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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mcgupta44/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
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5,741 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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126
126
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am rather intrigued that such an item was written at all. I am not a novelist but I cannot imagine a situation when, as a reader, I would mind a scene where a character examines himself / herself in the mirror. Whether or not to have such a scene in the novel appears to me to be a pointless question. Nobody can answer such a question better than the writer himself.It is his plan, his write and his choice.

--M C Gupta
127
127
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
It is nice to see someone thinking about the Baha'i faith.

NOTE--The following two do not gel--

Then in 2019 they will celebrate the two hundredth anniversary of the Birth of the Bab.

AND

Birth of the Báb - October 21, 2017

You need to correct the time lines.

--M C Gupta
128
128
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a poem about a deluge of memories preventing someone to go to sleep at night. A common enough occurrence.

Joy happiness sadness and remorse play together a sleep game.

>>> Joy, happiness, sadness and remorse play together a sleep game.

The vast variation between line lengths detracts from the structural aspects of a poem, the essential aspect of which, in my opinion, should be"flow".

--M C Gupta
129
129
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Dear doctor,

This is another attempt to write a story about the elixir of life--a medicine that prevents old age and death.The Bermuda triangle is also thrown in.

Any new write is commendable because it is the result of much effort. Your story is no exception.

I have written earlier, as part of a review of an item of yours, that your English needs to be refined a bit. However, I cannot hold that against you. English is not your first language (nor is it mine) and you have done pretty well.

--M C Gupta
130
130
Review of The Jesters' Lie  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
You have done a remarkable job through your jester poems. The theme is so unique that nobody else could have done it. This poem is no exception.

SUGGESTION--

Now the jesters young and healthy once again,
He’s a young boy, not quite a man

>>> I think you meant to write: Now the jester's young and healthy....

--M C Gupta

=====================
131
131
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a nice poem telling a great, imaginary story.

MY COMMENTS:

1--It would be nice if you use the period where it is needed.

2--In:

Finnegan's heart was nearly shattered,
He'd come so far, you see
He tried his best to understand,
choose the path to nobility

>>> It appears you wanted to say "chose".

--M C Gupta
132
132
Review of Only In Dreams  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a wonderfully original theme for a poem--"Poem Written For a Story Character". It shows a high level of creativity. The character speaks thus--

Only in dreams, I am with thee,
My heart with yours so wild and free
My love, I see your name, but not your face
It doesn't matter, I've found my place.

Congrats for a job well done. And thanks for sharing.

--M C Gupta
133
133
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a good poem about an unimaginable theme--Imagination.

What is imagination? It is described as--


You took me to so many places,
where dragons fly,
and mermaids swim.

AND, what happened to it?--

However, things happened,
I grew up,
and we drifted apart.

This is what poetry is supposed to be--brief, poignant and graphic, with flow.

Well written!

--M C Gupta
134
134
Review of Falling  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a nice poem / lyrics that describes beautifully that moment in love when, while a person says goodbye, the other is unable to, in spite of wanting, to say--"Stop, Don't go,I love you."

Those six words, withheld, while expecting that they still reach the other person!

This is the situation described here--

"As you walked away
I asked if you'd stay with me
for a minute---
while I light my cigarette?
But what I really meant. . .
went unsaid---

(It was I LOVE YOU)"

--M C Gupta
135
135
Review of The Right Path  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This small piece is probably intended to convey the fact that actresses have to compromise with their own perceived moral standards as regards dress and dance etc. so as to satisfy the demands of the director of the movie being made.

If that is the intended message, this write is successful.

Additionally, it conveys a message that children land into such difficult times because they don't listen to their parents.

It is a good write, conveying a lot in a few words.

--M C Gupta








136
136
Review of Eyes in the dark  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a nice poem about thieves, referred here as "varmints", which I first thought to be a typo for vermins. However, I learnt from the dictionary that it is a North American informal term for a troublesome animal / person. Thanks for teaching me a new word.

--M C Gupta
137
137
Review of Missing you  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is the "tale" of a woman widowed, remembering her husband. The poem has done full justice to her feelings--

This tale I share will break your heart
Now we are many worlds apart.
You left me here all by myself,
As I set your ashes on a shelf.
my eyes fill with bleary tears
I loved you for so many years.


--Very well written.

--M C Gupta
138
138
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful poem that holds the interest from the word 'go'. It starts with--

What giant birds are these called trees
with feathers in their arms and knees
that flap and flit and flip and flutter
as to the wind they chirp and sputter?
Although they stretch into the sky
they will not, cannot, do not fly.

Only a poet can portray trees and birds. What an unimaginable comparison, one which makes perfect sense as the poem proceeds!

Keep writing.

--M C Gupta
139
139
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is apparently a sort of memoir written about one and a half centuries ago regarding San Francisco. Fed up with the milieu in those days, the writer says--

"I can not support vigilantism of any sort. We leave on the morning tide. I will miss the flavor of this young city. I am sure San Francisco will survive the ashes and horrors that are forthcoming as it goes through it's growing pains."

There was a noticeable gem in this piece--


"Money doesn't purchase water in a desert where only water has value! Class is giving water to a dying man in the desert with no money but with heart! Yours and his........entwined...."


--M C Gupta
140
140
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
The following words appear to me to be written in answer to the question--"Are you a poet?"


Do you see
the hand of God
in the craftsman’s wares
and the workman’s toil?

Do you take note
of the fine detail
of an insect’s wing,
or a leaf’s vein?

The poet shows us
wonders of the world
we pass each day
upon our way.

Do you have
what it takes?

***

It is a wonderful poem, in simple words, describing the nature of a poet. He sees what others don't.

Very well written.
--M C Gupta
141
141
Review of Naukar  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This piece records some ideas that seem to occur to the person here in a haze of memory about someone elder, in an Indian setting. That person is probably the Naukar (servant). That much is clear from the words. However, what exactly is behind those words is not clear. It is the writer's choice to be vague to the extent that she desires.

There are no mistakes.

--M C Gupta
142
142
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a good sonnet with the following comments:

1--It is not easy to comprehend what it is all about. Needs a lot of thinking and imagining. However, that is not a drawback in poetry.

2--Ref: "You're stirred the very core
that gives me every reason to exist."

>>> It expands to -- "You are stirred the very core......"

[This does not make sense. May be you wanted to write--"You have stirred the very core......"

In that case, it should be--"You've stirred the very core......"

--M C Gupta
143
143
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a good sonnet. It meets all the requirements. There are no mistakes of grammar or spelling. As regards--"There are no breaks in its structure because that is how Shakespeare wrote them", I prefer to write my own sonnets with breaks after lines 4, 8 and 12. This is more user friendly and makes for easy readability and comprehension.

The content is rather deep, needing a bit of mental exertion. But that is not a fault. It is just a tribute to your poetic mind and style.

--M C Gupta
144
144
Review of Politician  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
Here is a poem, more like lyrics, that describes in true colours a politician as follows--

He may double talk
That’s his style
When in trouble
Turns and gives a smile
A magician, the politician

***

Ref:

What kind of man will take a stand?
For the peoples rights and demands

>>> people's

--M C Gupta
145
145
Review of FAT IN THE SAND  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a nice poem.The following is quite sarcastic but perfectly true--

We marched into that land
and a war we did wage.
Then we offered our hand
& helped ourselves to center stage


It is rather bad to wound someone, for no reason, and then to dress the wound, claiming credit for the "humanitarian" gesture.

--M C Gupta

=================
146
146
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This small article about time has a catchy title--"If I could bottle time!!!". I wish that was possible:)

You need to be a bit careful about spelling and grammar. For example, you have used 'to' in place of 'too' twice in this write up.

[And my children...well they grew to fast.]

--M C Gupta
147
147
Review of Finding Fagan  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a nice little boys' story regarding hide and seek. Yet, I feel the ferocity displayed here is a bit too much--

"His bloodshot eyes illuminated in the darkness. He could just make out a slight movement coming from the far left corner of the basement. One by one his claws extended.

He let out a ferocious roar and hastened towards a large oak cabinet, which he picked up and discarded as though it was made of cardboard."

This is followed by a highly contrasting-- "“Got you!” cried Wolfgang affectionately scratching his cousin."

SUGGESTION--You might bring down the ferocity a bit.


--M C Gupta
148
148
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This review is for the poem titled "I Stand Amazed".

It is written using the symbols commonly found in Christian poetry

**

"Thank you Lord for the cross You bore,
The one that has my blood mixed with Yours.
Though my sins were black as coal,
You freely came in and cleansed my soul.
And now I stand amazed."

There are no mistakes.

--M C Gupta
149
149
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is quite a witty poem, mainly based on the play of words, but carries a significant message also that we should be rooted in the ground rather than be too lofty and away from reality.

OPENING LINES--

The serpent's point of view?
He preys more than you.
His face is on the ground,
ninety -nine percent of the time.


He's awake, he's preying.


Man is standing upright
the entire course of the day,
yet when does he pray?

--M C Gupta
150
150
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a poem of sadness. It is titled--"AS THE CANDLE SLOWLY MELTS". The title and the content of the poem are fully reflected in the last stanza--

So as this burning mass of wax,
Nears the end of its belt.
My life will soon be over,
As the candle slowly melts.

***

Over all, a good poem.

--M C Gupta
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