I enjoyed reading your sestina ~ a life's journey, returning 'home' where one finds once again the wonder of the child within, brought full circle upon finding old letters penning dreams to recall the dreams once envisioned and written by the storyteller Encouraged by voices that once spoke and lived and embraced life and left their missive for a seeker perhaps a century or more after their footprints no longer trod the earth
I believe the sestina form is correctly met as to the use of the end words, and the final stanza at the conclusion expertly sums up the 'story' related in the poem as the writer finds herself and her muse inspired by the vision of past lives, encouraged to once again dream, and write
The sestina form does not require rhyme, but I found a near-mesmerizing quality to some of the images, recalling my own fantasy role playing in the attic, where common objects became whatever I imagined them to be, as did I
Reading aloud, it was easy to follow the story, and I could sense the wonder, then wistful recollection, followed by recalled anguish, which ultimately resulted in "embracing" hopeful recognition.(Beautiful opening image
I have but a few comments where I was a bit slowed
"Grandmother" and "grandmother" ~ suggest using one or the other consistently??
Second line ~ consider in place of "found" an action word for what is done, i.e., "I rescued from under..." or to have it hold it's own in the line, perhaps something like "Tucked into the eave..." ??? so it doesn't run like a long sentence???
The voice seems to switch back and forth a bit in some of the stanzas, i.e., the first relating to the letters and Grandfather, the house and attic ~
Perhaps consider more active for the letters, i.e., "How long had the words been waiting, and..."
The fifth line, "Grandfather...", consider a stop after "1927," in lieu of a quote??
"Before I lived, I pretended many lives up here in the dim, grey light." ~ just had to note this, it's Sublime
Consider staying active in the second stanza to open the images ~ i.e.,
"Ballerina" or "Dancing in" (in place of "Remembering") a gown of green-sprigged calico, parasol twirling in soft evening light."
"Lifetimes passed peopled by grown children gone, I wandered home." ~ great transition from the story of the past, then consider keeping present and active as to what she is doing, i.e.,
"Soul quiet now, I peruse ancient words penned by those long dust." (again, Beautiful vivid image, just suggest keeping active ~ what she is doing now ~ reading, dreaming, stepping into the past lives once again, coming full circle so vividly portrayed in the balance of the stanza
"Far past the buried treasures I sought in my youth, those faded letters
Reveal[ed] a truth beyond any I once sought, waiting there, silent in the dust."{again, a wonderful image
And a near-prophetic ending
Thank you for sharing this provocative, powerful poem of seeking, reflection, and ultimately becoming whole^_^
Keep Writing!
Kate
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manga_kate
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and the layout easy to follow; very reasonable gp cost for original artwork
