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1,743 Public Reviews Given
2,630 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I give honest and friendly reviews. I try to be as helpful as I can.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, comedy
Favorite Item Types
short stories, poems, activities, images
I will not review...
I will review up to 18 content ratings.
Public Reviews
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201
201
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your forum.

*Exclaim* Hello again! *Smile*
I stopped by your guest book the other day to sign it, but I didn't get a chance to give it a review and some stars until now.

Gosh, this is much more than a guest book, because you told us some things about yourself in the heading. Guest books are always nice, since it gives your visitors a place to 'check in'. I enjoyed yours, because of it's terrific heading.

I was really impressed. You didn't say which country you live in now, but you did mention that you've been to 22 countries! My son and his wife live moved to England about 3 years ago. They're trying to visit all of Europe while they're over there, but I think it will be a long while before they get up to 22!

It's also impressive that you speak 5 languages fluently. I have a hard time trying to learn Spanish, so I know that's not an easy thing to do. *Smile*

I liked the way you spoke about yourself, your family, and WDC. It completed the personal feel of your guestbook. I hope your mom is feeling well.

I recognized lots of names in the posts, so I can see that you made many friends here in the three and a half years you've been a member. *Smile*


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by Maryann


A party hat divider

202
202
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

I'll be sending you a few reviews as 'gift 10' of my package from "A Dozen Delights Auction. Thanks again for participating.

*Exclaim* “Mom, said you would be showing off your diamond collection today!” Oh my gosh! You really had me cracking up! That was so unexpected, as I had no clue that this story would be so funny!

I think you captured the innocence of a young child's personality well in this captivating story. I could certainly picture a boy crashing his parents dinner party, and blurting out secret things which he had overheard. How would he know that these conversations shouldn't be repeated? ...And then the books! So funny! *Laugh*

I think you succeeded in putting together a great scenario. You're readers get a glimpse at a typical family day, where the dad came home and mentioned that the boss and his wife were coming for dinner. The couple's son had been watching TV instead of doing his homework. Later on, the dinner guests arrived. This all seemed believable and was written in a way which held my attention.

I can't really find anything to fix in this story. The only little things I thought of which might improve it, would be to change words such as, I will to I'll. I normally wouldn't expect a husband to speak so formally when he's talking to his wife in a casual setting.


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by Maryann


Party balloons

203
203
Review of Useful Software  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Unratable.)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Confettio**Confettib*HAPPY 12TH BIRTHDAY WDC*Confettigr**Confettiy*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your article.

*Partyhatr* Hi The StoryMaster ! *Smile* I wanted to take this moment to give you a great big THANK YOU for giving us the opportunity to have so many fun years on our wonderful site. Without you, this little 'world' of ours wouldn't be possible.

So, I don't know how I missed this little article of yours, but it holds a wealth of helpful information. I'll definitely be sharing this with my husband, so we can make sure we have our computers up to date with good safety and tools.

I like the clear explanations, as well as the handy links, for firewalls and anti-virus protection. It also might come in handy to use that file transfer program and the compression program, too. *Smile*

I'll add this to my favorites, in case you ever decide to add more links to this article. *Smile*


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by Maryann


A party hat divider
204
204
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your article.

*Exclaim* You presented terrific thoughts in this nice article. Your last line sums that up well, and gives this item perfect closure: "...thinking helps rather than hinders action."

You wrote this in a very pleasant way, which kept my interest and had me reading on. It makes me happy to know that in our modern world, we still have people like you, who are always thinking of ways to make our world better. *Smile*

One thing which I noticed about your article which would improve the look of it would be in creating a more airy feel throughout the lines. Right now, it has the look of one block of words. Defining your ideas into small paragraphs, and skipping lines between those paragraphs will make your article more reader friendly.

In addition, you might go back and reread the article, checking for tiny typos. In one case, you capitalized, 'Organization', in the middle of a sentence. Somewhere else, you left lots of spaces between words. A polished look will give this great article the finish it deserves. *Smile*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your real life story.

*Exclaim* Oh my gosh, Lesley! I was on the edge of my seat, reading your very intense story! You're not afraid of any animal... Not even a huge alligator.

Just today, I saw on the TV that an alligator wrestler almost lost his hand, and the other day, a tour guide actually did lose his hand. You came close to losing your head! But you really knew just what you were doing, and I'm sure that impressed that retired marine officer.

It's impressive that you were am animal control officer. I always enjoyed watching Steve Erwin or Billy the exterminator relocate animals like gaters on TV. You did this in real life.

I could picture a hundred pound young lady moving a big alligator out of the road. You know all about them. I wouldn't have guessed that big 'Junior' was only trying to get back to where he used to live.

I never thought about alligators as living dinosaurs. I learned a lot from your well written story, and I'm impressed at all the work you've done with animals and all of the knowledge you have of them. Thanks for sharing. *Smile*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
206
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Exclaim* Hi Cait! Happy Anniversary month! *Smile*

I really enjoyed reading your poem. It reminds me of a day in a few of the most wonderful parks I've ever been in. I was just talking with my husband yesterday about a dull park in my area. It's like a waste of space. There's really nothing in it. I would love for it to be just like the park you described in your poem.

I could really picture all that was going on in the poem you wrote. There were dogs playing, teens laughing, lovers kissing, old men talking, people skating and riding bicycles - Gosh, you didn't leave anything out!

I really enjoyed the 'colors' of the sights you described. I could imagine the colorful balloons, and the green of the grass.

I would have liked to know more about this contest. You have some words in bold type. Is there a link which you might be able to add at the bottom? If not, perhaps you might write a brief description of the prompt and why certain words are in bold.

If you do go back in to edit, it might be a good idea to add a genre or two. Right now, you have 'other' for the only genre. When I search genres, I normally don't look under 'other'. You might receive more views if you fill in the three choices.

Other than that, if this were my poem, I would center it and add some colors. It's such a pretty poem.
Thanks for sharing it! I hope it did well in that contest!


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
207
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your cNote shop.

*Exclaim* Happy Account Anniversary month, Shelley! *Smile*

Wow! This cNote shop really is enchanting! I'll have to see if this is already in my favorites, because this is one I'd like to keep handy. You really have a large variety of unique cNotes. I could have used a couple of them yesterday! LOL

My favorite is the really cute pink one, which reads, "My Wish to You". It's really sweet and different.

I also like that you have thank you's for reviews and one just because. You also included Congratulations, get well, and much more. I love the fairy and unicorn theme. The colors are beautiful and the shop is set up well.

Nice work in the variety of prices, too. With prices from 600 to 1000, there's something there for everyone. *Smile*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
208
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Review of Angry Elk Attack  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* Oh my gosh, Lesley! You battled a wild elk which was bigger than a horse! Wow! You're a brave one for sure!!

You had mentioned a gator to me, so I was curious to see your animal stories. This one struck my interest because I had been away for a trip around the United States not too long ago, and I remember seeing a heard of wild Elk along the roadside. Several cars pulled over to take pictures, so my husband and I did, too. The large animals were close enough to get some pretty nice pictures, even with my small pocket camera.

I love the way you wrote this story. It was captivating from the beginning to the end. I had no idea where it was going...You took the tractor on what seemed like a routine trek to feed the animals, and then a bull elk decided that he didn't like you around very much!

It must have been very scary to be all alone and in need of thinking fast to save your own life. You added in a large amount of intense suspense into this well written story. I wondered how you would get out of that bad situation.

Gosh, after you got out of it - Shook up, but alright - You still felt okay with the elk's behavior...Feeling that he was only doing what was natural behavior for him. I like the way you ended the story, with a caution for people to be careful around unpredictable wild animals. You even told how they differed from domestic animals. Nice work, Les! *Smile*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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Review of The Beach  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* I enjoyed reading your very inspirational story. While it was sad and heartwarming, it had a great, upbeat moral to it.

I'll have to admit, I didn't expect to read those words as they unfolded...They actually gave me goosebumps...

Last week, my beloved dog died. That was more than I could bear, as so much else has been going on in my life...This was the first Father's Day without my dad...Etc. etc... I don't have a beach nearby, but I took a walk deep into the woods by myself. I ended up just sitting down on a log, uncaring about any of my surroundings..I just needed to be alone.

I could relate to the narration about sitting on a beach in the rain and cold...Just crying until her eyes were rimmed with red and the tears couldn't even fall anymore. ...The need to be alone...Not wanting to show weakness or pain.

I could really feel the emotion of the words in your story. I didn't see any errors, even though the average rating you received so far doesn't show perfection. I guess you've done much editing and polishing because I thought it was great. *Smile*
Bravo for all of the great time and effort you put into this story.

What a great scenario...A sea gull moves on to tend to the loved ones who are with him now, rather than dwell on the past. The small bird was an inspiration to the woman in the story, and he helped her feel better and stronger. I also thought it was a good idea not to go into details about the loss, but rather to keep it sort of vague and general instead. Great job with putting this story together. *Smile*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* Hi Pen, and welcome to Writing.Com. *Smile*

Wow! What an intense story you put together! That sure was scary to read!

You expressed a sense of paranoia. I liked how your narration mentioned watching a movie, and then imagining paranormal activities afterward. Your readers get a glimpse into the narrators mind, and understand his fear and confusion.

Now, I'd like to suggest going back to edit your item. You already have the base of the story, but it has the appearance of a rough draft which needs to be finished.

You might start by leaving space in between paragraphs. Right now, it looks like one huge block of type. Did you notice how I left space in between my thoughts and ideas in this review? Your story will have a more inviting look if you do the same.

After you define the paragraphs, you could then go back and eliminate all of the abbreviated words. For example, in your brief introduction, you wrote: "no..!!! it can travel into ur mind...!!!"

While that brief introduction screams hints of suspense, the word 'your' should be spelled out. When we pick up a book to read a novel, words are always spelled out. Shortcuts of that nature are inappropriate in great stories and fine writing. You have the makings of a great story. You can do simple and little things to improve it. *Smile*

The spelling can also be improved. You can easily do this by putting the story into a spell checker. You will notice immediately which words are spelled incorrectly.

You can also improve the areas where capitalization is necessary.

Those little things distract from the good story within. You have creative ideas. With a small bit of effort, your good story will shine through. *Smile*


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by Maryann


Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers
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Review of CANT SHED A TEAR!  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*Exclaim* Nice work, Dena, in writing this bittersweet poem. I can feel all of the emotion which you poured into it.

You certainly did succeed in expressing the heartache and frustration one feels from the pain of sorrow. You wrote how one cries and cries until they are so broken, and can't cry anymore. Your readers will relate to this and understand your poem for sure. *Smile*

I would suggest changing the brief introduction. That's what someone sees while scrolling through items in hopes of finding something which appeals to them.

You wrote: "fixed it up so itll be better!! PLEASE REVIEW!!"

Why not give a hint of your poetic talents instead? I love the line.."Did I run out of tears in my tear bank?" I would put that in the brief introduction instead of what you have now.

Now, as for the look of the poem...

When I text, I type quick little thoughts and I don't bother with anything like apostrophes or punctuation.

Your entire poem looks the way my phone texting does.

I would suggest going back to Capitalize all of the small letter 'i's and everything else which needs capitalization, such as in this example: "i give up trying to cry"

Also, I would add appropriate apostrophes, such as in this example: "to the point where i cant cry anymore"

Nice work putting poetic thoughts together. Polish it up a bit more, as it deserves. *Delight*


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by Maryann


Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers
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Review of I Miss You  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a tribute to a person's deceased Grandmother.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Your poem touched my heart, since I lost my father in November. We were very close, and I thought I'd have him in my life for many more years. This was the first Father's Day without him, and I sensed an empty feeling. My condolences to you for your lost Grandmother. Losing someone is never easy.

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't notice any errors. Nice work in putting this one together.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I enjoyed the simplicity of your poem. It was delicate, yet it said a whole lot.

You succeeded in expressing the tender thoughts you always feel when you see something that reminds you of your beloved Grandma. You see a girl with her Grandma, and you remember yours. You tenderly keep her memory close to your heart.

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: You wrote this well. I wouldn't change a thing. The only suggestions I might add, would be to perhaps spark the item with centering, font, or color. Nice work! *Smile*

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by Maryann


Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION:This is a poll about historical fiction.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Hello Jali! I liked the idea of your poll. It's definitely a poll which I haven't seen here on WDC.

I've added a bit of history to my writing from time to time. I think it adds to 'realness'. I normally don't read war stories because they usually make me sad, but I took your poll and I chose Colonial. I always find anything 'colonial' fascinating.

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't come across any errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I think you did a good job in thinking of all the choices. After taking the poll, I can see that the votes are mostly all spread out. Congratulations on receiving seven votes already! *Smile*

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: You might consider adding more to the item body before the choices. For example, you could write a line about each choice. This way, those taking the survey who aren't too familiar with history could get a quick refresher of what's involved in each. Right now, you just have one short line. Adding a bit more will make the poll even that much better. *Smile*

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by Maryann


A very colorful shared sig for review raids
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Review by Maryann
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup*


Review for Joy in conjunction with prize won at "Invalid Item

*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a Kyoka style of poetry about a whale being stranded in an England river.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Wow! What a whale of a tale! *Wink*
I'll have to look this up on the internet because this is something that doesn't happen everyday. I'm curious to learn more about it.

My son and his wife live in London, so I've been to the Thames area many times. It's mindboggling to picture a whale in there! Wow!

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors. I hope you did well in the contest. *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: It was a great idea to add a bit of information about the true event. The bit about how you didn't mean anything bad about the whale was a good idea, too, as we never know what goes through people's heads. *Smile*

I never heard of this style of poetry. I'm glad you also gave an explanation about that.

I'll have to admit, I couldn't help but giggle at the possible reasoning behind the whales' visit to England. Maybe he did want to see some royalty...Or ride on a double-decker bus! LOL That gave your poem a gentle playfulness.

I liked the structure of the poem, which you kept to well. It added to the pleasant style.

The story-poem went on to tell the tale of how the events changed to a darker, more tragic scene. I'm glad the rescuers tried to do what they can to help the whale. They would have all been viewed as heroes had the whale survived. ...Had that been the case, I could picture children's stories, nursery rhymes and movies reenacting the event. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


An animated review sig
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Review of Vegas, Anyone?  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* I liked the way you opened your story by comparing parenting to a Vegas crap shoot. A bold statement like that entices your readers to read more. Tying this into the ending brought perfect closure. You also made your city of Provo sound quite beautiful.

I thought your style of raising questions throughout the story was very creative. Those questions provoked thought without distraction, since you also clearly provided reasoning with your ideas. I felt that you showed a good example of why parenting can't be inherited, since parenting experiences differ between mothers, grandmothers, etc.. Nice work.


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Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  [E]
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This sig shines
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* I'll have to say that I didn't know what to expect when I clicked on this story. It was a pleasant surprise to read a well-written and entertaining story which was so outside the box! Writing a 'parenting' story about the parenting of a Basset Hound is certainly creative writing.

I was cracking up through your whole amusing story...Especially because I had a Basset Hound years ago. I think your Boo is much smarter than my Aggie had been!

I loved all the cute poo words! LOL

I could picture her bolting while you were trying to hold the leash and clean up the poo in the middle of the street! ...So funny!



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Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  [E]
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This sig shines
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* This is a great tribute to your wonderful mom. Parenting isn't always easy, but your family seemed to have lots of love through good times and bad. All of that helps to make the parenting a very rewarding experience. You turned out okay, so your mother's hard work paid off.

I never heard of Asperger's Syndrome, so your entry actually taught me something about it. Now you have a story written, which will be a keepsake. Your mother will be honored, and your readers will learn about the syndrome.

It must have been tough for your mother to raise you and your brothers alone. You all sound as though you've been through a lot. Through it all, you've all stayed strong and bonded.

I enjoyed the inspirational and upbeat tone of your story. I hope many WDC members will get to read it for the Mother's Day season.


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This sig shines
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Review of our miracle  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* I agree with your brief introduction -- It shouldn't have happened that way. I often wonder why an event which should have a normal outcome, takes an unexpected turn. I guess no one can figure that out...

One sign of a story which was written so well, is that it can bring tears to a person's eyes. I don't think a person can keep their eyes so dry when they read your story.

The loss of little Caleb was so awful for Rachel and Ed, and for you, too! I can't imagine even little Danny and Hayley not thinking about their brother, even when they grow to adults. Thanks for sharing this tender story.


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Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
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This sig shines
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Review of Dear Fear  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim*. You wrote a dynamic story. I could clearly imagine the fearful little boy who hides under the blankets at night.
I'm so glad the story had a happy ending.

Writing a letter to 'Fear', was a creative way to express a painful childhood and the bad parenting of a father.

I think all children have a movie or two which added a bit of fear to their lives. Many have experienced the teasing of an older brother who becomes skilled at scaring his siblings.
You brought back those memories.

It's great that you learned from these experiences, so that you can now be a good parent in your adult life. It's also fantastic that you and your brother found peace with each other. Thanks for sharing.


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Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
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This sig shines
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim*. Thanks for sharing your nice article about grammar and grammar apps for children. There is such a wealth of learning tools available today. My youngest child has entered her twenties. I had to work with her and her three older siblings without the use of electronics. Now, there is a wide variety of ways to teach and learn.

You made a good point that there are games in which children can learn grammar. As you mentioned, children benefit in many ways when they learn grammar at an early age. It makes sense that parents take advantage of all the fun and modern ways that children can be taught. I hope your article will bring these great ideas to light for other caring parents. *Smile*


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your image.

*Exclaim* Hi Aunt Dottie! *Smile* I don't stop by your port often enough. I'll have to change that. *Bigsmile*

Gosh, I gave this image to you a few years back. I remember that you love images of cats so much. This one reminded me of you - majestic and elegant. You are an amazing woman, and this cat certainly is perrrrrrrrrfect for you. *Laugh*

Happy Mother's Day, Aunt Dottie! I'm proud to be your niece, and I love you lots! *Heart*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your cNote shop.

*Exclaim* ...Put them all together and they spell mother! You have a great cNote collection here, indeed. *Smile*

I love all of the wonderful Mother's Day cNotes you put together. I hope these get a lot of use this weekend.

I like how you have a big variety of them...Ten in all. The frog hopping over the turtle is my absolute favorite!! I think I'm going to send that one out right now...

I also enjoyed seeing the list at the top. Gosh, you have a lot of shops! I'll have to remember that! *Bigsmile*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*Exclaim* Hi Sherri! I enjoyed reading your touching poem. It's a great tribute to your beloved mother. I too, lost my mother. I lost mine over 20 years ago, so it almost seems like a dream. I lost my dad at this past holiday time, so I know how hard the holidays can be when we face them without our loved ones.

I think you did a fine job with this tribute to your mom. The tender way you expressed the pain of the loss, and the joy of how she lives on in your heart is really sweet. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your cNote collection.

*Exclaim* Oh my gosh! This is the collection I've been looking for! Great Mother's Day cNotes, Kiya! I'm going to send one to my Aunt Dottie. *Bigsmile*

I think the one about the flower garden is the one I'll send..."If I had a flower for each time I thought of you, I'd be walking in a flower garden..." That's just beautiful!

All of your cNotes are beautiful, too. I don't know anyone who is graduating right now, but your graduation cNotes are nice. I hope they get lots of use. *Smile*

Oh...The poems at the top are a great opening to this collection. When you do something, you do it right! *Bigsmile*


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by Maryann


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Review of Savaged  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your book.

*Exclaim* Hi Misty! As I told you, I printed it out, and I was finally able to read it. Great job in creating the interesting and exciting plot in the chapter entries you have so far. *Smile*

The first entry seemed very suspenseful. I especially enjoyed the chase scene. The second entry told a different tale. It seemed to be a detective/mystery story.

I'm curious as to how the two entries tie together. You didn't offer your readers any clues. The first entry could have been a science fiction story, with talk of beasts and alpha-sires. The next entry almost seemed as though the setting took place in a totally different place or time.

Your readers will guess that one of the babies grew into a man in the second part, but there seems to be something missing. Will you explain more as the story goes on? If not, it might be a good area somewhere in the talk about Ryan's childhood in foster care to say which baby it was...Your readers know that one was hidden in a hallow log, and the other had been turned in by the hunter. You might explain which was which...

Is it your plan to keep jumping back and forth between the two time-lines?If not, perhaps you might add more closure to the first entry. Your readers are left wondering if Daniella's husband ever found any of his children, or what became of that. It was hinted in the second entry that Ryan had special abilities, but after that much of the story, your readers still aren't sure where the story is going. I think that more of a tease or hint about what's going on will encourage your reader's to read the future entries from that point. Right now, all they know is that he's a cop in an anger management class.
I realize that you don't want to give away too early on, but it's also great to spark a promise of the thrilling excitement yet to come...

I'm thinking that a short introduction before the story begins in the first entry would clear some things up... A man is determined to be a good cop, despite the fact that he has werewolf abilities. Little does he know that twenty-five years earlier he had been brought to a fire-house, rescued by a kind hunter...Then, you would begin the story.

You have an amazing story, I could picture this turning into a big hit, so I'd really like to see you polish it up.

Here are some other points to fix...Little things, such as typos...

I noticed that you already fixed some things and left some space between your paragraphs since I last printed out your story. This is great! It looks good, but I would still go back and break some of the longer paragraphs a bit more. Each new idea might be a different paragraph.

Also, Some of your sentences are still a bit long, while others could be combined. Here is an example of one which could be combined:

"They weren’t her business. Until she met Maggie."

The following seems very confusing, because it seems to be repeated, and very similar sentences. I think you can redo this part, by combining and eliminating lots of it...
"She marched on. It was still dark but still breaking dawn when she heard a russling sound. She tried to ignore it. Thinking it was just a childish imagination getting to her. She continued to mark until it had gotten louder but she ignored it; until it turned into a growling rumble. She thought it might have been just her stomache; since it was almost sun up and she or her babies had not eaten since dinner last night. She was surprised that they had been so quiet; she assumed that they were nuzzled asleep.
The sky was twilight gray, the dawn near breaking when she heard a rustling sound in the trees. She tried to ignore it, telling herself that this was the woods after all and was likely just an animal looking for nuts or berries or something in the snow to eat. The sound only got louder, still she ignored until she heard a low, growl rumbling in the bushes. She thought it might have been her stomach as she nor her children had eaten in hours. She was surprised at how quiet they had been, assuming they had fallen asleep."


Change:
"The hustle toward him and stretched her arm in the air." ('She hustled', rather than, 'the hustle'.)

And:
"He raised his gu as she ran..." (gun)

Also:
"...pushing her out of the ward hard." (way)

Might sound better another way...
"She was soaked with blood and by the way her neck was turned, and the fact that she wasn’t breathing that she was dead."

I came across similar little things you might fix in the next chapter.
Here, I would change 'notice' to 'noticed'...
"He notice a small crease in the middle of her crystal light brown eyes..."

This line, "Mr. Savage to telephone calls during sessions.”, would read better as something like, "Mr. Savage, no calls are allowed during sessions."

"...this had only agitated him more than he already."...Could instead be, "...this had only agitated him more than he already was."

Here you wrote: "Surprisingly, Ryan found a close parking space and went toward the police tape the scrolled the crowd for Aaron, his partner." Maybe you might change that to, '...then scrolled the crowd for Aaron...'.

Here:
"I let you know when you get here! Where are you?” Might be, 'I'll let you know...'.

This is another example of a sentence which could be combined:
"The chief had a small quaint office with wall the color of pea soup. Something new the chief was trying out." Maybe you might write, 'The chief, who was always working on new ways to improve his small, quaint office, recently had it painted the color of pea soup'.

Here:
"Funny I thought you would be more hysterical about this. You are taking it will” ('well', rather than 'will')

This is an example of a sentence which is way too long:
" Angela was the icing on the cake, because as long as Lawrence had Angela, he could control Ryan, now Angela was obviously not playing by the rules, and although she was oblivious to Ryan’s double life, and since he could not get to her, she was in grave danger and there was nothing that he could do from a jail cell." I would break that up into two or three different sentences.

Typo:
"He had nowhere to run to ad nowhere to hide." ('...nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide.')

I hope you'll fix these few tiny little things, so that your awesome story will flow smoothly without distractions. It's a great story, and it deserves the little attention to polish it up. *Delight*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
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by Maryann


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