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151
151
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a poem of sadness. It is titled--"AS THE CANDLE SLOWLY MELTS". The title and the content of the poem are fully reflected in the last stanza--

So as this burning mass of wax,
Nears the end of its belt.
My life will soon be over,
As the candle slowly melts.

***

Over all, a good poem.

--M C Gupta
152
152
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
It was a pleasure reading this poem. It was written as a pep up message for a young girl by her father. However, I think it has the following beneficial advice for all--

"Remember-
a closed mouth does not get fed.
So tell them what you want-
don't be scared.
Shyness is not a weakness
but it can hold you back."

***

Well written. Write on.

--M C Gupta

====================
153
153
Review of Lost  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an unusual but very strong and emotional poem that conveys its message very well--the message of two persons who love each other but are unable to communicate.

The poem has a tragic end. The opening and end lines are as follows:


Lost

You stand there
staring at me
torn between love and hate,
torturing yourself on the knife edge
of a sword

wanting, needing, desiring,

speechless.

**

until, trembling
you raise a hand
and plunge the knife
deep into your heart,

And I stand there staring –
lost

**************

It is a good poem.

--M C Gupta

154
154
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Sonali ji,

It was a great poetic treat to read your poem. It is just great.

It is 10 years since you joined the WDC and became a moderator pretty soon. You must be one of the few Indian moderators on this site. It is a tribute to your capabilities.

The item under review is flawless, except that, grammatically, shrotaon needs to be changed to shrotao in the first line.

--M C Gupta
155
155
Review of Murli's Fate  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dear Dr. Taher,

This is a wonderful write. You have great writing capabilities.

Only one suggestion--It seems that the fine of Rs. 10,000/- is excessive as per legal conventions / practice.You may like it to be Rs. 2000/-


--M C Gupta
156
156
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an interesting poem about the monster that we have all been afraid of in childhood, who, somehow, seems relevant in this case even during adulthood, forcing the psychologist to render the following advice--

There is no such thing as your monster
Especially not under your bed
It is my opinion that your monster…
Resides only in your head!

***

The poem is well written.

--M C Gupta
157
157
Review of Smell the flowers  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a beautiful small poem with a clear and useful message.

The statement in the poem is--

Life is a Journey.
Along the way,
We may stumble and fall.

***

The message is--

As we pick ourselves up
Remember
that if not for the fall,
We might have missed,
Smelling the Flowers.

*******

Nice thoughts!

--M C Gupta
158
158
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an unusual and beautiful poem with a novel theme, which is reflected in the end as follows:

You want me to chat with you for long,
Why do you say sorry even when I'm wrong?
You've stolen my heart once before.
Are you making me fall for you once more?
What are you up to girl, what are you up to?

I'm trying to make a guess,
figuring out your next move.
What are you up to girl, what are you up to?

****

>>> Trying to make a guess about what women do or think is a venture frought with risks. Good luck!

The poem has a nice flow.
159
159
Review of Are You Famous?  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This item looks like a poem and I will treat it as such even though it is described as prose.


This "poem" raises the interesting question (and also gives the answer)--

More of the same.
Can anyone attain fame?
It's possible, to be sure.

>>> When a writer writes, he does so not to attain fame but to fulfil an inner urge. At least, that is true of me.

***

This "poem" could do with some structural changes in order to give it some flow, which is an essential desirable quality of a poem.

--M C Gupta
160
160
Review of A Needed Friend  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is a pleasure to read this poem. Its structure is immaculate-- abcb rhyme and 8-6-8-6 syllabic rhythm. A good flow is, thereby, inbuilt in the poem.

The description of the poem is short and subtle--"A mom now understood." It serves its purpose well. The description is softly elaborated in the last two stanzas--

The kitchen light, left on at night,
stirred Mom to be aware.
She peered into her daughter's room
to gaze about with care.

The pup perked up, then lay back down
with blanket as a hood;
a child in pink asleep in peace,
a mom now understood.

--M C Gupta
161
161
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This poem is about persons afflicted with suicidal tendencies and addiction to substances, who are not able to communicate with others. It ends with the following poignant words--

A woman talking to herself,
a young child points out.
A child who knows no evil,
just wonders what it’s about.
The mother makes something up
and the child thinks it’s true.
How shocking to the mother
when the child grows up to be you.

SUGGESTION-- It would make for an easy reading if you space your poem by presenting it as stanzas rather than a continuous, non-stop presentation.

--M C Gupta
162
162
Review of OLD AS YOU ARE  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
Dear doctor/author,

Admittedly, English is not your first language. Nor is it mine. Everybody need not have excellent proficiency in every language.But, basic rules have to be adhered to.

This piece is labelled as an essay. An essay consists of sentences and paragraphs. A look at this piece gives an impression that it is a free verse poem, which, of course, it is not.

It is a cardinal rule that every sentence must have a verb. Please look into this aspect. I am quoting just two sentences which do not have a proper verb:


1--One day without tomorrow, weighing the years, hardened as the lead and full of both grief and bitterness.

2--Without proprieties, without family, isolated and neglected, even though your yesterday love and tenderness as radiance let hearts vibrant.


Hope you would not mind my suggestions.

--Dr. M C Gupta

========================


163
163
Review of Suicide  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a wonderful poem. It uses few words, summarised below:


I cry,
I can't speak,
No words,
All alone,
In the morning,
I see no light.

Compare this with the original poem. The effect is vastly increased.

The poem very effectively illustrates the mental condition that precedes suicide.

--M C Gupta

====================
164
164
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is a lovely poem. Being alone in tune with nature can be a godly experience.

Let me assume the hill is near the coast. In that case, it would be fine to add that to the poem--

Up on top the hill so high,
the views so good I begin to cry.
Better it be, when the clouds all flee.
The hill, my dog, the sea and me.

--M C Gupta
165
165
Review of World Pieces  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a nice article telling about the importance of world peace and the reasons for the lack of the same. One of the reasons mentioned is pride (about our possessions). In this connection, the author writes--

"We are living in an age of gross wealth and gross poverty. In the equation lies gross neglect. We are neglecting our fellow man. We are neglecting our duty to humankind and to our immortal souls."

The above is very correct and true. There are two opposite thoughts:

A--Happiness lies in possession of materialistic goods and pleasures. [This is the capitalistic approach based on cosumerism.]

B--Happiness lies in renunciation of materialistic goods and pleasures. [This is the Hindu spiritual philosophic approach based on the belief that the assets of the nature are to be enjoyed by all the humanity and not cornered and enjoyed by a selected few as their personal possessions.]

NOTE--Jesus also preached renunciation--""Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same."


Approach A leads to what the author says--"We are neglecting our fellow man. We are neglecting our duty to humankind."

--M C Gupta

===========================
166
166
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a long account, in poetry , of the sixty years' life experiences of the poet, starting from toddler days, beautifully described as--

A cute toddler, blonde curly hair,
tumbles like a puppy,
dimpled wrinkled knees,
no sense of gravity.
For love, a smile is the key.


Other scenes from later decades follow.

--Well written.

--M C Gupta
167
167
Review of how many Days  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am at a loss trying to summarise the message of this poem. Various stanzas do not connect together, such as:

How many days,
Till the sun stops shining?
How long for the well runs dry?


Stiletto heels chat
Staccato notes of a song
Not really remembered

A flash of Red
Lipstick reveals that she
Is smiling right at me

My coffee is good
Much better than things
I just can't seem to remember.


--M C Gupta

168
168
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a nice poem. The content does full justice to the title--" in the winter of my years". The first stanza itself is a good beginning--


I am in the winter of my years
Where part of me moves slower
Where time seems to speed up
As I just seem to get older.

All the best.

--M C Gupta
169
169
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
I read this peace because of its wonderful title. However, the content appeared to me to be rather disjointed, consisting of several statements, all correct in themselves, but written in a manner that one has to look for meaning behind them. Maybe it is your style and you can't help it. Maybe it is I who have difficulty understanding what you wrote and others maybe OK with it.

--M C Gupta
170
170
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is beautifully built around the concept of the sound of something that is supposed to be silent. The idea of the poem is nicely summarised in the last stanza--

So many are the sounds
Of lonesome
One knows not where
To start
But to me you see
T’will e’er be
The sound of
…A broken heart…

>>> I think it would be better to use the word lonesomeness in place of lonesome.

--M C Gupta
171
171
Review of My Mother's Poems  
for entry "Cats
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a poem / statement about cats by a your mother who wrote it past 80 years of age and is having Alzheimer's disease now. It would be prudent not to analyze / dissect it, except suggesting that --

A cat does not ask for much, only a little love,
to be fed and for house cats, a liter box.

>>> I think you meant litter.

--M C Gupta
172
172
Review of Letting Go  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice poem. The last line comes a bit unexpectedly and suddenly affects the reader's thoughts.


The beauty we saw when walking together
Thought we could do it always and forever
The time has come..I did my best
The time has come..I laid you to rest

***

But you arent here and wont be again

>>> aren't; won't

--M C Gupta
173
173
Review of The Storm  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
It is a nice poem. It was written in 2012. I am surprised it has no rating so far.

It is described as--A parallel between two storms. That is an apt description.

***

When the storm is done with its fury--

"It replaces its smirk with a frown.
It kneels beside her and utters the words,
"I am sorry".

With all the strength she has left,
She utters the word "Okay"."

The above words speak all.

--M C Gupta
174
174
Review of How I long  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is basically a poem of longing--the longing a boy has for the girl. There is nothing unusual about it. But the poem itself is nice. Every poem is unique. The uniqueness of this poem lies in its simple words that flow reasonably well.

Write on.

--M C Gupta
175
175
Review of Deciphering Love  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice poem. It is about how the idea of love changes in a lifetime, from childhood onward. I liked the following particularly--

In innocence, love seemed
Quite a violent thing...
You had a crush, perhaps
You fell in love, and then he
Broke your heart.

Keep writing.

--M C Gupta
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