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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Queen Of Darkness  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)

This poem, though labelled as a haiku, does not conform the definition of a haiku--



"a major form of Japanese verse, written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, and employing highly evocative allusions and comparisons, often on the subject of nature or one of the seasons.
a poem written in this form."

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/haiku#:~:text=no...

The first line has 10 syllables.

The next two lines are grammatically incorrect--

But her heart drips blue,
For all their fear and anguish.

There are no spelling mistakes.

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is the first time I heard about a Janaku poem. Google search reveald the following:

The Janaku is a form that has few rules or restrictions. Each stanza has three lines each, and each line is one, two, then three words. No rhyme or meter is required.

http://www.personapaper.com/article/45229-janaku-s...

As per the above definition, your Janaku poem is well written. However, I think it would be nice if you define this uncommon poetry style as a foot note to your poem.

You have focused upon the nature of written / unwritten understanding between persons. You have brought out the idea well.

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This item is supposedly a sonnet. However, it is not.

Ref:

In the English-speaking world, we usually refer to three discrete types of sonnet: the Petrarchan, the Shakespearean, and the Spenserian.
All of these maintain the features outlined above - fourteen lines, a volta, iambic pentameter - and they all three are written in sequences. The primary difference is the rhyme scheme.


https://www.superprof.co.in/blog/different-types-o...

NOTE—None of the above three types has a rhyme scheme used here—AABB. Also, there are more than 14 lines.

Regarding the writing itself, it is clean, without grammatical or other mistakes. You have treated the subject in a subtle and abstract manner.
It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your bio-block states--
Review my work and give me feedback on my rhyming, theme, coherence, meaning, grammar, punctuation, mistakes, etc..

***
rhyming, >>> There is no apparent rhyming scheme.

theme,>>> The theme is hate and its futility. It is an appropriate theme.

coherence,>>> The writing is coherent

meaning,>>> The meaning is clear.

grammar, >>> OK in general

punctuation, >>> You need to use punctuation. Punctuation helps clarify writing. The only punctuation you have used consists of two question marks. No period / comma even!

mistakes >>> Nil.

--M C Gupta


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Hear me once  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a nice little poem about the feelings of the heart.

Ref: Lonly is my nights
>>> Lonely are my nights

Suggestion--Both you and the readers might gain if you use a bit of punctuation.
[Some persons tend to think that punctuation is irrelevant in poetry. It is not so.]

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Double Rainbow  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very well written anecdote about a little child's playful exploits. The description of everything and action, the minutest, is wonderful.

Sample this--
Annie wipes her wet sleeve off on her pants as she stares out through the window in wonderment, "her eyes so wide they reflect the image outside clearly".

Keep writing.

--M C Gupta


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of My Review#10  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
The subject line of this item reads--"My another review. Need feedback from you."

***

My feedback is as follows:

i)--I have been here more than a decade. It is the first time I have seen a review of another item being posted as an independent item.

ii)--It is good to send reviews. However, essentially, that is a communication from the reader to the writer. It is quite possible the writer may not like a public display of the review.

iii)--Your language skills (grammar, spelling) need refining.

iv)--You should concentrate on honing your writing skills and not reviewing skills. Reviewing skills will come on their own once you get better established as a writer.

It is a courtesy review for the GP you sent me.
--M C Gupta
================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a gripping story, fascinatingly told. However, unless I am missing something, the end is too abrupt and the story is unfinished. [I am afraid I am missing some vital clue.]

Is there a Part Two?

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================

9
9
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am very happily surprised to read this account. I believe it is all true and, that being so, I congratulate you for your approach and insight.

As a piece of writing, too, it is excellent stuff written on a novel topic in engaging style without any mistake of language / grammar.

Keep it up.

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================
10
10
Review of Dreams Matter  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
A mild comment:

All of us in the world stands by your side,
and knows what it's like to have a dreams.

>>>

All of us in the world stand by your side,
and know what it's like to have a dreams.

***

Your bioblock says --"I have decided not to listen to people's opinion...."

I meekly suggest you revise this attitude. None ever suffered in life if he / she bothered about others' opinion.

NOTE--The poem will look better if you try to keep the line length nearly the same everywhere.


It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================

11
11
Review of Supernatural  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice poem.

You have written it as a loop poem. It would have been helpful to readers if you describe in brief, as a footnote, what is a loop poem. In detail, it is as follows:

"Loop Poetry is a poetry form created by Hellon. There are no restrictions on the number of stanzas nor on the syllable count for each line. In each stanza, the last word of the first line becomes the first word of line two, last word of line 2 becomes the first word of line 3, last word of line 3 becomes the first word of line 4. This is followed for each stanza. The rhyme scheme is abcb.

Variations:

1. Stanzas, writers choice on the number, no rhyming, the last word, first word scheme is maintained.

2. One long stanza, no limit on number of lines, no rhyming scheme, the last word, first word scheme is maintained.

3. Couplets mixed with 4 line stanzas, the last word, first word scheme is maintained in the stanzas. It can also be used in the couplets. Rhyme scheme is ab, cc, defg, hh, ii, jklm, nn, oo."

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/looppoet...

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================

12
12
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a nice small poem describing picturesquely the sad horror of war based on principles that taint a religion, the religion itself being revealed in the last but one line--

her blood soaked hijab
flutters in the breeze

Your imagery is great.

--M C Gupta
13
13
Review of Old Indian Prayer  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is quite revealing to read this little prayer "Written for my daughter who asked me to write something Indian".

It is obvious you had the "Red Indian" in mind.

It is remarkable that the concepts described gel perfectly with the great Indian culture that has continued uninterrupted for 13000 years. In India, the followers of the Indian culture / Hindu religion have no difficulty in perceiving divinity in plants, animals, livers and mountains, all of whom are given due respect and regard, without trying to destroy nature violently.

--M C Gupta
14
14
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an impressive introduction to a book. It is nice to see an author describe his purpose in writing the book as--"I've considered my purpose as an author – to make people happy".

Your language style is good with no clear / apparent mistakes. Yet, it is quite modest of you to write--"it might happen that I let some mistakes of English sneak into the chapters. I beg to forgive me for that, as well as for poor language".

All the best for your developing book.

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================
15
15
Review of Rainy Trip  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)

Firstly, your bio-block says--" I am six years old". You meant sixty.

I note that you have disability and, for that, I will not mention about the flaws in your writing.

However, I note that you are writing a novel. That being so, it would be advisable to take some lessons / course in English grammar / writing.

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================
16
16
Review of I am awake  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is described as--"written by a Vampier". It is possible that this particular vampire preferred to call itself as a Vampier.


I am surprised that this poem is titled--"I AM AWAKE HIAKU". The 6 verses are not haikus.

However, you have written well.


It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================
17
17
Review of Who's a Square?  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
I know that to my children
I’ll always be a square.

>>> This is a wonderful thing to remember:)
Well, life is just like that. Happens to everybody. But everybody is not able to write such a beautiful poem about it.

[What to say of writing, few would even think of writing a poem on this theme!

--M C Gupta
18
18
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
Here is a wonderful, small piece. It certainly proves the adage--"Small is beautiful". You set out to give a message that was clear and crisp. The message does not lose its importance because it is not long.

Moreover, your choice of the title and theme is extra-ordinary. I have never read something of this sort on this site during maybe 17-18 years of my stay here.

All the best.

--M C Gupta

====================================
19
19
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh, what a story! It made me feel very humble. I cannot write even one sentence of emotional prose while here you have a mine of wonderful imagination, observation, description and confabulation, along with emotions and morals--all combined into one.

You are a great writer. I wish you all success in life--because you deserve it.

--M C Gupta
20
20
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is an unusual write on an unusual theme. The writer pontificates on the unusual theme--"Who is harder to love?". She comes out with the answer that, in her case, she found it hard to love herself because she was worthless, till one day she realised that she was created by God, and in creating her, He must have had a purpose, and, therefore, she was not worthless but had a purpose in life.

Some people might say this is circuitous reasoning.

In any case, it is reasonably well written. And, some sort of reasoning is better than no reasoning at all!

--M C Gupta
21
21
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a nice little essay about a topic that usually doesn't catch the attention of other writers. You have done well to give illustrative examples.

In India, BJP (Bartiya Nanata Paerty)'s election campaign, which made Prime Minister Modi win the post, made good use of the 3-word catchy slogan--"Acche Din Ayenge" -Good days are here to come].


This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

====================
22
22
Review of Strength  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
She was lonely,
She was sad,


She would ponder,
She would muse,


Is it fear?
Is it foes?


Yet she moves,
But never speaks,
To the rhythm of it all,
To the life of the beat.

***

The above is simply wonderful. You have packed a lot of meaning and feeling in this short poem. Keep writing!

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

====================
23
23
Review of Love  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)

A nice poem, with the following comments:



Dew drops on roses

A beautiful site

***

What you meant was--"A beautiful sight".

ALSO

Love is a mystery

I can discover

Love is a mystery

I’ll always recover

***

The first two lines are fine. The last two are not.

"I’ll always recover" from what?


A common usage is--"I’ll recover from illness / grief etc."

Hope the above is of help.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

====================
24
24
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
Dear Dr.,

This is a nice write, though a bit difficult to comprehend. It is labelled as an essay. However, it gives a feel of a poem where the opening line is way too long.

Ref: lightening the paths to passengers

>>> Lightening means to lighten; to make less heavy.
Probably you meant 'lighting the paths'

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

====================
25
25
Review of Dreaming  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nice poem. You need to be consistent in your plan of capitalising the initial letter of a line. You seem to try capitalising the first letter of a sentence. That's fine. But there are deviations.

they dance a lovers dance,
>>> lovers' dance

Hope you don't mind the comments.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

====================
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