, moderating your use of alcohol and don't eat meats that have been handled incorrectly.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Your word choices here seem odd as if this was the product of a translator program from something you wrote in another language. You use the word gamble rather than risk for example.

Most of the information here seemed accurate but you should probably also include the advice that a person suffering from these things should consult with a medical professional.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

The style was awkward and not that engaging.


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing  (E)
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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
137
137
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, JCosmos . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Richest Man in the world eats Ice Cream"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The richest man in the world's ambition is to develop a singularity and become a robot-human cyborg. His conversation with his wife will have to happen later. Right now he wants ice cream.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Elon Musk has talked about this possibility. I guess even if he becomes a transhuman cyborg he might still have a craving for ice cream. I wondered what issues with his wife he had to deal with later. It seems that his detachment from personal relationships to achieve his ambitions had implications for his marriage.

The poem describes the tension between the futuristic groundbreaking technical ambitions and the more human side of the man. The journey toward achieving one's ambition is also a personal story even if the ambition is to become a transhuman with his cleverest half being the AI he incorporates into himself. If the singularity is self-aware and more intelligent and yet incorporated into his humanity is his ambition to become a slave to his new AI consciousness?

You did quite a lot in this short poem.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Perhaps a little more vivid description would have helped, which icecream and where did he eat it


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing  (E)
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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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138
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Review of Candles of Eight  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Angelica- House Florent B & W . This is a July Raid Review, on the theme of Winter Holidays, from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received {item:} via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

This is my second attempt at this review as the first one included a major error about the acrostic nature of the poem.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Serene and contemplative poem with a candle focus. As each candle is lit a prayer is said. There are elephant tusks on the table and maybe on the walls and ceiling also. There is a holiday theme here.


*Quill*Commentary

Candles of eight sounds a little like pieces of eight and so a pirate theme and came from the contest prompt. What is being celebrated is not clear, there are not eight days to the Christmas festival for example. The prayers and candles could indicate a ritual of some sort, a special remembrance of something conducted with some reverence.

The elephant tusks as table decorations is intriguing but also distracting. Phrases like "so long the prayer is" and "Over the walls and through the ceiling" convey an expansive sense to the poem.

Overall I found the meaning a little opaque and ambiguous. This might mean a lot to someone who knew what all the symbols meant but it means little to me.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major found.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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139
139
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, FRoG . This is a July Raid Review, on the theme of Winter Holidays, from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus"  via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Mommy's been mistreated and Daddy ran off with that redhead in the bar. Santa too has had his troubles and that kiss under the mistletoe was a Christmas present of sorts for wounded souls...

*Quill*Commentary

My theme today seems to be about those unspoken scripts and metanarratives that we seem to be locked into. We are playing parts in someone else's play even when we are saying something original as in this story. But who wrote the language model in which we situate our stories?

To follow this narrative and buy into it I have to accept the existence of Santa Claus, that he was married and that he had a bad breakup. That Ophelia had a friendship with Santa going back years and that Santa had intimate feelings for her. Either that or I just have to treat the story as a bit of fun. It seems that here we have the Santa Claus narrative broken by the same kinds of pressures and infidelities that plague the modern American family. Divorce and breakups interlock with the enduring festival of Christmas and a child's expectation and excitement about receiving presents. Or maybe this story is all too American and too far removed from Christmas to really qualify.

I actually found this story quite moving in that it described a real problem, in a humorous way and came to a solution of a sort that allowed both Santa, Ophelia and even little Tim some joy at Christmas time. Even if all of them had kind of missed the point of what Christmas is actually about.


*Quill*Mechanical issues


This was written in a sort of note-taking way, like a rough draft idea for something to be finalized later.


Thanks for sharing.

Raid Tag 3

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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140
140
Review of SANTA IS A PILOT?  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Penelope Moonbeam . This is a July Raid Review, on the theme of Winter Holidays, from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "SANTA IS A PILOT?"  via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Acrostic poem about Santa Claus and his new pilot license. Mrs. Clause attends the yearly run...


*Quill*Commentary

This was funny and creative. Santa Claus apparently needed a US flying license to be able to conduct his yearly rounds around the world! It seems impossible given the parameters of his mission that he will be able to follow anything like assigned aircraft speeds and I understand it is rare for aviation authorities to fine individuals rather than airlines for doing this.

The need to regulate Santa's activities does seem like an overreach by the authorities, surely some exceptions can be made. After all, you cannot stop Christmas.

That Mrs. Claus plans to travel with her husband on the job means less space in the sleigh. With the growing demand for presents from a global population of eight billion does this mean that some children will go without this Christmas? I urge Mrs. Claus to consider the children and leave some space in Santas Sleigh.

Psst... there is no such person as Santa Claus. But do not tell your kids and you did not get this from me.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Well you did acrostic and it seemed to work.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of Respect  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Magnolia . This is a July Raid Review, on the theme of Winter Holidays, from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Respect"  via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is set in a cold, harsh environment, possibly Scotland in another time. The context is the loss of a father in battle two years before. The protagonist senses an intruder by the smell of smoke and scraps of biscuits eaten on the table. The father's ring wrapped in burlap and twine adds a sense of mystery to the tale. And who is that outside her window?...


*Quill*Commentary

Her memories placed her in a warm pub singing battle songs with her strong brothers, The reality is colder, harsher and more hostile.

Your title and description completely change the meaning of the story from something with an ominous conclusion to a mark of respect by an honorable victor toward an enemy warrior who earned his respect in battle. The return of the ring to the daughter bereaved by her father's loss is the way this respect is conveyed.

I got a little confused about timelines here. Horses and Scottish Chieftains place this story centuries ago in some kind of clan war in the Scottish Highlands. Cigars did not really come to Britain until the early 19th century with the Peninsular War in Spain against the French. Burlap would date the story to the late 1700s but by that time the clan wars were a distant memory and Scotland had been united with England since 1603 and in actual political union since 1707.

You built the suspense and mood very well but I found the historical errors distracting

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major was found.


Thanks for sharing.

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142
142
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Norman . This is a July Raid Review, on the theme of Winter Holidays, from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "The Christmas Letter"  via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A humorous poem that describes the dread of receiving that boastful Christmas letter full of exaggerated accomplishments and well-being. The poet seems a little cynical about the contents but can nonetheless find contentment in his own less action-packed and perfect circumstances.


*Quill*Commentary

I guess people do this sort of thing on Facebook and Instagram all the time. Extravagant travel plans and successful careers not to mention parental outcomes all combine to give a sense of pride bound to turn other people's backs up. This would particularly be the case if the author's own life was not so blessed right now.

But the author works his emotions through in the poem and ends with a mature reflection on the situation. The dog with the wagging tail seems to convey what really matters and illustrates that the author found contentment in their own circumstances.

The poem was humorous and shared relatable experiences and was easy to read, thanks. Maybe simply ignoring people like this and being content with ones own circumstances is the wise thing to do, maybe also praying for the people, trying to work out why they have such a deep need to boast and what routines they are replaying each year in this letter.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major was found.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of Candles of Eight  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Angelica- House Florent B & W . This is a July Raid Review, on the theme of Winter Holidays, from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Candles of Eight"  via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Serene and contemplative poem with a candle focus. As each candle is lit a prayer is said. There are elephant tusks on the table and maybe on the walls and ceiling also. There is a holiday theme here.


*Quill*Commentary

Candles of eight sounds a little like pieces of eight and so a pirate theme and came from the contest prompt. What is being celebrated is not clear, there are not eight days to the Christmas festival for example. The prayers and candles could indicate a ritual of some sort, a special remembrance of something conducted with some reverence.

The elephant tusks as table decorations is intriguing but also distracting. Phrases like "so long the prayer is" and "Over the walls and through the ceiling" convey an expansive sense to the poem.

Overall I found the meaning a little opaque and ambiguous. This might mean a lot to someone who knew what all the symbols meant but it means little to me.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

The poem you provided is not written in an acrostic format as stated and required by the competition. In an acrostic poem, the first letter of each line (or sometimes the last letter) spells out a word or phrase when read vertically. Your poem does not follow this pattern.


Thanks for sharing.

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144
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Review of Christmas in July  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Beholden . This is a July Raid Review, on the theme of Winter Holidays, from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Christmas in July"  via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

How would Christmas feel in the middle of July? It would seem a little strange, without cold or snow. The chocolate would melt before we ate it and the meals would be lighter. But maybe with present giving and other things, it could be an occasion of joy.

*Quill*Commentary

I went to a great big party last night celebrating my son's school achievements. Here in Germany, they have prom with their parents and still manage to have a great time. So a party in July is not as alien as the Christmas theme of this poem.

I guess given that the Jews had a 360-day year and we use the Gregorian calendar with 365 days, leap years and occasional corrections the real date of Christ's birth has come already a few times in July. Can we pretend it is this year just this once?

Your poem was a Northern Hemisphere creation I guess Aussies will often celebrate Christmas in the height of Summer.

The poem was not really about Christmas but rather the trappings of Christmas and the joy that the party brings.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You kept the rhymed couplet schema, included the prompt words


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of Vision of Love  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Bill Kamen . This is a review of {item:} by invitation from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

She looks just like a girl on the beach, the kind a young man falls in love with, at least in the Summer time. They go sailing and there is a spiritual experience in a stormy ocean that mirrors a story of redemption and of being washed clean. An experience of unconditional love will do that, leaving an angel of love who lives forever in your soul.

*Quill*Commentary

Thanks for asking to review this poem or is it a song? The initial verse reminded me of the famous Drifters song "Under the Boardwalk" since you set it by the sea and that song also describes falling in love. But I quickly realized that actually, this had echoes of a more spiritual journey also, a sort of Pilgrims progress struggling through a stormy heart and ocean.

I liked the description of the meeting, the initial attraction was visual, then there was the nervous awkward guy trying to say hello and finding it easier than he thought it would be because she was like that. Then you are sailing on a stormy ocean that mirrors your own stormy heart and a life of sin. Yet somehow, mystically she keeps loving, keeps guiding with her inner glow towards the rainbow and a promise of new hope. She's gone now, but you are cleaner for having known her and the memory of her love lives on.

God can send us angels and they are messengers of his love. In Zechariah there are even female angels, so why not redemption in the guise of a romantic encounter?

You talked about the storm brewing up in the shallows but then suddenly your sins are being jettisoned into the depths of the sea. I guess that tide dragged you out quite a way. Then she lets loose the sails of her heart when any sailor in a storm would have been bringing them in.

I took this poem spiritually as a story of redemption and interpreted her disappearance as her being an angel whisked away on another mission of God's love but I guess a purely material reading might ask why you did not return with her onboard and where the body was *Wink*


*Quill*Mechanical issues

The wind in her hair, pink ribbons in her hands - this is a nice image, though it raised a question of why she carried rather than wore the ribbons which is not addressed. Also, the line had a lot of syllables compared to all the others so did it spoil the rhythm of the song?

Unconditional, Unconditionally
You loved me unconditionally - random capitalization of second Unconditionally after the comma

I am not sure what this would sound like but and depends on many things. You might want to work on harmonizing the number of syllables in each line which should improve how it sounds:

This line is a bit of a mouthful - Take away this curse of shameful infidelities


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of GNOMEVILLE  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Penelope Moonbeam . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "GNOMEVILLE"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A new fairy named Tangle Saturnglitter has come to live in the dark forest at the edge of Gnomeville and ever since then, the leaves are turning brown...


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

A charming little story in which the clever solution to the problem of the Trolls stealing Tangle Saturnglitter's property is to appoint them as guards of her property.

In most stories about trolls, the troll ends up dead. That was my expectation though I did wonder how a bunch of vertically challenged gnomes was going to pull that off. In the end, they use their brains rather than the lacking brawn and come to a good solution that works for everybody.

The fairy took a vow not to hurt others but surely removing the colors from the lands around Gnomeville was hurtful to the gnomes?

Amusing read that fits a children's audience.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

<<<As Freddy hopped through the field, he came upon a small house with a mouse standing by the door. As Freddy hopped down the road, he recalled what the mouse had told him.>>>

Did you miss the moment he actually spoke to the mouse?

We jump POV from Freddy the Frog suddenly to the men in the forest and Freddy the Frog disappears after the first section.


Thanks for sharing.

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147
147
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, santhanam nagarajan I found "Hindu Vedas, Vedangas -Part I"  when searching for articles on Hinduism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is an overview of the Hindu Vedas. They are Divinely inspired, there are four of them with multiple branches that include the innumerable potent vibrations of the mantras. Hindu texts are the basis of a lot of modern science including aircraft manufacture and life span extension.


*Quill*Commentary

You have a knowledge of all the key texts and put them in an understandable format in this essay. Given that your text was mainly descriptive there is less room for other Hindus to disagree with the structure you outlined here though I am sure some would.

You do however make a number of testable claims

1) The Vedas are not from eternity nor can they be dated to the creation of the universe. Dates can be assigned to them. Most Hindus I have met believe in eternal creation and destruction, a giant wheel of reoccurrence.
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#4700108 by Not Available.


2) The Wright brothers did not consult the Vedas in building the first airplanes. There is nothing in Hindu scripture that truly contributed to the emergence of aircraft. The design of the F-35 Lightning has nothing to do with Hinduism.

3) The extension of life spans in recent years is mainly due to innovations in Judeao- Christian Europe and North America in the area of medical science, the construction of sewers and a clean water supply, and the emergence of antibiotics and vaccines. Not to mention improving nutritional standards. Hinduism has made no contribution to this and India has mainly been behind the curve on these kinds of improvements.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Use of a tool like Grammarly or quillbot.com reveals a variety of grammatical errors here.


Thanks for sharing.

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148
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Sanjay Seth I found "The Great Indian Farce"  when searching for articles on Hinduism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Hinduism is old but is it billions of years old like many Hindus claim. Sanjay Seth examines the dates of the Hindu religion and scriptures.

*Quill*Commentary

Bollywood has clearly been coopted by recent events to cultivate Hindu nationalism by Modi and the Hindutva movement. I recently watched Panipat for example which has little resemblance to historical reality.

Facts and historical argumentation are not strong suits in the Hindu religion. Many of them actually believe that the monkey gods created a causeway to Sri Lanka. They want color and action and drama in their stories about the gods and it does not have to be true.

The contrast with Judeao-Christianity especially could not be more profound. That Jesus was a historical person who dwelt among us in a definite historical context is something that can be argued while the existence of just about any Hindu avatar cannot.

Hindus will argue like many fantasy writers here on writing.com that the story is more important than any connection it may have to the immediate reality. That indeed the spirit or the story is more important than the flesh and real history. I would suggest that without the connection between the two being there the credibility of the story is undermined and its power is reduced. But since almost a billion Hindus seem to fall for this sort of thing maybe I underestimate the power of the dark side.

I liked your summary of the datings of the various scriptures and thanks for putting the work in here but despite the excellent content, the way the text was written up could be improved.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

You might want to check out Grammarly or Quillbot.com as there are a lot of errors here. the opening sentence for example includes word repetition and missing commas. You have issues with poor word choices, spelling, missing commas, capitalization

India constitutes 17 % of the world’s population [,] with an estimated 1300 million population. [people]


Thanks for sharing.

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149
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, venu I found "Difference between Hinduism and Islam"  when searching for articles on Hinduism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Hindus look inward to find God and Muslims and Christians look outward to a God that is separate from them. So Hindus have an individual religion that is between you and God while Christians and Muslims have a command and obey, Master-Slave type relationship with God. Thus Hindus build individual relationships with God and the Abrahamic religions build memberships.

*Quill*Commentary

The dot that many Hindus paint between their eyes is meant to be symbolic of a third eye that gazes inward to the Divine. Though many Hindus today regard it as a fashion accessory to be matched to whatever colors they have chosen to wear today.

I thought your article might have worked to a limited extent with Islam but definitely does not work with Christianity properly understood because the incarnation - Jesus is fully God and fully man in one person, the presence of the Spirit in believers' lives, and God's personal concern is very evident in Christianity. Also, the trinitarian approach does allow for both unity and diversity in the ways that people come to know God through Christ.

Recent events in Manipur with the brownshirts beating up Christians for approaching God in ways not prescribed by the Hindu faith seem to militate against the notion that everybody's individual path to God is respected. Also attempts to change the constitution of India to make it a Hindu country are clear examples of the ways to define the Indian population as members of a Hindu club.

https://www.opendoors.org.hk/en-US/news/latest/man...


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major was found.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of Morning Love  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, PB Curtis . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Morning Love "  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A tranquil scene, with a couple without apparent kids, starts in bed and ends in the kitchen. He wakes in love with the woman next to him and wants to cook her breakfast. The smell of sizzling bacon wakes her and she gives him a hug. Then she looks outside the window of this idyllic scene through the blinds into the "out there" to discover the major calamity of our times...


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

So DINKY romance combined with a one-line lyric from By the Time - The Boy Who Knew Too Much Album by British singer and songwriter Mika (Michael Holbrook Penniman Jr. There was a gentleness about the style here so I guess the horror through the window could not have been more extreme.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You capitalize Wife and Morning unnecessarily.

I wonder what she may be dreaming [of].


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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