This is a great view of the world. Many people find themselves in this position, and it is hard to overcome the feeling of dispare when you find yourself in a position you are not happy in. I think you have captured this feeling very well in your piece.
I like this. It is simple, yet it sais so much about the way we go about our lives. I also like the way you have set the poem up, as each stanza is a comparison of the give and take that we encounter each day. It also gives you a sense of the struggles that we go through, even within ourselves.
I love the immage of the tower and it's occupant that you create withing this story. It is very vivid, and even though I had to read this in sections, I could still maintain the immagery and the feeling that you created. I also love the way you describe the mist, and could almost feel it creeping towards me as I read.
I really like this. You definatly capture what would be on the minds of an man if he had been dead for a few thousand years.
You also hint at our great desire to understand first hand what was going through the minds of people from generations back. I wish the format could have let you further explor this theme, but three hundred words are not a lot in the grand scheme of things.
This sounds so much like my parents as I was growing up. You have artfully captured the conversation.
The one think I felt was missing was an indication of your mother's and fathers expressions. I think if you had described the looks upon their faces, it would have been a stronger piece.
And I do not say that simply due to the subject of the work.
This is the first piece I have read at any of these sites that has held me in wrapped attention straight through. Your descriptions are very vivid, and you have nailed the thought process of so many children in places simmilar to the environment you describe!
I enjoyed this piece, as I have known many a cat that behaves this way. I think you have nicely captured the way a cat responds to it's owner (or to the one it owns, depending on how you view the human-cat relationship)
As strong as this piece is, I felt that there was something missing. At no point do you describe something that you and Gracie did that she would do with no other human, or an action that she did that set her appart from other cats.
Thank you for sharing this piece.
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