Greetings and Salutations, Duchess! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.
What I Enjoyed
I enjoyed just about everything in this story! The characters are not only believable, they're relatable as well! I also like the title of the story... it fits perfectly and it's original. The whole story had an air of whimsy to it, almost childlike, and I loved that! Also, I loved the twist at the end where the reader finds out that Andrea's actually an elf herself! I thought that was very creative! Lastly, since an assignment I had for a class here on WDC, I'm always on the look out for overused -ly adverbs and you only have one or two! So great job! That is a sign of a talented writer!!
I only have a couple! First, I think when you're writing sensory details, like the "sound of hammer striking...", the phrase "show don't tell" comes into play. Instead of announcing the sense, sound in this instance, you should write something like, "The loud clank of hammer striking metal..." that way you're allowing the reader to experience the sense for him or herself. Lastly, I think you overused the word, "but" in the first paragraph )3 times in 5 sentences). My suggestion for that is to remove them altogether and write, for instance, "So far, however, all she had seen were...".
Spelling & Grammar:
I didn't find a single mistake!
Overall, I thought this was a well-written piece of fiction genius! I LOVED IT! It was creative, original, and you were able to keep me reading from beginning to end! Excellent job, Duchess! Write on....
"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
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