This poem has a nice title. However, there is scope for improvement:
In hopes of learning something new
from carefully arranged
words that, separately could not,
effect those lives be changed.
>>> This does not make a grammatically complete / cogent statement. [It is preceded by and ends with a period.Hence it should be a complete sentence in itself.]
***
They criticized, berated.
They didn't see it's worth.
It is a well written sonnet about a beach stroll. The imagery is quite picturesque. You have followed the required rhyme and rhythm and syllabic counts.
The following needs a relook--
A seabird glides by with a happy song
Kites flutter up from glee children at play
Some regal sand castles seem to belong
Sun shines on the ocean throughout the day
[The second and third lines above do not fit grammatically.]
This is a poem about which I can only imagine as regards the context, not living in USA as I am. I guess it relates to the feelings of a poor chap without much money who has to make do with stale coffee and beans etc. doled out free or at very cheap price. The quality of the stuff offered is obviously not very high and any disgruntling comparison with Starbucks etc. calls for a hearty laugh from others.
In essence, the poem brings out the travails / fate of a person living in poverty. It is a topic worth writing about so as to tell the worshippers of capitalism / money that there are some who are nearly starving.
This poem had to be read twice to try to understand it. The reading was not made easier by the fact that the second, third and fourth verses / stanzas end in a hyphen, not a period.
There are no mistakes of grammar and language, testifying to the seriousness of writing. The topic you address is the man of the future, too much connected with wires and chips etc., losing his individuality to that extent. Your concern is valid.
This is a piece well written about a topic where even a small lapse / loose use of words might grow into a big controversy. What you wrote is well balanced and politically correct. It is apparently realistic as well.
Ref: I believe that each of these Prophets, Messengers or Manifestation of God (which ever way the originators of the religions are referred to) reflected to humanity the attributes of God.
***
Reflection would reveal that humans in about two thirds of the world (Christians and Muslims)do not feel that way. At least, their religious leaders and teachings don't.
FOR EXAMPLE:
i)--The bitter fights and feuds and killings between Shias and Sunnis in the Islamic world are because each of them has different views about who was the last prophet.
ii)--The bitter fights and feuds and killings and crusades between Christians and Muslims occur because
each of them has different views about who was the last prophet.
AND, each of the fighters named above says he is fighting for the sake of God!Each of them says he is the true believer and the others are infidels. [Logically, it is not understandable why I should die because I do not believe something!]
The goal of each (Islam and Christianity) is to convert the rest of the humanity to its own belief system.
AND, the biggest irony is that it is the countries dominated by these religions who teach India to be tolerant. Even President Obama did so some time ago.[A country that was so intolerant that no other country has been so intolerant as to destroy two cities and their civilians by dropping atomic bombs on them.]
This is a great poem. Written in tetrameter, with proper rhyme, rhythm, without any mistakes of grammar or spelling, this simply worded piece is likely to be remembered by those for whom it was written--teenagers.However, the advice is OK for everybody.
This is, on the whole, a good write up that many men would be eager to read and learn from.
COMMENTS:
1--These tips will most likely to result a successful first date.
>>> This is just one example of several grammatical mistakes here. Please pay attention to your grammar.
2--If you want to compliment her, be genuine, sincere and reasonable. You can say, I like your skirt, it emphasized your long and nice legs and compliments the color of your top.
>>> This is so difficult! Your bio-block is empty but I guess you are a female. It is so easy for a woman to think and comment about another woman's clothes--AND so difficult and potentially dangerous for a man to do so.
This is a review of the poem--"distant clouds go rolling by".
It is a small poem, not characterised by a definitive poetic structure of traditional poetry. However, it is stil readable and enjoyable. A distinguishing feature that lends it grace is that it starts and ends with the same words--"distant clouds go rolling by".
I once read about haiku and summarised my thoughts as follows:
Haiku is a Japanese form of poetry having the following characteristics:
1. It is written in three lines, with 5 syllables in first and third line and 7 in the second line.
2. It has Kigo, which is the Japanese word for a seasonal reference. If a haiku doesn’t have it – it isn’t haiku.
3. It has Kireji, which, in Japanese,means a pause. It is denoted by a : and refers to the splitting of the haiku into two parts. The first is the setting and the second is the action.
4. It says a LOT in very few words.
****
Your haiku meets most of the above criteria. Thanks for sharing.
I read this poem because I found it in the Spiritual Newsletter. Frankly, but with humility, I did not find any spirituality in it. As a matter of fact, what goes by the term spiritual in the West is often nothing more than Christianity.
When I say this, nobody need point any fingers at me. My portfolio will reveal about at least a hundred poems written in praise of Jesus or his preachings.
Spirituality transcends religion. A person can be spiritual without believing in Jesus or Muhammad or any God. One who believes in Jesus is not necessarily spiritual.
Ref:
You gave me love when all I had was Hate
You gave me life when all I had was death
You gave me Hope when all I had was fear
>>> To me these lines are saying—“Before I found Jesus, I was full of hate, death and fear”. This may be true of an occasional abnormal person. Otherwise, there is no logical reason to suppose the following:
A—That a person who is not a Christian is “full of hate, death and fear”.
B—That a person “full of hate, death and fear” would lose these attributes the moment he embraces Jesus.
TWO MORE COMMENTS:
--There is no reason why hate should be capitalised specifically.
--I did not find much content or style in this so called poem that might make it a reasonably good poem.
NOTE—I have written the above in utmost humility as a logical response without any intention at all of being disrespectful / rude to the Christian religion and the author of this piece.
It appears that the poet is describing a situation where he stands beneath a granite dome, with sprawling green fields around him and the river flowing below. If that is the intended scene, it has been described well
It is a nice poem. One can probably get the general idea, but the exact nature of events as they happen slightly eludes the reader, at least this reader.Yet, as I said, it is a nice poem on the whole.
The connection between verse 4 and 5 seems to be lacking.
This is a well written memoir about a serious moment,the seriousness of which takes time / years before children learn it.
Ref:
Do you think Dad likes his lotus?” She asked, glancing back at the grave. The flower stood swaying in the wind beside a grave that was not yet marked as Steve.
“I think the lotus likes dad,” I said, trying to make her laugh. She was preoccupied.
***
I liked the above. It shows the writing skills of the author.
Here is a poem I think I get the gist of, even though I don't get clearly the intended meaning of every word or term used. But, in poetry, that does not bother me as long s I get a general hang of things and a part remains mystically unbared, the unclear portions not being so because of grammatical / linguistic faults (which, here, are none).
Frankly, I find much in this 14-word poem that I don't understand. It is obviously in haiku style--at least that is easily understood. What is not understood is the following array of queries:
What are the 4 truths?
Why are they noble?
What has Dharma got to do with steak / sushi bar?
Please note that Sharma is a Sanskrit / Hindi word with a specific and unambiguous meaning in Hinduism / Indian cultural tradition.
---M C Gupta
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