|I enjoyed reading this poem-its message was clearly presented. The verse structure was consistent and creative.
Before I start my line-by-line analysis, I am big on parallelism. I know that there are styles of poetry out there that I am not aware of. So, I would suggest that the author weigh this analysis based on what h/she already knows about the type of poem represented.
Here I go:
Tick Tock, Tick Tock
**I like the idea that time seems to go on throughout most of the piece. The build-up is implied in the events. This reminds me of the phrase "And so it goes." in the novel "Slaughterhouse Five."**
The world begun/begun the clock
**For the sake of parallelism, I would probably use the word "began."**
First was water, water and rock
**At first, I thought "Nope, this won't work." Then, I remembered that it was a poem, not a grocery list. It's perfect.**
Then living beings, being flowers and cock
**beings, being-my literalist mind said "no," but my poetic mind said "yes!"**
Now there's man, man and his stock
**Maybe "Next came man.....might work better.**
Resources gone, gone water and rock
**The line was powerful, given the previous two lines.**
Too soon rundown, rundown the clock
**I like it and I don't. I think it conveys the idea clearly. It sounds awkward, but I can't think of an alternative solution. Just think about it and ask around.**
***Yes! I'd remove the ellipses from the end to make it more final.***
Overall, you have a great piece. I hope to see more of your writing in the future. Keep it up!