|It's a good story. Here are a couple of ideas I have to edit it a bit. Comedy is tough to write cause everyone has a different idea of what is funny. So these are just my suggestions.
I would cut out a lot of superfluous words. There are several sentences that would read a bit smoother (in my opinion) if they were trimmed a bit. For example...
One fine Sunday afternoon with a Mother-in Law in toe, toting a disposable camera in hand and four young children toddling along, we enter Fishermen’s Wharf for fun in San Francisco.
I would change to something like...
One fine Sunday afternoon, mother-in law in toe, disposable camera in hand and four young children toddling along, we entered Fishermen’s Wharf for fun in San Francisco.
I also changed "enter" to "entered" because the following sentence you wrote in past tense.
Sometimes, I think "less can be more", for example (and this is just me) I think this part would be funnier slimmed down...
Her father was alarmed in a way that amuses me to this day. He started running after that trolley car, shrieking panicky parental profanities at the unaware driver.
Maybe sort of like...
Her father ran in a panic after the trolley, shrieking profanities at the unaware driver.
Hope this was helpful!