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139 Public Reviews Given
145 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style is more on the technical side of things and the theme of your story. I want to feel what is happening to the characters and be able to see their motives. However, I will look if there are grammar or structure issues and depending on the errors, the review will be longer and more detailed. I am honesty driven and I will provide feedback, but it will not be cruel. Everyone deserves feedback on their work, after all, it’s what makes writers thrive and keep going.
Favorite Genres
Psychological, dark, drama, fiction, non-fiction, narratives, and poetry
Least Favorite Genres
Horror
Favorite Item Types
Prose, essays, poems, and short stories
I will not review...
Novels, long chapters, anything overly explicit, and long essays.
Public Reviews
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26
26
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The symbolism is this is wonderful. The punctuation is not completely correct but it is okay. I would also change the wording of the eighth stanza but that is just me. The tone is good, as it goes well with the theme. Keep writing!

Ex of punctuation:
I fell into the Darkness Sea
To never rise again;
Slipped beneath those shadowed waves,
And let the darkness win.
I gave myself into the cold,
Let myself begin to drift.
I should have fought to stay afloat
Instead the swift waters
Pulled me under, deep below.
27
27
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a good poem but I have a suggestions. One, punctuation. You don’t have the correct punctuation in a few spots and it loosens the flow. Two, the style. This could just be me so you don’t have to take this one as valued as much but it doesn’t go well. Do not get me wrong, I liked the tone and the visuals this brought forward though. These are just a few improvements.

1st Ex: Listen everyone the show must go on
Until the audience is finally gone.
We must sing and we must dance;
Revealing more than what appears at first glance.

The first line is okay, it has no errors. A few others however, do. The second line needs a period as is it ending a sentence while the third is okay. I tried to outline the other things I saw down below but if something doesn’t make sense feel free to email me.

2nd Ex: Listen everyone the show must go on
Until the audience is finally gone
We must sing and we must dance
Revealing more than what appears at first glance.

Masks and costumes,
Doors to painted rooms;
We are the entertainers,
The lions and the tamers.

We are what's on offer
We are their chauffeurs.
War and love,
Peaceful white doves.

All an illusion to keep them enthralled,
To keep their vision closed and walled.
Death looms ominously on everybody
To keep them distracted is our duty.

The show must go on even after our death;
We must entertain them until their final breath.

The poem would flow better if you separated the stanzas more, but as I said, this is just my opinion. I hope this helps! Keep writing.
28
28
Review of Writing.Com 101  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This helps.
29
29
Review of Love does not Use  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is good. I like the perspective and the way it’s written reminds me of the debates I’d have with an old friend. I don’t see any problems with punctuation except with commas. You use commas quite a bit in this and it messes up the flow. Oh, it might look okay but when you say it out loud you notice the difference.

Ex: But, how does history repeat itself?

Keep writing!
30
30
Review of The Why's  
Rated: E | (4.5)
An interesting perspective. I like it, and welcome to the community! You’re a good writer. Keep writing!
31
31
Review of Along The Way...  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is good, but I have a few suggestions. In the seventh stanza, you write “and yet...suddenly” that doesn’t flow correctly, as you have two words that should indicate something happening due to another and another connecting word. You also have “...” in the eighth stanza, but it isn’t needed. I understand you want emphasis but you can italicize the word or something else instead of adding that.
32
32
Review of still here  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Inspirador. This story is good, and makes me think about my own beginning, even if it was not as scary. There a few complications in this though. One, the tv show you named need to be in quotation marks. Two, the sentence after that need a comma. Three, the third sentence in the first paragraph needs a space after the colon. There are also a few more spaces that need commas and spaces. I hope that helped!
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Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
How interesting. ¿Dónde estás ahora? The resolutions I mean. I must say, the creativity shown here is different than most. It’s good. Seguir escribiendo!

P.S Yes, I know that is French, but why not mix languages eh?
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Review of The Zombie Diner  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This poem is good. It reminds me of the brilliance of Edgar Allen Poe and his skill with morbid humor. My only suggestion is in the six stanza, second line. You write, “Her ghastly smile, a grin.” Because you have already included “a smile”, the word grin is not needed. The reader knows what the horrid creature is doing; there is no need for a repetition of imagery. Other than that, it’s wonderfully written and I hope to see more.
35
35
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This story is interesting and I like it but I do have a suggestion. When writing, try and not explain every action taken. It leads nothing for the reader to speculate and draw conclusions about for themselves.

Ex: The grinning fiend was silent for a moment before explaining, "Ten-thousand soles were lost--they say a heel started it!"

You explained what the reaper was doing, and that wasn’t needed. Keep writing though, this is a great story! I hope this helps!
36
36
Review of Cinderella Story  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the idea of this; LGBT+ youth should be supported, as well as any child. My only qualm with this story is the punctuation. You use capital letters when you shouldn’t and the repetition makes it slightly harder to read. There are also places where the words are messed together, instead of having a space to separate them.
37
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Review of Invisibility  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (1.5)
This has potential, but there are a few things that need to be fixed. One, the punctuation. When using commas, make sure they are directly after the word. That makes it easier for the reader to follow along and not get confused on what is happening. Two, repetition. You have a few sentences that are repeated and it makes it clunky. The reader is more likely to skip down instead of reading those because it gets boring to read the same thing over and over. One other thing I noticed with the structure is how some of your sentences are fragments. I included a few examples from your story down below to help.

1st Ex: “To see the happinness in others without jealousy , to see the opportunities to engage , to make it all the way to the library . Maybe one day , I wont feel invisible. Maybe one day , I will find peace. Maybe.”

*Note: That fits both the comma problem and repetition.

2nd Ex: “Quite a feat for me these days!”

*Note: Fragment

I hope this helps! Keep writing.



38
38
Rated: E | (2.5)
This is an interesting short, but there are a few things you can do improve it. First, the beginning isn’t complete. It starts off in a way that leaves the reader confused on what is happening. It is about when you weren’t able to smile, but this doesn’t highlight that very much. Fear, yes. Inability to smile, or feel happiness, not much. Second, eliminate the repetition. It makes the viewer less inclined to read on if they have to read the same thing over and over. Third, your sentences aren’t complete. There are a few that have been written as fragments and need to be corrected. But other than that, this shows promise. I can relate to it, and I’m sure many others can as well. Keep at it :)
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Review of The GSA Groupchat  
Rated: E | (2.5)
For this, the premise is interesting and I like the GSA idea. An old school of mine never would have allowed that, but the problems arise in this when you’re introducing the story and who is talking. In the beginning, it’s not very well structured. You throw us into this text-chain without any motion of who is talking or why. Yes, their names are there, but who are they? Why are they in this? What’s the hostility between Gus and Tom? He’s a jock, but why does equal a reason for bias. After all, he’s the same as them, except straight. My point is, if you don’t provide context, assumptions can be made and it makes it harder for the reader to fully understand what you are trying to portray.
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40
Review of Shrine Maiden  
Rated: E | (3.0)
The premise is interesting, but who is this about? It’s not clear. This story would be an awesome one for fans of Pokémon and other assorted games/shows but it is lacking in its continuity and structure. I’m sure this will be a very good work when those errors are fixed, and make sure you keep at it!
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Review of Keep me safe  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this. It is thought provoking, interesting, and written it way it that it doesn’t seem inexperienced.
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