I really enjoyed reviewing your article. I look forward to seeing more work from you in the future. I try to do as many reviews as I can each week. I am a professional writer and I know the value of a good review. So I try to give them as often as possible. I am also reviewing this article in association with Anniversary Reviews forum. Happy account anniversary!!
My overall impression of your work: I like what you have started here. I believe you could make this poem exceptional if you want to. I have recently made some discoveries that I like to share with my fellow poets. I also write for https:allpoetry.com and recently have won numerous awards there. The reason I have been winning is because I have changed my writing style. I write primarily poetry and have always been very descriptive in my work. I have discovered however, that the key is not in describing but rather in painting a picture and allowing the reader to interpret it through their own filters. I do that by omitting adjectives and adverbs, as well as prepositions. In other words I use no words that describe but rely instead on nouns, pronouns, and verbs to convey my message. Instead of saying “Roses are red” I say “looking at the roses”. This allows the reader to interpret it and paint their own picture. I have found it to be very effective. I have won a total of ten out of thirty contests I entered there in the past two weeks. I have not always placed high. Many of my wins have been honorable mentions, but they are still trophies.
I agree with you. Death will catch up to us all. I have been married twice. Both women are now deceased. It makes one take a hard look at their own mortality, and accept the fact that we are not going to live forever. Since you mentioned eternity,let me ask you if you know where you will be in eternity. Do you believe in God? If so, do you believe in Jesus Christ? Have you accepted Christ as your Savior? I did not believe in anything at one time. Then I entered recovery from addiction. I found that recovery for me required a power greater than myself. I investigated all world religions, and found that history seems to support the resurrection of Jesus Christ. I mean, even Roman records from that time discuss the eye-witness accounts of His resurrection. That convinced me. I am a Christian.
Your spelling and grammar were good as far as I could tell. I read quickly so I could easily overlook something. However everything looked good to me.
What I liked most about your article /poem was: I liked that you are considering your mortality.
What I liked least about your article/poem was: If anything it would be the format. I have already discussed the use of adjectives and such. I prefer poetry with rhyme and meter over free verse and prose. If I read free verse I prefer it to be less flowery and more hard hitting.
Closing remarks: Happy account anniversary from Anniversary Reviews Forum!
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