This story gave me a big smile, not that it's a funny one, but the magnificent cat and the people under her spell, were so imaginable and I enjoyed it a lot!
The story is very well written and fluent and I didn't notice any mistakes.
I got really in to it, while reading, it felt also very real. It was easy to identify with the main character.
Somehow the opening of the story was a bit abrupt, I had to reread it before I grasped it. It can be left as it is, but it could be more smooth, if the "I" would have said something like that he was making a walk through the woods or he was on his way to go fishing or whatever. Just my thought, but you're the Master of course
This has to be the best tax-advise ever! Chapeau for combining so many attributes in one small piece of text: it's humouristic, personal, advising, very well written, philosophical...in other words: truly entertaining! I also sense some poetic feel in it. The first thing I've read from you and it's an invitation yo come back and read more. This item is not very recent though, so I hope you are still writing regularly and give us readers a chance to share in your power of pen and observation!
This poem really touched me. You described this desperate loneliness, or perhaps rather emptiness, so well. The structure, with these repeated single lines "-she is spinning-" enhanced the impact it had on me.
The raw emotions, pain, despair made clearly felt.
And that makes me all the more happy that you've found a wonderful new partner now.
The last stanza is my favourite, though the other three are also impressive.
(Small note: do I see a typo in "loneliness"? Or is lonliness also possible? I'm not a native English speaker, so I'm not sure)
Oh, this is so close to my heart! On my search for food-related ailments I also came across the relation between autism and wheat/dairy products and that a diet can cure even severe autism (the coconut-oil was not mentioned). I think this is such an important issue and I love that you've put it on WDC! Though, since it's a report, with its characteristic names of people, clinics, programs and a formal writing-style, the contents is not very accessible. I'm afraid that people might be put off to try and read it. And that's so sad, for this absolutely deserves all the attention it can get.
I see no mistakes, but a much more loose style, with the formalities added in the end if necessary, would enhance this item greatly.
But this is of course just my opinion, so please I hope you won't feel offended. What matters is that you've brought it to our attention.
Hi,
This is a very meaningful poem, I think. A deep way to remind us about the misery of this world and that we must DO something about that. But that at the same time, misery can only improve, when we are able to celebrate life as well (if only, because the joy of life is what we should hope to offer, to those wo are suffering). For contents this poem would deserve 5 stars. It's simple wording makes the poem very accesible. But at the same time that makes it a bit less poetic, with a taste of prose (nothing wrong with prose, of course ) and also words are repeated quite often. Hence 4,5 stars.
These are just minor remarks, they can't take anything away, from the power of the poem, it's depth and the original solution to deal with the problems of this world, this life.
Your cNote shops are outstanding! The changing notes, I had never seen before, but they are awesome. And your butterfly - and flower notes are really beautuful. You offer cNotes for a lot of occasions and moods, I'll put them in my favourites, so that in future I won't have to search so much for a suitable note
This is a great index to your port! The pictures bring it to life and your port has become very much organized in this way. The best port-introduction I've come across so far! Would it not have already been nicely awarded, I surely would have felt all honoured to give you a ribbon for this.
This is a wonderful initiative, very helpful to find more blogs to read. The competition is a nice idea and the simple rules for blogging, given at the end, seem very effective to me. I feel tempted to join, since I'm a blog-addict. Though more as a reader than as a writer. Perhaps joining will inspire me to update my blog a bit more often... Way to go!
Impression:An interesting poem, that I needed to re-read several times before I could more or less grasp it. I must say, that it sounds most appealing when read aloud! And though it looks like a very skillful and impressive sonnet, I can't help but keep wondering, if you could not have also said it in a more "approachable" manner, by altering the word-choice and the tense a bit (though if the poem would suffer a lot, than I would prefer it in this way and give it the effort, as a reader)
Rhythm, flow, style: I think all the requirements of a Shakespearean Sonnet are met and rhythm, flow, rhyme are all very good.
Contents: The fear of losing passion and then, after reflection, accepting the value of a less intense but lasting love, appeals much to me...how wonderful it would be if we all dared to draw this conclusion (perhaps thus avoiding a few sad separations)
Remarks:
In my feeling, a poem is more "finished" when the title is also written in the item-body. Now the title almost gets lost in the header.
Wish I could compose a sonnet like this, I would really start to feel myself a writer. Need to learn a lot still (for after all, knowledge and skill lay at the base of this poem)
Some lines which I liked a lot: Love needs burn without consuming--
As the acorn withstands the blistering heat
Most painful and strongly expressed poem about lost love. The wording is very personal, beautiful, poetic: revealing your pain and sense of loss to the world, in such a way, that I felt I could share your emotions.
In spite of the deep sadness, I still do find this a most beautiful poem.
You observed changing moods so well, in the next lines:
"The grass shifts itself, rustling in the breeze
It seems quite loud today" I love these lines.
The middle stanza is slightly less poetic and gives me the feeling as if perhaps one or two small mistakes have crept in. But that could simply be my lack of knowledge of English; "be loved OF him": "BY him", sounds more familiar to me; "In all that I endeavored was taken for a cover": this line slightly confuses me, I wonder if "IN" is needed here, I'm not sure if I am completely understanding this line... But actually, I don't like to make any such remark, because for me they take nothing away from how much I like this poem!
Some other lines, which I like very much, full of depth:
Things have a way of crumbling
Dynasties come and go
What is now will not always be
The futility of it all.
Thank you for sharing! And please:Write on!
Regards, Maria
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This is my review of your item Of Roses and Daffodils.
First Impression:Lovely "small" story; no big adventure, but a realistic account about old people, told in a beautiful way.
Contents:the last moments of an old woman, remembering her husband. Where the end is nothing dramatic, but just a part of life. Yet, the beautiful symbolism, with the flowers connecting the man and wife and making their life full circle, lifts their last moments above being a banality: love is breathing through every line and every moment.
Wording and style: Simple, but beautiful and without faults.
Plus points:Many of us keep a distance to old people, we just don't want to know. You bring them back and they are very human and very "acceptable", in this story. It looks a simple story, but it has quite a lot of depth, it gives food for thought.
This is interesting stuff for seasoned horse-people! To others it will look like abracadabra, but out of sheer curiousity and surprise, I can imagine them read on for a while. Also for you've written your entries well. It's a pity you stopped quite soon. I hope Flossie and you are doing well.
I also studied Pat Parelli and decided I didn't like it. It's not a very horse-friendly method, in spite of what they try to make you believe. It's based on domination rather than communication and I liked to see that you more or less came to the same conclusion.
Lovely flowing, floating poetry, with an easy, feeling to them. When reading these rictameters, you get the feeling as if you poured them out in one go, onto the paper, they are so natural. Filled with lively images.
Your first attempts are a success! Rictameter looks interesting, you may have inspired me!
Thank you for sharing and please go on attempting to be a poet, for you seem good at it!
This description of the health care in Costa rica, I like a lot. It is based upon your personal experiences, which makes it interesting to read. but what I like most, is that you so respectfully and lovingly portray the system out there, with its simplicity, low bills, charm and yet a lot of quality.
You prove that it's not only the "Western World" which posesses a proper health care system.
My Impression:A lovely family-story, full of warmth and scenes to recognize. Nice level of reflection also, which makes the story meaningful.
Style and Contents:This story seems told by a story-teller at heart, which makes it a pleasure to read. The contents, about events being told and retold among family-members, is charming and invites the reader to remember also his own family and its stories.
Remarks:
In my idea this piece is not totally balanced yet. Here and there the transitions are a bit abrupt and also at the end I felt slightly left wanting. I feel there is room for perfection, to make it an absolutely great story (but this is just a minor point, the quality and enjoyment of the story "stands"). I'm also making this point, for having read several of your other items, where the feeling of being "unbalanced" never came up.
Since I'm not very knowledgeable and also not the greatest of writers, I find it hard to give you any suggestions, how to improve. But I trust that your obvious writing-talents will help you perfect it, when you'll make this part of your planned book.
Thanks for sharing and please: Write On!
Regards,
Maria
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This poem appeals to me very much. The deep philosophical subject, dealt in such a way, simple and clear, as if it is but a daily topic.
Though your lines are to the point, almost businesslike, yet I find this poem very beautiful and touching: about the core of human communication - our (lack of real) sense of who the other is. You deal this in finesse, the lines are fully charged.
I just wonder, what would be the effect if the wording would be a bit more poetic? Could it remain to the point and clear, like it is now? Would its power be lost? Since I can imagine what the answers would be, it is far better to leave it as it is, but this is the only slight desire I have: that it would be a fraction more poetic. That's why I rate it at 4,5.
The stanza which I like most is:
I am an answer,
created not by how I respond,
but by how you question.
Thank you for sharing!
Regards, Maria
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The painful plee of a father forced to distance himself from his child, like so many fathers are forced to do, nowadays. Very good to read about this side of the picture, for once.
I appreciate much that you paint for us his suffering and worries, though I find it a bit hard to identify really: the emotions are so strong, I feared at first that he was going to bring harm to his child (perhaps sparked by the subtitle about losing a child). This is just a small remark, because most of all I'm really impressed by this story.
Interesting contest! An acrostic poetry contest should be a challenge for many members to be able to compete. As both unexperienced as experienced poets can try their hands at acrostic poetry.
Great prices! Inviting!
The lay out of the item is beautiful and clear, but sadly ther is a typo: under rules, second line
you have written "writtine" instead of "written".
It's a pity that there are not more contestants but I hope that with some advertising and with perseverance more will come. I surely hope that you will continue to organize the contest!
Thanks for organizing this nice contest!
Regards,
Maria Proud sponsor ofemerin-liseli our newest Rising Star!
Impression: Painful poem, with a beautiful and very expressive choice of words, which seems to be a trademark of you.
Rhythm, flow, style: The poem flows nicely; it has a bit varied rhythm but that doesn't hinder at all. The line-breaks are looking very well placed
Contents: You have found words that make very clear what you are feeling. Haunting memories.... "Black and white memories perform
a ritual with my thoughts"
this I find very original and clearly said.
Remarks:
Midnight ghosts....frozen helplessness, I like these pointed and poetic descriptions of feelings very much
Only about the last line I want to say, that it just doesn't flow to well, interrupts the reading a bit.
Instead of and realize I am completely lost., perhaps the next words flow a bit better: and realize I am well and truly lost.?
Though I can imagine very well that you wouldn't wish to change anything.
Somehow your poems always touch me. I simply love to read and reread them all!
This is a beautifully written item, that makes it appealing.
I can't somehow escape the feeling, that this comparison is not a fair comparison. Arguments are being used and arguments being omitted to prove a point. While I am totally agreed with the point, that there's a lot to be said, about being small, but I find the arguments to prove that point not so strong.
What about the bonsai being tortured and humiliated in order to stay small (even if those actions may be done with the deepest love for the little tree). What about the bonsai being dependant on its owner for proper care, else he'll soon perish And what about the Mighty Oak, proud and independant, surviving the elelments all by himself. His strength and size, his shelter against rain, his branches offering us pleasure of climbing and swinging, this all make us love and respect him in awe.
It's good to prove a point, but then the arguments should be the right ones. Otherwise it only leads to frowns....
Well, I may look rather critical above, though that is just caused by my intense love and respect for the mighty trees. But I enjoyed reading this poem or prose very much, beautiful poetic lines...and it inspired me to think and feel about trees and nature again, while I'm a very much home-bound person.
Wonderful, touching poem. About deep emotions, caught in very sensitive and poetic lines.
Isn't it almost a dream (a dream of many), that love should win out in the end? The lines you use to build up to that, naming all that has to be forgotten and forgiven, indicate that it is not so easy for love to win. That makes it all the more special that sometimes it does. You have put this into words in a very sensible and beautiful way. This poem gripped me, I recognize the feelings, even though I have never really been in that situation. Which leads me to the conclusion that your art here is great! (sorry to make it so complicated, but it's what I feel).
This poem flows so well, it almost reads like an unusually beautiful story. And I mean that as a compliment. I would have liked to quote two lines for their beauty. But as I tried to select them, I found that the poem is such a wonderfully strong organic unity, that I couldn't take out any line.
I think you are very good in expressing strong emotions! Thank you for sharing!
I'm reviewing your item: Chapter 1 - The Beginning
A gripping story, that feels like the account of a nightmare.
You have a writing-style that keeps me interested till the end and that makes me read at high speed with ease. I like to read your stories, because of the quality of writing. But I'm not entirely sure, if the contents matches the writing in that: the story could use slightly more excitement. Mainly because it's not so easy to identify with the main character. And in the other story that I read from you, the same situation applied: I could not easily identify. Writing from the I-point-of-view is perhaps not so suitable to draw the reader in (though this is just my feeling, I don't have the knowledge to back up this statement)
You paint the scene in a believable way. Even though this is clearly super-natural, yet it feels like real. Well done! The scene is also nicely detailed and I like that it is a short chapter; that is inviting to read (a book in manageable portions). But it should not be any shorter than this, else the fluency of reading will get interrupted too often.
Thank you for sharing this first chapter. I'm curious to read more!
Regards, Maria
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This is a beautiful poem about the love and support you got from your family. Beautiful imagery! I really like this one!
The rhythm is a bit hampered because of how you split up some lines. Perhaps you could write every line without breaking it up, but this is not a big problem, I feel.
Basically I like the use of colour. Though I must say that the use of it here seems a bit at random. A more even spread of the colours would work better I think
Thank you for sharing this very beautiful and personal poem
Regards, Maria
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This is my review of your item "Footprints In Time".
First Impression: A nice poem on a not so common subject. That makes it a bit special.
Contents: There is a nice philosophical thought behind this poem, about leaving our footprints in time. I think that you are saying that all of us play a role in this world, thus we all leave our print and we should not try to copy others, but trust in ourselves. An interesting thought, I like it.
Wording and style: The words you use are simple and clear. The poem lacks a bit rhythm and fluency, I think.
A few remarks:
It looks very nice that you have used colour for the line "Footprints in Time". But I have a small remark about the title: their should be one empty line between the title and the poem-body, I think. You might also consider to write the title in capitals, similar as the same line further in the poem.
I always remember and am reminded of
people just ordinary people, all In my idea "and am reminded of" stops the fluency of the poem and is not really needed. You could also write it like:
I always remember people
just ordinary people all, I think that this reads better.
And on that long stretch of sidewalk
as we walk along-- we try to fit our footprints into those of others. This second line is very long and thus out of rhythm. You could split it after "fit" and write "our footprints...." as a third line in this stanza.
Conclusive: I believe that this poem, but also your other poems (I read several of them ) are based on nice poetic and original thoughts, so they could turn into very unique and personal poems. But you would have to improve a bit on the writing: try to make them more fluent. So all in all I do believe that you may well be a promising poet!
Ahh, I love this one. These few lines are loaded with meaning. You seem to have found the right words to express so much, a commendable job! Next to that, it's also a pleasure to read and feel the emotion behind the poem (a tease indeed).
It's also a beautiful poem - senryu. I have no knowledge of senryu's sadly, so the technical side I can't really judge, apart from the fact that there are no mistakes in spelling/grammar.
May you write many more of these...
Regards, Maria
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Your cNote shops are outstanding! The changing notes, I had never seen before, but they are awesome. And your butterfly - and flower notes are really beautuful. 
The pictures bring it to life and your port has become very much organized in this way. The best port-introduction I've come across so far! 
Some lines which I liked a lot:
Most painful and strongly expressed poem about lost love. The wording is very personal, beautiful, poetic: revealing your pain and sense of loss to the world, in such a way, that I felt I could share your emotions.
In spite of the deep sadness, I still do find this a most beautiful poem. 
You observed changing moods so well, in the next lines: 
The middle stanza is slightly less poetic and gives me the feeling as if perhaps one or two small mistakes have crept in. But that could simply be my lack of knowledge of English; "be loved OF him": "BY him", sounds more familiar to me; "In all that I endeavored was taken for a cover": this line slightly confuses me, I wonder if "IN" is needed here, I'm not sure if I am completely understanding this line... But actually, I don't like to make any such remark, because for me they take nothing away from how much I like this poem! 
Some other lines, which I like very much, full of depth: 
It looks very nice that you have used colour for the line "Footprints in Time". But I have a small remark about the title: their should be one empty line between the title and the poem-body, I think. You might also consider to write the title in capitals, similar as the same line further in the poem. 
I always remember and am reminded of
And on that long stretch of sidewalk