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457 Public Reviews Given
491 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of The Vikings  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

This has some imagination and a sense of humour.

Suggestions *Idea*

a few bits caught my eye.

form the school curriculem should be from the school curriculum

disregard for foot hygeine Should be Hygiene

that in Egland a wee typo that in England

Overall Impressions

On the whole though I appreciate that this is done tongue in cheek I really think you should try and get some things on the Vikings accurate, as far as I could tell you had their homeland right and very little else! They were not responsible for the dark ages, that was Christianity. They were one of the most hygienic of the peoples at that time, bathing regularly and using combs. I felt the rating on this a little low, perhaps you should go with an ASR rating. That said the humour did come through and I have always had a soft spot for the Vikings so perhaps that influenced me here. You have done a good job with this, and I see from the description that there are others in this 'series' so I may look at some of them. Don't take this as a personal attack, it's not meant as one, I just feel that even humour benefits from accuracy.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

For Sommerlund and the Kai!

77
77
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I like.*Thumbsup*

This has a lot of imagination, the point of view was an interesting one.

Suggestions.

There were a few minor things,

'Preceding a short break.' This doesn't really make sense, I think that you may have meant 'following'

the ever ending blue I think you mean the never ending blue

for though beautiful the this felt a little awkward, perhaps for as beautiful as the

than are not known of a wee typo that are not known of

location takes about two you seemed to change tense here, perhapslocation took about two

Also I'd suggest breaking it up a little, an extra line between paragraphs will make it easier on the reader's eyes.

Over all impressions.

On the whole this has a lot of potential, it is well written and thought out. The names are appropriate for this Genre as is the rating, though if you go into details on the battle you allude to later you may need to revise that. Please don't look at the red bits and panic, they are all minor things that happen to all of us, the method I use to help you identify where they are in the text tends to make it look worse than it actually is. This sounds like it could be a very could story and you should continue with it. A good job.
Thanks for sharing, keep it up! *Bigsmile*

For Sommerlund and the Kai!

"Invalid Item" 
78
78
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I like.*Thumbsup*
I think this has the potential to be a good children's tale. The characters are both vivid and 'real.' There is a lot of imagination in this, which comes across to the reader.

Suggestions.

He always felt perhaps He'd always felt

feferred to them a wee typo referred to them

snke and caught it with a back paw and again snake and caught it with a back paw though this could also lead to some confusion, why did he have to turn in order to use his back paws? I think it is a way of bringing in how fast fish move though that is a guess and some folk don't like to guess!

Over all impressions.

On the whole this is a very good tale about accepting others despite their differences and to always obey your Mother! I will try and get to more of your work as your writing style is good.
Thanks for sharing, keep it up! *Bigsmile*


For Sommerlund and the Kai!

Reviewed for "Invalid Item" 
79
79
Review of The Peanut God  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (5.0)
What I like

This was a very funny little tale. You managed to get a good mood going throughout this.

My thoughts *Idea*

You've got to admire them with their red tape, they never seem to run out of it! There is nothing worse than losing a few years of your life in a queue only to find out you were in the wrong one. I think I'll take your advise and start carrying a small selection of 'treats' with me. Chocolate always seems to go down well! This was well written and thought out, a great job.
Thank you for sharing, keep it up!

For Sommerlund and the Kai!


80
80
Review by Ginfla
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

I liked the characterization, they were realistic and despite not knowing when this is set, at times it felt modern but at others post apocalyptic
, the story flowed logically.

Suggestions *Idea*

A few bits, I'd started reviewing prior to the edit points so it looks worse than it is.

and bruises his father I think this should be and the bruises his father

finally ridded them should be finally rid them

a murderer then at perhaps a murderer at

But they were away from the house for good, and he never went back.I found this a little confusing, do you mean he was...? if not why did they have to leave the house if the father was dead?

understand. And ... did he understand. this was a little awkward, try understand; and...he did understand.

It was as ...weavings. perhaps It was when he...weavings.


the wilds anyways. I don't think you need 'anyways' at the end of this.

use liberal amounts of at times made I feel that you need a comma here. use liberal amounts of, at times made

‘run for.” “A lot of people A wee typo ‘run for.' “A lot of people
sourer the closer should be sour the closer

“It’s not.” He felt like crying. these should be on separate lines.

See edit point 7

"I was born in New York." She blinked These should be on separate lines as well, as it is a new speaker
was telling thr trush he had should be was telling the truth he had

they ahd found Should be they had found

on taking of the Do you mean on taking one of the

nametag?" name tag?"

He looked closed should be He looked closer

would be undestroyed. should be wouldn't be destroyed.

answer her some perhaps answer some of her
Overall Impressions

On the whole a good story that gives good description and follows a logical course. I think the rating is fine and it is well worth continuing. don't let the above put you off, it's all fairly minor. It was well spaced and flowed well, it provides enough of a mystery to keep readers interested.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

For Sommerlund and the Kai!

Reviewed for "Invalid Item" 
81
81
Review of Sleep Tight  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.0)
My thoughts

Again this is a good poem. It has a lot of emotion in it.

suggestions {/b

happy and safe and you only really need one and here, I'd go with 'happy ,safe and...'


My thoughts.

This has a lot of emotion in it, I can identify, perhaps more than I'd like, to it. It is a sad poem, that he feels there is no other way out than death. You capture the feeling well. I hope it is only your imagination that makes you feel this way. ( if not talk to someone, it will get better, honest.) It is well written and handled.

Thank you for sharing, keep it up. *Bigsmile*
For Sommerlund and the Kai!

Reviewed for "Invalid Item" 
82
82
Review of Stranger  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

this was a good poem, it tackles a difficult subject well.

Suggestions *Idea*

hear drinking perhaps hear them drinking

to fast perhaps too fast

and had been you might want to drop 'had' here.

Overall Impressions

On the whole this is a good attempt, I did think that sometimes you forced a rhyme, poetry doesn't need this, but I did warn I'm no poet. Your emotions come through regardless of this. I'd recommend focusing on what you wish to say rather than how you say. Don't take that the wrong way,I believe this is a good poem, and want you to do the best with it.

Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

For Sommerlund and the Kai!

83
83
Review by Ginfla
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
What I like

I like the way that you use the prologue appropriately, as a general overview of the main characters and a brief history of the world / worlds intended to be played in!

My thoughts *Idea*

This looks like it could be a good story, I'll try and get round to reading the rest, time permitting, soon. I did have a wee niggle:
Each of the six must travel to the world’s Therian temples to unlock their power. Once they are ready, it is their destiny to search out the others and destroy the threat of the to their world. also you could set up a link for the first chapter {item:Your items number} at the bottom to make it easier for the reader to get to it.
Though none of this detracts from either the meaning or the overall flow of the piece. An enjoyable read.
Thank you for sharing, keep it up!

For Sommerlund and the Kai!


84
84
Review of Sinners Must Die  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

I found this to be a good story, it has a nice theme and a good moral at the end for those that like that sort of thing! I liked how you changed POV a few times to give a bigger picture, this can be distracting unless it is done well and you did it well. It helps to gain more insight into the characters.

Suggestions *Idea*

Just a few bits, it looks a lot but they are all minor things so don't panic!

that slung over his shoulder I was a little confused at first, slung over implied that it was down his back, perhaps hung from

at times but its sheer this was a little awkward, try at times, its sheer or adding 'it was' at the beginning of the sentence.

origins are, will perhaps this origins are, it will

he need that money just a wee typo he needed that money
Its been 8 days You seem to change tense here, try It had been eight days or if you wish to stay in this tense its should be it's.

'here, but yet' you only need one of these as they mean the same thing, technically.

assassin bend down a wee typo assassin bent down

katana, which its blade again just an extra word katana, its blade

things are bad… And you changed tense again, should be things were bad… and

found a mark on the you don't really need the extra words here, try found the
This leaves 6 left. Apart I found this awkward, try leaving only six, apart

'pouring incandescent' I don't think this fits. Glowing bullets? perhaps incalculable?

Blood splayed from again not sure on the choice of words here, I've always thought splayed applied to body parts in this context, such as rib cages, so it could technically be used but it doesn't quite fit for me.

Star Jaws movie a wee typo, i think. Star Wars movie

would require some try will require some

I noticed that your tenses tended to waver a little and I'd rethink the rating on this, at least a 13+?
Overall Impressions

On the whole I enjoyed this immensely. It's descriptive and full of imagery that draws you in, you have obis then orbis in the next sentence but change it back at the end, my translation is a little (probably way!) off but I'm getting either light of death or ball of light depending on which word it is, in light of the story I'm guessing Obis is the one you mean. The idea of this is excellent though. I liked the way that you described the Guard's fear at the beginning, The feel of... jaws of terror. is inspired! One last pick, would the assassin not have taken him from behind? I'd have thought silence was key at that point and so a swift but silent kill more appropriate? This is my kind of story, it has violence and justice and a way to get away with it! The burning was good for that. A thoroughly fun read, and a great job over all, so don't take the suggestions the wrong way, feel free to ignore all / any of them at will! I only spot them because I tend to make the same wee errors.

Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

For Sommerlund and the Kai!

Reviewed for "Invalid Item" 
85
85
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

This is a good morality tale. I like that you also use it as a myth about the solar cycle.

Suggestions *Idea*

Just a few wee bits.

plains of a dessert I think (hope!) you mean desert

themselves in their eyes. you don't really need the in their eyes here, it can lead to confusion.

...that would bring them... I found this a little awkward, perhaps that had brought them

much daylight the received A wee typo they received

Overall Impressions

On the whole a well written little tale on the benefits of doing a good deed. I know the above is a little picky, but it was meant to encourage not discourage. I'd like to see your take on other things like this, you have a good way of approaching the subject. An enjoyable read.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

For Sommerlund and the Kai!

86
86
Review by Ginfla
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

This has a lot of potential, your character comes across well, you give her a lot of depth.

Suggestions *Idea*

Just a few wee bits, don't panic, nothing major!

gazed forelonely I think you mean forlornly ( pitifully )

But where is the beauty? Where is it? I see it not. I found this a little confusing at first read, perhaps 'But where is the beauty? Where is it? I see it not.' she thought. or place the thoughts in italics {i} at the start and {/i} at the end will give you that effect.

Your practically This should be You're practically

her. She had the most grevious secret. Again just a wee bit of awkwardness, try her; for she had the most grievous secret.

not a love match for perhaps not a love match either, for

I noticed a few times you had i instead of I WDC doesn't auto correct it! I also thought that 19 was a little young for an Elf, even a half blood to marry, but as you say this is just a rough draft so I'll wait and see!

Overall Impressions

On the whole I liked this. It has a lot of room to grow, a few questions will do that! I hope you take the above suggestions as they are meant, as an encouragement to continue with this, and will keep an eye out for any additions you make to it. It has a great premise and is well written.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

For Sommerlund and the Kia!

87
87
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (3.5)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

This had a lot of imagination, the pace moved swiftly adding to the 'feel' of the story. you give good descriptions and draw the reader into your world well.

Suggestions *Idea*

Just a few bits, like at the beginning you may want to start a new paragraph after 'particular night.' And I'm not sure about the paths weaving through buildings in the trees or on a swamp! You could have the shops(places like a blacksmiths for example) in a clearing with paths leading to them. you could put extra spaces when someone speaks and adding an extra space between paragraphs would break the text up a little.

there is little of great think this should be there was little

Well-traveled should be Well-travelled

a jerak if this is the name of a race it should be capitalized. a Jerak

“Aye, cap’n. Sorry.” think this should be “Aye, cap’n, sorry.”
Maybe some perhaps this like some and I think a semi colon would work better than a full stop.

“he’ll be alright Should be capitalized “He’ll be alright

clearly descendent of the riders of old, as her a little awkward, try clearly a descendant of the riders of old, her

get hurt. Isn’t it?” perhaps get hurt, isn’t it.”

as proper perhaps as formal

I also think the explanation of who the 'girls' are when they're being tied up would be easier for the reader. I was a little confused until I reached the end!

Overall Impressions

On the whole I found this to be a good start to something, it starts in an easy manner and keeps the reader interested throughout. the characters are believable and so are their reactions, such as Jaydon disobeying his mother to watch his father. I know this seems to be a bit picky but I did warn you! Please don't be discouraged by this, I think that this has a lot of potential and these changes are meant to help you realize it. Take them or leave them, in the end this is your story and there maybe reasons behind some of it that are not yet clear to me. All in all I enjoyed this a lot.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

For Sommerlund and the Kia!

Reviewed for "Invalid Item" 
88
88
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

There is some sound advice in here, it is well set out and easy to follow.

Suggestions *Idea*

Just a few wee things.

dissapointed Should be disappointed

Never get stressed about it cause the longer you are the longer you'll stay there.
 I found this really awkward, I know what you're trying to say but sounds odd like this, perhaps Never get stressed about it. The more stressed you are the longer it'll take you to escape the rut.

tell my self my story but I always go distrated because a few wee typing errors in this tell myself my story but I always got distracted because

with the rut your in this should be with the rut you're in

Overall Impressions

On the whole this is well thought out and written. It's a good article for a writing site! I tend to write myself into corners and am generally too willful ( some call it stubborn) to give up! Sometimes that is half the fun though! I agree that if you feel it isn't going anywhere or if it starts to feel 'stale' to you, the writer, then chances are it will to the reader. I tend to leave it alone for a while, maybe start something different. I'm surprised how often I write something that ties into what I'm trying to ignore, breathing new life into it. Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

For Sommerlund and the Kia!

89
89
Review of Overcoming Evil  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (3.5)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

This is a very thoughtful piece.

Suggestions *Idea*

Just a few wee bits.

its easy to defeat, but in real life its I think this should be it's easy to defeat, but in real life it's

diffrent story. correct spelling different story.

I Would rather This should be I would rather

Overall Impressions

On the whole a good effort, you could go into more detail about what 'evil' it is you are fighting against but I like that you show that it is by our actions and not words alone that we can make a difference. It's true that this is sometimes the hardest part, but sometimes people don't even now what they are doing is hurtful until some one points it out. A nice read.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy yourself here!

For Sommerlund and the Kia!

90
90
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.5)
What I like

This had a good selection of fictional characters to choose from!

My thoughts *Idea*

This is an interesting little idea, as I said your choices are well rounded, (I should have gone for the tooth fairy!) I did notice that you've spelled Character wrong so you may want to change that, but it doesn't detract from the whole idea so perhaps you won't!

Thank you for sharing, keep it up!

For Sommerlund and the Kia!


91
91
Review of Barely knew me  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I like

This has a lot of emotion in it, I like the way that you repeat some of the words from the end of one line and use them for the beginning of the next.

My thoughts *Idea*

I'm not a poet so I won't comment on the form anymore than I may have already! I will say this is a very touching poem, I wasn't adopted but I never got to know my grandfather's, though I did get to spend some wonderful years with my gran as a result of my father's father dying. Sometimes men of a certain generation don't allow emotions to show, it was seen as weakness, so perhaps he did care but found it hard to express it. A lovely little poem.

Thank you for sharing, keep it up!

For Sommerlund and the Kia!


92
92
Review of Dear Me  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

This is a good letter. I like how you do it as you and your inner critic ( I did Id and Ego!) it makes it both easier to read and gives you more scope.

Suggestions *Idea*

Just a few minor one's.

Not so soon my dear perhaps Not so quick, my dear,

showed how awful grammatical did you mean how many awful ?

‘What I Ask?’a you need a space in here after the '

you have spent time as less as water this confused me at first but I suspect you meant you have spent less time as water

It’s upto you I think you need a space in here too.

Take atmost another and here! I'd also put comma's around at most

all this hardwork I get and again.

“No of course, I’ll give no excuses, not even to my wife like that writer. again this left me a little confused, I'm easily confused though! perhaps “No, I’ll give no more excuses, not even to my wife, like that writer.

What I’m I without you and do you mean am I ?

Overall Impressions

On the whole this is a good letter, it covers all those bits that we all tell ourselves, the excuses we all make as to why we aren't as productive as we could be. Perhaps we should make that a project, the best excuse writers come up with! I know this has come across as a little picky and I apologize for that, it was a good piece, but I suspect it is for the dear me contest and so thought you'd want a thorough review. I found this had a nice easy style about it, I agree with Mr. Optimist, Painter Babu was a good read! It's good that you put that in and your poem, it makes this less of a criticism of your abilities and offers balance to the whole letter. A great job in voicing what most of us here think at least some of the time!
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

reviewed for Moon's little place!
For Sommerlund and the Kia!

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93
93
Review by Ginfla
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
What I like

I thought this was a very humourous tale. I'm not quite her age yet but I could certainly identify with her!

My thoughts *Idea*

I really liked this, especially the part with the woman and the perfume bottle. They're lethal! It goes to show it pays to be nice to your elders. I didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors either, though I personally would use ninety three instead of 93, but that is just me. On the whole a well written and funny tale.
Thank you for sharing, keep it up!

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94
94
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.5)
What I like

This is a thoughtful piece.

My thoughts *Idea*

I found this to be a well written article. I agree with you, these days the friendships we make seem to be more fleeting than those of the 'older' generation. You hit on this with the time constraints on modern women, that and the fact that they are more likely to go to a bar or nightclub than each others homes. I think a lot of attitudes have changed as well, I often see women come into the bar together only to have one of them wander off to another group leaving the other behind. Even a few years ago this was rare, now it is more common. All things come with a price, I guess this is our's! A very good article.

Thank you for sharing, keep it up!

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95
95
Review by Ginfla
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

This is very descriptive, you move it along at a good pace.

Suggestions *Idea*

I found this a little confusing,
However, niether he did not stop, Perhaps you meant However, he neither stopped nor lessened

sonorous, victory cry, you don't need the comma here sonorous victory cry,

again I was a little confused with this,
Alas, All was lost and it was lost to nothing and he would never know what mattered Perhaps this... Alas, all was lost to nothing; he would never know what mattered

Overall Impressions

On the whole I found this to be an interesting piece, I'm assuming the 'monster' is death, which like it or not is always going to get us! I alos assume that the fruit alludes to the pleasures that life gives before death, which can be both bitter and sweet. though in truth had you not had the description it would have been lost on me. I only get that this is a 'fall from grace' one that sides with the fall for a nice change! I'm sorry if this all sounds very picky, it is not meant to be. I liked this a lot and believe it has a lot of potential.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

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96
96
Review by Ginfla
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
What I like

I liked this, it brings the reality of war home.

My thoughts *Idea*

This reminds me of some of the first world war poetry I've read, all those people saying what a grand job they were doing over there, Wilfred Owen used to show them photo's of the bodies to discourage them. I cannot believe that some people out there still see war as a 'game' it is anything but. You do a great job in getting that across.

I'm not a poet so take or leave this as you wish!

When everything seemed surreal Perhaps this

Where everything seemed surreal ?


Thank you for sharing, keep it up!

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97
97
Review of Epthets in Iraq  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.5)
What I like.*Thumbsup*

This is a very thought provoking piece, it is brilliantly written and comes across well.

Suggestions.

This may be a English / American spelling thing but...

Haji my dictionary tells me the correct spelling is Hajji

Over all impressions.

On the whole this is a great piece. I like how you bring up the true meaning and the effect these 'nicknames' can become weapons in their own way. Even now terms that were used in the Napoleonic wars are still used as derogatory terms. If people want respect they should first give it.
Thanks for sharing, keep it up! *Bigsmile*

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98
98
Review of Mondayitis  
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I like

I liked this, it was an easy going humourous read.

My thoughts *Idea*

I too have a passionate dislike of Monday's it's irrational I know but it's there! I like how your character dealt with it, I'm also a fan of 'why suffer alone' philosophy. I found myself liking her despite her obvious flaws, she did what most of us only dream of doing, which I'm assuming is the point. a good story, good luck with the contest!
Thank you for sharing, keep it up!

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99
99
Review by Ginfla
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
What I liked. *Heart* *Thumbsup*

This was a good telling of a sad tale.

Suggestions *Idea*

Just a few wee bits,

blood at the hole perhaps blood from the hole

of here soon, just I think this would tighten it up a little of here, just

of himself dying had never cross I'd suggest of dying himself had never crossed

these are all just my opinion and feel free to take or leave them as you see fit.

Overall Impressions

On the whole this was well written. You could identify with the characters, especially the lieutenant. I liked that you chose to do this from his point of view, it is a harder task but ultimately worth it. This could have been from any of the major conflict in major times though I suspect it is the most recent! This is a good idea as it allows for a wider audience. All in all a good little read.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up! *Bigsmile*

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100
100
Review by Ginfla
Rated: E | (4.5)
What I like

This is well structured and informative.

My thoughts *Idea*

I'd personally change 'Not all is lost' to All is not lost. But that is perhaps just me. I liked that you followed the prompt, it looked hard to do. You highlight the positives both for the employees and the employers which gave this a good balance. The links are appropriate to the article and I like how you appealed to most boss' desire to be well liked by their employees. I'm not so sure I'd like one at my work though, I'd be needing the loo all the time! On the whole a well written article.

Thank you for sharing, keep it up!

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