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Review Requests: OFF
356 Public Reviews Given
375 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I majorly review poems or short stories. Poems can be of any type. Short stories should be less than 600 words or approx. Novel and books are not in my reviewing list. I am not an expert reviewer but I'll try to tell your weak and strong points. In a polite but honest tone, I will tell your errors, if present. I will comment on the title, flow, main writing and will also provide you with an overall review. My ratings will not be biased. You can tell me at which points you want the deeper analysis. If you want me to review, you can give it a try. You can check some of my request reviews - Review of "Attack of the blobwoman " Review of "Not Past Redemption" Review of "Wanting to give up" Review of "Wrong timing in Manchester" and there are many more...
Favorite Genres
Comedy, tragedy, emotional, devotional, nature, romance and dark.
Favorite Item Types
Usually I review anything except for novels/novella, blogs and lengthy stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Images, poll, word search, crossword etc.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 5 6 -7- 8 ... Next
151
151
Review of I leave  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello riding hood.

Your poem is nice. You have selected your words wisely. Your writing is a bit depressing and moron. Although the poem clarify that you have a nice mentality. The poet it is not only showing us but telling us through the magical words. keep writing. I want to see the more. I am not an expert reviewer but surely I can say that it does not have any flaw in it and it is one of your remarkable piece.

I am reading you first time and I have seen your tarot card-wheel of fortune it is amazing but the poems written in it are a bit silly. I can't get them either or they can't be understand by me. Although keep writing I see you love to write short poems.
This poem is an entry to a "little bit of poetry contest". It is of 12 lines.

My favourite line is "I leave my hatchlings there knowing that tiny birds small souls are meant to fly consider". My review is a random read and review as I am newbie, understanding the ways of how to judge a poem but yours is appreciable and likeable. I am giving you the rating of 4 on the basis of your work. There is no bias in it. I review and rate honestly.

Keep writing.

Regards,
Lurie Park


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152
152
Review of owl love story  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jess,

I am reviewing your story as a random read and review exercise.
It is my pleasure to review your piece today "Owl love story" and to give
you helpful information if needed.

Disclaimer:
I will give you my thoughts, pointers, corrections if needed, and some advice. These are
only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful, and please disregard the rest,
for I'm not an expert reviewer.

📚 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📚 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📚

Title:
Your title "owl love story" depicts what the story rights engulfs. But at no point you have indicated that the characters are owl. So it can be for normal human lovers too.

Flow:
I found the good. It is just having dialogue conversations. It's easy to catch the lines.

Emotions:
I like how this story takes us to a palace where love bonds are being made.

Mistakes:
First of all, take a look at all your punctuations which you are missing.

While writing a direct sentence, we write like this.

Eg: "How are you doing Margaret? You don't look fine", said Rain.

My favorite line is:
"I've never left the palace without John except for today"
This shows brother and sister bonding so well.

Overall Review:
You have down a good job in writing this down. As you are a newbie here, I welcome you officially.

Keep Writing!
Regards,
Lurie Park

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153
153
Review of FEBRUARY  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello busman poet,

I am reviewing your poem as a random read and review exercise.
It is my pleasure to review your piece today "February" and to give
you helpful information if needed.

Disclaimer:
I will give you my thoughts, pointers, corrections if needed, and some advice. These are
only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful, and please disregard the rest,
for I'm not an expert reviewer.

📚 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📚 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📚

Title:
Your note at end is quite informative. I didn't know about acrostic poem before. Thanks.

Rhythm & Flow:
I found that there is no rhyme scheme means it is a free verse. Yet so moving. Well done.

Imagery & Emotions:
I love how this poems tells us about importance of February and things associated with it.

Mistakes:
There are no mistakes in the poem. But at the end, it should be "From the Poet:" ,not the author.

My favorite line is:
"Antsy we get for winter to end very quietly."

Keep Writing!
Regards,
Lurie Park

Yayy!! I am ready to use my first signature.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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154
154
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Schnujo is in the Falklands

Nothing much to review in this as the poem itself is very short. I think it is the shortest poem here on WDC. Correct me if I am wrong.

I wonder that you were once a newbie. Now, actually you have progressed so we'll through your efforts and hardwork and now is a moderator, I am more curious to see your writings as a newbie.

For the review, I can just say that I didn't understand it's meaning. *Laugh* Maybe it's my shortcoming. What I can decipher by reading it again is twigs are making a nest for birds and keeping this safe.

I like to review poems more as I don't have much time to read stories or write. Although, poems too take handsome amount of time in writing.

Keep writing,
Regards,
Lurie Park

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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155
155
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Schnujo is in the Falklands,

I am reviewing your poem as a random read and review exercise.
It is my pleasure to review your piece today "I know you by your tells" and to give
you helpful information if needed.

Disclaimer:
I will give you my thoughts, pointers, corrections if needed, and some advice. These are
only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful, and please disregard the rest,
for I'm not an expert reviewer.

📚 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📚 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📚

Title:
Your title "I know you by your tells" is quite fascinating.

Rhythm & Flow:
I found the rhythm and flow very easy to follow and engaging.

Imagery & Emotions:
I love how this poem talks about a woman who knows her man so deeply. Maybe the woman loves her truly but the man can't reciprocate it.

Few errors:
There are no mistakes in the poem. But the meaning of this line is not clear.
"You’ll stare at the coffee
Like the morning’s all its fault" *Sad*


My favorite line is:
"I know you by your sigh
That soon we’ll say goodbye"

I do not know but why I like tragic endings. I am a optimistic person but whenever I see such sad endings I get emotional. This line makes the poem worth reading.

Overall Review Overall review is good. It is short and nice. Quite expressive poem. I think the lady is trying hard to adjust herself with her man but that adjustment is not working. You write awesome.

Keep Writing!
Regards,
Lurie Park

Yayy!! I am ready to use my first signature.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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156
156
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Shubh,

I am reviewing your poem as a random read and review exercise.
It is my pleasure to review your piece today "Immature Imagination" and to give you helpful information if needed.

Disclaimer:
I will give you my thoughts, pointers, corrections if needed, and some advice. These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful, and please disregard the rest, for I'm not an expert reviewer.

📚 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📚 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📚

Title:
Your title "Immature Imagination" really caught my attention.

Rhythm & Flow:
I found the rhythm and flow very easy to follow and engaging.

Imagery & Emotions:
I love how this poem takes us to the abyssm of time. It paints the childhood memories so well. I see your poem is based on a true event. I do not deny with this. In fact,it is almost the same story everywhere.

Happy Mistakes*Smile*:
I am highlighting the errors with red so that you can find them easily.

My mind knew no dessert but same old orange bar.

Why should I sleep, what will I get?

My mom said, " Child you should sleep;
Otherwise your mind will be heavy, you will weep."

"My son", she says, for she still care;

Conclusion:
The style was perfect. Congratulations for becoming a WDC registered author 🎊. You can collect your merit badges from the left page on the screen. They will be added to your Community Recognitions.

Overall Review:
I am rating this poem as 4.5 only because I can't give it 4.75 Well done!

Keep Writing.
Regards,
Lurie Park

Yayy!! I am ready to use my first signature.




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157
157
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Alextrax,

I am reviewing your story. Thanks again for choosing me to review it.
It is my pleasure to review your piece today "Attack of the blobwoman" and to give you helpful information if needed.

Disclaimer
:


I will give you my thoughts, pointers, corrections if needed, and some advice. These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful, and please disregard the rest, for I'm not an expert reviewer.

📚 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📚 ☕ 📖 ☕ 📓 ☕ 📚


Title:



Your title ""Attack of the blobwoman" " really caught my attention.


Rhythm & Flow:



Your sentences are too long to be followed up which breaks the rhythm. I suggest you to break down them into smaller ones as they are easy going and this makes the read more understandable.


Imagery & Emotions:



I love how this story was descriptive with yoghurts,jelly and other food stuffs.

Errors:


Your story was a bit lengthy or I should say you can more it in form of a story with episodes. Actually, the format in which you wrote was a bit messy. I suggest you to write your story in chunks and you should use colours or bold font to highlight some major aspects.
Also, when I wrote my first story here, I was told by many in their reviews and I would like to share the same with you that the dialogues should be written in next line. And after a dialogue you have too leave a line too. It makes the conversation easier to catch. The character description was not that good but I think you'll be doing better in your further write ups.😌

I want to highlight some errors which I came across. Although I may be not able to figure out all and you can consider these only if you like. It's just a suggestion. ☺️

Having consumed the blob, Carole had eaten and merged with it so well that she had now become the blob and therefore she was the master now.



Carole lumbered her way past the other workers offices and just followed Melanie in silence like some naughty school girl getting a lecturing for not doing homework.

Seconds later, the top button on her blouse popped off. Carole was mightily relieved at this because it was starting to get stuck under her swelling chin, which had now long doubled and was starting to triple so it’s popping had given her neck some much needed breathing space.

And then she proclaimed:. “It’s time for me to show this world that there’s a new girl in town...."

Conclusion:


I think you should read your story once again and check for punctuations and should breakdown the sentences.

Overall view:


You have done a marvellous job. I liked the idea of eating more and bigger a mammoth person. Keep writing.

Lurie Park

Yayy!! I am ready to use my first signature.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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158
158
Review of Playing D&D  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello. I am reviewing this as a random read and review exercise.

Intro:
As for a contest entry, I think it is well written with adequate amount of thrills in it. I hope you win.

Characters:
I am fascinated by the character of Shelly as one my friend has the same name and almost the same character sketch. I see you are explaining the game too with your story. It's exciting.

Tim is also a relatable character. As english is not my first language, I learned many new words from your story.

Overall review:
A nice story to be read.

Keep writing.
Lurie

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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159
159
Review of Writing.Com 101  
Review by Vaishali
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have ordered a physical version of the merit badge a month ago and haven't received yet. I live in Uttar Pradesh in India. I am unable to track my merit badge or get any info regarding it. What should I do now? *Cry* }
160
160
Review by Vaishali
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for this piece of information 😊
161
161
Review of Double Wide  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Huntermoon! I am doing review for superpowers march raid review. Your genre of comedy qualifies the above and so I landed here.

Style
It is not a perfect rhyming poem nor a free verse. To say it more clearly your first stanza has rhyme scheme of abcb then second stanza abab followed by third, fourth and fifth stanza abcb. So overall I say it's abcb. Notwithstanding the rhyme scheme, your poem is well formed.

Overall review
Your poem is following a secondary genre of romance/love. The comic part at the end makes this really a comedy. I am rating this 4.5 for the ending and your detailed description in the mall.
"tramp stamp sliding down to hide"
tramp stamp slided down to hide

Keep writing
Lurie

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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162
162
Review of The Flame  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kimala. I am doing this review for march review raid.

Your poem is one of the finest poem describing bipolar disorder. It explains the emotions of the suffering person.
It is short, with second and fourth line rhyme scheme.(ABCB)
The contrast used all together glorifies it.


Keep writing.
Lurie

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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163
163
Review of Jealous?  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Serena Blade. I am reviewing this as an entry to the SuperPower Reviewers Group Raid Review.

Your poem is a free verse. It has deep thoughts. In this poem, the narrator's gender is not specified. It's for the readers to guess.

"I just wish you realized this."
It should be "realize" .

"Instead of pretending feelings don't exist." The structure of this sentence seems a bit wrong. I think it need a comma after "pretending".

Could you please explain what's this "green little monster" or is it jealousy personified ?

Keep writing.
Lurie

{item: power}


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164
164
Review of Style Master  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi. I am doing this review for march review raid.

You story and simple and sweet but it's just a "telling" without feelings. You should have added decent adjectives. You could more vividly write about Klye. His age, his body structure, his background and al.

You should change paragraphs after certain details. Punctuations are also not correctly placed. You can add the meaning of terms at the last but in the story it isn't necessary.

Keep writing
Lurie

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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165
165
Review of Dance Me A Song  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello turtlemoon. I am doing this review for March raid.

Your poem is about a sweet loving couple.
The structure is fine but I think you should work more upon Punctuations.

Your poem follows a rhyme scheme of aabb but I see that the second line is a bit long which ends in disturbing the rhyme scheme.

Keep writing
Lurie.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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166
166
Review of Dance Me A Song  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello turtlemoon. I am doing this review for March raid.

Your poem is about a sweet loving couple.
The structure is fine but I think you should work more upon Punctuations.

Your poem follows a rhyme scheme of aabb but I see that the second line is a bit long which ends in disturbing the rhyme scheme.

Keep writing
Lurie.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
167
167
Review of Dance Me A Song  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello turtlemoon. I am doing this review for March raid.

Your poem is about a sweet loving couple.
The structure is fine but I think you should work more upon Punctuations.

Your poem follows a rhyme scheme of aabb but I see that the second line is a bit long which ends in disturbing the rhyme scheme.

Keep writing
Lurie.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
168
168
Review of Style Master  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi. I am doing this review for march review raid.

You story and simple and sweet but it's just a "telling" without feelings. You should have added decent adjectives. You could more vividly write about Klye. His age, his body structure, his background and al.

You should change paragraphs after certain details. Punctuations are also not correctly placed. You can add the meaning of terms at the last but in the story it isn't necessary.

Keep writing
Lurie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
169
169
Review of Jealous?  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Serena Blade. I am reviewing this as an entry to the SuperPower Reviewers Group Raid Review.

Your poem is a free verse. It has deep thoughts. In this poem, the narrator's gender is not specified. It's for the readers to guess.

"I just wish you realized this."
It should be "realize" .

"Instead of pretending feelings don't exist." The structure of this sentence seems a bit wrong. I think it need a comma after "pretending".

Could you please explain what's this "green little monster" or is it jealousy personified ?

Keep writing.
Lurie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
170
170
Review of Kaleidoscope  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi igotthebluez

I came here by a random read and review exercise.
I read your poem kaleidoscope. I can't understand the connection between the poem and the title. It's quite confusing. The poem's meaning is also not very clear till the end expect revealing some random thoughtful emotions.

"And don't have to be skeptical"
Skeptical = sceptical

Adding punctuations to your poem will help it.

Keep writing.
Lurie


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171
171
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*SnailB* Hi RedtoWrite.

Your poem is appreciable and flow is nice. The rhyme scheme followed is aabb. No corrections needed as per me.

Keep writing
Lurie


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172
172
Review of Lost  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi StellarStories

I think I am reviewing you once again.

"I lost a mountain and three hills, one rainy Saturday.
They vanished in a rolling mist that turned the skyline gray."



"I lost a mountain and three hills,
On one rainy Saturday.
They vanished in a rolling mist,
That turned out the skyline gray."

In the second form, it is easier to follow the rhyme scheme.

"The other half of sky remained a perfect arch of blue:
Reminder that I had the world, but still was lost to you."


"The other half of the broad sky,
Remained a perfect arch of blue.
Reminding that I have the world,
But still it is lost to you."

I also made some grammatical corrections. It is a suggestion, if you feel it better, then use it.

Keep writing,
Lurie


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173
173
Review of Lost  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi StellarStories

I think I am reviewing you once again.

The poem is really a short one.

"I lost a mountain and three hills, one rainy Saturday.
They vanished in a rolling mist that turned the skyline gray."


I lost a mountain and three hills,
On one rainy Saturday.
They vanished in a rolling mist,
that turned out the skyline gray.

In the second form, it is easier to follow the rhyme.

"The other half of sky remained a perfect arch of blue:
Reminder that I had the world, but still was lost to you."

The other half of the sky,
remained a perfect arch of blue:
Reminding that I had the world, but still it was lost to you.

I also changed your rhyme scheme.My suggestion if for you, if you feel it better, then use it.

Keep writing
Lurie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
174
174
Review of The Photographer  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi LOTR98

I have read your story and want to give a review.

The story in all is well structured with good visual and auditory imagery. The description goes pretty well and the site is well chosen. But you should change paragraphs while writing for better approach.

"A butterfly fluttered its wings to get to my daffodil, providing an array of colour."

A butterfly fluttered its wings among the daffodils and then rested upon the daffodil which I was aiming, providing it an array of colours.

If you understand the difference, you can make a change. Overall rating is 3.5

Keep Writing
Lurie


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175
175
Review of Their First Walk  
Review by Vaishali
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi StellarStories.

It is a fable in verse. I like the poem and its simplicity. It has 6 stanzas with 4 lines eacg. It has rhyme scheme abcb which is followed smoothly throughout.

"Could meet again on Main."
The M of Main should be small.

"Till an icy wind blew up and pushed
Them into a bank of snow;
Then together they laughed at how the cold
Had made their faces glow."


Use commas at appropriate places.

Keep writing.
Lurie


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