|First of all, I want to say thank you for asking me to review your poem. Reviews aren't something I really have time for, since I like to go in depth, but I'll take a stab at this and give you my opinion.
The first six lines were good. You not only set the scene, but your description of her dress in lines 7-9 left much to the imagination. How old is the dress? Is it from the 40's? Or as old as 1808? I think more description is wanted here. I also find it disappointing that you didn't say what color the dress is. And why is she wearing pantaloons with a dress?
I advise you to replace 'like' with another term in this poem. It's unnecessary. For example, instead of saying 'like in tunneled vision', you can simply say 'tunnel vision'. 'Tunneled vision' is an incorrect term.
Something you need to correct in this poem is past/present tense. You wrote in present tense through out the entire poem save for the last five lines, which are curiously written as if the whole scene happened a while ago.
Some of your lines are little long. For example, line 14 would look better like this:
And when she steps off the lake and onto the forest floor
The animals are not afraid
It's a suggestion that will make your poem look more polished.
Other than the problems I've listed, the spirit of the story is very romantic. The last stanza especially was sensual and very descriptive, and I liked the subject matter.
I encourage you to keep writing, and here are a few GP's as encouragement.
Best Of Luck!