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616 Public Reviews Given
616 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Ghosthunt  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very short, but got my attention on the first line! The third line made me think that the guard was targeting to shoot the two people hiding. And, the last line, took off the edge! Well done. I believe that you summarized the joke complete when you said there or no ghost yet! Well written. Thank you for sharing.

I have no suggestions for improving this piece.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
My overall impression is that the author addressed the subject matter, and gave the reader a very well written poem. The length of the poem was suitable as well as the rhythm of the poem. I love the topic and believe the author stayed with the topic in the poem. The author also quietly stated a preference for winter while making it clear that there was no great love for summer or spring.

I do not have any suggestions for change.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Who Am I  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your poem. I love the take on "the man in the mirror," and your use of this style of poetry to describe the change that has or is occurring in the man in the mirror. I think at some point in life, we all look into that mirror and frequently do not recognize the person that is staring back at us. Our faces wear some times with distinction our life experiences, while etching our history in our faces. Your poem shares those thoughts. It also begs the question of where were we when all of this happened to us. One day, we just stopped there that person was, and we don't know when the other person left.

Well written. Provocative. I very much enjoyed reading it, and definitely identified with it. I have no suggestions for improving it.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Breathe  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The new review system assigns random poems or pieces to read and rate. I randomly received this one. "Breathe" is a great title for your poem. I actually related to it because it is the kind of poem I would write. I like the simplicity of it and the treatment of the subject matter. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas.

Suggestion: Check your use of punctuation. Even the last line ends in a comma which made me think that something else was coming.

What I also liked was the way you used the words in providing the reader your feelings about breathing, e.g., how it felt and the rhythm of the piece.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Its Just Us  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Even though the piece is short it packs a lot of feelings in it and the person's state of mine. A relationship seems to be at stake and the writer can't say to the other person what was said on paper. Hurt and trust are at stake. My recommendation would be tell the person and get out of the relationship because obviously it is not "just us."

Suggestion: Edit this sentence: ..I don’t like (it) when there…

Thanks for sharing.
Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for taking the time to write a review of this story "Every Day Use." I think you captured the writer's story line. However, I believe that one could see the other side of the story just in the title, i.e., the quilts were or would be put to every day use by Maggie, a simple and plain woman rather than put on display by Dee, a wanna be society type that felt more important than she was or would ever be.

Couple of suggestions:

Insert the word "in." ...can be looked at (in) so many ways.
Rewrite this sentence so that the preposition is not the last word in the sentence. ...little to be proud of.

I also appreciated the brevity with which you summarized the story.

Write on. WRITE ON!

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Shows you what I know bout Stephen King! LOL

It was fun to guess.
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Review of 68 Minutes  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ken, you are the first author that I am reviewing after a very long break. I did not select your piece. It was randomly selected for me, and I AM GLAD that I received the opportunity to read it.

WOW! What great message in such a short piece. I totally identified with the piece. I could almost see the young child walking toward the bus with dread. I could almost hear the jokes, and bad remarks made by those on the bus, and I could certainly feel the quandary that the perceptive child on the bus was going through. How do we stand up for those we know are being emotionally abused? How do we speak out when we ourselves are afraid of retaliation or we have spoken out and made feel less than human?

The writing was good! The message superb! The emotions were in the right place throughout the poem. The poem is definitely a must read for children and adults alike.

Thank you for sharing. Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Writing.Com 101  
for entry "Create/Edit a Book
Review by G. B. Williams
Rated: E | (2.5)
I am as confused about creating my blog as ever. I am going to get this eventually. I really would like to have a blog on WDC.
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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
WOW! Thanks for continuing to write! You are an AUTHOR. You have a story to tell, and you are telling it well. I like the enthusiasm, and the story line.

The story requires a good proofing, but I loved the story. The review is very long and I have sent it to you in an email. I offered lots of suggestions and changes, but remember, IT IS YOUR STORY, and I am only the reader!

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of A Bowl of Wisdom  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Excellent read! Point driven home in a very nice and matter of fact manner. I think we all fall into this category (the know it alls) every now and then. I like how you treated the subject without stating the obvious. I enjoyed the characters you used to illustrate your points. Thank you for sharing.

Not being a grammarian, I thought the story was well written, self-explanatory, and served its purpose, at least with me. One suggestion:

I know they’ll (did you mean there will) be repercussions?

Again, thank you for sharing and write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Lemons  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A description o f life that is easy to read and understand. In my world, they say, when they serve you lemons you get the choice to make lemonade, lemon meringue pie or lemon pound cake. YOUR CHOICE. You laid it out and gave example f how to do that and what the results will be IF YOU choose to stand strong and not let the lemons dictate your being. Nicely done.

Your writing style is interesting, but from my vantage point, I did not see anything that I would change. I quite enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am a western fan, and think your poem tells the story of the good and bad cowboy coming to town. I had a few jerks here and there as I read your poem, but for the most part enjoyed the read. Not sure, I have any concrete suggestions for changes, but I do have a few questions:

1. Did you mean to capitalize tailor? I do not think that it should be capitalized.
2. You used rhyme in almost every line, but missed a few here and there. Why?
3. You tell us Jimmy Thatcher rode into town, but call him J. T. and Jim without warning us that they are the same
4. You also have his horse cinched/hitched before having him (J.T.) spurred in (I understand why, but...) something to think about.
5. Make back ache one word (backache)

Again, thank you so much for sharing!

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I truly liked this poem. Life can be viewed as a board game, and I agree there are no winners or losers just people moving through life at their own pace. It (life) can be very difficult at times, but it (life) can also be very rewarding. I think that we get out of life what we put into it, and to get the best out of it (life), we have to move. We cannot stand still.

Thank you so much for sharing this piece. I enjoyed reading it. I like the fact that you stuck to your title, and then brought in the ending with the idea that there are no winners or losers, just people.

Write on WRITE ON!


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thank you for writing this beautiful story. I enjoyed reading it very much. I have a few suggestions that I hope you will consider.

1. When I was finished tenderly planting the seed(s), I glanced back at the 99 cent pack(,) and slid it under my fathers('s) junk drawer, just in case we needed it again.

2.A few days later, after my father had left early for work, I went over to his shop to surprise him with the doughnut tree(.) My father was so impressed (with the tree and the doughnuts hanging from the tree) that he tasted each one, and they (all) tasted like doughnut made from paradise.

3. How did he start getting respect? Did he start selling the doughnuts in his store?

4. Consider starting a new paragraph with "Business was great for a long time... Do you really mean blogs in this sentence?

I have other suggestions, but will email you with them. Thank you again for sharing your story.

I am rating this a 3.5 because it needs some work, BUT I will come back and rate it again once you re-work it a little, IF I CAN DO THAT. I will check.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Sum Days  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for writing this short story. It is a sad story, but one that is played out every day in our society. The elderly left to be cared for by care givers because families no longer care for their old. It made me sad, but also more appreciative of those who are older and still able to help themselves.

The story has some irony in it, since Phoebe wanted to punish them for how they treated her and for their youth. To be the carrier of the disease and immune to it was also a very good twist to the story since she was counting the days that she had lived. I do have a few suggestions, however, they are ONLY suggestions. It is your story.

They had all grown so (?), from whenever she last saw them.

She hoped he was eating properly, now (that) Enid, his wife was gone.

The(y) result(ed), in the fine people her sons and…

She wanted to tell Ginger that, (consider deleting one that) that it would be(,) all right.

…smile like he's done me a favour." (favor is preferred, I believe)

...gravely ill and in (the) hospital,

…meals for you?". (Check your punctuation here)

…one a.m.. (Delete one period)

“Now, what would you like for tea? (?) I could do some sausages and veges (veggies), would you like that?”

Alison is off sick (,) too (,) now.

"Are you going to give me a check up?” (checkup)

“…and we realized (realized, I believe is preferred)…

Again, thank you for sharing.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
InviSiBle tHiNg, I felt blissful and happy at the beginning of the writing, and tearful and ready to cry at the ending. I felt that the ending would be about the death of someone, but did not see our particular ending coming. It is a great piece and I love the dedication. It also made me think of my granddaughter who is living in New York and just got her first job and feels like she is on top of the world. I am always in contact with her because I am old enough to know that things happen and they are not always good things.

After reading your piece twice, I wanted to share it with her, but thought better of it.

There were a few bumps in the writing, but I attributed them to your style, and left them alone.

Thanks so much for sharing, and I promise to read more.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Which is Worse?  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your ending was the best. I am not sure I agree on which is worse, but I get the message. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject. The rhyme is good. Sentence structure is good, and the message is clear. I also do not believe that there will be a cure for apathy. LOL

Your poem is interesting and well written, but takes an interesting turn at the end by actually offering suggestions for addressing boredom.

Thanks again.

Write on. WRITE ON!



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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Now, that is funny. It is or could be a true story about me, but I don't have a husband, just a lot of grands that I periodically go to the movies with. They know I am lousy about keeping up with my keys, and they will just stand and watch me search my purse, coat, and everything else, and then laughingly give them to me. My son put them on a rope and hung them around my neck. Since then, I have done much better. Great writing. Short and sweet. Too the point, and had me laughing on my seat.

Thanks for sharing. No offers of improvement. Great poem.


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Short interesting and expresses my feelings about rhyming. Poems that do not rhyme are often more interesting to me, and presents me with the opportunity to determine if it is better because it does not rhyme. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic.

Thank you for sharing.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of You Are,,,  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love the passion in the poem and believe that is just how memories are made, one at a time with or without the love of your life. In your case love appears to be just what the doctor ordered and is within your hand.

I enjoyed the read, and was intrigued by the format. No suggestions at all for the written piece. Personally, I loved it. Thank you very much for sharing.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Thank you for sharing your short story. I believe that you have a story to tell about how you grew up, the conditions under which you grew up, and pain your are suffering because you feel guilty for speaking the truth as a child about your life and living conditions.

Suggestions: Review what you have written. Check your spelling and grammar. Look up words and their meanings so that you use the correct word, example you use were for where at least twice. See some of the corrections made in the first few lines below:

Life Through My Eyes
Imagine growing up going from house to house not knowing were (where) you'll be next, (.) w(W)ell that was me at 8 (eight) years old. I have a(n) older brother and two sisters(,) but i(I) really didn't see my older brother and sister(.) i(I)t was just me and my little sister. Well(,) let me start from were (where) (it) begins,(.) m(M)y mother is and(an) alcoholic which means alcohol is her life she drinks it...

Also check your spacing through out the document. Note that spell check will not fix some of the words, if they are spelled correctly.

Again, thank you for sharing and good luck on your writing endeavors.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Products.  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Love the irony in your poem about where we are as a people. We have got into going along to get along, and to allow politicians and others to do just about anything they please. We put a price on things, but no value on human life. A sad state of affairs. You got my attention, and I appreciated the way you handle the message.

One suggestion: Become(s) more mature, I know. Not being a grammarian, I think man is singular and therefore become requires the "s."

Thank you for sharing and write on. WRITE ON!


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Review of Chlorine  
Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Thank you for sharing this piece. I admit that it has several interesting twist, but actually give rise to thoughts about why you named it Chlorine. It is well written, and shares storylines that are clear and good.

Had a suggestion: But Time's (lower case t) hardening always strikes.

Write on. WRITE ON!


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Review by G. B. Williams
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
First thank you for a well written piece with examples and explanations of what, how, and why for doing or not doing something when trying to get someone to accept and read an article or book that you are seeking to publish. I have not dared to dream that big about my writing, but was very glad to see what you wrote about this topic.

Secondly, I learned something from your piece about caps, bolding, and exclamation points. I thought using them helped to bring emphasis to a particular part of the letter or written word. Glad for another opinion from someone in the field.

Finally, I found that the writing style was good and straight forward. Overall, very informative. Thank you.
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