Considering the time line allowed for this contest, I feel you did a good job.
You had your ideas in order through out the story which can become a bit difficult when you are on a time limit.
In the second paragraph you lost me a bit. You are describing the Linda and then go into they. After reading past that you figure out that you the writer is talking about Marilyn and Jeff.
Overall you did a good job and I hope you keep it up. Keep writing.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luv2mumble/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 2:44am on Apr 25, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
