I found this to be quite a moving piece. It was well written.
My thoughts
I like how you explain art, through the artists eyes. It is one of those mediums that can be open to many interpretations, ask ten people what they thought of a painting and you'll probably get ten different answers. I like how you show that the artist just gives us the picture and leaves the rest to us. I like how you have family as the meaning of life, they can be the most irritating of folks at times but they're our irritating folks! A pleasant read.
Thank you for sharing, keep it up!
This was a heart warming little tale of true friendship, the characters were well thought out and presented.
Suggestions
A couple of wee typos beloved game cricket I'd put a comma here beloved game, cricket
just at the age of three. I think this might read easier at the age of just three.
stitches on her wounds I think this should be stitches in her wounds
Overall Impressions
On the whole I liked this. It goes to show that a good heart is all that is needed in this world to make friends. I'm glad Fariha defended her, so often I see those who ignore such things when their other friends are there. A great read.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!
I found this to be a fascinating read, I liked the way that you showed that death isn't always as appealing as it seems, especially when it is someone else trying to do the killing. This really got into the mind of a soldier, the guilt at what they are doing, no matter how justified governments and they think they are. The end was spot on. It is one of life's certainties!
Thank you for sharing, keep it up!
I liked the premise of this, it looks like it could shape up into a great story.
Suggestions
Just a few typos
childlike gleam. I think you meant childlike glee.
gruesome deatails; correct spelling is gruesome details;
words would sooth should be words would soothe
Overall Impressions
On the whole I found this to be an enjoyable read. The characters are well formed and this sets the stage for what seems to be a grand epic. I will be looking at the other chapters soon to see how it goes! A great little fantasy.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!
This is a well thought out article, it offers some good points.
Suggestions
Just a few minor ones.
mind, If I think this would be better. mind is if
to Freedom Again I think this should be to be free from government interference otherwise you'd have a few inmates demanding to be set free!
snacthing spelling should be snatching
Overall Impressions
On the whole this is a good article it is well thought out, written and argued. It has a good matter of fact style and doesn't preach or patronize. It seems that a lot of folk seem to forget that we too are animals.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!
I loved the images and the theme of this, it's very inviting. It offers more than just a place to request find some new things to review, it's a place to get to know some of our fellow menmbers as well. I look forward to popping back sometime soon!
I like that you put this out for others to read, hopefully preventing anyone getting taken in by these 'people' and I use that term loosely.
Suggestions.
Just a little typo
work as every should this be work, as every ?
Over all impressions.
On the whole it is well written with hints of anger coming through, which in my opinion is what a piece like this should be. I cannot believe how many there are out there both in cyberspace and the 'real world' that think nothing of sullying someones dreams or trying to rip them off in a variety of ways. This is brilliant way of letting fellow writers what pit falls are out there.
I liked the easy going style of this informative piece.
My thoughts
I liked this a lot. I used to be pretty good at spelling and grammar though years of relying on a word processor and it's ready spell check seem to have zapped it! I do tend to point out spelling and grammatical errors if I spot them but I do tend to ignore them whilst I'm reading. If a story or article is good then it isn't that important as long as the message or meaning is clear. A great job.
These are just a few opinions, feel free to ignore at will!
assorted, not too fancy perhaps assorted though not too fancy
but only included Religious maybe but of Religious
You also missed out the full stop at the end!
Overall Impressions
All in all a great little read, the way you set it up I thought it was someone dressed as a shepherd that did it so that was a great twist. I like the sentiment behind it too. It would be nice if they did this in reality!
This is a nice short little ditty! It has a nice wee rhythm and a lot of humour.
Suggestions.
A couple of little typos
Poisen It should be poison
thats should be that's
Over all impressions.
On the whole this was a very amusing little thing! I agree it is worse than poison! Then again I never did like healthy things!
Thanks for sharing, keep it up!
I thought this was very funny! I liked the way he answered after the umpteenth explanation with 'it just does!'
Suggestions.
just a wee suggestion,
I said again with I think this should be I said, again with
Grammar isn't my strong suit so feel free to ignore it.
Over all impressions.
On the whole this is a great little tale about trying to explain a simple thing to a simple man! You get the exasperation out well.
Thanks for sharing, keep it up!
This is a beautiful little poem. I found it very moving.
Suggestions.
Only a few minor things:
And I I'd personally lose the And at the beginning of this, I don't think it would interrupt the flow but I'm no poet so take this into consideration!
seeming empty I think this should be seemingly empty
Over all impressions.
All in all this had a good flow and rhythm and the imagery was great. It reminded me of me! I've always been the 'strong one' though most of this is down to me not being comfortable showing my emotions. That you capture so much in such a short space is a credit to you.
This was an entertaining little tale. I liked that the parents were trying to allow Johnny to keep his innocent belief in santa a bit longer.
Suggestions
Just a few minor suggestions, feel free to ignore them!
nightlight of Rudolph was still lit Perhaps this would work a little better, I found lit again a little repetitive. Rudolph night light was still on
about 5 steps It may just be a personal quirk this one. about five steps
you, “ his wife I think this should be you?“ His wife
Overall Impressions
All in all this was a heart warming tale that was well told. From the description I was thinking it would be the opposite, the disillusion of his believes so I was pleasantly surprised. A truly charming tale.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!
I liked this, it is well written and has a gentle humour to it that makes the heartache all the more poignant. I love the way you capture the frantic way that couples seem to get the hospital only to be brought down to earth with red tape!
Suggestions
Just a few minor typo's that seem to hide during editing!
Oh yea should this be Oh yeah
UP!!!” this should be UP!!!” This
a Mellon, I think you mean a melon,
Overall Impressions
On the whole this is a very moving essay on what is generally an emotional roller coaster ride. people often forget the father during the birth so it's good to get that perspective. It's great that you are still friends, I am with my father who always got the 'night shift' with me as a bairn! A good read.
I like the alternate rhyme in this, it has a good flow as well.
My thoughts
This is a great wee poem, we live in a society that is constantly telling us we have to pair up at the same time saying we have to hold out for that one special person. Like the character of the poem, I have pretty much given up on that idea! I would suggest 'I'd found' instead of ' I found' and ending it with a full stop. That said I'm not really a poet so take that into consideration! A good job.
In wind, in sleet, in hail;
And not one sound have I found
Will he ever wail
perhaps
In wind, in sleet and hail;
And not one sound have I found
That he will ever wail
Oh tell us, bird of gold!
maybe
Like my bird of gold!
These are just suggestions from a non poet so take them as you will! Overall Impressions
This is a nice wee poem. I see it's ten years old I can barely look at my earlier efforts, but as I said I'm not a poet! This shows a good grasp of traditional poetry, it's about time those proud birds got some attention. A great wee read.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!
This has a lot of potential, I like idea of a narrator and you do that well.
Suggestions
A few little bits, use what you will and leave the rest!
Roamin’ rulers Not sure if this is tongue in cheek or not but the correct spelling is Roman !
'lived, and ' I don't think you need the comma here, I'd put it in after inn.
accident, and again I don't think you need the comma accident and
out story begins I think you mean our, I'd also suggest our story will begin. I found the other went against the tone I had in my head for the narrator, perhaps that is just me though.
Overall Impressions
On the whole a delightful little read. The gentle humour through it was well done and the above suggestions should in know way discourage you from continuing this story. They were aesthetic and don't detract from the story as a whole.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!
I found this to be a good start to a story, I think the characters are well thought out and developed.
Suggestions
A few little things such as;
turned his milk I think knocked over his milk might work better.
on em I think you mean on me
Chris began to I believe you might have meant Thomas began to
You also have T a new paragraph then the hat. Near the end.
There were a few other bits throughout; like word repetition, but that is just aesthetics.
Overall Impressions
On the whole I found this to be a good story well told. I like that Thomas retreats into his own world when things get rough, it is a way a lot of us cope with bullying. The way you make Evil beautiful and the reason for this is excellent, A great start to what will surely be a good book
I like this slice of life from another country, it shows that despite all the differences somethings are the same the word over. It had a great sense of comunity.
Suggestions
Only a few minor things that hide from us all during editing.
Mt best friend a wee typo, should be My best friend
unusaully another wee one unusually
look there. should be look there."
You may also want to add spaces between speeches.
Overall Impressions
On the whole I found this to be a good little read. It was a great ending and it showed that despite the hardships friends are always there for each other.
What I liked.
Thank you for letting me know about the addition to this, I might have missed this extra bit! I like the way this is shaping up.
Suggestions and appeared I'd suggest appearing dark but you know my rule on my suggestions!
Overall Impressions
This is shaping up nicely, a good addition. I like tales that make you think as well as feel and this accomplishes that. I look forward to the next installment.
This is a very well written story. I like that you personalized it by writing in the first person
Suggestions
I couldn't think of anything!
Overall Impressions
On the whole I found this to be a great little read, I see it's to be part of something bigger which should be good and I wish you well with that. I thought at first 'you' were going to be ignorance but you covered that! It reminded me of a story my father tod me about when he first came down to England from Scotland and was refused a job by a tyre company that refused to hire Scots! My dad politely reminded him that without the Scots he'd have no product let alone company, I've always been different so I guess I'm used to ignoring it others opinion of me! This was great.
Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!
This was a very funny tale with a lot of description in such a wee space.
Suggestions
Nothing too major, just a few of those things that always seem to avoid our keen eyes in editing!
go here I think this should be come here you may want to close it up as well as it moves to a new line after 'go'
minutes hours I think should be minutes, hours
big,cocky you should have a space after the comma
Overall Impressions
On the whole a good piece of flash! I loved the ending! I can empathise with him a lot! You should check out the daily flash fiction contest if you're into this sort of writing!
This is a great article, I like the gentle humour all the way through. It poses a lot of great questions about life and dating.
Suggestions
I couldn't see anything I'd change.
Overall Impressions
On the whole I liked this a lot, it was good to get the male perspective. I agree with you on the friends not looking out for each other, I see it down my local to. I get irritated with it as I often go for a quite pint on my own and inevitably wind up with some guy who's seen how much I've had and assumes I'm 'up for it' then tells me I don't know my own mind because I say not I'm not! That is a pig, if you wish to use that term ( I quite like pigs, the real ones!) You sound like a nice guy, thanks for sharing this thoughtful article, it is a shame it wasn't published but that is there loss.
Keep it up!
The imagery of this is great, the use of the sea with all it's ups and downs to descibe live is brilliant.
Suggestions
Spelling:
Thee big should this not be The big ?
panick should be panic
Other:
I noticed a few forbidden words in this you may want to change them to something more appropriate to this rating or up the rating.
Overall Impressions
I liked this one. It reminded me of my uni days, I always seemed to be up in the eadrly hours working on something I'd had a month to get done! best of luck with your studies and thanks for sharing.
Keep it up!
This is a great experiment in how we tend to use to many words to say something.
Suggestions
No errors that I could see.
Overall Impressions
On the whole I liked the idea of this, I used to do it in reverse for my essays at uni! I'd start with the bones then begin to add the flesh so to speak, I still use that method in my longer stories, you can give characters more depth that way. I never thought of reversing the process! A good experiment.
Keep it up!
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