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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mcgupta44/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
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5,741 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a nice poem about a Cherokee woman was rejected / banished from the tribe for having refused to marry the Chief's son because she loved another man. Ultimately, the two met and married.

The following describes what happened afterwards--


They lived among friendly white men and were accepted.
They married and had children and each other.
They never forgot their roots but their people had rejected them.
Cherokee in their hearts but they loved living in the white man's world.

>>> A very good story / poem indeed!

--M C Gupta
102
102
Review of Bicorne Blues  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a wonderful short story.

In order to understand it well, I had to look up the Wikepedia, which says--

"The Bicorn is a creature (often described as a part-panther, part-cow creature with a human-like face[1]) that has the reputation of devouring kind-hearted and devoted husbands, and is thus plump and well fed, whereas the Chichevache devours obedient wives and is therefore thin and starving."

SUGGESTION--

he was killed by a Bicorne, a plump panther wife a human face

>>> he was killed by a Bicorne, a plump panther with a human face


--M C Gupta

==============================
103
103
Review of Salute!  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a nice poem. More and more need to be written to pay homage to those who serve the country and die for it.

Ref:

Serving in the armed forces,
You are trained for many obstacles.
Anywhere from snipers on horses,
To an innocent looking child in spectacles.

>>> Yes. Even "an innocent looking child in spectacles", could be an innocent human bomb. We never know.

I wish you could make this poem a little longer.

--M C Gupta

--M C Gupta
104
104
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
The title of this piece (Five Ugly Things in Nature) is intriguing enough to attract the reader. The piece itself does not testify to the truthfulness of the title.

You have commented upon spiders, mosquitoes, warthogs, hyenas and monkeys. You have not said a word about their alleged ugliness. You have rather praised their unmatchable qualities!

Your writing style is good in general, except for a small hint:

Ref:

Their work ethics model dedication and perseverance.

>>> Their work ethics model--"dedication and perseverance".

--M C Gupta
105
105
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
This item is labelled-- "Witness to an enigmatic miracle".

I read this piece and was left wondering as to what is the miracle you are talking about and why it was supposed to be enigmatic.

Its description reads--"The truth about making peace with your past, not crashed"

FIRSTLY, the description does not have a proper grammatical appearance.

SECONDLY, it is difficult to relate this description with the contents of the small piece you wrote.

I am sure you can write better with practice.

--M C Gupta
106
106
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Well, it is a funny write and funny it was supposed to be. The fact that it is set in the year 2200 AD and talks of a galactic event shows your futuristic vision about planetary travel.

You taught me a new word --Traffic cone. I have certainly seen these cones but never knew they are called traffic cone. Thanks.

--M C Gupta
107
107
Review of My best season  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a beautiful poem. It is so personalised, as if spring is a human being. The opening lines attract the reader immediately--

Where did you get your beautiful dress?
Who made over your pretty face?
You have made air fragrant and new.
Oh, My beautiful spring, I always love you.

Also, I learnt a new word today--warren. Just imagine, I spent 75 years without knowing what a warren is!

Thanks.

--M C Gupta

It is a
108
108
Review of A Teen's Prayer  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful poem. I don't remember having read earlier a poem on this theme. It is well written and has flow.

I particularly liked the following lines:

"I miss how we girls used to link arms on the playground and sing:
“Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider;
Girls go to college to get more knowledge”
I miss being little and cute
And feeling like a princess in ruffly, lacy dresses
Now I feel ugly and unloved,
Feeling pretty only when I wear tons of make-up and fashionable clothes
Now we girls fight over boys and boyfriends
Instead of uniting against them"


--M C Gupta
109
109
Review of Welcome, silence  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice write, describing a sleepless night, which is a common experience. Your style of writing is good, EXCEPT that one feels a bit cheated:)

The cheating part comes from the opening line--"I’ll tell you a secret."

Now, everyone loves secrets and I kept reading till the end with a great expectation, which remained unfulfilled.

Or, did I miss something?

--M C Gupta

========================
110
110
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This story is just hilarious. And, since it is apparently true, is so wonderful! Just to imagine that, since "Boo likes to be the center of attention and since she wasn't in that position for a few minutes", "she went trotting off to who knows where" and returned and showed her blue treasure!

I never kept a dog. However, I guess every dog owner would have some surprising anecdote about the dog.

This is a great piece of writing.

--M C Gupta

===================
111
111
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a poem about life becoming too automatic, depriving a person of the freedom to do as he wants.

[This is what characterises creative persons--poets, writers, painters, singers, musicians, sculptors etc.--this freedom from automatism. Every time they do something, it is new to some extent.]

shinning sun,

>>> shining

--M C Gupta
112
112
Review of Song of Spring  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
It is a nice poem heralding the return of spring. Your imagery is rich and realistic.

Ref:

I saw a willow on the hill
It's branches greening in the sun

>>> Beware. It should be "its branches", not it's branches.

[it's branches would expand to--I saw a willow on the hill, it is branches greening in the sun. That would not make any sense.]

--M C Gupta

=================================
113
113
Review of Love's Crush  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice poem, consisting of rhyming tercets. The opening tercet is remarkable--

Like windswept sand
Through gentle hands
That tender faces touch

>>> I don't know what you had in mind when you wrote it. However, trying to be grammatically correct, the above can mean only one thing:

"Two tender faces touch each other not physically but through a gentle touch of hands."

That is a great idea, poetically speaking.

--M C Gupta

======================
114
114
Review of The Building  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a nice horror / mystery story, the like of which I have never read before. A lady notices a tall building with stone statues. She tries to find about it. An old man warns her not to do so. She does not heed his warning. She goes inside, never to come out, except by way of turning into a statue at the roof top!

Nice idea, well woven into a story.

There a re 4-5 mistakes. An example--"clouds which were half-covered and out of site".
>>> sight.

--M C Gupta
115
115
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This poem is about the eternal truth, the final journey--



The lacquered box lowers slowly, achingly, into the ground.
Bid the last farewells in handfuls of dirt upon the pyre mound.

Through murky tears, feel as the heart turns to stone.
As the bitter coldness of death seeps straight into the bone.


Let fall the dark stain petals on the love that left too soon.

***

The poem is written well, bringing about the emotions well, with apt description.

--M C Gupta

============================
116
116
Review of Lost  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a good poem. It starts with the description of nature, in all its vibrant splendour in different seasons, and, then, culminates in the last six lines:

And I

fall

into

the

choppy



depths.

***

There ends so familiar a story--the end of love; the end of life!

--M C Gupta

===================
117
117
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a short poem about childhood plays and fancies. It is a pleasure to read the following--

Two sisters bound by blithe, unfettered play
roamed verdant hills and danced where valleys lay,

rode hard their steeds and fought unnumbered foe
and ruled their kingdom, trav'ling to and fro.

--M C Gupta
118
118
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is a nice article about personal experiences of child abuse. A child is defenceless and believes everything done by elders is right. We need to live up to the child's faith and confidence in us.

The following is worth quoting--

"I know that my parents tried to raise me the best way they knew how. The unfortunate part is that the only way they knew how to raise me was the same way they were raised. I remember my mom telling me stories of her father dragging her home by her hair and kicking her along the way. I remember her saying that he was drunk a lot of the time."

--M C Gupta
119
119
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem describes a storm--

The dark storm clouds roll over,
Lightning flashes in her eyes,
A killer storm's coming through,
Better move off to the sides.


The description is vivid and realistic.

Q--This poem has recently been changed a lot. Below is the previous version. Let me know which you prefer.

ANSWER--The latter / newer version is better. [REASON--It has less variation in syllabic counts.]

--M C Gupta
120
120
Review of Growing Up  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It was sad to read this account. Also,it was a learning experience. I learnt how different certain cultures can be. I am an India, 75, and live in India. The type of life you lived in your childhood would be pretty rare here. I think the difference is attributable to basic societal values. Things would change here, too, say in next 50-75 years. When affluence comes, coupled with a sense of individual freedom and rights, one tends to lose a sense of responsibility towards the family.

Thanks for giving a realistic insight into your childhood. One sentence particularly struck me--"I remember having to step over passed out bodies in the morning to make my way to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal."

--M C Gupta
121
121
Review of The Morning After  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This poem is described as -- "Very short poem with a nice "twist".

That description is quite apt. The twist lies in the last two lines--


I don’t know what came over me.
I’m usually more of a gun person.

>>> The twist is clearly discernible in reference to the earlier lines--

I woke up this morning
With blood on my hands
A dagger under my pillow

Great job!

--M C Gupta
122
122
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a beautiful poem in praise of the Lord.

I have a suggestion:

I shall fall before You and
wash Your feet.
Bring me a basin of water
and a towel, as I am humbled
by Your Graciousness.

***

The above seems like you are commanding the Lord to bring you a basin of water. Maybe you could change it to:

I come with a basin of water
and a towel, as I am humbled
by Your Graciousness.

--M C Gupta

123
123
Review of Your life path  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This piece, though described as an essay, looks more like a poem (however, a poem that is too free of poetic structure, and hence, devoid of rhythm).

The idea behind this essay is nice, saying that it is for us to choose our path in life.

Ref: Hidden in this coffer growing shinning like a diamond

>>> Maybe you wanted to write--"Hidden in this coffer, growing and shining like a diamond"

[NOTE--A diamond does not grow.]

--M C Gupta
124
124
Review of The AHP  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a very well written story. It is the first chapter of a novel and I am sure the novel will turn out to be a very good one. The whole idea behind the novel is magnificent--AHP--Artificial Human Project. Dying, as a volunteer, every four months!That is certainly a novelty.

SUGGESTIONS:


answer the questions as truthful as you can
>>> answer the questions as truthfullly as you can

**

It always did so why would this time be any better?
>>> It always did so. Why would this time be any better?

[NOTE--Preferably: Why would this time be any different?

**

--M C Gupta
125
125
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Bubblegum Jones,

It was with pleasure (and a bit of pride) that I read this item. It is nice of you to keep a count of how many times I reviewed you. The fact is that I send a review back when I receive one. That is my policy. So, that means that you might have reviewed me 6-7 times!

The biggest strength of this site (WDC) is its review mechanism and the incentives for review. We should both thank the StoryMaster for that.

All the best.

--M C Gupta

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