It take quiet a bit of courage to lay out your feelings bare like that. It's really beautiful and relatable. Truly enjoyed it. Made me smile with a tinge of sadness. Please take care of yourself.
It's sad and really beautiful. Parents can really go far for their children. But personally, I don't think any child would rather their parents kills themselves so that they could live a better life. But if that is the only way out... What has to be done has to be done. If you find the motivation sometime, you can perhaps elaborate and convert this into a short story that appeals to the readers emotions, for I'm certain you have that potential. Keep going!
The emotions of the speaker are very well conveyed here. They reach out the screen and coincide with the reader's mind. We all have been in situations where we are too afraid of the people, their judgements and tend to become really concious about ourselves. And it's been written so perfectly well. Great going!
Very well written. It leaves a strong impression on the reader. It's also thought provoking and the writer comes off as fearless and courageous. You have beautifully begun it and wound it up saying that dating to believe before seeing is essential for faith. Job well done! Keep going!
I suggest you apply for the newbies ONLY contest with this.
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That was very touching a read. Don't see what purpose the massive space you have left after your name serves though. I'm sorry, I might be unaware of some decorum you script writers have to follow. It's simple, yet there is something about it that will haunt the reader even he is done reading it. I don't really have words to describe this piece... But great job. Excellentae!
Very well written and an incredibly interesting and thought provoking plot. I can spot some ulterior motives scattered all across this story subtly reminding the reader how pathetic the human race is. What I enjoyed the most was the build up and the suspense element that keeps the reader hooked and in the end the moon flying away... Super cool! It starts of pretty normally and then the girl... Everything has been described really well and there is no scope for ambiguity or doubt except for the ones that were meant to be like who is that mysterious little girl. Well done! Keep going!
Beautifully written and very relatable. Honestly, many of our fathers use these seemingly callous ways of getting us on track, but it is later we realize how much it benefitted us. It's all the same with my father. In spite of every time I mess up, he never gives up on me. Thanks for sharing this instance. I feel this new found respect for my dad now.
Your poem achieves depth in such brevity ... That's what makes it remarkable. Simple yet impactful and thought provoking. The tone of conversation is what I enjoyed the most. Keep going!
This was so beautiful. A perspective I never even imagined... Maybe that's because I'm 16 and have never thought about old age, but still, the feelings of an old man have been conveyed so perfectly well. It evokes emotions one never even realized he possessed. It's so well written , simple, yet incredibly deep and touching. You're probably my favorite author around here.
Such a beautiful poem. I can hear the silence resonating from every word. The tone of the poem is perfect. The brevity in which you have conveyed so much is incredible.
Loved the paradox! Loved the ending! Nice idea. It's pretty captivating, and had just the right amount of devices used in the appropriate places. No flowery language..... Just the perfect amount of spice. Great read! Keep going!
Does anything on WdC beat this incredible ballad? It was so incredibly put! It's hilarious and it all blends in so well. No other theory about Trump's success could possibly make more sense that this. And I loved the magical mop of hair. Brilliant!
Very interesting. It keeps the reader hooked till the very end. But there are some typos you should look into. All your 'lied' should be 'lay'. ....but they too....
There are a few more. Just look into that. Also, I think you should device your content into paragraphs. That would really help. Otherwise, when the reader comes to your page, they'll see the huge black box of text and won't feel like reading it. Besides, it would make it more clear.
This is really beautiful prose. The way you have laid out your feelings and insecurities is beautiful. It's very well written and keeps the reader thinking and feeling for what you went through till the very end. And I won't lie, it'll probably never be okay(assuming this has actually happened to you) But then again change is the only thing that's constant. I enjoyed the use of similes and metaphors in there. Great going! 🤗
Hey Amy-Looking forward! I really don't know what this page is all about. I just got here somehow by checking out my notifications.
Thanks for reading my story though! It means a lot to me! I'm yet to check out your review.
( since I'm not sure if Amy is going to receive this mail, whoever does, can you tell me what this page is all anout? Thanks!) and I don't know what to rate it so take a 5?
That was very intriguing.... Did this really happen with you? (This may seem like a stupid question, but as you said, it does seem fairytale like... But then again, something similar happened with me long ago, so I cannot say) It's well written. Is there a continuation?
That was truly a beautiful poem. It is very well written and one can really picture your father and wishes to meet him as a person, because he has been described so very well....
I'm truly sorry about your father. I'm sure he's still there deep within you.
That was truly very fascinating... It's extremely well written, and the way every movement and every step taken by Jeremy was described in such intricate detail..... It made me feel like I was right there with him, experiencing his fears and insecurities. I couldn't stop reading till the very end. It's leaves the reader wishing for more, and yet leaves no loose ends, and that truly requires skill. Looking forward to more of your works!
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