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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/missy0201/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
Review Requests: OFF
482 Public Reviews Given
532 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I pick the item apart and give as much feedback as I can about potential problems that may need to be addressed.
I'm good at...
Most grammar and punctuation issues.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Supernatural, Suspense, Thriller, Dark, Ghost, Non-sense, Comedy, or anything relating to these.
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica, Fanfiction, War, Military, Spiritual, Religious, Nonfiction, Arts, or anything relating to these.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Novels
I will not review...
I'll not review any item that has not be edited to the writer's best ability, or that I find impossible to read and review because of an abundance of grammar and punctuation mistakes that I feel the author could have corrected during editing.
Public Reviews
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126
126
Review of First Paragraph  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the way you started. The first sentance is really good. This might could actually become two paragraphs if you can get more details like looking at something, someone or outside, what he saw and maybe he had a thought about something, he may be fidigeting or he shifted.

What about a period after 72 degrees?
I'm not sure if you need "it was no secret that"
The hallways are now entirely indoors now to protect the youth from the winter cold,.....period after sickness.
In the summer months, People were known to faint from the heat.
Maybe removing were in the last part.
Should the weres in the last part maybe be are?

These are only suggestions. I'm just a writer and reader, not a professional. I hope that maybe something here might help you. I know how hard it is to start, but give it time. It took me over ten years to get my first story the way I wanted. Most of it is writing and letting it rest and going back over it. I found that my writing style changed over time. You will get it where you want it. Just have patience. Keep up the good work and good luck with your writing.
127
127
Review of Conjuring Fiction  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really enjoyed reading this story. I like how you started with the tale of the men and the shadows. The ancient was a nice touch. Leaves no question of how the shadows knew how to get to the men. The discriptions of those things was very believable. The conversations between him and Kathryn were good, and I loved the ending. I like those surprise endings.

Just one thing on this line: “Of course I do. Why do always ask? You know my sweet tooth is legendary.” I'm wondering if you forgot to add "you" to Why do always ask?

I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories. Your style on thise piece seems to remind me of my own writing. I like to end with a twist. Please feel free to check out some of my stories and give me some feedback. Keep up the great writing and I look forward to reading more.



128
128
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This story was so full of detail, I could almost picture it in my mind. I thought the confusion he felt was real and the hallucinations were wild. Great imagination. It seemed to flow really well.

I was wondering, when he first met Nancy, whose appartment did she drag him into and how did he get on the couch? Sometimes I thought she may have been a hallucination the whole time. When he heard the figures talking to him, was it because of the fact that when he had stopped drinking, he had become a psychopath, and started killing people? When I got to the end these were the conclusions I made from it. At times it did seem a little long and drawn out to me, so I sometimes lost track of the story.

Over all I truely liked the idea of the story and the amount of detail that you used. Please note that I'm not a professional, just a reader. keep up the good work, and I wish you the best of luck in your writing.
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