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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Uncomparable  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a reciprocal review.

This is a perfect septolet, which is
a poem consisting of seven lines containing fourteen words with a break in between the two parts. Both parts deal with the same thought and create a picture.

All requirements have been met. The message is clear and strong.

--M C Gupta
2
2
Review of Welcome Winter  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a reciprocal review.
A tanka poem is describd as:

"Tanka poetry refers to a Japanese 31-syllable poem, traditionally written as a single, unbroken line. The word "tanka" translates to "short song." Similar to haiku poetry, tanka poems have specific syllable requirements.

Traditional Japanese tanka poems consist of 31 syllables written in a single, unbroken line. In English translations, the tanka tends to take on a five-line form.

This example from Shadow Poetry was written by Dendrobia.
A cool wind blows in
With a blanket of silence.
Straining to listen
For those first few drops of rain,
The storm begins in earnest.

https://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-ta...


You have followed the rules well. However,

Autumn invites us
Festive mood through her beauty,

>>> This does not make a proper grammatical statement / sentence. I suggest:

Autumn invites our
Festive mood through her beauty,


--M C Gupta

3
3
Review of Telling  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)


This write up is about "Telling". To tell about telling is not an easy task.

I must admit that it was a bit difficult to read this item. To me, it sems to have that quality called verbosity. I am a doctor turned lawyer and write mainly poetry. That being so, I take care to be very careful about each and every word I use.

--M C Gupta
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Review of The End  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
I must say this is a very nice narration--

“You’re very careful as a husband but-- ”

“You’re the charmless guy. “ She tells very rapidly, “ You may get my mercy but not love.”

I can only say—Strange are the ways of women (and God)! Never try to understand either.

--M C Gupta

5
5
Review of GO GLOBAL  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (2.5)
I think this is my fifth reciprocal review of your work. What I wrte in the ealier reviews holds good here also.

SUGGESTIONS--

i)--Try to avoid writing acrostics.Keeping flow in an acrostic is a big challenge.
ii)--Flow lacks in your poetry. That is an essential attribute of a poem.
iii)--Try syllable counting.

--M C Gupta
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Review of GO WORLD  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (2.5)
This is my fourth reciprocal review of your work. Since a review must be honest, I have rated all the four at 2.5, which means average. Increased rating can be possible if the followig suggestions appeal to you:

i)--Avoid writing acrostics except when necessary.
ii)--Try to introduce flow in your poetry.
iii)--Pay attention to syllable counts. That can do wonders to a poem.

--M C Gupta
7
7
Review of GO NATION  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (2.5)
This is my third review of your work for reason of reciprocation.

It so happens that this, again, is an acrostic. I have certainly written acrostics, but I did so only to take part in a contest. Otherwise, I avoid writing acrostics because they are a challenge from the point of view of maintaining rhythm / flow, which, in my opinion, is an essential characteristic of poetry in any language.

--M C Gupta





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8
Review of ROB  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello. This is my second review of your work as my duty to repay the favour to me in reviewing my poetry.

Frankly, I could not discern flow in your poem. I believe that poetry, of whatever nature and style, must flow.Without poetic flow, poetry assumes the contours of prose.

SUGGESTION--
i)--It is easier to maintain flow when lines are shorter.
ii)--You have strived to keep 13 words in each line. That is not the usual style of poets. You would, for a change, find that 13 syllables per line (though this, too, is on the higher side) would bring some flow.

--M C Gupta
9
9
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a good piece, and a needed one. Standards of language and grammar are declining, aided by SMS-texting styles.

I liked the way you give examples, such as:

***

New Horizons Academy offers courses in writing techniques, and it hires only the best instructors.
In this sentence, we have two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction. New Horizons Academy offers courses in writing techniques can stand alone as a separate sentence. It hires only the best instructors is also an independent clause because it, too, can stand alone as a separate sentence. These clauses are joined by a Coordinating Conjunction, so a comma is needed before and.

**

A job well undertaken and well done!

--M C Gupta
10
10
Review of Those Eyes....  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
There are two aspects of a poem--Poetic idea and poetic form. The former is evident here. The latter is not evident. Poetic form is expressed through rhyme and meter. They ad beauty and charm to a poem. They are also a bit difficult to achieve because much practice is needed.

When line length is highly variable in a poem, it is often indicative of lack of poetic structure.

--M C Gupta

==========================
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11
Review of Darkness  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
Dear Mina ji,

It aroused my curiosity. I had never heard of this form, though I have plenty of regular sonnets in my folder.

You have very well defined the rules--a/bb/aa/b c/dd/cc/d ee

BUT, you have not been able to follow them. Neither the syllabic counts nor the prescribed rhyme scheme is there.

An example of a HexSonnetta can be viewed at:

http://poetscollective.org/poetryforms/hex-sonnata...

*****

I have tried to tweak your words a bit to appear something like a HexSonnetta.

Here is the result:



"My friend is black darkness
to sort the files in mind
Which once I left behind
In total wilderness.
But this I always guess
I will true solace find.


It’s a place of escape
For dark clouds do bring rain
which washes away pain
And alters every shape
And fixes it with tape.
There’s some loss and some gain.


Darkness does bring some grace.
Let us darkness embrace."


****

Please note that the above does not carry much sense, but still has sense. [Vagueness in poetry is not bad!].Furthermore, I have not bothered about the iambic cadence. [I am not very good at it. After all, English is not my first language.]


Hope you don't mind dissecting and altering your piece.

All the best.

--M C Gupta

12
12
Review of Imponderables  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
Ref:

An old man with a head set
What could he be listening to?

Another day of imponderables
For the intrepid mall walker.

***

Nice presentation of imponderables! At this rate, anything that a man or animal does would be imponderable. And, pray, why should others' acts be ponderable? Doesn't everybody have right to privacy of thought?

--M C Gupta

=======================
13
13
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a poem that does not look like a poem. The lines have no semblance of some sort of discernible pattern. The line length varies from 7 to 23 words. 23 words might mean around 50 syllables. It would be almost impossible to expect some rhythm in such a piece, and there is none. I think rhythm is the single most important characteristic of poetry.

The above, dear Doctor, is not meant to down-rate this piece or your writing. All writers are to be encouraged. However, it is necessary to give a helpful and honest critique. I have simply done that.

Happy writing!

--M C Gupta, MD

=====================
14
14
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a nice comment on Trump. Or, rather, this is a nice comment on Trump's comment(s).

During the last nine months as US President, he has acted in a way that people, In the USA and outside, have learnt not to take his comments seriously.

--M C Gupta

====================
15
15
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a very moving and sad account of what happened to a country that was once called “The Breadbasket of Africa”. All because of the weird policies of the Head of the State. Therein lies the importance of democracy. In a democracy, what rules is law and the people's will (reflected through law) and not the will of man.

It was tragic to read about the decimation of animals in Zimbabwe because forests were destroyed and land was usurped.

--M C Gupta
16
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Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a nice poem about a Cherokee woman was rejected / banished from the tribe for having refused to marry the Chief's son because she loved another man. Ultimately, the two met and married.

The following describes what happened afterwards--


They lived among friendly white men and were accepted.
They married and had children and each other.
They never forgot their roots but their people had rejected them.
Cherokee in their hearts but they loved living in the white man's world.

>>> A very good story / poem indeed!

--M C Gupta
17
17
Review of Bicorne Blues  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a wonderful short story.

In order to understand it well, I had to look up the Wikepedia, which says--

"The Bicorn is a creature (often described as a part-panther, part-cow creature with a human-like face[1]) that has the reputation of devouring kind-hearted and devoted husbands, and is thus plump and well fed, whereas the Chichevache devours obedient wives and is therefore thin and starving."

SUGGESTION--

he was killed by a Bicorne, a plump panther wife a human face

>>> he was killed by a Bicorne, a plump panther with a human face


--M C Gupta

==============================
18
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Review of Self-Help  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a good poem. It aims at being inspirational and it does inspire.

The thoughts and the words are good. There are no glaring grammar mistakes. However, I suggest some alteration:

With empathy touch let’s stand beside other
With a smile let’s build this world together.

>>>
With empathy's touch let’s stand beside another
With a smile, let’s build this world together.

--M C Gupta

===============================
19
19
Review of Salute!  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a nice poem. More and more need to be written to pay homage to those who serve the country and die for it.

Ref:

Serving in the armed forces,
You are trained for many obstacles.
Anywhere from snipers on horses,
To an innocent looking child in spectacles.

>>> Yes. Even "an innocent looking child in spectacles", could be an innocent human bomb. We never know.

I wish you could make this poem a little longer.

--M C Gupta

--M C Gupta
20
20
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
The title of this piece (Five Ugly Things in Nature) is intriguing enough to attract the reader. The piece itself does not testify to the truthfulness of the title.

You have commented upon spiders, mosquitoes, warthogs, hyenas and monkeys. You have not said a word about their alleged ugliness. You have rather praised their unmatchable qualities!

Your writing style is good in general, except for a small hint:

Ref:

Their work ethics model dedication and perseverance.

>>> Their work ethics model--"dedication and perseverance".

--M C Gupta
21
21
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
This item is labelled-- "Witness to an enigmatic miracle".

I read this piece and was left wondering as to what is the miracle you are talking about and why it was supposed to be enigmatic.

Its description reads--"The truth about making peace with your past, not crashed"

FIRSTLY, the description does not have a proper grammatical appearance.

SECONDLY, it is difficult to relate this description with the contents of the small piece you wrote.

I am sure you can write better with practice.

--M C Gupta
22
22
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Well, it is a funny write and funny it was supposed to be. The fact that it is set in the year 2200 AD and talks of a galactic event shows your futuristic vision about planetary travel.

You taught me a new word --Traffic cone. I have certainly seen these cones but never knew they are called traffic cone. Thanks.

--M C Gupta
23
23
Review of My best season  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a beautiful poem. It is so personalised, as if spring is a human being. The opening lines attract the reader immediately--

Where did you get your beautiful dress?
Who made over your pretty face?
You have made air fragrant and new.
Oh, My beautiful spring, I always love you.

Also, I learnt a new word today--warren. Just imagine, I spent 75 years without knowing what a warren is!

Thanks.

--M C Gupta

It is a
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Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a wonderful poem. Wonderful, because I do not understand it and, yet, the blame for that goes to me, not the writer. It is so abstract in nature, contains so subtle and lofty themes that my mind is unable to conjure them as a whole into a connected theme. To use an old cliche, "there is method in madness". That method eludes me.

--M C Gupta

=====================================
25
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Review of A Teen's Prayer  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful poem. I don't remember having read earlier a poem on this theme. It is well written and has flow.

I particularly liked the following lines:

"I miss how we girls used to link arms on the playground and sing:
“Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider;
Girls go to college to get more knowledge”
I miss being little and cute
And feeling like a princess in ruffly, lacy dresses
Now I feel ugly and unloved,
Feeling pretty only when I wear tons of make-up and fashionable clothes
Now we girls fight over boys and boyfriends
Instead of uniting against them"


--M C Gupta
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