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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mollykingstand
Review Requests: ON
8 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Molly King
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love this!
2
2
Review by Molly King
Rated: E | (5.0)
PRAISE GOD!

*Cross1*
This poem you have crafted glorifies the Lord and His word in a wonderful and skilled way. Thank you for sharing.
What a blessing your writing is, I thank the Lord for His gift that he has given us, that is you.

-------------------------------------------------

*I have yet to study poetry as I am currently studying to be a fiction (Christian) writer.
Even though I am unable to render a proper poetry review I had to express how much I love this piece.


Thank you.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Molly King
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
* Know that the following is only one person's opinion and you are free to take what you need from what I have to say and joyfully leave the rest behind

---------------


* Nicely done and emotionally stirring. I see no punctuation or format problems, {Although, honestly, I haven't made it to advanced grammar in my studies yet}.

* Your execution of the love relationship is realistic in this piece. You possess a youthful, naive and whimsical style that would go over well, I think, in the romance novel genre.

** I was taken aback, somewhat when I got to the words "dummy" and "straddling": I like kindness and romance, but some people like this type of writing and other readers would be left wanting more, which is a good thing.

* I liked it overall. Just be aware there is a fine line between romance writing and soft porn stories. It's easy to drift into "adult" stories. Believe me, I know. I did when I was younger.

*** Keep writing!





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by Molly King
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I completely agree Mr.Langhinrichs.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of The Journey  
Review by Molly King
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very nice. I like the rhythm. As a fiction writer, I don't know much about the technical side of poetry.
Your award says it all. Your heart is definitely in the right place; there is no one more worthy of a beautiful poem and glory than God.

Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review by Molly King
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Pastor Juan, I enjoyed your story. I like your fresh idea that your protagonist is aware of the author. There are some minor mistakes that I noticed. The advanced mistakes I have yet to learn about.

This is only another person's opinion. You are free to take what you choose and leave the rest behind. Only you know the words and content that you want your story to convey.

Your writing is quoted.

1.) "The possibility of danger, especially ever-present zombies, forced her to learn how to be extra careful, and how to use her sense of hearing in a way that she never had before."
My opinion: The above is what is called a run-on sentence. I would put my period after "careful" and adjust the words of the second part; while not changing what you are saying.

2.) The next sentence is a run-on sentence as well. I would reword and rearrange this part too: "With all of the daily noises that used to exist anywhere and everywhere that she went, before all of this happened, she basically had learned to ignore most sounds around her."

3.) "A regular day for her included waking up early, heading to the gym, exercising until she wore herself out, coming home for a nice warm shower, and then heading out to work."
Is another run-on sentence: These are 2 sentences. The second one starts at: "coming home for a nice..."

4.) "Deadlines were stressful for her, but at the same time, they caused her adrenaline to spike *** introducing doses of dopamine, which gave her a sense of excitement on whatever she was working."
Here we have another run-on sentence. Do you see it, Pastor? Look where the asterisks (*) are; This is where the run-on begins. (in my opinion)

5.)"Noémi and Frank ran from the corner heading south along the street, taken advantage of every nook and cranny to hide as they went along."
A minor missed edit: "taken" should be taking.

6.)" Well, you could put me back into the zombie apocalypse story, but at least give me someone who will fight alongside me and help me to find a good ending for the story."
I would make these 2 sentences. Run-on.

7.)"You are welcomed."
Should be: You are welcome. Minor edit mistake.

All in all an excellent story. Thank you for sharing this unique idea.

Much love brother Pastor Juan and God bless you in Jesus name.








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review by Molly King
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wonderful words of faith from a sister/brother in Christ.
Just a few minor adjustments and your good to go.

Line 1.) keep should be keeps and Soul should be soul.
Line 3.) hold should be holds
Line 4.) let should be lets
Line 5.) let should be lets and his should be His
Line 6.) who should be Who (always capitalize when referring to the Lord God) help should be helps


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