I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. No one ever touches upon the pain and misery animals face due to human greed. Hats off to you for doing such a great job on writing so well upon such a topic. The personification of the dragon was very well done. An untold love story of Loch Ness. Your grammar and punctuation was impeccable. The significance of the line "When I'm emotional, the fire is me" is an interesting double metaphor because firstly, the dragon breathes fire when emotional, and also, man, when emotional, is angry, hence the fire. Great job!
This little poem reminds us of the never ending and depressing cycle of life, but at the same time, 'the glimmer of first light' gives us hope and reminds us that every day brings something new and takes away the pain. An intriguing metaphor conveyed in the short brevity of 24 syllabus! Bravo!
That's very sweet! Will definitely inspire someone during tough times! Why don't you build on it? It can be very inspirational, given your writing skills...
Hello!
I am really glad I got a chance to read this wonderful prose. It's written very well and is very impactful and touching. I feel that every person who is afraid of the pandemic (or not) should get a chance to read this. It will help some through though times and remind them that 'this too, shall pass.'
God is truly great. Everything truly happens for a reason. I loved the analogy of Farther, how he must love us and carry out such pandemics to discipline us. The way Eve's callousness has been compared to humanity's evil face is absolutely remarkable. The grammar and punctuation is almost impeccable.
The message conveyed in such brevity reflects in it the amazing comprehension skills of the writer. Your art touches the readers heart and inspires him to see the world in your perspective. This skill, very few possess.
There is an underlying anger the reader can detect which is a little intimidating.
I find it sad they you found the need to line homosexuality with other crimes of humanity, but I won't judge you.
I noted a few errors:
"It was our will either by determination or by circumstance to either stay on those paths or take a detour." should be
"It was our will, either by determination or by circumstance to stay on those paths or take a detour."
"...path we tend to blame God."
"...path, we tend to blame God."
"...politicians that can't even align with their own party."
"...and politicians that can't even align with their own party."
"Despite even that, God is a forgiving God and even these hard times will be relieved if we choose to follow him"
"Despite even that, God is forgiving and even these hard times will be relieved if we choose to follow him"
All in all, it was a wonderfully written work and I thank you from all my heart for opening my eyes.
Holy s*it. You're words can literally move hearts. Thus little piece is so well written that I'm not sure a bunch of words I write will suffice it's magnificence, hence rendering this review completely pointless... Great job, sister! Keep going!
Beautifully written! It's a perfect blend of human emotion on a regular basis and the philosophy behind it. I really enjoyed this relatable poem. The last para summarizes the poem perfectly and winds it up.
I'm guessing you are a high school student... Am I right?
Wow! This was extremely well written and very impressive. Broke some of the myths I had about Nordic gods. The portrayal of your characters is very appealing to the readers. The story itself hooks the reader and leaves him wanting for more. A perfect blend of punctuation and vocabulary is observed, which makes your piece of art further appetizing. Great job!
What a beautifully written story! Full of surprises, just like Adam. A thrilling read, truly. The reader finds himself rooting for the characters, especially Adam. And I'm surely going to use Jim's intriguing ways of writing! Very enjoyable!
Wow! This is super intriguing and captivating! Very cool! I read the title, and 5 seconds later, I found myself reading this. I suggest you make a sequel to this. What an idea! Submit it in this contest:
Adorable! I loved tongue twister! I got so confused even while reading this... There is a correction thigh... In the second paragraph, all the 'Sally's are small small... It should be like this:
Silly Sally sang a super silly song
What super silly song did silly Sally sing
Sing the super silly song that silly Sally sang...
Wow, this was an impactful account... To be honest, I think you're being very gullible, and as you said, letting lose of your self respect in the process, but don't go by what I, or anyone says, because they wouldn't know how you feel. Don't worry, you seem like an incredibly nice and sensitive person. I'm certain you'll find someone great for yourself, just hang in there!
A few corrections...
"I can stay happy by myself but I feel more happiness in the presence of the person who can understand me." Not "I can stay happy by myself but I can fell more happiness by the presence of the person who can understand me."
"Bhavya and I" not "I and Bhavya"
This is truly the work of genius mind. All the references such as the circle, divide, ratio, circle, divide, 3.14, and how pi couldn't stop... Being a student, this was a really fun read for me. I bet this won that round of the writer's cramp.
I have never come across a story better expressed in the brevity of a poem... This is wonderful and very impactful. Starts of by telling how one falls in love and gradually drifts off to how she would never be his, leaving the author wounded and bleeding forever.
This poem has multiple layers and only the author realizes what it fully means... But it has been written very cleverly. The author offers something to the reader, but the readers is bound to go back with not only what has been offered, but what he perceived from this piece of art. There is simply so much hidden in between the lines... Fascinating. It is incredibly deep, how the pros and cons of a duo have been expressed. Very impactful and gives the reader quite a bit to think about. I don't know why exactly, I'm really getting Pablo Neruda vibes off this poem....
Hey willow! Thanks for the little tribute! I'm truly honored! And now you're in gravity falls! Awesome! I like how to carefully give accents to your characters. What's more? Lemme know when you enter the Naruto world! I LOVE Naruto.... Out of curiosity, who is your favorite cahracter? Mine's Itachi Uchiha... Pity, he died...
Okay, I guess I went a little overboard, but finding people who watch anime is kinda rare... So yeah, I'm excited! Waiting to hear from you.
The vivid descriptions of what two lovers feel when completely consumed by the fire of passion has been beautifully described in this poem.
There is something else... I felt a kind of silence while ready no this, as though silence is the undertone of the poem... Quiet a feeling. I might be wrong though..
The true power of love, along with its flaws and weaknesses has been beautifully harnessed in the brevity of this poem. It's lovely....
I specifically loved this paragraph:
Everything gained from it
Is worthwhile and extraordinary,
While every insult and injury
From it can be easily forgotten
Or excused.
The was a fun read. I can't wait to see what happens next. You leave the reader on a cliffhanger, keeping him on the edge throughout the thriller ride and wanting for more. Very intriguing style, indeed. And in spite of how short it is, the reader can't help but root for the protagonist...
This is so beautiful.., the way you have entwined the elements of earth and nature with love and it's symbolism.... It's exquisite.
So much has been conveyed in the brevity of this poem... The reader cannot stop reading and is willing to know what else the poet has to say about his love.
Wow, this is touching... I haven't read anything that is so to the point and does beat around the bush. Plain facts laid bare for the reader to view.
I personally really love the line : We choose us.
I guess I have never really looked at love as though it's an invincible two people team, but it is quite a sensible way to look at this.
Wow, truly enjoyable... I'm guessing it's incomplete, though. Keep the reader at the edge of his seat and waiting for more. Odd cliffhanger you left me at there😅😅.
I'll wait until you complete this story... Truly looking toward to it!
I enjoyed what you conveyed in brevity so immense. What I think the poet wants to say is that everything grows old and aging is an inevitable process. Even for material things, regardless of how much they cost you, everything ages and grows old . bravo! Keep going!
Truly touched my heart. Written so well, I loved all the similies the metaphors used flawlessly. Makes the readers literally reach out to the speaker.
Keep going!
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