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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/maras
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3 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
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Review by Mara
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Hi,

I was not able to finish reading everything but I did read the first chapter, as asked, and a little bit of the 3rd. It was a difficult read for me particularly because I am not into fan fiction or Japanese.. anything. That being said, the way you introduced the relationships between characters confused me (and I do have personal experience in this area) and I am thinking it might confuse other readers, especially those not familiar with alternative lifestyles AT ALL. I am not sure this is a great way to introduce polyamory and sex work. I think the lifestyle being included in your story definitely makes it more interesting, but it might need to be done in a different way. For example, establish the story about the games begin developed before introducing any poly-related stuff. Also, I have to say, $500 for one night, in the context of your story, seems rather cheap. If she really is the excellent whore her husband and boyfriend think of her as, the price should be higher IMHO. I would also introduce the brother fetish a bit later. Polyamory, sex work, AND a brother fetish might be a lot for some readers, especially those on the younger side.

I hope this makes sense.

Mara
2
2
Review of Politic  
Review by Mara
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I am not into poetry at all but I thoroughly enjoyed your piece. I absolutely loved the rhythm, probably because it reminds me of the Latin I studied through highschool. The 8-6-8-6 caught my attention from the first line and I just had to finish reading. Great job!

Mara
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