|Pastor Juan, I enjoyed your story. I like your fresh idea that your protagonist is aware of the author. There are some minor mistakes that I noticed. The advanced mistakes I have yet to learn about.
This is only another person's opinion. You are free to take what you choose and leave the rest behind. Only you know the words and content that you want your story to convey.
Your writing is quoted.
1.) "The possibility of danger, especially ever-present zombies, forced her to learn how to be extra careful, and how to use her sense of hearing in a way that she never had before."
My opinion: The above is what is called a run-on sentence. I would put my period after "careful" and adjust the words of the second part; while not changing what you are saying.
2.) The next sentence is a run-on sentence as well. I would reword and rearrange this part too: "With all of the daily noises that used to exist anywhere and everywhere that she went, before all of this happened, she basically had learned to ignore most sounds around her."
3.) "A regular day for her included waking up early, heading to the gym, exercising until she wore herself out, coming home for a nice warm shower, and then heading out to work."
Is another run-on sentence: These are 2 sentences. The second one starts at: "coming home for a nice..."
4.) "Deadlines were stressful for her, but at the same time, they caused her adrenaline to spike *** introducing doses of dopamine, which gave her a sense of excitement on whatever she was working."
Here we have another run-on sentence. Do you see it, Pastor? Look where the asterisks (*) are; This is where the run-on begins. (in my opinion)
5.)"Noémi and Frank ran from the corner heading south along the street, taken advantage of every nook and cranny to hide as they went along."
A minor missed edit: "taken" should be taking.
6.)" Well, you could put me back into the zombie apocalypse story, but at least give me someone who will fight alongside me and help me to find a good ending for the story."
I would make these 2 sentences. Run-on.
7.)"You are welcomed."
Should be: You are welcome. Minor edit mistake.
All in all an excellent story. Thank you for sharing this unique idea.
Much love brother Pastor Juan and God bless you in Jesus name.